[sleeplesswithexo]

Are you no longer active because you've lost interest in exo? I hope you don't mind me asking and I know you might not see this but who knows you might log back in and see it once :)

That is the exact reason why this blog is no longer active. In order to be able to answer people’s questions thoroughly or give an analysis on a member or a situation, I need to be up to speed with Exo. I need to be involved in their activities and the fandom. However, over the course of the past couple of months, I’ve found myself slowly falling out this habit. Before, everything was Exo Exo Exo. From dusk till dawn, I was on some sort of forum or social media site reading about Exo and talking about them with other fans. But real life came in and knocked me on my ass. I had to take a few weeks away to gather myself. To meet certain responsibilities (school, work, boyfriend, etc). At the end of this, I found that my love for Exo, or at least the enthusiasm that I had for them (and this blog) had fizzled. I came to terms with the fact that I grew out of K-pop many years ago, and the only thing keeping me in this crazy fandom was Exo and their music. When I found that I could survive and function without them—when I found that I could become preoccupied with other things or take up other hobbies/interests, the idea of being this dedicated fan who hangs on every word and action of a Korean boy group didn’t seem appealing to me anymore.

The fact is, I will always like Exo. I will always listen to their songs, as their songs were what made me a fan of theirs in the first place. But am I passionate about them? No. Not anymore. Am I obsessed with D.O.? No. Not anymore. I feel that this chapter of my life is over, and to be honest, it was meant to have ended long ago. I haven’t been happy/enjoyed stanning Exo since 2012. The spark was briefly ignited again in 2014 with the release of Overdose, but even that era had to be compromised due to promotions being cut short and members leaving. This plus everything mentioned above is why I had to call it quits.

Again, I would still consider myself an Exo fan, based on the fact that I do really like their music, and I do honestly wish the best for them and their careers, but I just don’t have that deep interest anymore to call myself a stan or run a blog that’s dedicated to them. I loved being the owner of Sleeplesswithexo. I loved getting messages from people and feedback, and of course questions, but it’s not fair to my followers to be active here, because I would only produce half-assed responses to things that deserved so much more. And most importantly, it wouldn’t be fair to me to be bound to this.

With that, I officially terminate Sleeplesswithexo. It had a nice run, but most things end eventually.

[sleeplesswithexo]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all the analyses you did on the exo members. You seem to have such a mature personality and could really understand each member without being biased. It is such a shame that this blog is no longer active but if you ever log back on to see this message, I hope you know that your blog is my favorite out of all the EXO blogs i've read! :)

Thank you so much :^)

[krisinsanity]

[sleeplesswithexo]

Do you think peoples hate towards Chanyeol is unwarranted and blown out of proportion?

I assume you’re talking about the hate he gets for his “colorist” remarks? If so, yes, I think it’s unwarranted and blown out of proportion.

People only pick on Chanyeol because he’s an easy target. There are idols in the industry who are ACTUALLY shitty, mean, arrogant individuals, but let Chanyeol make a joke between friends and he’s “disgusting” and “an asshole”.

What makes all of this even more annoying to me, is that these people who call Chanyeol problematic, are being problematic themselves. How is it not nationalistic and semi-racist to expect someone from a different culture to conform to your cultural norms, and things that are acceptable/not acceptable in your culture? Why is it okay for Kpop fans to hold Korean idols to Western ideals as if Western ideals are superior, but it’s not okay for Asians to have ~their own~ ideals that have permeated through their society and history?

I’d really like a SJW or someone who thinks Chanyeol is problematic to explain their case to me, because it makes no logical sense, and I’m sick of the hypocrisy. You cannot get mad at someone for growing up in a different country and having a different perspective, if that perspective is a part of their unique civilization and lifestyle. You don’t have to necessarily agree with it, but you shouldn’t try and strip them of it, and that’s what people are trying to do. People want to stop Koreans from having their own norms, just because Kpop is a global export. And since Kpop is a global export, people think Kpop idols need to suddenly adhere to every other country’s social rules and abandon their own.

This is all because of things as trivial and commonplace as tan jokes. Trust me; there’s much more going on in Korean society and Kpop that people could decide to have an issue with; things much more emotionally and psychologically harmful — but because race and skin color are such hot topics in the West, and since the majority of people who have a problem with Kpop idols making tan jokes are Western fans, not Asian, it makes sense for those Western fans to hop on this particular bandwagon.

I want international Kpop fans to come to terms with the fact that not every place on Earth is going to suit them and cater to them. People from different places DO have different mentalities. Korean people DO NOT see anything inherently wrong with casually teasing someone about their dark skin, or pretty much any physical feature, whether it be their nose, their eyes, their height, their legs, etc. Koreans are very open about that kind of thing and they don’t take offence. Learn to accept this, and stop trying to force your bias(es) to adopt your Western narrative.

[sleeplesswithexo]

I've heard people say that Kai was arrogant when he first debuted but then humbled after his popularity fell. Do you agree with this? And can you provide any sources?

I take issue with the use of the word “fell”. I don’t think Kai’s popularity fell at all. I think the other members became more popular. Being a Kai stan from the very inception of Exo, I think Kai has always had a constant amount of fans and a good core fanbase since debut. A lot of the people who were stanning him in 2011/2012 are still doing so.

That’s neither here nor there, though. To answer your question, what I think actually happened was; Kai was closed off and removed from fans when Exo debuted. He wasn’t used to the idol life; being in the public eye and being the center of attention must have been very uncomfortable for him in the beginning. Especially for someone as private as him. I think he had trouble interacting and engaging with fans back then, so he just didn’t. This outward behavior came off as arrogant and unapproachable to fans, when it was really him just being his natural shy/introverted self. (Because regardless of how cute and adorable Kai can be, I do believe he is introverted.)

Over time, Kai came out of his shell a bit and exposed more of himself to us. What we’re seeing now is him feeling comfortable enough to do things like smile and wave at fans, make small talk with fans, and even flirt at fansignings. 

It’s a bit frustrating to see how these actions are being misconstrued by some people into him “humbling” himself, because it not only suggests that Kai had an attitude problem then, but it’s implying that he lost loads of fans for whatever reason, and it was just his lack of popularity that made him change. It doesn’t paint him in a good light.

[sleeplesswithexo]

what do you find the most appealing about Kyungsoo’s personality?

If there’s one thing that I particularly like about his personality, it would be how mature and manly he is. I like how he’s down to Earth, and doesn’t have his head in the clouds, daydreaming about bullshit. He’s a “here and now” type person. He lives in the present. He’s logical and realistic about things. A complete Capricorn if there ever was one.

He’s also a hard worker. He sticks to his duties and commits to any responsibilities that he might have. He comes across as principled, reliable, and someone who you can depend on. Again, all of these traits scream mature and manly to me. (Probably because they show a sense of control. They show independence.)

[sleeplesswithexo]

they often come off to be very similar, but what do you think the differences are between D.O. and Kai?

I think D.O. is more sensitive than Kai, but I think Kai can be quite childish sometimes in the things he says and the way he acts, typically with Sehun or when engaging with fans. (His fanboard updates are so adorable.) I guess I’d say that D.O. is more mature in the classic sense of behaving more like an adult, but Kai is more emotionally grounded and doesn’t take things to heart the way D.O. does. 

One example of this could be how Kai does not want to lighten his skin, even when it’s often talked about, and even when he knows that tan skin isn’t desirable in Korea. But D.O. has decided to do something about his narrow shoulders, and we’re beginning to see a difference in his physique. His working out to change his appearance could be because he has a complex, or it could be because he simply got tired of people teasing him about it. Either way, Kai has confidence in his body, and the remarks of other people have not bothered him, whereas I don’t think D.O. is completely confident in his body, and I think certain comments do hurt his feelings.

Another difference is, Kai seems able to adapt to unfamiliar settings quicker than D.O. Although Kai is shy, it takes less time for him to come out of his shell and try new things. For example, when Kai is on a radio broadcast, like Old School Radio, he does try to talk more than usual and look interested in the segment. I could tell that on several occasions during the broadcast, he looked as if he was contemplating whether or not he should say something and offer his opinion, which shows that he is making an effort in variety. On the other hand, while I was watching D.O. on Kpop Planet Radio, it looked like Chen kept trying to coax D.O. to do and say more. It was almost like D.O. was just sticking to the script, whereas Chen was trying to improvise some things and go off the cuff. Even during the commercial breaks, D.O. didn’t let loose. While Chen was in the background playing with Kong, D.O. was mainly focused on reading over his script again and again. 

D.O. does know when to smile, laugh, and be goofy, however. He isn’t serious and deadpan 24/7. I just think he’s a person who’s really comfortable in his ways, and he needs some poking and prodding to show a reaction.

[sleeplesswithexo]

Do you think D.O sometimes regrets being in Exo? It's clear that he loves singing and performing for the people that love him, but when he's off stage, he seems kind of unhappy. He's reserved and quiet by nature but it seems to have gotten worse.

I feel like D.O. isn’t someone who gives up easily. I see him as a real resilient character. Someone who finishes what he started. Some people see it as, “I have to see this through, because I made this choice. I have to take responsibility and or deal with the consequences.”  Unless the circumstances are completely unnatural/destructive/deadly, it’s noble and mature in my opinion to try and stick it out. Not only for the people who depend on you, but for your own esteem.

Then gain, he doesn’t strike me as someone who would put up with bullshit or pain, either. I mean, D.O. is not self-sabotaging. 

I think if he really disliked something (or someone), he just wouldn’t deal with it. In the case of Exo, if he really hated being an idol and having to deal with all of the negatives that come with the lifestyle, I truthfully think he would leave the group. I don’t think he’d stay in a situation that he thought was highly mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing. And it’s not a matter of him “quitting” in this case, or giving up, but refusing to suffer.

In other words, I think D.O. is an individual who weighs his options. He looks at the pros and cons. In certain situations, he’s going to think the pros outweigh the cons. In others, the cons are going to outweigh the pros. Clearly, regardless of how unhappy D.O. looks or seems to be, there’s something that’s keeping him in the group. Whether it’s the members, the fans, or just the fact that he’s living out one of his dreams. Whatever the reason is, it’s enough. So to bring it back to your question, yes, I think it’s very possible that D.O. might have some regrets or on some days, wish he was just an average guy. But, I also think that he loves what he does, and the pros of being in Exo outweigh the cons.

[pandreos]

[sleeplesswithexo]

Hi! Do you think D.O. Or anyone else in EXO would date a black woman or any other woman of color?

I’d say D.O. would be open to dating a black woman. It would be out of his character to write someone off just because they aren’t considered a part of the Korean/Western beauty standard. I mean everything about D.O. is a bit unconventional in my opinion. In fact, I think he is probably more interested in foreign women than he is Asian, just based on things he’s said and how he seems to have taken a liking to most things “American”. (Music, films, etc.) Although he has said that Amanda Seyfried is his ideal type, it’s really not contradictory for someone to like a girl who looks like Amanda Seyfried, but also like a girl who looks like, say, Gugu Mbatha-Raw.  

But to be honest, I think a lot of the guys in Exo wouldn’t have a problem with dating a person of color. Kai comes to mind. I read something about him here which may or may not be legit, but it’s worth a read. (It apparently comes from someone who has slight connections to him through a family member.)

I think Kai listening to R&B, hip-hop and rap from a young age has made him receptive towards black culture. You’ll notice that with Kpop male idols, the ones who typically have a nonconformist ideal type — for example, someone with tan skin or a woman “like Beyonce”, are idols who are known to listen to and really like black music. 

I also think of Sehun. Sehun is notoriously known for liking Caucasian girls with blonde hair, but I get the feeling that he’s open to other races as well. Actually, Sehun is probably open to anyone who is just drop dead beautiful. According to this infamous fan account, he showed an obvious physical attraction to black females.

Other members whom I would include would be Chen, and maaaaybe Suho. (Yes, Suho, haha.)

[sleeplesswithexo]

Who is D.O real ideal type? Idk! Sometimes I think he would like a girl with a similar personality as him but sometimes I get the feeling that he will like a girl that has for example, "Chanyeol's" personality! haha? Anyways, Thank you! I love your blog! ^.^ I have lots of Kyungsoo feels...hehe He's personality is so ahgdjagdasgdja!!!

I think D.O.’s ideal type could maybe be a combination of the two. 

He’s going to need someone whom he can relate to on some level. So the good thing about a girl with a personality that’s similar to his, is that he will probably be stimulated by her, intellectually. Finding someone who shares the same opinions, interest in music and movies, food and fashion, or the just the same fundamental principles or behavioral conduct can be exciting for some people. And I feel like in D.O.’s case, lacking these things wouldn't be a deal breaker, but having these things in common with him would definitely make him more attracted to you. 

However, I fully believe D.O. when he says he doesn’t have a type. I think this is because of how understanding and pragmatic he is, but also how unpredictable he is. Sometimes people forget that D.O. is multi-dimensional. I don’t see him going after just one type of girl, because he can’t be categorized as just one type of guy. I see him going after whoever piques his interest, and I think an array of different girls can do that. 

A girl like Chanyeol would be a good balance for D.O. I get the feeling that sometimes, D.O. has trouble fully letting himself enjoy things, like his surroundings, or new people. A girl that’s a little more gregarious and has a “lighthearted” nature to her would make it easier for him to let loose, and I think D.O. needs that in his life. I think he’d like being around someone who challenges him, and asks him to see things from different perspectives. 

[sleeplesswithexo]

Sm has obviously put a lot of thought and effort into planning this comeback, with all the teasers and the concept is the rebirth of exo. Do you think sm has "reflected" after luhan and kris and are doing this for exo themselves or mainly just money?

I personally don’t think SM has reflected on anything. I think they’re pulling out all the stops and investing a lot into these teasers (and the general comeback) to lure the Chinese public, and the Korean public, back into liking Exo. Which ultimately, is about money.

I think now days, because of all that happened last year, people see Exo as kind of a “messy” group. So, SM needs to do damage control. These expensive, cinematic teasers are the way to go, because regardless of who you are, everyone appreciates aesthetics. Everyone appreciates visuals and something grand, and that’s what these pathcodes have been. 

It also helps that people are fickle, especially people who don’t belong to a fandom and are just casual music listeners. If you do something that they don’t like, they’ll curse you and cyberbully you. But, if you do something popular or “cool”, you’ll get back in their good graces. All Exo has to do is come out with a hit song (and it looks as if “Call Me Baby” will be a hit song) and look dashingly good in their MV, and most of their past scandals will be forgotten, or seen as “not that bad”. 

So again, I don’t think SM has changed. It’s the same company, except now, they’re making sure to rub things in and create this whole idea that Exo is BIGGER and BETTER than they were before. They’re reeeeally hyping up this “new era” thing. Everything is 10. 10 10 10 10 10. And if we’re to believe the theories about certain teasers and lyrics, it’s almost as if SM is shading Kris and Luhan, or saying, “Haha, look what we can do. Exo doesn’t need you.” That doesn’t sound like reflection to me.

[sleeplesswithexo]

What do u think are the difference in the dynamics between kaisoo and chansoo? Which pairing is closer?

I think Chansoo have a more affectionate friendship than Kaisoo, but Kaisoo seem to have more in common and are alike intellectually. So if we’re talking about being close, there are two types of closeness to address.

A lot of Chansoo’s interactions are physical. I’ve noticed that they seem comfortable with skinship. Everything about them from the way Chanyeol “irritates” D.O., to the way D.O. retaliates by hitting or scolding Chanyeol, to how the two of them spend time together outside of their schedule comes across as active. It’s a lively ship, compared to the more delicate and subtle Kaisoo, where most of their moments are unspoken. Moments where the two of them seem to be speaking or know what he other one is thinking, almost telepathically. I think this happens because Chanyeol and D.O., in fact, have many differences. Of course, they are going to connect more in other ways than they would mentally. But, Kai and D.O. have a lot of the same personality traits, so I find that with them, they’re on the same wavelength almost all of the time. Thus, other things, like physicality, tend to not be as prevalent, and are almost seen as unnecessary.

In my opinion, D.O. likes hanging out with Chanyeol because Chanyeol is extroverted. He is able to get D.O. to be more exuberant. And, let’s face it, Chanyeol is hilarious. I think his personable attitude and good vibes are contagious, and can make anyone want to let loose. On the other hand, I think Chanyeol enjoys being around D.O. because he’s honest, and he’s different. D.O. being this kind of quirky individual who doesn’t care about how he looks or what other people think of him is something that Chanyeol appreciates. So with them, it’s very much an opposites attract kind of thing, except when it comes to music. They are on the same page with that. They can come together harmoniously with just their voices and a guitar, and I truly believe that them exploring music and possibly even songwriting together is what blossomed this friendship.

What blossomed Kaisoo? Well again, I’m going to have to go back to their commonalities. I don’t ship Kaisoo, but if I was going to, I’d do so on the grounds of them being similar. I think there’s a profound amount of trust between them, because they know how the other one feels about other people. Kai knows that D.O. is inward, private, and doesn’t express his rooted feelings easily. Similarly, D.O. knows that Kai can be hard to get to know, and could come across as difficult to some people, because of how shy and in his own head he is. I also think that both Kai and D.O. emanate manhood and wisdom. Like a ripe understanding of the world and an intuitive awareness of the people around them. It’s almost like Kaisoo are in on a secret that no one else knows. And for me, this has always been the reasoning for why they are friends.

So, after looking at the dynamics of Chansoo and Kaisoo, it’s clear that both are close in different ways, for different reasons. To say that one is closer than the other is kind of undermining/trivializing the relationship of the other pairing. Another factor is your personal way of looking at friendships and the word “close”. The way you look at these things could be in a contrast to how I look at them. In reality, there is a lot that goes into making a friendship. Both Chansoo and Kaisoo are important. I’ll just leave it up to you to decide what makes one more important than the other, based on your personal outlook on companionship.

[sleeplesswithexo]

how could a Jongin and D.O jealous be like ? :D

Kai would be vocal. If he felt that someone was getting too close to you, or you were spending too much time with other people, he’d tell you. I think Kai wears his heart and his emotions on his sleeve (despite being “cold”), so he really wouldn't be able to hide anything that he’s feeling. His face would say it all.

Kai is the type to put his arm around you in front of other men, or casually drop in the words, “We’re together.”, so everyone knows the deal. But as opposed to being “jealous”, I think it would be Kai’s protective side that would rear its head. He would probably act the same way regarding his sisters and men they’re seeing. For him, I think it’s more about keeping his loved ones close/safe, and less about him being threatened by another male.

A jealous D.O. is a quiet D.O. I think he’s less likely to be straightforward about his jealousy out of fear that he’d seem insecure or controlling. D.O. would probably let it go on for a while before he would question you or try and get a feel for your relationship with said guy.

Based on things that D.O. has said, I do think it’s likely that he feels sexually inferior around other men. Especially men who are taller, have better bodies, and are generally referred to by women as being “manly”. So if you were with D.O., and this type of guy showed you attention or flirted with you, D.O. would suffer in silence. It would affect him (especially if he really really really liked you), but because of the person that he is, he’s going to keep it to himself. I don’t even think he’d be passive-aggressive about it.

[sleeplesswithexo]

Is sekai still close? I really dont understand their rlts. They are bestfriends but it seems there is a distance now between them..

Sekai is pretty much the Holy Grail when it comes to OTPs. I am so in love with their friendship. My friends call me the “captain” of this ship, because I’m that adamant and vocal about them and how wonderfully incredibly lovely they are. That being said, I do agree with them not being as close as they used to be. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about since 2013.

I think the distance that we sometimes see is due to a couple of factors.

1. Sehun and Kai have a relationship that is e s t a b l i s h e d. They’ve been friends for seven years. They know each other like the back of their hand. Sort of like siblings, they don’t have to constantly flaunt and be like, “Hey! Look at how close we are~”, because it’s already implied. Everyone already knows that Sehun and Kai grew up together. Everyone already knows that they were friends way before Exo….which brings me to the second factor.

2. If you know someone inside and out, and you have genuine care for that person, why would you want to exploit it? Why would Sehun and Kai want to put their friendship under a spotlight so people can pick it apart like they did Taoris, sexualize it like they did Hunhan, or question it like they did Xiuhan? It’s possible that Sehun and Kai like for their friendship to be natural and have organic moments, as opposed to being flamboyant and gimmicky. After all, neither of them come across as exactly emotionally accessible and forthcoming, do they? Obviously, showcasing their “OTP” isn’t something they’re interested in.

3. Fundamentally, despite having a friendship, Sehun and Kai are different people. They like different things, and they experience fun in different ways. Sehun’s idea of fun seems to be cruising around at night, shopping with friends, selfies, etc. Kai’s idea of fun seems to be taking the occasional trip to the cafe, reading a book, and watching dance videos. I mean, I’d love to see them out and about more, but I realize that they’re not twins joined at the hip. They have their own, individual, exclusive interests. 

So, in conclusion, this is where I stand with Sekai. I ~still~ feel as if they care about each other more than we can see. I personally believe that if Sehun were in trouble, Kai would be one of the first people he’d call. And, if Kai were in trouble, Sehun would be on that list of immediate friends to contact. They’re just not....y'know....up each other’s asses 24/7.

[sleeplesswithexo]

I think you said you were more K biased, but could you do an analysis of Chen's relationship with the other members. He seems like one of the most easygoing and amiable members, but does not appear to have a particularly close relationship with any of the members. What do you think?

I think that’s a good observation, and I agree. Chen seems to be well liked in the group and has a nice harmony with everyone. He genuinely emanates this friendly/harmless deposition that I think makes it easy for him to get along with others and for others to feel comfortable around him.

Having said that, I do see that Chen doesn’t have a “clique” in the group. There doesn’t seem to be a certain member whom he’s often seen with or is particularly close to. (Not only that, but none of his OTPs are popular.)

Truthfully, I don’t think there’s any reason behind it. I don’t feel like he’s an outsider or anything. I’d chalk it up to him maybe being closer to people outside of the group. Or maybe, Chen doesn’t want to get particularly close to just one or two members. Like I said before, he’s cozy with everyone. Some might say that being good friends with 9 people is better than being super close with one or two. It's all a matter of perspective.

Chen isn’t the only one, though. Lay and Suho are in the same boat as Chen (and even Xiumin, now that Luhan is gone). In my opinion, Lay and Suho have never had a bff among the members. 

[sleeplesswithexo]

Do you think Lay is as unicorn as he seems? I truly believe he's one of the nicest people ever & his thoughtfulness is out of this world but because of something in a show, some people doubt it. In Star Escape Room there was a part where he, another chinese contestant and a white foreign girl were competing and when the girl got eliminated, he was shown smirking, so people were disappointed in this sort of "racial prejudice" and felt that lay and the other man we're teaming up against her.

I don’t think anyone is ever as they seem. People will always be on their best behavior, especially idols. They’re media trained, after all.

I’m not sure about Lay, though. I saw the episode that you’re talking about. I did get the impression that he was happy when the foreign girl was eliminated (I mean, it was a competition), but does that mean he’s prejudiced? Not necessarily. However, it does seem to go against his otherwise generous and good nature, and I think that’s why it was kind of a big deal among some fans.

We’re used to Lay being portrayed as some sort of a saint. Some kind of benevolent being with a sympathetic soul and an honest heart. Anything else, and it doesn’t seem right. Unfortunately, Lay isn’t a saint. He isn’t a crusader, he isn’t a martyr, and no, he is not a unicorn. Lay is really just a regular man. He’s human, so even if he is a nice person, he’s going to have carnal desires, he’s going to have negative feelings, he’s going to have moments of bias, he’s going to lie sometimes, and sometimes he might even be rude/bossy. That's pretty much how I feel about Lay.