Espeon for anti-harassment!

Esp // 18 // he/him // Fudanshi, pro-ship // anti-harassment and threats // read Carrd // Be kind to others!! ♡

[benice-espeon]

Friendly Espeon!

Hi! I’m Esp. I finally caved in and made a discourse side-blog. I’m dumb and don’t know how hyperlinks work, so anyways, please read my Carrd! It includes info about me, as well as some helpful links and resources ♡

My Carrd

Basic info though, opinions are in Carrd:

-Esp // 18 // he/him

-Anti-harassment and threats above all else ♡

-Fudanshi and pro-shipper

-This blog will be exclusively discourse-related, mainly in the form of opinion/info posts as well as mental health resources to stay healthy amid the chaos

Stay safe and healthy!

[benice-espeon]

(I have been very dead on this blog because discourse is exhausting. I’m choosing to switch entirely to a resource and positivity-based blog, and I’ve turned off replies, since that is just what is most comfortable for me. Will be going through and purging/editing some stuff. But do not worry! I am still 100% proship.

Thanks everyone :)

-Esp)

[benice-espeon]

Screenshotting NFTs, recreating them, doing whatever you want with them is always morally correct.

[benice-espeon]

Time to donate to ao3 because its a site I frequently use and I appreciate the service they offer.

If you don’t want to donate to ao3, then don’t, but don’t bitch at people who do. It’s their money.

[blood-ichor]

i think what bothers me most about the anti argument of “if you’re ACTUALLY writing to vent your trauma, then why do you need to share it” isn’t even how like, grossly victim shaming that is because it’s really abhorrent to tell people that their trauma is unattractive and shouldn’t be shown to other people;

it’s that it completely ignores what is cathartic about sharing your fucking feelings. we are social creatures. when we are sad, or in love, or angry, or happy, or have any strong feelings, we want to share them. and arguing that it’s inherently evil to want to share painful and difficult feelings just because YOU have decided that it is is so fucking ugly of you. not everyone processes things by journaling or writing to themselves, or meeting with their therapist.

some people find healing and catharsis through sharing their experiences and saying “here, here is something beautiful that i was able to make from something ugly, and i’m proud of that.” some people find value in themselves again by realizing that other people who have been through the same things still have value, too, and they find those people by saying “hey, this is what my experiences are.”

to suggest that someone deserves to sit with their experiences alone because their way of coping and connecting with others COULD be misinterpreted or make other people uncomfortable is disgusting. therapy isn’t a fix all for everything, you don’t magically become healed from all trauma and have the answers to all things coping just because you’re in therapy. talking to people you trust isn’t always an option because some people don’t want to disclose their trauma to people that they know, and they may only feel safe disclosing to people who have no way of knowing who they are in real life.

i’ve been to lots and lots of therapists over the course of my life, been in and out of psych hospitals, and whaddya know, i even have a degree in psychology now! and you know what psychology DOESN’T say?

you know what not a single one of my therapists has ever told me? “don’t share the parts of yourself that hurt because they might hurt someone else.”

you know what they HAVE said to me many times? “when you share with others, you have to remember that not everyone can handle the same things you can, so be mindful of that.”

and that is not AT ALL the same as your “stfu and don’t show this to other people” argument, especially when someone is sharing on a platform like ao3 that intentionally makes it so that we can cater the content we see to our specific needs and wants and comforts, which allows us to be extremely mindful of others. and breaking down the tag system- which is literally the key feature that allows us to be able to do that- is not an act of protest; it’s throwing a tantrum because you don’t want to take personal responsibility for the content you consume on a website that nobody is forcing you to be on.

i started writing fanfic when i was a teenager in the first place BECAUSE my therapist encouraged me to do it, and she encouraged me to share it online, because it made me feel fucking proud of myself. it helped me make friends in an environment that i felt comfortable in for the first time. it gave ME control over my narratives.

so i don’t want to hear this “well if it’s REALLY to process your trauma then go to therapy and don’t share it online” bullshit. because that proves you sincerely have no idea what the hell you’re talking about and why what you’re saying is significantly more psychologically damaging to someone who is trying to express themselves in a way that they feel comfortable with.

it’s really, really ironic that people are using 1984 to wreck the tagging system, because antis are the ones wanting to punish people for thoughtcrimes and pretend that every person who has ever had an intrusive thought/ fucked up fantasy/ dark interest and has written or read about it is an irredeemably guilty evil maniac for doing so.

[evilwriter37]

Oh my gods, this. I recently had a purity policer tell me not to share my shit online because then I was just making trauma survivors look bad. I’m a trauma survivor. My therapist supports what I write and posting it. Telling people that their trauma is too ugly and that they shouldn’t share it and just to keep quiet is basically the same shit that abusers will say. It’s disgusting and harmful.

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

One of the benefits of sharing trauma is that it can normalize the experience. One of my favorite Brene Brown quotes:

“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.”

It’s that moment of “oh god, it’s not just me,” and having even a split-second of validation can change the entire course of your recovery. Humans have always explored our trauma through storytelling. Like OP said, It’s cathartic. 

Trauma exists. Silencing survivors from sharing their stories just perpetuates the cycle. Air is free and each one of us gets to shape it into the words we want.

[evilwriter37]

Reblogging again because some idiot anti in the notes said: “Well, antis only go after people who write it as a good thing.”

First of all, maybe that’s how they’re processing their trauma, so stfu.

Secondly, that’s a fucking lie. I write a lot of noncon, but I write it as the bad thing it is. And you know what I got until I started blocking every anti I see? Loads and loads of hate. I was sent into a depressive spiral, run off of twitter, and told to kill myself and rid the world of my “evil.”

You know what’s evil? The traumatic stuff that happened to me.

You know what’s not evil? Writing about that trauma and posting it online in a space where people can actively and safely avoid it.

[benice-espeon]

Why are people on the internet so averse to holding their parents to a higher standard?

In fact, make that authority as a whole. Corporations, government, etc.

The internet has created this environment where people will hold random internet bloggers to higher standards than the actual real people in their life.

[benice-espeon]

More info about fujoshi!

Hello!

As I'm sure people have figured out by now, this is a topic I care a whole lot about regarding the misinformation about it. Here's a link to a site I just recently saw on twitter compiling information and sources about fujoshi and LGBTQIA+ media.

This site has so much info on it! The people behind it did a great job, and I highly recommend reading through it, regardless of your stance on fujin. I'll also be updating my carrd with the link to this.

fujoshi.info

[benice-espeon]

Hey, not a follower just messing around in sewrch but I checked your carrd and wanted to let you know some of the info links are broken.

fujoshimyths, fetishizingmlm, and proship-resources are just not found, and getinformed was “deleted” but seems to still link to other, newer carrds with the same general purpose.

Ah yeah. I believe the creator of some of those carrds deleted them and left proship spaces. I’ll look into redoing that when I have time, but I don’t check these things often haha. Thanks for pointing this out!

And if anyone has replacement carrds I might be able to add, please do send them my way!

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Just saw some pinecest hate so thought I'd say:

Hi! I'm Citrus! And I really really don't like Pinecest (hear me out, this isn't an anti post)!

I have a twin brother, if you didn't know, and we were both MASSIVE fans of the show. Naturally, we both projected a LOT onto Dipper and Mabel, and their platonic relationship really means a lot to me. When I was younger I'd always lament how so many good fanart was Pinecest- I had to wonder why, why would people have to taint for me what what I considered such an important part of my younger days, what was such an important bit of media for me and my brother, something that felt so personal?

But here's the thing-

It wasn't about me.

Me and my twin projected onto Dipper and Mabel, and that's fine. That's understandable. I'm sure a lot of other siblings who watched the show did the same. I understand that instinctual knee-jerk reaction to seeing something like that, that feels like it should be common sense not to see the characters that way.

But the thing is, not everyone has to interpret or feel the same way about characters as I do.

Pinecest shippers don't know me personally. They don't know or care (for good reason! Why should they?) about my life experience, about my attachment to the show and it's two protagonists. A shipper might feel equally as attached to the two characters, just interpret and enjoy their relationship in a different way, and that's okay! Maybe they have siblings, maybe they don't. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter, because if I don't like it I can just... not interact with it.

I mean, hell, one of my favourite bloggers reblogged a Stancest fic. I was surprised- why would they like that kind of content. (Luckily I didn't have an account of any sort at the time so it's not like my negative opinions would have got to anyone anyway). But do you know what I did? I still clicked on it and read it (granted, I didn't get to the bit with any incest, but the fact that I was willing to open up my mind a little was good!)

I didn't have the same relationship with Dipper + Mabel's characters as I did the Stan twins (I couldn't relate as much to them at the time), so it was more bearable to me. And the same goes for all my problematic ships today! I ship Rickmorty (hear me out! Hear me out!) because I simply can't relate to the characters enough to feel that grossed out by the ship. I don't see myself and my grandpa in that position, and I'm not reminded of my own (platonic, before someone starts going off) familial relationships in the slightest. But someone else might be completely different- they might project a lot onto one of the characters, or both, in a completely platonic sense (much like myself with the Pines twins) or maybe incest, even fictional, is just a major squick or trigger for them! I don't know! All I can do is respect that, and accept that they don't like my ship.

I guess my point is that I'm a proshipper because I have ships I don't like! I have ships that I absolutely despise, that I wish never existed, that I completely loathe. And that's okay! I'm a proshipper because I respect the right for people to ship whatever fictional shit they want!

Because its Not About Me!

Why do I get the right to tell other people what to do with their time?

And the thing is, despite how clear I've made it that I Do Not Like Pinecest, I never once thought 'people shouldn't be allowed to make content for it'. Are people just not allowed to make things that make others uncomfortable? That's just being unfair. Your perfectly vanilla ship could be someone else's trigger. Or their squick. Maybe they just Don't Like It. Does that give THEM the right to tell YOU to stop shipping it? No!

I didn't obsessively go to as many Pinecest blogs and stew in how much I didn't like the ship. And you know what? I'm happier for it! I really am! Nowdays when I see pinecest art I either scroll past it with a scrunch of my nose and forget about it 2 seconds later, or I might even think, "hey, cool art style", or "nice composition" and give it a like. My liking (or lack thereof) towards the ship hasn't changed. I'm just a more mature, sympathetic person now.

What I'm trying to say is proshippers aren't encouraging people to ship "nasty" ships out of spite (ok, maybe a little-). We just want as many people to be as happy and comfortable online as possible. There's already way too much hate and intolerance on here, so why add to it, y'know?

[benice-espeon]

It is not “CP” and do not call it that around me. The legal term is CSEM or CSAM which means Child Sexual Exploitation/Abuse Material.

The term “child porn” implies that children are a porn category. They are not, they are children, and they should not be in any form of sexual media.

Note that CSEM exclusively applies to cases involving real children, not fictional characters. The word children is about real children, not anime characters, and it always will be about real life children.

Stop trying to equate drawing of fictional characters to the actual materials used to abuse children, and stop using the term “CP”.

[sonofmeatthawsmoth-deactivated2]

The thing about “kill pedophiles” and “castrate rapists” and all that is that it’s a flat-out reactionary sentiment that gains a lot of traction in Leftist circles and it goes practically unchallenged because anyone who does challenge it can be accused of advocating rape or sex with children.

[sonofmeatthawsmoth-deactivated2]

Some radfems have found this post and of course they’re treating it with all the nuance such a sensitive subject deserves (telling me to kill myself).

[bayesic-bitch]

I made a joke a couple years back saying that it seems like for a lot of anarchists, the actual issue with the justice system was that the government wouldn’t let them have lynch mobs. And dear god has that one come true, I saw something just the other day saying that the problem with capital punishment was that the government shouldn’t have the right to kill people, but if you just let me bludgeon people to death with a baseball bat it would be great.

[yandere-angela]

i think what people are failing to understand is that the moment anyone is allowed to be an executioner, that power WILL be misused, and it WILL come down hard on literally anyone the group in power wants dead, regardless of whether or not they’ve committed a crime, because that’s how the legal system works rn; people with enough power/influence easily gets away with crimes that people without can’t. just because we’re turning to mob violence instead doesn’t mean that’s gonna change - people who are without power will be executed, and people who do have power will benefit

[meiilan]

The moment I read this my first thought was: There’s currently countries in this world, that actively accuse lgtb+ people of pedophilia. So guess who will get lynched first, if y'all made lynching legal?

[littledeconstruction-deactivate]

dear god yes all of this. it’s very clear that a lot of people don’t want to dismantle the power structures, they just want to be at the top of them

[saltedweather]

Your Very Unfriendly Reminder that the #1 thing Black men were accused of to justify lynching between 1865 and … well, there’s no official “end date” to lynching, but roughly 1940-50s, was rape. Rape of white women and girls.

Anyone who spoke up against lynching was immediately attacked in the press for defending rapists (and pedophiles, though that wasn’t the word they used).

Ida B. Wells’ The Red Record is free and everyone should read it.

When we have the positions “it’s legal to do whatever you want to someone who has done _______,” and “community justice is the answer to government oppression,” we are always going to get to lynching.

[benice-espeon]

Weird twitter discourse is weird, anyways.

If someone is being called out for actual bigotry like racism, sexism, homophobia, etc., it is absolutely not the time to bring up their taste in fiction.

If someone is being called out for blackface, it is not the time to say “yeah and they’re a lolicon!!” like seriously please shut up. Real people being harmed by bigotry will always be more important than someone being into hentai you don’t like.

This goes 100% for callout posts too. If your callout doc starts with screenshots of whoever you’re calling out being into lolisho or whatever, and you save the actual bigotry that actually harms real people for the end, it really shows your priorities, and they do not look good.

[benice-espeon]

Okay, not my typical post, but I care about this as well.

Battleaxe Bisexuals (and exclus in general) need to stop using the Bisexual Manifesto ("Anything that Moves" Issue #1) as their main reliable (read: not a carrd or google doc) source against pansexuality when the magazine explicitly states support for labels other than bisexual, as well as supporting bisexual lesbians.

Please read these excerpts I've taken directly from scans of the magazines, as well as transcripts since they are somewhat hard to read (source Issue #1 pages 22-23)

[It is important to remember that bisexual, gay, lesbian, and heterosexual, are labels created by a homophobic, biphobic, [heterocentric] society to separate and alienate us from each other. We are all unique; we don't fit into neat little categories. We sometimes need to use these labels for political reasons and to increase our visibilities. Our sexual esteem is facilitated by acknowledging and accepting the differences and seeing the beauty in our diversity.]

(Note: I used heterocentric since I myself cannot actually read what that word says, but that's the only word I can't read honestly.)

[Myth: Bisexuals are denying their lesbianism/gayness.

Truth: Bisexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation which incorporates gayness. Most bisexuals consider themselves part of the generic term "gay". Many are quite active in the lesbian/gay community both socially and politically. Some of us use terms such as "bisexual lesbian" to increase our visibility on both issues.]

So please, next time you want to be anti-pan or anti-bi/pan lesbians/gay men, find a source that actually backs you up.

[benice-espeon]

@rittz I’m honestly not sure how you managed to miss the entire point of the first image, but it does pretty clearly state that specific labels don’t matter because we’re all unique and can’t all be fit into certain boxes.

If someone doesn’t find a label suits them, they are perfectly within their right to not use it, and that does include creating new labels to describe their specific experience, regardless of if someone else finds it redundant.

[benice-espeon]

It is 2021 and people still can’t understand the fact that taking a word from another culture and changing its definition is racist and reeks of neo colonialism and yes this is about fujoshi/fudanshi/fujin.

There are so many resources written by native Japanese speakers explaining the nuances and actual meaning of fujoshi and the history behind the term, and people choose to ignore those resources in favor of western definitions (that were largely pushed by actual self-proclaimed terfs, by the way).

Fujoshi is not a dirty word. Making the definition anything other than “a woman who reads BL” is dishonest and flat out incorrect.

Please check out rottenboysclub on dreamwidth for more info! They’ve done so much work translating and making this concept easy to understand for English speakers. It’s just lazy to ignore those resources.

[benice-espeon]

They're deactivated, kiddo love got mass reported (pog)

Ah that‘s great to know. Pog indeed haha.

[benice-espeon]

Hey u have map following you, @/kiddo-love

(pls stay safe and just block and/or report)

Hello!

Thank you for telling me, genuinely. Someone else messaged me about this. I heard about them in a server, but I don’t tend to check my following.

MAPs are 100% not welcome on my blog. I want to make that clear.

On another note, I can’t seem to find them in my following list? Does anyone know if they deactivated or changed names? I don’t particularly want to go searching for this person.

[benice-espeon]

Bit of a personal vent but,

Leaving anti spaces and joining proship spaces has genuinely been so liberating for me. As someone who has had to deal with walking on eggshells in real life, feeling obligated to do that in my online spaces as well, a place where I looked for escape, felt awful.

I am so much happier and calmer now. I’m not in constant fear of accidentally saying the wrong thing to my online friends and getting dogpiled and harassed. It really is a nice feeling.