sly fcking cooper

one greasy sweet synthlord, on a quest for pasta sauce my fav blog & RPs. ran by El (she/her)

[rubyscarbuncle]

[Bentley voice]: "Sly! You can use ⭕(the circle button) to give me a prostate orgasm!"

[Sly Cooper Voice]: "Use the circle button. Got it. I'll make my family name proud"

[sly-fcking-cooper]

this isn’t a proud reblog but … my username

[freelance-magic]

On the latest episode of Safe house chats (Here's the link) @inspector-montoya-fox and @extraneousdominomask were talking all things McSweeney. (Which is somewhat limited, since in game he only appears for one (1) cut scene and only for about half a comic.) When Aris brought up the idea of our big Sweeney boy having a tramp stamp. Snap seemed pretty supportive and I agree!

Now, it wasn't intended to be a tramp stamp, McSweeney just so happened to see a woman with a cool tattoo in that area and thought 'oh, that's a cool tattoo. I should get one in the same area too.'

The fact that he chose to have 'Pound Town' tattooed there of all places was maybe not super well thought out. He probably meant it like 'Sneak up on me and I'll send you to Pound Town! 👊 (Threat of violence.) And not...you know. (Or maybe he did, idk live your best life, Jim.)

[inspector-montoya-fox]

POUND TOWN !!!!!!!!!!

[slycooperconfessions]

i won't be elaborating lol

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I am whatever the opposite of a speed runner is. I am a game meanderer. I have to look at literally everything. I am overly cautious in every way. I forget to pause and wander away from the game. I take a minimum 7 hours to get through any given level. If you give me a timer I will cry.

[slycooperrotlt]

Something’s happening soon. (Probably not a joke).

[sly-fcking-cooper]

popping my head in around these parts to say how much I enjoyed watching my first ever 8 hour youtube video

i will never stop loving these games

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Positive? Positive.

@redemptioninchaos

Carmelita stared at the two imposing lines on the indicator. She'd laid motionless to the bed, staring at the ceiling, willing herself to believe that her mind was assuming the worst. Now here the lines still were, clear as day. She was pregnant.

Her heart thudded. She looked down at her chiselled stomach, trying to imagine tiny legs kicking. Her stomach churned.

She'd always been careful, yet there was only one father - and he was back in Paris. Six weeks had passed, and she had blocked him everywhere to help herself move on. Now they were indelibly tied, a tiny cub joining them together. What do you say? Who could she speak to?

Truthfully she was desperate to be a mother, however it had always been a 'one day' thought, not a 'this year' or even 'next year'. She'd need to have a husband, she thought, before she could consider the idea. But she loved Sly. Of course, she'd indulged in the idea of the two of them raising a child, but this? This wasn't how it was meant to happen.

The tears came. She lay on the bed, howling, pressing the pillow to her face until it was stained with tears. She had no one here; now she had a child to raise and a pregnancy to fulfil. She wanted this baby, she wanted to show it more love than she'd ever been shown. Yet, how could she live with the child never knowing their father?

Her spiralling thoughts were interrupted by a brash ringing from the bedside cabinet, an unknown number.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Backseat Admirer

@redemptioninchaos

The unfamiliarity of Philadelphia wasn't helped by the fact it was raining, hard. The case had stalled slightly today on a technicality; apparently the 'proof' they had on the case wasn't as concrete as they first believed back at HQ. Moreover, Carmelita's partner Rae had flounced out on a date the moment they'd wrapped up for the day.

Who manages to get a date within twelve hours of being in a new city?

They'd only been deployed yesterday afternoon, sent on the first evening flight out of Paris. Rae had announced her intentions as soon as Carmelita dismissed her, and well before she'd had a chance to ask if Rae wanted to join her for dinner. It now appeared that Carmelita's night would consist of room service and the routine feeling out of place in a new city. Ironically, it was a familiar feeling of unfamiliarity, and what really rubbed salt in the wound was that she didn't have anyone to call anymore when these thoughts bubbled to the surface.

She knew her hotel address, but the rain made it difficult to make out a route on foot. Sighing, she leaned against a storefront, shielding herself from the downpour, to order an Uber. She tapped in her hotel details and watched the cursor slide back and forth, supposedly searching for her ride.

[redemptioninchaos]

"Whateva you say," Sergio shrugged. "Would explain why you'd be feelin' sick. You think ya ate somethin'?"

If she was pregnant, he'd have assumed Sly was the father. If he wasn't, Sergio could understand prospect of pregnancy may have been...embarrassing, or otherwise a topic she'd want to avoid. So, he wouldn't push the subject unless it was confirmed that she was.

He led her outside, opening the back door for her.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Carmelita shook her head and shuffled back into Sergio's (pretty neat) car, wincing, one hand on her stomach. Was she bloated, or was she imagining it?

"No," she replied. "I've barely eaten anything, to be honest. Unless I've had too much coffee. I don't really want to think about it..."

"Thanks," she added, as Sergio closed the door for her. "Anyway, maybe distraction is best. You've got a fun delivery ahead," she nodded towards the paper bag carrying the 'supplies' for the GateCrashr customer.

[redemptioninchaos]

"Would be more fun if they tipped more than $2.50. Fuel ain't cheap." It wasn't the customer's fault that he had a car that operated best with premium fuel, but such a car ascertained they'd get their orders fast.

Once he started the engine, he saw that rush hour traffic was starting to set in. He should his head and said, "Nah, I ain't fuckin' wit this." He shifted into first gear and took a hard right, beating out other pharmacy traffic to take a detour down a one way street. At first, it looked as if he was driving away from her hotel, but after some quick maneuvers to beat red lights and traffic, the projected 20 minute drive was halved, never mind how the tires screeched a few times. For a moment, the old Sergio returned, that time with a proud smirk as he optimized his route with expert precision and timing.

He parked right outside the hotel entrance, turning his hazards on. "I can, uh, get the door for ya," he said before doing just that. He grabbed the supplies from the passenger seat.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Carmelita tried to keep her coffee in her stomach as the car lurched forward and stopped unpredictably. She was sure this was probably reasonably gentle driving compared to Sergio's archival portfolio of journeys, but anything that wasn't a slow, straight cruise at 15mph was becoming challenging for her,

She was touched by Sergio's gentlemanly gestures, a side of him that had been largely unseen until now. She also felt a bit embarrassed, as if she was being treated like a heavily pregnant woman. She hoped that wasn't on her tarot cards.

She stepped out of the vehicle and gazed up at the hotel, a narrow, tall building on the street corner. The rain had stopped, but she felt unusually hot and bothered. As soon as she'd checked in, she would put the fan on and lay back on the bed - once she'd sorted the other thing.

"Thank you, Sergio. Seriously, thanks. It's been good to see you," she said honestly, as they traveled through the revolving doors into an art deco lobby. "I'm going to check in and probably have a lie-down..."

[dragongirltitties]

girl help they are making me do my job at work

[sly-fcking-cooper]

quotes from murray in his pizza delivery boy era

[dragongirltitties]

girl help they are making me do my job at work

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Backseat Admirer

@redemptioninchaos

The unfamiliarity of Philadelphia wasn't helped by the fact it was raining, hard. The case had stalled slightly today on a technicality; apparently the 'proof' they had on the case wasn't as concrete as they first believed back at HQ. Moreover, Carmelita's partner Rae had flounced out on a date the moment they'd wrapped up for the day.

Who manages to get a date within twelve hours of being in a new city?

They'd only been deployed yesterday afternoon, sent on the first evening flight out of Paris. Rae had announced her intentions as soon as Carmelita dismissed her, and well before she'd had a chance to ask if Rae wanted to join her for dinner. It now appeared that Carmelita's night would consist of room service and the routine feeling out of place in a new city. Ironically, it was a familiar feeling of unfamiliarity, and what really rubbed salt in the wound was that she didn't have anyone to call anymore when these thoughts bubbled to the surface.

She knew her hotel address, but the rain made it difficult to make out a route on foot. Sighing, she leaned against a storefront, shielding herself from the downpour, to order an Uber. She tapped in her hotel details and watched the cursor slide back and forth, supposedly searching for her ride.

[redemptioninchaos]

"Whateva you say," Sergio shrugged. "Would explain why you'd be feelin' sick. You think ya ate somethin'?"

If she was pregnant, he'd have assumed Sly was the father. If he wasn't, Sergio could understand prospect of pregnancy may have been...embarrassing, or otherwise a topic she'd want to avoid. So, he wouldn't push the subject unless it was confirmed that she was.

He led her outside, opening the back door for her.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Carmelita shook her head and shuffled back into Sergio's (pretty neat) car, wincing, one hand on her stomach. Was she bloated, or was she imagining it?

"No," she replied. "I've barely eaten anything, to be honest. Unless I've had too much coffee. I don't really want to think about it..."

"Thanks," she added, as Sergio closed the door for her. "Anyway, maybe distraction is best. You've got a fun delivery ahead," she nodded towards the paper bag carrying the 'supplies' for the GateCrashr customer.

[balteus]

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Backseat Admirer

@redemptioninchaos

The unfamiliarity of Philadelphia wasn't helped by the fact it was raining, hard. The case had stalled slightly today on a technicality; apparently the 'proof' they had on the case wasn't as concrete as they first believed back at HQ. Moreover, Carmelita's partner Rae had flounced out on a date the moment they'd wrapped up for the day.

Who manages to get a date within twelve hours of being in a new city?

They'd only been deployed yesterday afternoon, sent on the first evening flight out of Paris. Rae had announced her intentions as soon as Carmelita dismissed her, and well before she'd had a chance to ask if Rae wanted to join her for dinner. It now appeared that Carmelita's night would consist of room service and the routine feeling out of place in a new city. Ironically, it was a familiar feeling of unfamiliarity, and what really rubbed salt in the wound was that she didn't have anyone to call anymore when these thoughts bubbled to the surface.

She knew her hotel address, but the rain made it difficult to make out a route on foot. Sighing, she leaned against a storefront, shielding herself from the downpour, to order an Uber. She tapped in her hotel details and watched the cursor slide back and forth, supposedly searching for her ride.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

"Thanks, Sergio," Carmelita said softly. "Won't be a minute."

She swung open the car door and trundled into the pharmacy, trying not to aggravate her head or stomach. It was, thankfully, rather empty, only a few bored-looking employees wandering around or leaning on their hands at the prescription counter.

She wasn't sure what would help - she mainly agreed to the pharmacy to give Sergio a reason to worry less. Carmelita browsed the indigestion section, wondering if Imodium would relieve it, or maybe some panadol for her head - but truthfully, this wasn't like a bellyache, nor a throbbing headache. Exhausted and keen to leave, she decided to speak to the pharmacist on shift, the idle gazelle fiddling with her nails by the counter.

"Can I help?" the pharmacist asked, without much enthusiasm.

"Hi. I've been experiencing some nausea, vomiting, fatigue..." Carmelita started.

"How long have you felt like that?"

"A few days, at least. It's been the worst today."

"Are you eating normally?"

"Pretty much," said Carmelita.

"And this isn't a typical PMS symptom for you?" she continued, scrolling idly on the computer at the counter and typing something in.

"No - completely new to me," the fox replied, a bit irritated by the gazelle's uninterested tone.

"Hmmm. When was your last period?" the gazelle asked, finally looking at Carmelita and tilting her head.

Carmelita pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, looking away. This all felt a bit intrusive, but she understood why the gazelle had to ask. And surely, surely, there wasn't a chance of it.

"I think around two months ago..." her voice faded to a whisper.

"Okay well, if there's any chance of it, I'd suggest a pregnancy test before I can prescribe anything."

Carmelita blinked back at her, deeply shaken by the notion. "Really?"

"Just to rule anything out," the gazelle continued, reading from her screen. "If I prescribe something, it could interfere with a potential pregnancy and worsen the symptoms."

Before the pharmacist could ask any more probing questions, Carmelita turned her back and looked up into the bright store lighting. Her eyes watered slightly, and she sniffed, patting underneath her eyes to save her makeup. There was no way she was pregnant; she was a single woman focused on her career, no relationship, nothing. This was just a step to get her some medication as quickly as possible. The nausea was probably a stomach virus, or she was overtired and travel sick. She'd take the test, and be able to come back and get some normal pills.

She swished back around, keen to escape the pharmacy as quickly as possible. "Okay, okay. I'll take one back with me."

[redemptioninchaos]

There were several opportunities to take other jobs on Chariot, but they all would have taken him away from the pharmacy and the hotel. However, Sergio curiously opened the GateCrashr app and found an opportunity that seemed too perfect for it to be a coincidence. The hotel he was about to drive Carmelita to had a resident who needed some items from the very pharmacy at which he parked. He'd have been a fool if he didn't take that opportunity.

The client only needed two things, special scale lotion and condoms. At least someone was having fun that night. He turned the engine off and walked inside the pharmacy. He had the lotion in hand before going into the family planning section of the store.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

She read along the top-row display - the four options for pregnancy tests wildly ranged in cost. One was no more than a flimsy piece of paper that had a 90% success rate of telling if you were six weeks along. Not great odds. The most expensive version promised to inform you, via a digital screen with 99% accuracy, if you'd conceived within the last week. She rolled her eyes and picked up one of the middle tests. She wanted something accurate, but it was hardly like she was an aspiring mother, testing each month to see if she'd managed to conceive. The middle would do.

Carmelita hated seeing the 'family planning' sign pointing out the aisle. It was horrendously exposing. This was just a dumb thing she had to do to tick a box for the pharmacist. She wasn't like the other people here, buying who-knows-what for their evening plans. Good for them, but she was here only out of a technicality. Footsteps were coming her way, so she clenched the test and turned her head quickly to scurry to checkout.

Oh no.

An all-too-familiar tabby figure was approaching her, his eyes still on the items down the aisle, but most definitely blocking the way between her and the checkout.

[redemptioninchaos]

Sergio saw Carmelita, but didn't really think much of it at first. He paused only briefly before grabbing the condoms, quickly explaining, "Someone at ya hotel needed some shit, so I'm pickin' it up."

He noticed that she was at the pregnancy test section of the aisle, and recognition flickered in his eyes instantly. There was inquiry in his eyes, but he kept his mouth shut. He wouldn't ask any questions, at least not within earshot of other people, but there was a part of him that seemed...happy for her? His tail twitched slightly, almost in anticipation before he went to the checkout line.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Carmelita didn't say a word at first, frozen to the spot, holding the box very clearly labeled 'PREGNANCY TEST' between her thumb and forefinger. Naturally, this looked suspicious, but she reminded herself of the circumstances - she only needed to explain to Sergio that this was a mistake on the pharmacist's part.

At first, she assumed Sergio had read into her nausea and was coming to 'assist', but it seemed that he already had other better things on his mind. And even if he was telling the truth, he was acting surprisingly unbothered by the fact she was stood squarely by the Family Planning section. As Sergio sauntered purposefully to the checkout, she followed, calling back;

"Sure. Looks like you've already got company this evening, then?"

[redemptioninchaos]

"What?" There was a slight red tint spreading across his face, Sergio quickly recovering his composure. "N-nah. Someone's jest GateCrashin' this shit." As if needing to prove his "innocence," he showed her the screen on his phone. "I ain't really got no plans 'cept work; these bills ain't finna pay themselves. You know how it is."

There was a time during his and the gang's incarceration where he reunited with Liv before traversing the sewers in search of Ariadna. Liv told him that Carmelita often worked six, seven 12-hour shifts at a time, not too dissimilar to Sergio himself while he lived in New York or Philadelphia. Liv had to pull him away from work several times, showing her vulnerability by expressing her need to be with him during lonely nights.

In Philadelphia, Bonita would periodically invite him to parties to which she was assigned to work security, trying to ease his financial worries by saying that he wasn't the only one paying for rent. It didn't work as often, but he appreciated the attempts nonetheless.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Carmelita nodded with a small, tired smile, still a little flushed from her incorrect assumption, and the embarrassing item she had in her right hand.

"Yes...I can relate to that. No plans, nothing ever exciting. Just... work." She had never been one to let frivolity pull her away from her job, even when she and Sly had been together. It wasn't just money to survive, it was a feeling of purpose, fitting her own unique puzzle piece into the world.

She let Sergio pay first, hanging behind slightly and still not saying much. Once she'd paid, she stuffed the test into her inside jacket pocket, leaving it verbally unacknowledged. Sergio, being somewhat a gentleman, didn't say anything. The sooner she explained, the less space there was for misinterpretation.

"Pharmacist asked me to take one, in case you're wondering. There's no way I'm actually pregnant."

[sly-fcking-cooper]

I managed to get my company to pay for a graphics tablet for 'work purposes', so I took it home and christened it with a reasonably fast sketch of my favourite asshole.

This is the smug face he pulls after he signs the Thievius Raccoonus after every successful heist in Sly 2.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Backseat Admirer

@redemptioninchaos

The unfamiliarity of Philadelphia wasn't helped by the fact it was raining, hard. The case had stalled slightly today on a technicality; apparently the 'proof' they had on the case wasn't as concrete as they first believed back at HQ. Moreover, Carmelita's partner Rae had flounced out on a date the moment they'd wrapped up for the day.

Who manages to get a date within twelve hours of being in a new city?

They'd only been deployed yesterday afternoon, sent on the first evening flight out of Paris. Rae had announced her intentions as soon as Carmelita dismissed her, and well before she'd had a chance to ask if Rae wanted to join her for dinner. It now appeared that Carmelita's night would consist of room service and the routine feeling out of place in a new city. Ironically, it was a familiar feeling of unfamiliarity, and what really rubbed salt in the wound was that she didn't have anyone to call anymore when these thoughts bubbled to the surface.

She knew her hotel address, but the rain made it difficult to make out a route on foot. Sighing, she leaned against a storefront, shielding herself from the downpour, to order an Uber. She tapped in her hotel details and watched the cursor slide back and forth, supposedly searching for her ride.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

"Thanks, Sergio," Carmelita said softly. "Won't be a minute."

She swung open the car door and trundled into the pharmacy, trying not to aggravate her head or stomach. It was, thankfully, rather empty, only a few bored-looking employees wandering around or leaning on their hands at the prescription counter.

She wasn't sure what would help - she mainly agreed to the pharmacy to give Sergio a reason to worry less. Carmelita browsed the indigestion section, wondering if Imodium would relieve it, or maybe some panadol for her head - but truthfully, this wasn't like a bellyache, nor a throbbing headache. Exhausted and keen to leave, she decided to speak to the pharmacist on shift, the idle gazelle fiddling with her nails by the counter.

"Can I help?" the pharmacist asked, without much enthusiasm.

"Hi. I've been experiencing some nausea, vomiting, fatigue..." Carmelita started.

"How long have you felt like that?"

"A few days, at least. It's been the worst today."

"Are you eating normally?"

"Pretty much," said Carmelita.

"And this isn't a typical PMS symptom for you?" she continued, scrolling idly on the computer at the counter and typing something in.

"No - completely new to me," the fox replied, a bit irritated by the gazelle's uninterested tone.

"Hmmm. When was your last period?" the gazelle asked, finally looking at Carmelita and tilting her head.

Carmelita pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, looking away. This all felt a bit intrusive, but she understood why the gazelle had to ask. And surely, surely, there wasn't a chance of it.

"I think around two months ago..." her voice faded to a whisper.

"Okay well, if there's any chance of it, I'd suggest a pregnancy test before I can prescribe anything."

Carmelita blinked back at her, deeply shaken by the notion. "Really?"

"Just to rule anything out," the gazelle continued, reading from her screen. "If I prescribe something, it could interfere with a potential pregnancy and worsen the symptoms."

Before the pharmacist could ask any more probing questions, Carmelita turned her back and looked up into the bright store lighting. Her eyes watered slightly, and she sniffed, patting underneath her eyes to save her makeup. There was no way she was pregnant; she was a single woman focused on her career, no relationship, nothing. This was just a step to get her some medication as quickly as possible. The nausea was probably a stomach virus, or she was overtired and travel sick. She'd take the test, and be able to come back and get some normal pills.

She swished back around, keen to escape the pharmacy as quickly as possible. "Okay, okay. I'll take one back with me."

[redemptioninchaos]

There were several opportunities to take other jobs on Chariot, but they all would have taken him away from the pharmacy and the hotel. However, Sergio curiously opened the GateCrashr app and found an opportunity that seemed too perfect for it to be a coincidence. The hotel he was about to drive Carmelita to had a resident who needed some items from the very pharmacy at which he parked. He'd have been a fool if he didn't take that opportunity.

The client only needed two things, special scale lotion and condoms. At least someone was having fun that night. He turned the engine off and walked inside the pharmacy. He had the lotion in hand before going into the family planning section of the store.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

She read along the top-row display - the four options for pregnancy tests wildly ranged in cost. One was no more than a flimsy piece of paper that had a 90% success rate of telling if you were six weeks along. Not great odds. The most expensive version promised to inform you, via a digital screen with 99% accuracy, if you'd conceived within the last week. She rolled her eyes and picked up one of the middle tests. She wanted something accurate, but it was hardly like she was an aspiring mother, testing each month to see if she'd managed to conceive. The middle would do.

Carmelita hated seeing the 'family planning' sign pointing out the aisle. It was horrendously exposing. This was just a dumb thing she had to do to tick a box for the pharmacist. She wasn't like the other people here, buying who-knows-what for their evening plans. Good for them, but she was here only out of a technicality. Footsteps were coming her way, so she clenched the test and turned her head quickly to scurry to checkout.

Oh no.

An all-too-familiar tabby figure was approaching her, his eyes still on the items down the aisle, but most definitely blocking the way between her and the checkout.

[redemptioninchaos]

Sergio saw Carmelita, but didn't really think much of it at first. He paused only briefly before grabbing the condoms, quickly explaining, "Someone at ya hotel needed some shit, so I'm pickin' it up."

He noticed that she was at the pregnancy test section of the aisle, and recognition flickered in his eyes instantly. There was inquiry in his eyes, but he kept his mouth shut. He wouldn't ask any questions, at least not within earshot of other people, but there was a part of him that seemed...happy for her? His tail twitched slightly, almost in anticipation before he went to the checkout line.

[sly-fcking-cooper]

Carmelita didn't say a word at first, frozen to the spot, holding the box very clearly labeled 'PREGNANCY TEST' between her thumb and forefinger. Naturally, this looked suspicious, but she reminded herself of the circumstances - she only needed to explain to Sergio that this was a mistake on the pharmacist's part.

At first, she assumed Sergio had read into her nausea and was coming to 'assist', but it seemed that he already had other better things on his mind. And even if he was telling the truth, he was acting surprisingly unbothered by the fact she was stood squarely by the Family Planning section. As Sergio sauntered purposefully to the checkout, she followed, calling back;

"Sure. Looks like you've already got company this evening, then?"

[shadow-coolness]

*The Cooper gang are disguised as Biker punks at a bar*

Sly: Remember, Bentley, you gotta act tough!

Bentley: (slams bar) I'll take a milk.

[sandmandaddy69]