Lost in thought, but found on canvas

I'm 26, Male, INFP-T, Artist, and lives in Daly City CA. I don't know what I reblog anymore. Gonna use this to post whatever is on my mind now, since I don't think anyone reads it lmao

[slowlylookbehindyou]

oh god here we go again.

havent been on this in a hot ass minute but pls lord why have you let me fall for a straight man. and that no matter what i did i couldn't stop myself from getting these feelings. I want peace and happiness. I promise i will be good.

He is so cute imo, but also he is a coworker and i have a strict no dating at work policy put on myself but god do i want him so bad. Im thinking about confessing since im about to leave that job but i also don't want to ruin a friendship. I love this friendship group we are in and i just know if i confess and it doesn't end well im not gonna see any of them again.

if i remember to update this i will but lets see how heartbroken i get in 2024 lmfao.

[bulkvanderhuge42]

Japan improves baseball.

[slowlylookbehindyou]

Tryna remember some porn Actors I was obsessed with before and I can’t remember their name. All I remember was someone used it in and imagine it’s BTR LMFAO. I can’t even remember the site they are from

[transjinako]

[slowlylookbehindyou]

Been feeling less self conscious about my body lately :) just tired af lately 😂

[filmcentral]

This is our home We’ve got every generation So full of music A rhythm of its own design

[slowlylookbehindyou]

just thinking about how the end of last year was. end of july i lost my grandmother, end of august i lost the man who i love so deeply. and then in october/november i was forced out of my house. I was in a completely dark place. I didn’t really want to reach out to people but something in me made me.

I cried so much last year. I honestly didn’t think i was capable of crying this much tbh. I never cry. never. the last time i cried was when i was a kid so dealing with all these emotions that just bursted out of me was something unexpected. When i got the news in july i broke down at work. I just couldn’t function. I tried playing it off, like i’m unstoppable, like this will all pass cause i wanted those feelings to pass. I wanted the news to be fake, some sick joke from the other side of the world. I miss you Nay. I still cry sometimes when I think about you. Hell I cried about you when I was on a date...sometimes i still wish it was a joke. Its gonna be a year since you left us. A year since i couldn’t say goodbye in person. A year of me wanting to see you but we can’t because the current conditions of the world at the moment. I love you nanay, even if it didn’t seem like i do.

I promise I will visit one day. Tell lolo all the stories from when you moved over here. And don’t worry about Spunks. He is in good hands. I promise.

And to W. I loved you so deeply. I still have feelings and I know it. I don’t know why I fell for you the way I did but I did. You barely gave me the time of day outside of the gym so why did I fall for you. Was it the idea of you? was it the way you would hold me so caring that it made me feel safe? was it the forehead kisses you gave me when we cuddled? Was it because you were my first? was it just because you gave me the time of day at the beginning. I wish you kept it real with me. I feel like you held back your thoughts and feelings with me. I would have been happy to be anything with you but the day you ended it, a month after my grandma passed incidentally you made me release a dam of water I didn’t know i still had. I cried so deeply on the phone with my coworker who I talked to about you with since the beginning.

I was so utterly lost between losing the both of you. I questioned my life, the reason I live, the reason I love. I wanted you to come back to america one day and live the rest of your life with us. I also wanted to live my life with you W, but it is clear looking back at everything now that you didn’t feel the same. I can finally see you and not be hit with all these emotions now. I can finally function after being by myself again. not thinking about when you’ll text or when you’ll be home. I can finally start work on being happy myself again.

Some days I do wish things were different. That things worked out and we were together. But would you even be happy? You give more attention to that guy than me anyways. You went on way more dates than you went with me. He stayed over way more than me too. I was jealous when I found that out. that jealous turned to anger. But luckily i found someone else. Yeah they don’t want to date, but they make me happy, and they are open with me. They communicate with me like how you never did. I don’t think I will ever lose these feelings for you, but I know how to live with it now. I do wish you the best W. Much Love.

[slowlylookbehindyou]

Thank you for helping me heal just a bit faster

[slowlylookbehindyou]

And so he found someone else when he knew I had so many feelings for him…called me passive when I kept asking for dates and he kept saying he was busy…:/

[slowlylookbehindyou]

I have so many feelings for you it’s unreal

[slowlylookbehindyou]

I really hope this is you actually needing space and. If you just ghosting me

[slowlylookbehindyou]

Oh how I miss you so much.

[slowlylookbehindyou]

So he asked me to give him some space and it’s been 3 weeks since I talked to him. I talked to him for a bit today but we are back to giving space and I hate this tbh

I feel Like we are ghosting each other. I’ve been ghosted before and I don’t want it to happen again

[glitterweave]

[dorfs]

The is the best cinematic experience of the last decade

[themstroll]

THIS IS ALWAYS PHENOMINAL 

[lampfan911-deactivated20250622]

T-Theres a sequel...

I-

[valoria404]

There’s a sequel 😱

[slowlylookbehindyou]

Trying to move on. It’s so hard. Every time I think I’m over him feelings come back with a vengeance

[slowlylookbehindyou]

Honestly just tell me to fuck off. I will.

[adeles]

#Chang’e is a mood

OVER THE MOON (2020)  dir. by Glen Keane & John Kahrs