Slient Isnt Always Best

This is where I'll be posting my thoughts.

[slientisntalwaysbest]

6/27/16

I picked a wrong day to come back.

Today marked the one year anniversary of Clydus’s death and I don’t know how I got through that.

ONTOP of that. My now ex for the third time. Decided to break up with me after we spent this long ass three day weekend together, claiming that he didn’t have any “romantic” feelings for me anymore…. Nigga seriously… This is the third time you’ve done this sit. THIRD FUCKING TIME.

And of course I was the idiot who let his guard down because “he loves me, it feels different this time.”

The fuck was I thinking.

[slientisntalwaysbest]

6/9/16

It’s been a year since my last post on this blog, so much has happened in this long year. I can’t wait to fill you in. But not right now. I need some sleep. But I promise I’m gonna use you more.

[slientisntalwaysbest]

I want you to want me.

I want you to want to talk to me, without me having to text you first.

I want you to want me to come over without me having to ask when you’re off.

I want you to want me even when I don’t want myself.

I want you to want to listen to me.

[slientisntalwaysbest]

2:16 AM

What am I doing?

I can’t like both of them.

But I do.

I can’t have both of them.

But I want to..

I shouldn’t want either of them

This is a mess.

I’m a mess.

[slientisntalwaysbest]

12:28 AM

I have yet to come terms with the fact that Jesse and I will be nothing more than this.

I wish we could be more. Oh boy do I wish we could be more.

[dylanmirage]

I actually hate caring about people.

Even though I do it anyway.

People either always disappoint me, you know let me down.

It’s like.. What did I actually ever do to you to be treated this way?

That’s why I don’t like to take compliments. The minute you take it. You’ve sealed your fate. One type is- the “best friends” who claim that you’re a blessing and all this other bullshit And the other is the fake friend that you know is fake but you keep around anyway.

The ultimate goal of these people is to destroy you with kindness and you’ll never see it coming because you think these people care about you.

And let’s not talk about dating…

Someone tells me how attractive I am and yes we can talk… Then out of the blue when I finally start getting attached and thinking it’s gonna work

BAM! They throw the “this isn’t gonna work” line.

Okay rant over. I feel like I’ve been needing to say this for a while.