playing for sillies

sideblog for reblog spam. 2% more unhinged behavior than main. have at it. main is: @pothosrays

[sleepyrays]

side blog

dfgsdfgdfgsssssssssssssss

[sleepyrays]

god i need to delete all social media forever

[sleepyrays]

in a kind of 180° flip on your post about "the pursuit of greatness is never worth your sanity" i've been preparing myself to face the, admittedly personally loaded, question of 'can i allow myself to pursue greatness again?' after a long time of avoiding it.

on the one hand, avoiding it makes me feel hollowed-out, and on the other hand i know how easy it is to go too far into the pursuit that i end up where you described.

but either way, happy pride! hope you're doing okay & know that you're appreciated ♥️

Pursuing (and achieving) greatness is one of the most wonderful feelings someone can experience, yknow. it isn't all bad, but it isn't all good. Knowing you put the effort into something for so long and actually reaped proof of reward, worthiness, and accomplishment, is a feeling that is unrivaled and unmatched. I would not want to deplete that feeling for anyone, nor would I say that anyone should avoid it.

I only think that if you are seeking it, you should critically analyze why you want it. That desire alone changes its entire outcome and whether it was worth it in the end. It has to be for passion and love and nothing else, because quite literally anything else will render it having left you more hollow than having never received it at all. If not your emotional hollowness, then maybe hollowness of the soul and personality.

Regardless, just be safe in all of life's endeavors.

[sleepyrays]

happy pride btw

[sleepyrays]

the pursuit of greatness is never worth your sanity

neither is it ever a fix, neither will it ever allow you to feel capable, worthy, or good enough

it is a relentless hole that you will keep digging, and a band-aid distraction for the things that are slowly killing you.

[sleepyrays]

Entering that phase of summer break where the manic workaholic distraction high of the semester finally fucks off and instead of crying about art 24/7 i begin to cry about everything else. Because now there isnt anything external to distract me or dissociate me from how deeply unhappy and disturbed I am with my current situation.

Okay now look at this refreshing lemon dill tzatziki and salmon salad I made yesterday (it made me feel better for a bit)

[sleepyrays]

will I ever be happy or even just ok

[sleepyrays]

really getting into agony that invokes complete and utter wrath of biblical proportions lately

[sleepyrays]

recent developments of being a 21 year old art student

- the Rage

- the Anger

- ravenous

- workaholic

- chocolate buzzballs are really good

- vodka seltzers 🤤

- dont talk to me

- I hate sex and blood so much actually

- the rage

- the anger

- sardines and mackerel🤤

- the rage

- the anger

[sleepyrays]

unwell 90% of the time

[sleepyrays]

do you remember? penis ray?

how could I ever forget

[sleepyrays]

<3

hello?

[isvoc]

The brambly forest is a treacherous, roadless place. It is good your paths crossed. She knows the way… for a price. 🫀🗡🌿

It's been a very long time since I painted Nise. She is my forest noodle that definitely needs more art and presence. No time like now! Print, sticker, timelapse are on patreon btw.

[humansoflatecapitalism]

[pigswithwings]

oh…

Many thanks to @/consistantly-changing for the description, as seen below.

Keep reading

[gouged-doll]

[sleepyrays]

start cluster a personality schizotypalmaxxing this year

[whatthemythicalwhat]

I love Josh’s anti-classism so much. I grew up in a single parent household that didn’t have time/the ability to cook. I taught myself as an adult and ended up loving it. I cook with this stuff a lot. Shit, the RealLemon juice ends up in a lot of my cocktails. Sure, I like fancy ingredients when I can afford them and I have things I get picky about using - but I have bad hands, mincing garlic is painful as fuck. There’s a lot to be said for knowing how to work with what you have. Don’t shame people for trying, don’t shame people for feeding their families things that they enjoy.

[brunhiddensmusings]

if you are only a good cook if you have access to premium ingredients at whole foods or above prices then you arent really a good cook