Joey’s hand fit perfectly in Buck’s larger one, just like he’d remembered. The touch alone sent a zap of lightning through his arm and mercilessly went right for his heart. Thankfully they weren’t standing just yet or Buck feared his knees would’ve given out under him. The warmth of Joey’s hand had flashback’s all the way back to when they first reunited on that one summer night. Joey’s hand had been cold and naturally her fingers had gratefully taken his warm handing as he had helped her up from the cold, dirty ground.
Much like that night, Buck’s heart was dancing to the beat of its own drum as he stood with Joey, putt several inches between them.
But, she hadn’t released his hold immediately either, and almost instinctively, he was preparing to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey.
Almost instinctively, he was prepared to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey. He wanted to caress her knuckles with his thumb and it took the remainder of his willpower not to, worried that she would pull her hand away like she had touched a flame and needed to protect her delicate skin.
“Yeah, that works. If i’m not home, you can always come by the firehouse. Everyone misses you. You’re a big part of the fire-family.”
Ever since Jee’s birthday party, Joey’s presence was brought up every other shift Buck’s, including the topic of whether he and Jo had reconciled their relationship. It always reminded the firefighter of just how complicated his life had gotten and the extent to which his life had changed. He wasn’t the only one affected by his newly found fatherhood.
Just like that, Joey’s hand was gone far too soon as she went to the table and sat, Buck hot on her trail and lifting his little girl onto her high cheer. He made sure to bring their coffee mugs to the table, before he settled in his seat with Emilia between himself and Joey.
Buck couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like, if this was any indication of how his mornings would go with his two girls. If Joey was a permanent part of his life as well as his household. Would she wake him up if his alarm didn’t go off, shoving him to remind him that Emilia would soon arrive? Would they take turns tucking her in at night when she was staying with them? Lost in a string of thought, Buck’s gaze flicked back and forth between his child and Joey.
The firehouse... It was somewhere Joey had gone out of her way to avoid ever since their lives were flipped upside down for clear reasons and the thought of going back there had her stomach in knots. She’d wondered for so long whether any of them missed her being around. As much as Buck had been her love, they had been a family she hadn’t even realised she’d needed until they were there. Between Eddie and his habit of getting her smiling and Hen with her support and her sass, Chimney with... well, with his Chimneyness and of course Bobby... God, the thought hurt. She missed them, and yet a part of her was terrified to go and see them again.
It was strange in so many ways how being here again, being around Buck again, could make her feel so much like herself and so out of place all at the same time. Her chest fluttered and her heart pounded just being here again, just seeing those blue eyes and his smile and wanting to desperately to just fall into his arms and be reminded what it felt like to be held by him, and yet she was aware of how much it felt like walking on eggshells. Would Taylor kick up a fuss and demand Joey not be around Emilia? Would Emilia grow to hate her? Would Buck realise she didn’t have a place in any family unit, especially one with a child that wasn’t hers? Would she even be able to have the family she wanted if Buck already had a perfect little girl sitting there, looking at her with those ridiculously blue eyes and already munching away?
They were all hard thoughts, worries that had well and truly settled themselves into her chest and she couldn’t quite shake them off. Her world - their world - had been thrown upside down and shaken around for good measure and Joey was no longer sure what their future could look like. It had always been so clear... They’d work and follow their careers and eventually they’d be talking about a family, even about a baby. Then there could be a wedding, a child, maybe even a little house somewhere. Now? Now that wasn’t so simple or so clear. It could look like anything now.
It could be Joey on the sidelines, as a family friend that popped by every now and then. Or it could be school plays and graduations with Emilia where Buck and Taylor sat side by side in the family seats and she sat a few rows back with the extras. It could be birthday parties she wasn’t invited to. It could be nothing at all. Or it could be everything. There was always that hope that it could still be everything and god did she ache for everything with him. She always had and regardless of how it all turned out, she was sure she always would. They were all big, huge, scary thoughts that Joey knew were jumping too far ahead when it felt so much like they were starting from the beginning all over again.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Worst case scenario, Maddie is trying to get me to meet for lunch so I could always give them to her to give to Chimney. Whatever works best,” She offered, settling down and giving a tiny clear of her throat to shake off everything weighing at her. A sip of her coffee helped a little more, and a bite of the waffles did too. She glanced between Emilia and Buck, her cheeks flushing somewhat when she caught his gaze. “So... So what plans for the day have I interrupted?” She found herself asking, trying to distract from the sudden need to reach out for his hand or even just nudge him under the table.... Or to throw caution to the wind and kiss him on his stupid mouth. Thankfully, she had a little more self control than she typically gave herself credit for and she stayed well and truly seated.
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