Sleep Deprived Baguette

☆ Jules ☆ british ☆ 25 ☆ bi ☆ she/her ☆ I reblog so much shit and am generally annoying. Welcome to my small corner of the internet ☆

[ola-na-tungee]

[papayafromtv]

all the batkids are nepo babies not in the civilian/monetary sense but rather because as batman’s babies they are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want in gotham meanwhile any time any other member of the hero world steps out of line batman comes down on them like a steel hammer on a walnut.

batman will provide a list of rules for the JLA any time they need to work in gotham and the JL will just look between the rules and the group of kids hanging out behind batman like. hold on now.

flash: no metas?

batman: yup.

flash: who’s that then?

batman: that’s signal, he can glow and he’s lovely, now take his fucking name out your mouth.

flash: …

~

superman: and you said no guns?

batman: yeah absolutely no guns allowed.

dick: *from upstairs* dAAAAAAD I’M GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK HAVE YOU SEEN MY BADGE AND GUN?

batman: *yelling back* I THINK YOU LEFT THEM IN THE OFFICE.

dick: OH YEAH, THANKS.

batman: NO PROBLEM SWEETIE HAVE A GOOD DAY AT WORK!

superman: hm.

batman: he’s different.

superman: how?

batman: i love him.

~

wonder woman: you are against taking human life, are you not?

batman: absolutely and that is non-negotiable. we are not judge jury and executioner.

wonder woman: i see. turn around.

*jason and tim two rooftops over, arguing how best to dispose of the loa assassin corpses they just took down*

batman:

batman: i dont see a problem here. those are my sweet boys.

jason, distantly heard from behind: yeah fuck you we’re his sweet boys.

wonder woman: *sighs*

~

batman: honestly the most important thing is that we serve justice and keep morality intact even when dealing with the toughest cases.

green lantern: damian has a secret prison under the titans tower where he’s been torturing their villains rather than trying to reform them.

batman: he’s so cute and small. my baby.

green lantern: bruce-

batman: get out of my city.

[hail-dondus]

It looks like they’re dropping a teaser trailer for the new Harry Potter reboot tomorrow

Just a few important and gentle reminders:

🫶🏻 DO NOT WATCH THIS FUCKING SHOW 🫶🏻

If you claim you support human rights - not just trans rights but human rights in general - yet still plan to watch this show, unfollow me. You’re a fucking hypocrite and I don’t want you following me.

Do not watch it even if you’re hate watching it, it still contributes to streaming revenue and views!

The adults in this reboot of the franchise are FULLY accountable for choosing to do this show and accepting a pay cheque over supporting a minority group. Even if they claim they support trans rights, they’re cowards and don’t actually support them at all.

The kids do NOT deserve abuse or hate, whether it’s because you’re comparing them to Dan/Rupert/Emma or because you’re boycotting due to the author’s views. They are literal CHILDREN.

Your nostalgia over a children’s series about kids going to school is NOT more important than trans people being respected and having rights. As long as JKR is still alive, she profits off of this.

[demonicae]

And, just so you know, JKR profiting off of HP has DIRECTLY led to the disintegration of trans rights in the UK.

For example...

Transgender girls told to leave Girlguiding groups by September

It follows an announcement in December that transgender members would be banned from joining.

From yestersday. This follows on from the UK supreme court ruling last year that equalities laws would be based on 'biological sex only.'

That supreme court ruling got through, not because 'everyone believes in it.' But because JKR directly payed MASSIVE amounts of money into right wing thinktanks, politicians, and TERF influencers.

Harry Potter directly funds transphobia and anti-trans laws in the UK.

She pours her money into the J.K Rowling women's fund. Meaning Harry Potter revenue directly pays for right wing transphobic pearl clutchers to take trans people to court and to stamp out the rights of trans people in the UK.

It is also hurting cis women in the UK because now we're all fucking paranoid about being 'transvestigated,' being abused in public (for 'not looking cis enough') or being denied services because some snotty billionaire decided she gets to decide who is or is not a 'woman' (based entirely on her weirdo, white, billionaire-class definition of the word.)

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

personal opinion but, in fandom space, ai generated works are not fan-created contents. because a soulless robot cannot be passionate about something nor can it be “a fan” of something the way human artists are

[beardedmrbean]

how to make your effects extra special

[the-thought-emporium-imperial]

It can be somewhat disheartening when you the artisans and craftsman of yesteryear who created miracles out of limited technology go forgotten. Always nice to see someone somewhere making tributes to them.

[worflesbian]

obsessed with the way riker pets this dog

[ghoststudios]

I like how the dog looks at the camera confused as well.

[papayafromtv]

wildest thing about Jason becoming a part of the batfamily again in Jason and Damian LOA AUs has to be the fact that Damian and Jason get to hang out together again in front of them. like the shit the rest of the family must hear in passing just... during an average conversation between the two has gotta be. the most insane shit ever.

Dick, walking into the kitchen to get a glass of water: Jason, at the table with Damian: -eight of them, which was the best heist i ever pulled off. Damian: i still don't understand how grandfather didn't realise it was you. like, who else in the league was going to be brave enough to sneak eight dildos into his private chambers? Dick: *chokes on his water* ~ Tim: *swinging past Red Hood and Robin on patrol* Jason: the guy in that poster looks exactly like my poison tutor. Damian: oh yeah; hey did you know that guy had a massive crush on you? he admitted it to mother after you left. Jason: Jason: but he was massively homophobic??? Damian: yeah and in denial about it all too, apparently. Jason: ...huh. Jason: you know he tried to fuck a donkey and got kicked into a tree once, right? Tim: *almost swings into a billboard* ~ Bruce: -and Nightwing i want you down by the docks. everybody understand? Everyone else: *murmurs of agreement* Jason and Damian: *furiously whispering in the corner* Bruce: ...Red Hood. Robin. Jason and Damian: *not noticing him, getting louder* Damian: no, no that's BULLSHIT. it was purple. Jason: it was fucking green, Damian. you're colourblind. Damian: I'M NOT COLOURBLIND, YOU'RE JUST AN IDIOT. YOU WERE STRAIGHT OUT OF THE LAZARUS PIT, EVERYTHING WAS GREEN TO YOU. Jason: Damian, you were a ten year old on psychedelic mushrooms. it was GRASS and it was GREEN. Everyone else: Bruce: Bruce: sorry he was a ten year old on what now?

like the league of assassins lore must be WILD to hear out of context and i think the bats hearing just little snippets of it must be so insane for them.

[the-toastr-rat]

I know it's a little early, but it's good to let people prepare!

[peach-pot]

at this point my emoji reactions are more of a sign of my reading comprehension than anything else.

[peach-pot]

“it’s really raining over here” familiar word spotted: rain! I shall reply appropriately: 🌧️

[plaguedocboi]

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

[theboboshow]

Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy

[plaguedocboi]

Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy

[plaguedocboi]

Once again. Do you think this is the fault of the ships themselves

[legsloveless]

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Listen if the study of ancient humans doesn’t make you at least a little bit emotional idk what to say.

I started crying today at the museum because they had reconstructed the shoes of Otzi the iceman.

Either he or someone he knew who cared about him made these shoes out of grass and bear skin and twine and he was wearing them when he died over five thousand years ago.

And a Czech researcher and his students did reconstructions of these shoes and wore them to the same place where he died to test them out and they were like yep! These shoes are really cozy and comfy and didn’t give us blisters while hiking!

Is that not just the coolest shit ever????

[netherworldpost]

(Quietly, with love) We will remember your bread, we will remember your dog, we will remember your shoes

(Quietly, with anger) We will remember your copper

[timmydraker]

Jason: Do you think if we met before I died we would have gotten along?

Tim: …? We did meet?

Jason, genuinely confused: what? No, no, I would have remembered meeting your scraggly ass-

Tim: First of all, you once told me you refused to remember rich people’s name because they ‘aren’t really people at that point’.

Jason: this is true.

Tim: secondly, we literally talked for like, an hour? Do you really not remember?

Jason, lowkey feeling a little bad now but refusing to admit it: Maybe you just weren’t memorable.

Tim: we talked about Frankenstein!

Jason: why were we- OH MY GOD THAT WAS YOU?!

Tim: yes! I thought it was a good conversation :(

Jason: YOU EXPLAINED HOW YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DO EXACTLY WHAT VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN DID BUT BETTER.

Tim: YEAH CAUSE HE SHOULD HAVE USED ELECTRIC EELS INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR A STORM.

Jason: DUDE. I only kept talking to you because I deadass thought you were gonna be a future Rouge.

Tim: huh?!

Jason: dude, you even told me about how easy it is to steal bodies from hospitals in Gotham.

Tim: yeah that… I wasn’t always the best at keeping my cards close to my chest, so that’s on me.

Jason: the only reason I didn’t tell Bruce about you is because I was worried he’d try adopt you and I was worried about getting kicked out.

Tim: I appreciate it.

Jason: if I had he probs wouldn’t have made you Robin.

Tim: that’s… unnerving to think about.

Tim, fiddling with his sleeve: Do you… wanna hear about my new take on how to reanimate the dead to create a whole new person?

Jason, fully aware that Tim could one day be a bad guy and he would have more of a chance if he had Tim on his side: As a reanimated corps, I am more than happy to listen. Have you actually read the book yet though?

Tim: No- so, first thing your going to need is a alibi-

Barbara, who’s been listening over the coms: … *silently starts recording*

[batman-katflap]

Bruce forwarding Wayne Enterprises advertisement emails to Tim for him to deal with only to realise too late he's actually been sending them to Jason.

He only finds out as he's driving down town and sees a giant billboard reading 'Wayne Enterprises. Our CEO is getting plowed by Superman. Can you say the same for yours?'

Suprisingly, the share price goes up.

[pintobordeaux]

[ailelie]

(1) Tim knew this was happening. He could have stopped it. Instead he smoothed the way to ensure that Jason's efforts would see print.

(2) This leads to a campaign in Gotham that "Brucie Can Do Better." Because Superman is, of course, from Metropolis and that Cannot Stand. If Brucie Wayne wants a hero, Gotham has a homegrown one he can screw around with: Batman.

(3) Not only does Bruce start to receive letters asking him to break up with Superman and start seeing Batman instead or letters talking up Batman while talking trash about Superman, but Batman starts getting encouraged to ask out Mr. Wayne. Like, criminals will, mid-fight, ask Batman if he's seeing anyone and talk about how he can't let Metropolis win over Gotham by dating Bruce.

(4) Every other bat and bird is 100% into this joke and will banter with the mooks, sharing that Batman is, in fact, single. And discussing ways he could woo Bruce Wayne or that Brucie could woo him.

(5) Since Superman doesn't have an address, a group of young citizens in Gotham pool their money to take out a full page ad in the Daily Planet that is an open letter to Superman telling him he doesn't deserve Bruce Wayne and that he should break up with him immediately.

(6) Lois finds this all incredibly hilarious and during her next impromptu interview with Superman, she asks about Bruce. The wounded look Clark sends her is captured on film and gets memed.

(7) Bruce wants to remove the billboard. His Board refuses. Business has never been so good. Tim makes a motion to entrust outreach and public relations to Jason full-time.

(8) For this reason and this reason only, Jason has regrets.

[blondejaneblonde]

​9) The billboard is across the street from the local LexCorp subsidiary.

[redstarfish-art]

10) The citizens at Metropolis is outraged that the people of Gotham thinks Bruce Wayne, nepo baby supreme, is too good for their hero. And creates their own petition to get Superman to break up with him.

11) Clark is horrified to find that everyone keeps suggesting Lex Luthor as a viable alternative.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

12) Alfred asks Bruce if he should set an extra place for 'his paramour' going forward.

[szyszkasosnowa]

Holy shit guys I just duck duck went Moby Dick and THE LOGO TURNED INTO AN UNHOLY HYBRID BETWEEN A DUCK AND A WHITE WHALE????

[rosslynpaladin]

I can't get over DuckDuckWent as a past tense of using duckduckgo as a verb. Like yes youre right BUT

[suckingham-phallus69]

Fun fact! If you duck duck went vocaloids, they have icons too

[genderednipples]

[kyraneko]

holy fuck there's more of them?

[redshift-starfire]

They also do it when you search Linux

[zorin-os-official]

PSA

[kawaiimunism]

[kawaiimunism]

how many of these are there???

[heart-eyes-motheracker]

[funny-tik-toks]

[cipheramnesia]

The moment he gets so grossed out he has to leave but he can't.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

She is so brilliantly tasteless.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Every time she makes one of these they get worse

[thepioden]

My brother in law recently became a veterinarian and it has really driven the point home as to how fucking bonkers veterinary medicine is. We don't expect human physicians to really know much outside of their own specialty - a dentist, an otolaryngologist, and a maxillofacial surgeon are three totally different dudes. Meanwhile a veterinarian at a wildlife rehab center is doing orthopedic surgery on a hawk and then doing rounds on baby hedgehogs in the hedgehog NICU and administering antibiotics to a ratsnake. And he also knows how to perform surgical interventions on a cow! What the fuck! Those are all totally, wildly different kinds of animal!!

Shout out to veterinarians, they know Too Much.

[mikkeneko]

I always think about that one post that was like "how come the surviving doctors in zombie apocalypse stories are always veterinarians" and the reply "because veterinarians make 'not getting bitten by their patients' a core skill"

[viralfrog]