look outside based on how much i would trust them as babysitters. reasoning under the cut.
spoilers for apartment interactions
the standards are basically, will they burn the house down? can they cook or warm up a meal from the fridge? will the kids still be in one piece when i return? will they keep the kids safe from potential external threats? are they gonna be kind to the kids and not traumatise them?
grandparents house for the weekend: ideal. safe. cared for. not worried about it.
ernest: ernest is consistently kind to kids and they all seem pretty consistently entertained by him. hes got the life experience to keep everyone fed and safe
hellen: she simply has that shit locked down and im not worried about it, shes fine for bonding with kids and her severe aura and watchful eyes will keep everyone safe, while i dont think we've seen her cook i would be pretty surprised if she couldnt.
papineau: i believe in him, hes a Funny Guy in a way i think the kids will enjoy and his occupation has no doubt readied him for youthful shenanigans. he can handle a microwave and decent sandwich bare minimum.
reliable: similar to the above catagory but may have one or two areas where theyre not quite and confident, capable, or experienced. still should be perfectly fine for the day but not quite "drop them off for the weekend"
audrey: she could probably be in the grandparents catagory if not for her possible difficulties with communication with younger kids who may struggle with reading or just not pay attention when she drops a can if theyre too focused on what theyre doing, plus its not entirely clear exactly how mobile she is or how well she can manipulate objects to, say, microwave a meal or handle similar things if the kids cant. if that can be cleared up or if the kids can work with her fine then she should be fine to move up
aster: could be in the top catagory but doesnt have the Authority for me to be confident in his ability to deal with more Rowdy kids. should be all good otherwise.
lyle: struggled with him for a while but you know what? he is a pretty great maze master and kept the kids pretty engaged with that and that counts for a lot. can handle food and security just fine. i trust him
reasonably responsible older cousin: can be trusted to keep them safe and entertained and put together snacks just fine. house may or may not be worse for wear and the kids might get hopped up on sugar, but should be Basically Fine
xaria: she has a soft spot for the kids even if she can be a pain, she wont let anything bad happen. she may end up inviting friends and the house could end up a mess but god knows no ones messing with the kids
xaria and monty: monty is further down and the only reason hes not in the same catagory is the pyromania. good kid but he can be a dumbass with the fire
dubious but at least an adult is present: if its an emergancy then they can Be There, maybe be a deterrent to shenanigans by nature of being an Adult, can... Probably handle making sure the kids have something edible? maybe make sure you have prepared meal. they might surprise you but probably dont be away too long
sybil: would definitely rank higher if she wasnt (for our purposes) trapped nextdoor and only able to peek through the hole and talk. if she could actually interact with the kids in the apartment id put her higher but i dont know how effective the panopticon of a watchful neighbour will be for misbehaving kids would Definitely rather have her there than not.
roaches: adult human Shaped. could probably deter shenanigans and threats. prone to forgetfulness and not paying attention but theres probably always gonna be at least ONE roach keeping an eye on things? could maybe handle getting a meal out of the fridge, perhaps with the kids help, but i dont think they know what is Edible to humans so thatd be a Concern along with potentially Rowdy kids squashing individual roaches on accident or in protest.
dan: look hes a grown man and a nice enough guy. could probably fit in the cousins catagory but i just dont know if he has the Street Smarts for the job. COULD manage snacks i think but im just not sure how good of an eye hed be keeping on the kids if he gets too into the gamer zone. could prove himself and i am open to arguments on his behalf
spine: assuming we could somehow allow her more direct access and is on friendly terms like after her fight. while im dubious i feel like you could trust her as a guard dog with clear instructions and more self sufficient kids, assuming they werent scared of her. if i had to run out and it was her or nothing i would at least Think about it. could rank lower
shadow: could rank higher but its intentions and understanding is Dubious. HAS been nice to the rat child and thats Something. if its an emergancy or a short trip i suppose id rather have it there than not. could probably deter strangers and the kids might think twice about getting into Too Much mischief with that face watching
leigh: can probably heat up a meal, can DEFINITELY deter strangers. would mostly rather her be there than not. will probably encourage or even Instigate Shenanigans, possibly even dangerous ones so Dubious. could surprise me
morton: morton is a sweet guy but i dont know if he knows what humans can eat and may not recognise shenanigans. lacks the kind of authority to keep rowdy kids from getting into mischief, may get Agitated if the kids mess with his stuff. he is adult shaped and may surprise me but im not confident
last resort: im worried about it but if i need an adult there because im worried about a break in or something then i MIGHT ask them to be there
monty: monty COULD rank so much higher but the fact that he has a chance to burn your apartment down with everyone in it and it never occurs to him to Maybe Stop is just Too Glaring of an issue. i love monty but he is NOT going to be preventing disaster while im gone. best case nothing happens and he just burns napkins in the sink or something. if xaria is there to keep him from burning the place down hes fine
maybe just leave the kids home alone at this point: probably more of a threat to the kids safety than anything else around here
phillipe:
baby: bare minimum needs a few more years until they can be up for babysitting duty. i will make some notes for them potentially babysitting eachother or younger kids but ultimately theyre just Too Young to be saddled with that kind of responsibility in an unsafe enviroment
joel: a good kid but not very confident. may point out rule breaking to other kids and can probably grab a snack for the group but do not saddle him with the burden of looking after the other kids
sophie: a bit more street smart and self reliant since she Has been home alone and sought out adults for safety on her own before. can probably look after herself and other kids for a few hours and even put a baby to bed, but may also go on an Adventure or cause trouble for fun. its not fair to expect her to handle all this.
rat child: girl thats a literal babyyy. short of hunting for bugs to eat and biting the ankles of intruders, it should not be expected to babysit until its older
as a small note, i think the three kids together are pretty ideal for looking out for eachother and covering eachothers weaknesses
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