Love in the Dark

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[sykeslandon]

Landon knew that her reaction wasn’t going to be good, but it still felt like someone punched him in the stomach. “I know that, I do… I just think that if we’re ever going to do anything that I shouldn’t start it being dishonest?” He said quietly, not meaning to assume something that wasn’t true. Maybe Ashton wouldn’t even want anything, after all this. “Just. Sorry. I wanted you to know. And I haven’t been sleeping well, so, that’s why I thought I’d let you sleep.”

[slythashton-blog]

“I understand that.” Ashton said, her voice quiet. She couldn’t really fault them. Now she kind of knew why he would go and do something like that because she could feel it to. She felt the need to escape again, but that clearly didn’t do any good last time she tried. Ashton, finally looked up at him, but she didn’t know what to say. “I’m not gong to lie and say it doesn’t hurt.” She started. “Because it does. But it is your life and you are allowed to do as you please,, and I can’t stop that. However, I just need to know you won’t do it again. That’s all I need to feel somewhat okay about this now that we are some sort of thing. Please tell me i won’t happen because I don’t think I’d handle it nearly as well if we are what we are now.”

[sykeslandon]

“I am so sure about you, I just… fuck, this is so embarrassing,” He tried to diffuse the situation, unable to look her in the eye when he actually came out with it. He vehemently shakes his head at the idea at the idea of her going to live with Nadine, though, instantly rejecting that. “I was saving my virginity for someone special. And it’s sort of stupid, I know, but when I left the flat that night I got just blackout drunk and I’m not a virgin now and I don’t even know who it was and now every time I try to go to sleep the things I remember about it are all I can think about.”

[slythashton-blog]

It took Ashton a moment to process it all. Looking up at him again, she couldn’t hide the hurt that was in her eyes. They weren’t together and she knew it was her fault. She kissed him and just left but it still hurt that that was what he did right after it happened. “Oh.” Was all she said, as she looked away from him. Ashton honestly had no idea how to react in the situation. She wasn’t mad.... just upset. “I mean... it’s your right to do that if you wanted to. It’s not like we were together.” She said, trying to keep the hurt from her voice.

[sykeslandon]

Landon laughed nervously, not liking the fact that Ashton didn’t know something about him but stuck on the actual telling her part. “I mean, I’m fine. I just haven’t been sleeping that well period, since that night you kissed me,” He replied, not feeling the need to dwell on the negative part of that memory and instead focusing on how he still gets the fluttery feeling when he thinks about it. “I met this guy, Monty? And I was so drunk that I made a few bad decisions.” 

[slythashton-blog]

“I-did I do something wrong? Are you not sure about it anymore?” Ashton said, biting her tongue after she said it. What he said sounded bad and all she could think about was that it was her fault. “I mean, I can stay at Nadine or somewhere else if you think’d that help.” She offered up. Ashton did her best to keep her face blank, not wanting to show her fear about the situation at hand. “Everyone makes bad decisions, Landon. IT’s nothing to kill yourself over.” She mentioned.

[sykeslandon]

“No, of course not!” Landon rushed to reassure her, before realizing that she was joking. He smiled but shook his head. “Definitely not, you’re lovely I just…” He isn’t even sure how to explain himself but, trying to think of what to say as she’s getting something to drink. “You could always go back to sleep, Puppy’s probably in your bed…” He tempted her, sure that a sleepy puppy could steer most people off-course. “Just can’t really sleep next to anyone right now. My fault, not yours,”

[slythashton-blog]

Ashton took a sip of the water in her as she listened to his answer. A look of concern crossed her face when he mentioned that something could even be?” She questioned him rapid fire style as she walked wrong. Her maternal instincts always kicked in. “what happened. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Ashton asked, looking a him. “Puppy can wait. She is asleep and you aren’t.”

[sykeslandon]

Standing up after being so comfortable was annoying, especially since his chest felt cold where she had been. His mind was running a million miles an hour, though, even with his mental exhaustion. Landon heard movement and assumed that Ashton was just settling in, probably happy to have more space, but her voice makes him pause. He hadn’t really thought of what he should say if she wakes up, assuming that he’d be able to wake up before her and pretend that he had been there the whole night. “Just going to sleep in my room, Ash, don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep,” He whispered, even if there was no exact reason for being quiet besides the movie night making the entire flat feel sort of cozy. There was no reason for her to have to wake up just because he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

[slythashton-blog]

Ashton was tempted to go back to sleep. She was tired after all, but him leaving was weird. Especially since they both knew that feelings were mutual. “Am I not good enough to sleep with?” She asked, a joking tone to her vice. It was clear she was joking. She just wanted to make sure Landon was okay, after all, they didn’t keep much from each other and she didn’t want that to start now. Pushing herself to get off the couch, she walked towards the kitchen. “Can’t sleep now that I’m awake anyways.” She pointed out, getting a glass of water before walking over towards him.

[sykeslandon]

It was late, even for Landon. They had been so caught up the series that they had decided to watch the sequel right after the first. They had started in reasonable positions as friends but one thing led to another and his arm had ended up around Ashton, her head resting on his chest. It was pretty comfy, but she had fallen asleep about halfway through the flick and he chose to stop paying attention since they’d inevitably have to watch the second half another time. He turned the telly off as the ending credits began, staring at the ceiling. It was rare that their flat was this quiet, Puppy having gone to bed ages ago and the only noise being Ashton’s soft breathing. Despite how comfortable he was, he couldn’t find sleep. His brain kept bringing up the last time he slept beside someone else, leaving him itchy in his own skin. Quietly and carefully, he started to untangle himself from Ashton to retreat to his own room. @slythashton

[slythashton-blog]

Movie night had always been a tradition for the two of them. It was honestly something they did more often then not. Dinner and a movie. Homework and a movie. A movie and ignoring homework. And it always started the same way. Just as friend. Watching something they had already seen was quite normal for the two of them. You never knew what detail you would catch. After the first movie in the series was over, it just felt right for the two of them to watch the next one. However, Ashton’s eyes started to grow tired. Cuddled into Landon as she made her best effort to watch, she was very much content. She let her eyes close, and just paid attention to the dialogue and the noise. She had seen the movie enough to not need the visuals to know what was happening. When the sound disappeared, Ashton didn’t stir. She just assumed Landon was going to fall asleep. It wasn’t the first time they would have fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. But this wasn’t like those times because Ashton felt movement. She felt Landon getting up. Maybe he was getting something to drink. She listened for footsteps and heard them not headed towards their kitchen but to his room. It was weird because he never left before. Pushing herself up off the couch, squinting, Ashton spoke. “Where are you going?” she asked. Her hair was disheveled as she looked through the dark, waiting for his voice to break the silence.

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Ashton and Nadine excited over the very warm water and risking their lives to stand on the railing. Taken by Ava.Summer ‘15

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Ashton and Nadine sharing a seat and some secrets. Taken by Landon who they may or may not have been talking about. Summer ‘14

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Ashton starting the process to make a small batch of cookies. Taken by Landon, who was promptly kicked out before he cold eat any of the dough. Winter ‘15

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Nadine and Ashton throwing back to the 90′s on a visit to Portland. Taken by Ashton’s mother, who was coming shopping with the girls. Fall ‘13

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Ashton enjoying the fall weather on a trip home. Taken by Nadine, who came with her. Fall ‘14

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

The executives of the photography club discussing what to do next meeting. Taken by Maya. Fall ‘15

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Ashton, Nadine, and Vera posing after there lunch together. Taken by Ashton’s enchanted camera before it got everyone in frame. Spring ‘15

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Ashton’s in progress decoration station for all of her Christmas cookies. She wanted to take a picture before someone came to eat them all. Taken by Ashton. Winter ‘15

[asheathes]

Hogwarts houses + mood board            ~ [Gryffindor]

[outofcontextarthur]

[hwu-thnksfrthmmrs-blog]

Ashton and Nadine relaxing in the shade after having along, tiring day relaxing in the sun. Taken by Landon, who judged them. Summer ‘14