If you have herpes trust us youâre not alone. Up to 80% of Americans have herpes (HSV), thatâs most of us.
Despite this overwhelming majority, finding your perfect match knowing you have HSV is a challenge because of the social stigma, not the virus. The stigma is overblown because herpes is widely misunderstood.
Weâre on a mission to end the social stigma, starting with these 7 myths. Â
MYTH 1: âItâs just a cold sore, I donât have herpesâ
Cold sore, fever blister, a âgiftâ, call it what you like but itâs herpes. Most people wrongfully think cold sores are not from the herpes virus or at least not the âbadâ kind of herpes, but there isnât a difference. The point is there is no âbadâ, its all the same. Historically HSV-1 was located north (mouth) and HSV-2 was located south (below the belt), but current sexual two types have become interchangeable. So much so All you need to know is both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be contracted anywhere on your body, so stop thinking of them as different. The only reason you have HSV is because you kissed someone or had sex with someone, thatâs the only thing having HSV says about you.
MYTH 2: âHerpes will ruin my dating life.â
Testing positive for HSV shouldnât end your love life, but a couple things will change. A common knee jerk first reaction is to stop dating and exile yourself to a solitary life. Try not to let this happen, there are billions of people in your exact situation, but insecurity gets the best of them. Currently 1 in 6 men and 1 in 4 women have HSV-2 in the US and over 775 thousand are diagnosed with herpes every year. Most (80%) people donât show any symptoms, which includes your future partners. Even in the worst case scenario if you have symptoms and you pass HSV to a partner, there is an 80% chance they wonât show any signs at all.
The more open you are about HSV, the faster youâll discover people around you are in the same boat. As you learn more about the virus, youâll realize that itâs not a big deal despite the stigma.
Herpes doesnât change who you are so donât let it change your dating life. It sounds contrived, but it will make you more selective and more likely to weed out people that are not good matches for you. If youâve tested positive, it is best to be open with people youâre dating after getting to know them. Having the talk is the only way to build a relationship based on trust. If you want to avoid having the talk altogether, look for a secure dating app for people with HSV. Â
MYTH 4: Â âEveryone with genital herpes knows they have it.â
While itâs estimated that about 1 in 5 people have genital herpes, 80%-90% are unaware. Genital HSV infections often has mild symptoms that can go unrecognized or none at all. Basically, you can be carrying the virus, never have an outbreak and still pass it to your partner. Â It is estimated that 70% of HSV transmissions occur by asymptomatic people which makes it really easy to keep the âpositivityâ going.
MYTH 3: âHerpes can cause a range of health problems.â
In reality, herpes causes very few health problems â it can be a nuisance during an outbreak, but is manageable and easily suppressed with medication. Â The reason 80%-90% of people with HSV have no idea is because they have zero symptoms and most doctors donât screen for it in an STD test panel. If you are curious about why, your healthcare provider can fill you in on why the CDC doesnât deem HSV a major concern. In addition, when people that show HSV symptoms are having an outbreak, their bodies show signs letting them know when they are most contagious and thus make it is easier to manage and protect their partners. A partner that shows symptoms and is taking viral suppression medicine during an outbreak is 75% less likely to pass HSV to their partner. Â Â
MYTH 5: âIf you have herpes, your partner will get it tooâ
When not experiencing an outbreak, someone with HSV-2 has an 8%-10% chance of transmitting the infection to their partner each year if they have unprotected sex and never take antiviral medication. Thatâs like reaching into a bag of 100 black and white marbles once a year and pulling a white one even though there were 92 black ones, very low odds. Antiviral medication can reduce transmission chances 50%, 70% if you are symptomatic. If you practice safe sex using condoms, your chances are reduced another 50%. For those keeping score this brings the yearly chance of passing HSV while having regular sex down to 1.2% to 2.5%. Itâs like pulling the single white marble in a bag of 99 black marbles.
MYTH 6: Â âThere is no test for herpes, doctors simply diagnose it when they see it.â
There is a blood test for HSV-1 and HSV-2, but doctors rarely screen for it, especially if they donât see symptoms. Many people are under the impression theyâve been tested as part of a standard sexually transmitted infection (STI) test, the reality is because the Center for Disease Control doesnât deem HSV a major health threat doctors choose which tests are important enough for a lab run, and without a clear symptom or complaint, they donât think itâs necessary. Ask your doctor specifically to screen for HSV to know for sure.
MYTH 7: Â âHerpes goes away after the first breakout.â
Yes and no. The first outbreak is the most intense because the virus is new to your immune system. Â The symptoms you see in the average Google search is not the norm! You may feel a bit feverish and have body aches, similar to a cold or flu at first. This may also result in the more standard small rash or little white bumps. In subsequent outbreaks, these symptoms are significantly less intense because your body learns to suppress the virus. After the initial outbreak, the virus moves away from the skin surface and becomes inactive, hiding in the nerve tissue. Â Your immune system then tries to keep it suppressed and sometimes it even goes dormant, but it never leaves your system.
In short, you are in no way alone, the health effects are generally really minimal, the sigma exists because people donât know, and your dating life will change only slightly if done right. If youâre newly diagnosed or HSV has kept you from dating, we encourage you to get back out there, in a safe environment where you can date freely without HSV being a factor. Our goal is to abolish the stigma through information and education, so please join us in helping everyone with HSV get back to living normal lives.
CDC: http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm
Project Accept: http://projectaccept.org/straight-dope-herpes-statistics/
World Health Organization: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/releases/2015/herpes/en/
