Imagine this: Shane and Ilya are on the same team, they are out, their teammates are cool with it, whatever. But the rookies are ... curious. And so they draw straws or they play some kind of little game and whoever loses has to go up to their Actual Captain Ilya Rozanov and Three Times Cup Winner Shane Hollander and ask THE QUESTION.
So this rookie walks up to Shane and Ilya, who are having lunch and talking strategy and he knows: he is going. to. die.
Ilya Rozanov is going to kill him. And then Shane Hollander will kill him again.
But his fellow rookies are giving him thumbs up and egging him on from underneath the table at the other side of the room where they are hiding, and he did lose their stupid game and he can't chicken out now so ...
The two hockey legends look up at him when he approaches. Ilya with a friendly smile, Shane with a questioning frown. The rookie takes a deep breath. "How do you decide who tops?" It comes out in a strangled, weirdly high-pitched voice. He closes his eyes. The question is out. He will die.
No one says a word. He opens his eyes. Ilya is looking at him like this:
Meanwhile Shane is looking at the rookie (but mostly at Ilya) like this:
Ilya (lauging his ass off): Is simple.
Shane (looking like he wants to murder everyone in this room and then himself): Rozanov ...
Ilya: Rock, paper, scissors. If I win, I top. If Hollander wins, he bottoms.