hey sorry if this is kinda random or if you dont do advice but i saw in bio your a lesbian, im questioning if im a lesbian too but ive had really bad internalised homophobia for a really long time and i just feel crazy guilt abt it, like idek why im not religous or anything, but it just makes me feel like a physical heavy guilt on my chest? do you have any advice for me? id really appreciate it haha, sorry again if this is like odd or anything
oh sweetheart- i am always here. and i am so happy to help in any way i can.
i completely understand the struggle. feeling “wrong” or “bad” for being queer is unfortunately the reality for a large chunk of queer people. i can promise you that you are not alone. im going to be repeating that phrase a lot.
when i first started thinking i could be queer, i pretended it wasn’t happening so i could be like everyone else. the idea that i could be queer made me scared- kind of like what you’re describing, a weight on my chest. i didn’t want to be the sore thumb among all my straight friends. i just wanted to look at some male actor like they did and have hearts in my eyes like they did. but i didn’t. i knew i didn’t. and that was terrifying.
however, i am now outwardly queer with a girlfriend. it took me a while, but i am really happy with where i am. here’s my advice for you.
educate yourself on queer culture, and get involved in it! to be apart of community, especially one as loving as the queer community, is incredibly comforting. to be apart of a group that understands these feelings is SO valuable. being queer or questioning being queer can feel extremely isolating. seek out others. they’ll know. i know. bearing that weight with others makes your load lighter.
write all your feelings out on paper. every thought you have, write it down. when i thought i was a lesbian, i wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote. it made it less daunting to put my brain scramble on paper, see my thoughts physically.
the way you talk to yourself MATTERS. trust me. it’s one of the most important things in the path to acceptance. when you feel that heavy weight on your chest, take three long deep breaths. tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with you. you are a beautiful soul with a beautiful mind and body, and you are worthy of love. keep remembering that no matter what form it comes in, you are worthy of love. you are not alone.
i know how difficult this battle is. you’re so incredibly brave for reaching out, anon. i am always here if you need anything - dms, more asks, anything. i really hope this helps. i also know my girlfriend can speak on this, so im happy to share some of her advice too or give you her @ to send her asks as well. you are not alone.
