go for buck!

[evan-buckley118]

buck's current starters

buck’s older current starters. new ones will be posted and tagged here

[evan-buckley118]

smalltownbeans​:

Joey was capping the marker she had in her hand as well as Buck came back over, glancing to make sure Emilia hadn’t run off with one. Content that she hadn’t, her eyes easily found Buck again, catching onto his as he looked straight at her. 

Maybe it was just a second, maybe a few moments, but it felt like a long-awaited eternity that their eyes were locked. It felt right, exactly how things were meant to be, how they were supposed to pass each and every day. It was bittersweet in a lot of ways, but she had to remind herself that this breakfast, at least before the double booking, had been one of their first steps towards getting back even a fraction of what they had. 

She was allowed to hope, even if the thought terrified her. She wasn’t sure she’d survive it all falling apart again, but she could let herself have this. She could let herself believe, even just for the moment that their eyes were locked and even the moment he was holding out his hand, that they would be okay in the long run. Whatever the future looked like, whatever they ended up being, friends or otherwise, it would be okay. She had to believe that.

Taking his hand, Joey got herself up with a small but warm smile in thanks, even ducking her head a little before she could do something as silly as peck him on the cheek. It was practically a habit by this point and took a good moment for her to remember not to now. “I’ll bring it by. Maybe I can drop it off on my way to work later in the week?” She offered, looking behind him as Emilia tried to climb up. 

Her hand lingered, not wanting to let go but she knew she had to, if only so she could fill her stomach with those delicious smelling waffles and a good cup of coffee, “It’s an old one but still in pretty good condition so she’s welcome to keep it. I might have an old party blue one, if you like. If that’s okay with you and her mom of course,” She offered, finally though reluctantly releasing his hand and starting towards the table so Buck could help the little girl and she could take a seat herself.

Joey's hand fit perfectly in Buck's larger one, just like he'd remembered. The touch alone sent a zap of lightning through his arm and mercilessly went right for his heart. Thankfully they weren't standing just yet or Buck feared his knees would've given out under him. The warmth of Joey's hand had flashback's all the way back to when they first reunited on that one summer night. Joey's hand had been cold and naturally her fingers had gratefully taken his warm handing as he had helped her up from the cold, dirty ground.

Much like that night, Buck's heart was dancing to the beat of its own drum as he stood with Joey, putt several inches between them.

But, she hadn’t released his hold immediately either, and almost instinctively, he was preparing to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey.

Almost instinctively, he was prepared to walk to the table his toddler stood by, hand in hand with Joey. He wanted to caress her knuckles with his thumb and it took the remainder of his willpower not to, worried that she would pull her hand away like she had touched a flame and needed to protect her delicate skin.

"Yeah, that works. If i'm not home, you can always come by the firehouse. Everyone misses you. You’re a big part of the fire-family.” 

Ever since Jee's birthday party, Joey's presence was brought up every other shift Buck's, including the topic of whether he and Jo had reconciled their relationship. It always reminded the firefighter of just how complicated his life had gotten and the extent to which his life had changed. He wasn’t the only one affected by his newly found fatherhood.

Just like that, Joey’s hand was gone far too soon as she went to the table and sat, Buck hot on her trail and lifting his little girl onto her high cheer. He made sure to bring their coffee mugs to the table, before he settled in his seat with Emilia between himself and Joey.

Buck couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like, if this was any indication of how his mornings would go with his two girls. If Joey was a permanent part of his life as well as his household. Would she wake him up if his alarm didn’t go off, shoving him to remind him that Emilia would soon arrive? Would they take turns tucking her in at night when she was staying with them? Lost in a string of thought, Buck’s gaze flicked back and forth between his child and Joey.

[smalltownbeans]

evan-buckley118​:

“No-no, stay,” Buck didn’t care if he sounded overeager or desperate; the thought of Joey thinking that she had to go were a sack of bricks weighing down in his stomach. He could make it work. He would make it work. Emilia was a good kid, even if she was getting her way with Buck most of the time. He couldn’t say no to those pleading, ocean blue eyes and that sweet face peering up at him. A selfish part of him wanted to have them both with him, at the same time. Taylor was out of mind the second that her name was no longer the topic of discussion.

“I’ll make you that cup. D’ya want some waffles too? I think I made too many and I shouldn’t have her wired up on so much sugar if I plan to have her in bed at her bedtime. Learned that the hard way with Christopher.” Emilia wasn’t just staying for a couple of hours, Buck and Taylor agreed on her staying overnight and he would drop her off the following day around noon. Almost a full 24 hours with the little one. And Joey. Joey was there and he realized he hadn’t introduced Emilia to her properly.

Once their cups were placed on the window sill-and away from tiny fingers’ reach-he turned back to the two girls, using his coffee table as an art station. “Emilia, this is Joey. She’s…a- a good friend of daddy’s,” Buck’s eyes looked everywhere but at Joey, hoping that he didn’t catch a glimpse of pain or sadness from his choice of words. “She’s like family and she loves music and-and baking. She used to live here with me, before you were born.” He naturally knelt at the coffee table, a perfect view of both girls.

Emilia beamed up at Joey, a dimpled smile as she reached up and touched a few strands of her colored hair and that’s when Buck really allowed his eyes to wander over her. “Your hair, you colored it,” it was a statement drenched in the tone of a question and he too wanted to reach up and touch her rosey, gold hair. Get it together, Buck.

“Pretty. Can I have pink hair, daddy?” Emilia’s curiosity brought her attention back to Buck, excitement in her ivory features. “We’ll see, sweetheart. Maybe in a couple of years.” As fun as it sounded giving the kid pink hair, something tells Buck that Taylor wouldn’t be too thrilled with her dirty blonde locks being modified to match hers.

He seemed so eager… and it had Joey’s heart skipping silly little beats in her chest. It was almost like a flutter, a hint of something a little like hope. “O-Okay… Waffles would be amazing. Only if you have enough! Don’t worry if you don’t, I can grab something later.”

Bedtime, though… so that meant Emilia would be here all day. It wasn’t a problem, of course. After all, she was technically the intruder here, not Emilia, as strange as it was to think. It still felt odd being in this apartment and it no longer being her home. Her blanket wasn’t bunched up in the corner of the sofa from the nights she just couldn’t sleep until Buck got home, her slippers weren’t dotted about, one seemingly impossibly far away from the other. Her mug wasn’t on the counter waiting for coffee to fill it. Even a silly little magnet she’d bought from Thailand seemed to have disappeared, lost somewhere in the suddenness of her having to move out. Buck introducing her as his friend only sunk that uneasy, almost off-putting feeling deeper into her chest. Not his girlfriend. Just a friend. the family comment softened the blow somewhat, but it felt strange. Though, she could forgive him that in a lot of ways, not least because they technically were just friends at that moment, and because she doubted he wanted to complicate things in the little girl’s mind. It was all understandable and she would agree with a lot of it, but it still felt wrong. Yet, her carefully schooled expression stayed and she was turning her attention back on Emilia when that little hand seemed to catch onto a few strands of her hair.

“I… I did. Well, the hairdresser did,” Joey admitted, looking between her and Buck. Her cheeks felt a little warm, very possibly flushed, but she tried not to draw attention to it even if her chest was giving a little flutter. Did he like it? Did it truly matter if he didn’t? 

“I… I had blonde before, just like you,” She explained to Emilia, motioning to the little girl’s head, still a little uneasy with reaching out just yet. To say she was tiptoeing was putting it lightly, “But I think I might have a pink wig at home. Maybe I could bring it by for your Daddy next time I see him and you can try it on?” She looked up at Buck, then to Emilia and back again.

[evan-buckley118]

She’s got jokes, of course she did. It’s one of the things Buck loves about her. She was small in stature, but mighty and even witty with her remarks practically since day one. “It looks good. I-uh, it suits you.” For crying out loud, why was it so hard to not sound like a fool? Was it the way that Joey’s cheeks flushed a light crimson at his words? or perhaps the way that she looked away from him, letting him know that she too was just as out of luck with the drum line of her heart… The way that he was with his own. Could she hear the shudders of his breath as he stood up?

Buck’s long legs were taking him to the kitchen in strides as he answered with his back to the two in the living room. “I’ve got plenty here.” He setup two plates and a smaller bowl, making sure to cut the waffles into pieces appropriately sized for Emilia to pick up with her plastic fork. Once he set the plates on the table, he walked back over to the girls and stood, hands on his hips. “Breakfast is ready. You can leave this stuff here to come back to it.”

Of course, Emilia was up and at it, making her way to the table, disregarding a couple of markers in need of their caps. He took the time to return them to their rightful state and looked up at Joey. “I think that’s a great idea. The wig, I mean.” He clarified and for a split second, he allowed himself to linger in a knelt position, his gaze locked on Joey’s. He hadn’t been this close to her in what felt like forever and his heart yearned to take her hand and help her up. Hold her and kiss her hair even. But, he wasn’t sure if that would complicate things or make her run for the hills being unable to come to terms with the newest addition to the picture and what his life currently looked like.

Instead, he took it down a notch or two from the longing pedestal, held his hand out and offered it to her, as Emilia grunted behind him, unable to make it onto a chair without his help. “I’ll be right there, kiddo.”

[smalltownbeans]

evan-buckley118​:

His brain stopped working in those seconds-minutes? hours?-with the way that his name sounded coming from her lips, and all that he could do was hope that she wouldn’t make note of the batter on his sleeve from the waffles, or his godawful breath. Sure, she’d experienced it first hand when they started dating and even when they lived together, but for some reason and despite their past, Buck found himself feeling like it was the first time she found him in such a state.

Nevertheless, it clicked for him that she was probably confused and in need of a reassurance. “No-no, I forgot that I had daddy duty today. Come in, come in.” He stepped aside, mentally kicking himself for being so clumsy with his memory and hoping that he wasn’t making Joey uncomfortable.

It wasn’t the first time Joey was in the same vicinity as his kid, but it was the first time she would be around her for more than 10 minutes and Buck knew that her existence came with a reminder of his past and the things he’d done and just how much it had caused his entire life to change - his, Joey’s and Taylor’s for that matter.

He closed the door after Joey’s small frame cautiously took his offer and he blew out a breath he hadn’t realized was caged in his chest. “I’m just gonna grab my toothbrush real quick. But you can help yourself to some coffee and waffles, if you’d like.” Before Joey could answer, the towering man hauled over to the lower-level bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, lathering it with a stripe of red white and blue before he was sticking it in his mouth.

Once he was sure he’d gotten rid of the stench of the last 48 hours, drinks and his choice of buffalo plant-based tenders, he joined Joey and Emilia in the open layout of his kitchen slash living room. He took note of Emilia looking up at Joey with curious blue hues. He always said her eyes were like two stars, sparkling and taking the world around her in. “Hi,” the toddler waved and pointed a marker at Joey, a red streak on the back of Joey’s hand, product of Emilia waving the marker for Joey to take, an invitation from the child.

“Sorry about that. I completely forgot I had Emilia today. I-I hope that you don’t mind. Taylor’s working an overnight coverage of the grand opening of the new medical center. She’s trying to help rally up donations and help.” Again, Buck mentally kicked himself but this time it was for speaking of Taylor. He and Joey had been working on their friendship, but no matter how many times she said it was in the past, Buck knew it was still a sour topic for Joey.

“Did you want a cup of coffee?” He asked, and it was more-so his way of wondering if she was staying after all.

Though Joey wasn’t entirely sure whether Buck would want her to stay for long, she found herself accepting the invitation in regardless. Buck quickly running off, however, was a bit of a whirlwind she hadn’t expected. But… well, Joey was Joey and she was never going to be rude or mean even if it was a little awkward being left with the toddler. So she was smiling at her anyway, giving a little wave as they waited, even moving a little closer when she was showing her the markers and, apparently, handing her one. She took the red one gently just as Buck was coming back, looking up at him with a smile and a shake of her head.

“It’s okay, really. These things happen.” She responded. If the mention of Taylor bothered her, she didn’t let it show. She looked back at Emilia with a soft “Hi- Oh! You want me to draw?” She crouched a little to get down to the level of the paper, looking up at Buck at his offer for coffee, the mark on her hand not at all bothering her. She even set her bag aside, for now. 

“Coffee would be lovely. But… If you want me to go, I can go after that. I know time with this little one is precious, we can always rearrange for another time.” Again, any disappointment she would feel would be well hidden, tucked away to be dealt with away from this situation. As good as it felt to be around Buck, she was also painfully aware of how fragile it also felt in a lot of ways. 

Glancing at the paper again, then to Emilia, she swallowed down a nervous lump in her throat and shifted slightly to adjust her crouch, “What are we drawing?” She asked, tucking her hair from one shoulder over to the other to keep it out of the way. Again, she was looking up at Buck next, awaiting his answer. She didn’t want to leave, not really, though a small part of her wondered whether it would be for the best or even whether Taylor knew she would be there… If she was okay with Joey being here. 

[evan-buckley118]

“No-no, stay,” Buck didn’t care if he sounded overeager or desperate; the thought of Joey thinking that she had to go were a sack of bricks weighing down in his stomach. He could make it work. He would make it work. Emilia was a good kid, even if she was getting her way with Buck most of the time. He couldn’t say no to those pleading, ocean blue eyes and that sweet face peering up at him. A selfish part of him wanted to have them both with him, at the same time. Taylor was out of mind the second that her name was no longer the topic of discussion.

“I’ll make you that cup. D’ya want some waffles too? I think I made too many and I shouldn’t have her wired up on so much sugar if I plan to have her in bed at her bedtime. Learned that the hard way with Christopher.” Emilia wasn’t just staying for a couple of hours, Buck and Taylor agreed on her staying overnight and he would drop her off the following day around noon. Almost a full 24 hours with the little one. And Joey. Joey was there and he realized he hadn’t introduced Emilia to her properly.

Once their cups were placed on the window sill-and away from tiny fingers’ reach-he turned back to the two girls, using his coffee table as an art station. “Emilia, this is Joey. She’s…a- a good friend of daddy’s,” Buck’s eyes looked everywhere but at Joey, hoping that he didn’t catch a glimpse of pain or sadness from his choice of words. “She’s like family and she loves music and-and baking. She used to live here with me, before you were born.” He naturally knelt at the coffee table, a perfect view of both girls.

Emilia beamed up at Joey, a dimpled smile as she reached up and touched a few strands of her colored hair and that’s when Buck really allowed his eyes to wander over her. “Your hair, you colored it,” it was a statement drenched in the tone of a question and he too wanted to reach up and touch her rosey, gold hair. Get it together, Buck.

“Pretty. Can I have pink hair, daddy?” Emilia’s curiosity brought her attention back to Buck, excitement in her ivory features. “We’ll see, sweetheart. Maybe in a couple of years.” As fun as it sounded giving the kid pink hair, something tells Buck that Taylor wouldn’t be too thrilled with her dirty blonde locks being modified to match hers.

[evan-buckley118]

buckjo | double-booked @smalltownbeans

Buck was punctual, most of the time. He was most certainly punctual with the exchange schedule he and Taylor had come up with to divide Emilia’s responsibilities without the conflict of either of their unprecedented work fields. But, today hadn’t happened the way that the firefighter and his ex girlfriend had planned all those weeks ago.

He’d gotten in from a late shift and had barely made it to bed when his vision turned to a seducing darkness, his mattress being his mistress, and he was out cold. It was something that Taylor pointed out with a chuckle when she dropped their toddler off. “Didn’t even make it to sweats this time, Buckley.” She remarked for a moment before she was tapping a finger to their daughters nose and reminding her to be good for her dad.

And Taylor was right, he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet, but that made him scrunch his face momentarily and roll his eyes lightly, fighting back a smirk because he wouldn’t dare submit his ex and their daughter to his morning breath.

Buck had gotten as far as cooking up a couple of waffles and brewing a fresh cup of coffee, he was currently working on cutting some strawberries up, when he heard a couple of taps on the door. Had Taylor forgotten something? He still hadn’t brushed his teeth, not wanting to leave Emilia alone for too long, so instead of asking who it was, his instinct was to open the door.

“Joey,” he breathed out, and it dawned on him that he had invited her over for coffee and breakfast at his place. When her eyes took him in, he remembered that he stood clad in an apron, the same clothes and morning breath. He really had to brush his teeth.

[smalltownbeans]

evan-buckley118​:

buckjo | double-booked @smalltownbeans

Buck was punctual, most of the time. He was most certainly punctual with the exchange schedule he and Taylor had come up with to divide Emilia’s responsibilities without the conflict of either of their unprecedented work fields. But, today hadn’t happened the way that the firefighter and his ex girlfriend had planned all those weeks ago.

He’d gotten in from a late shift and had barely made it to bed when his vision turned to a seducing darkness, his mattress being his mistress, and he was out cold. It was something that Taylor pointed out with a chuckle when she dropped their toddler off. “Didn’t even make it to sweats this time, Buckley.” She remarked for a moment before she was tapping a finger to their daughters nose and reminding her to be good for her dad.

And Taylor was right, he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet, but that made him scrunch his face momentarily and roll his eyes lightly, fighting back a smirk because he wouldn’t dare submit his ex and their daughter to his morning breath.

Buck had gotten as far as cooking up a couple of waffles and brewing a fresh cup of coffee, he was currently working on cutting some strawberries up, when he heard a couple of taps on the door. Had Taylor forgotten something? He still hadn’t brushed his teeth, not wanting to leave Emilia alone for too long, so instead of asking who it was, his instinct was to open the door.

“Joey,” he breathed out, and it dawned on him that he had invited her over for coffee and breakfast at his place. When her eyes took him in, he remembered that he stood clad in an apron, the same clothes and morning breath. He really had to brush his teeth.

Was Joey functioning on barely three hours of sleep? Maybe. Had she spent longer than that trying to find something to wear and to make herself look presentable? Possibly. Was it all because she was a weird mixture of worried and excited and just plain nervous? Absolutely. 

She wasn’t sure when in their separation, or even their reuniting, she’d started to feel quite as nervous and giddy as she did when they first met, but it had happened and she found herself a little shaky as she hopped out of Noa’s car and walked up to Buck’s apartment. She would’ve driven herself if she’d trusted herself to focus on the road enough. But that was all thoughts for the past when she stopped in front of the door, knocked, and it was opening just moments later. 

Buck in the state he was wasn’t an unusual sight for her - they’d lived together after all - but something about seeing it like this had her breath catching and butterflies taking flight in her stomach. God, she missed it... Even in her newly dyed hair and a painstakingly picked outfit, she desperately missed mornings where they’d walk around in pyjamas or whatever clothes they’d collapsed in and just cook or mess around or just drink coffee silently but with each others company... It felt like a world away, but there was an inkling of hope that maybe they could have it again. 

“Evan, hi...” She started with a breath, her lips tugging into a smile - only to falter when she heard what sounded like a toddler babbling away. Emilia? Had she gotten the day wrong? Or had Buck mentioned it and she forgot? She blinked, peeking around him briefly for a moment, before looking back at him, “I... I....” She began, trying to find words that didn’t sound wrong. She didn’t want him to believe even for a second that his daughter was ever going to be a problem, or that she ever expected him to cancel other plans for her... She just also knew that they hadn’t exactly talked about her meeting Emilia like this. “Did I get the wrong day?” 

[evan-buckley118]

His brain stopped working in those seconds-minutes? hours?-with the way that his name sounded coming from her lips, and all that he could do was hope that she wouldn’t make note of the batter on his sleeve from the waffles, or his godawful breath. Sure, she’d experienced it first hand when they started dating and even when they lived together, but for some reason and despite their past, Buck found himself feeling like it was the first time she found him in such a state.

Nevertheless, it clicked for him that she was probably confused and in need of a reassurance. “No-no, I forgot that I had daddy duty today. Come in, come in.” He stepped aside, mentally kicking himself for being so clumsy with his memory and hoping that he wasn’t making Joey uncomfortable.

It wasn’t the first time Joey was in the same vicinity as his kid, but it was the first time she would be around her for more than 10 minutes and Buck knew that her existence came with a reminder of his past and the things he’d done and just how much it had caused his entire life to change - his, Joey’s and Taylor’s for that matter.

He closed the door after Joey’s small frame cautiously took his offer and he blew out a breath he hadn’t realized was caged in his chest. “I’m just gonna grab my toothbrush real quick. But you can help yourself to some coffee and waffles, if you’d like.” Before Joey could answer, the towering man hauled over to the lower-level bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, lathering it with a stripe of red white and blue before he was sticking it in his mouth.

Once he was sure he’d gotten rid of the stench of the last 48 hours, drinks and his choice of buffalo plant-based tenders, he joined Joey and Emilia in the open layout of his kitchen slash living room. He took note of Emilia looking up at Joey with curious blue hues. He always said her eyes were like two stars, sparkling and taking the world around her in. “Hi,” the toddler waved and pointed a marker at Joey, a red streak on the back of Joey’s hand, product of Emilia waving the marker for Joey to take, an invitation from the child.

“Sorry about that. I completely forgot I had Emilia today. I-I hope that you don’t mind. Taylor’s working an overnight coverage of the grand opening of the new medical center. She’s trying to help rally up donations and help.” Again, Buck mentally kicked himself but this time it was for speaking of Taylor. He and Joey had been working on their friendship, but no matter how many times she said it was in the past, Buck knew it was still a sour topic for Joey.

“Did you want a cup of coffee?” He asked, and it was more-so his way of wondering if she was staying after all.

[evan-buckley118]

buckjo | double-booked @smalltownbeans

Buck was punctual, most of the time. He was most certainly punctual with the exchange schedule he and Taylor had come up with to divide Emilia’s responsibilities without the conflict of either of their unprecedented work fields. But, today hadn’t happened the way that the firefighter and his ex girlfriend had planned all those weeks ago.

He’d gotten in from a late shift and had barely made it to bed when his vision turned to a seducing darkness, his mattress being his mistress, and he was out cold. It was something that Taylor pointed out with a chuckle when she dropped their toddler off. “Didn’t even make it to sweats this time, Buckley.” She remarked for a moment before she was tapping a finger to their daughters nose and reminding her to be good for her dad.

And Taylor was right, he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet, but that made him scrunch his face momentarily and roll his eyes lightly, fighting back a smirk because he wouldn’t dare submit his ex and their daughter to his morning breath.

Buck had gotten as far as cooking up a couple of waffles and brewing a fresh cup of coffee, he was currently working on cutting some strawberries up, when he heard a couple of taps on the door. Had Taylor forgotten something? He still hadn’t brushed his teeth, not wanting to leave Emilia alone for too long, so instead of asking who it was, his instinct was to open the door.

“Joey,” he breathed out, and it dawned on him that he had invited her over for coffee and breakfast at his place. When her eyes took him in, he remembered that he stood clad in an apron, the same clothes and morning breath. He really had to brush his teeth.

[evan-buckley118]

kayroleplays​:

"we grow up with these adults who are supposed to care for us and sometimes they just...don't." Cass said, a sad look on her face. "And it definitely has a long lasting impact on us." She listened to his answer, and couldn't help the grin that formed on her face. "Nice, a fellow troublemaker! I was also a little rowdy in college. Well, more than a little. But still."

"it just takes a bit. Eventually, you find your people. Your real family - blood or not - and you hold onto them. You hold onto them tight. That little voice in your head? The one telling you you're going to screw up? It'll go away eventually. You'll come to love yourself the way your people love you." Despite this sounding like a very generic speech, it was actually super personal. Cass had found her people. In her mom and her siblings and their countless dogs (her mom kind of had a tendency to adopt on sight. Kind of like Batman.)

"I majored in catering for two years before moving to psychology. I realized the messiness of food really put me off. Plus, I am a terrible cook." She spun the conversation around, so it wouldn't feel like a one sided thing. He wasn't a specimen on display for observation here. This was a two sided conversation.

it peaked buck’s interest that she spoke so naturally about the situation, as if she understood it personally. he chuckled with her own confessional and experience in college. “i definitely caused some chaos and set a dent in my tuition a few times. parties, a motorcycle.” he spoke of his mischief nonchalantly.

her next thought had him fully centered and immediately thinking of his fire family. “that’s me with the 118 now. they’re not my biological family, but do feel more like family to me than my parents ever were. cap in particular; he’s more than just my captain. he’s my mentor and the closest thing i’ve known to a father. and then there’s hen, who’s like an older sister.”

people never truly stuck around buck, that was until he met the 118, of course. 

[evan-buckley118]

cheatcodcs​:

⟨    open  to  anyone  .    ⟩

‘  i’m  only  going  to  ask  you  this  one  time  and  don't  you  dare  lie  to  me  . ‘

he swallowed roughly because, he knew where this was going. there was no way out of this one. “it’s-it’s not what you think- it meant nothing to me. i was just drunk a-and as soon as i realized what had happened, i was on my way home.”

[evan-buckley118]

smalltownbeans​: 

Joey had known Buck was tipsy, that much had been obvious at the party but the longer the drive had progressed, the more she’d realised just how drunk he was. While she trusted him with every bone in her body to not be anything but a pleasant drunk, it was the fact that he’d apparently been that intoxicated when their reconciliation happened that made her a little uneasy. Had he even meant it? Was it all just a drunken, emotional spurt of words and pleas that Joey had fallen for too fast? Would he wake in the morning and not remember a word of it, or regret ever saying it? They were all possibilities but even as he was handing her his keys and apparently moments away from peeing himself, she still had a hope that he’d meant the words anyway. 

“Oh… Oh god, right, yeah. On it, on it.” She rushed out, clambering out of the car quickly to get to the front door for him. She could come back down for his wallet and phone and bring them back up after… The bathroom, apparently, was the priority. 

She made quick work of the door, of course. It was practically muscle memory, as was her little shuffle back to him to usher him a little faster through the hallways up to his apartment. Carefully, of course, and trying to keep him on a straight path, but ushered all the same. “Here, we’re here. Let me just…” Another quick turn of a key and she was opening up his apartment door for him, stepping in almost naturally to hold it for him. It was only once in there that she really stopped and realised that… she hadn’t technically been invited in. That really, she definitely should still be on the doorstep. This wasn’t her home anymore. But that was a thought for another time. 

The walk, though it was a journey of foot placement and steadying for balance, was a blur and an unclear memory once they made it into the apartment. He made quick of jogging up the stairs, miraculously not tripping or losing his shoe between the open steps.

The bathroom was a godsend and he was relieved to have emptied his bladder. He washed his hands and looked at the hand wash that belonged to Emilia. The pink bottle with glitter sat beside his aftershave and he knew that it belonged there, it was natural to him now to find small reminders of his kid around the apartment.

Like her toothbrush. It was an electric toothbrush that played a minute’s worth of baby shark, meant to keep her engaged and undergo a proper hygienic cleaning every time she brushed up. It was genius, if you asked Buck. He had one similar that would play a monologue from Shrek, a monologue he knew by heart from the many times the sound waves floated to his ears while brushing.

He knew that getting Emilia a toothbrush with the same mechanics would help motivate her to brush her teeth at least twice a day.

When he reached the lower level of the loft, he found Joey standing in the kitchen space. “Can you see the glitter? I used Emilia’s soap and it’s got specs of red glitter in it. It smells like cherry,” Buck grinned, remembering how much the little girl loved cherry scented anything. He wondered where she got such an affinity for the fruit.

His palms were faced upward when he looked up at Joey, instinctively lifting them to cup her cheeks.

[evan-buckley118]

cont from here. @smalltownbeans​

Buck gave Joey a nod of confirmation before his head was against the headrest of his seat. He swore that he closed his eyes for one second and Joey was waking him up, her voice soft and sweet, letting him know they had arrived. He opened his eyes, had she gotten his address right? Were they really already home? After several seconds of his vision focusing, he saw the familiar parking lot and knew that they had made it home. 

“How did we get here so fast?” He asked as he leaned his body towards his door, reaching into his pants pocket, fishing for his keys. He pulled his wallet out instead, then his phone-absentmindedly putting them on the arm rest-and then his keys. He looped the keyring over his index finger and offered the keys to Joey. 

“Can you open the door? I don’t think I can.” His mind was fuzzy, he felt light and airy and he knew he’d either lose the keys, or struggle to steady his hands enough to unlock the door. The keys were placed on Joey’s lap and he stepped out of the car without reaching for his phone or his wallet. They were out of sight, out of mind. 

Wow, he had to pee badly. He couldn’t remember how many drinks he’d had, and he also couldn’t remember whether he had used to the bathroom at Maddie’s place. But he had to go, and fast. 

“Please hurry, I have to run to the bathroom,” the corners of his mouth turned downward, a frown taking over as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

[evan-buckley118]

smalltownbeans​:

It was amazing what the smallest touch of a hand could do, lulling Joey into a sense of comfort just with the feel of his hand in hers. She knew it was a simple movement, just a way to keep them connected in some way but to her, it was almost like a promise of the future she’d thought had been ripped away.. That maybe they could try this together, try and make it work again. That he was there and so was she and together they could do it. 

“Do… Do you want to figure it out now? Where we are, I mean?” She offered, looking to their hands, her own giving a light squeeze, “Unless you want to get back to the party, we can always get coffee when you’re next off work and free…”

“As for Emilia… I would love to meet her, I just… I didn’t want to overstep, or for Taylor to think I was trying to insert myself into her life or something like that,” Joey tried to explain, biting her lip briefly after and wishing for all she had that she could word things better. She supposed that words had never really been her strong suit… but hopefully Buck understood. She wasn’t a mother, she could only imagine how she would feel in the opposite situation but she didn’t know Taylor well, only what she’d seen in the past so… this was foreign territory for her.

Buck had had his few drinks and as much as he wanted to be in her presence for hours more, he also knew that he had to have some sort of self-control. In order for them to make this right, for him to do the right thing, he had to let her go for the night. Even if he truly didn’t want to. 

“I, uh, think I need to head home. I’ve had a few drinks and I should get some sleep. Do you-do you think you can drop me off? I really shouldn’t be behind the wheel tonight.” His gaze was hopeful despite the buzz creeping in from all of the liquor he’d consumed since the very first beer Albert had handed him. He didn’t intend to reach this state, but with everything that had taken place, the tension— even if only in his head— he might’ve let that go to his head. 

All that he wanted to do now was go home, kick off his shoes, and lie down somewhere. 

[evan-buckley118]

smalltownbeans​:

Even after all this time, everything they’d been through and more, Buck still knew every single weak point she had. He knew her body better than she did some days, always finding the right spots to press or touch or kiss or hold to ease her into whatever state they were aiming for - calm, excitement, relaxation, intimacy… He knew how to get here there and almost every time, was successful. 

What he was aiming for in that moment was still partially a mystery but as he pulled her hips back against him and ran his hand down to her hair, she had her suspicions about what he was trying to do. Suspicions that were confirmed in the slight roughness to his voice, the way his hand held her, the slight change in his breathing… 

“Better… this feels better,” Joey exhaled, voice barely carried on the breath that slipped free as she pressed back just slightly. It was a tease of a movement, just barely enough to be noticeable but if Buck was even slightly near where she was in terms of state, he’d definitely notice. “How are you feeling, Mr Yoga god?” 

And wasn’t that just typical Joey? Cracking teases and jokes even in this kind of position, where she was vulnerable to him in almost every way. She tilted her head to send a slight smirk back in his direction, arching just slightly more to press back further.

Joey’s body was responding - after all this time she still responded to his touch. They weren’t being intimate in the eyes of a witness, but it was sensual enough to cause his heartbeat to pick up its pace with every exhale he heard from Joey. He didn’t have to see her face to know that her lips were probably puckered as she released the tension with a breath, with every touch. He also knew that the vein on her temple was most likely protruding and her cheeks had to be the slightest crimson shade as she was fair in color to begin with.

All of the was confirmed as she tucked her face into her shoulder, sending him that chilling smirk—oh that smirk—that caused his own hitched exhale, concealed with an all-knowing chuckle. 

This had been intended as a lesson to Joey, but it wasn’t staying on that path of innocence. Not where it was now at least. “I’m feeling...” he trailed off, his head tilting so that his gaze fell on her rear-end, pressed up against the front of his shorts. “Pretty great from here. Keep calling me that, and this position will be put to use in a different scenario,” he raised his eyebrows, his head tilting the slightest bit, challenging her. 

[inanausomewhere]

Happiness Looks Great On Buck — 9-1-1: ‘Panic’

[evan-buckley118]

smalltownbeans​:

Communication…. it was such a simple word, really, and yet somehow it was the one thing that seemed to be their downfall when things got tough. Firstly, when she’d shut him out after her parents died, and now, after things had gotten difficult for Buck. And yet, it was going to have to be the core of everything now, if they wanted this to work. If they wanted to be stronger than before, if they wanted to navigate Emilia and Taylor and life and how fucked up the world was now… They needed to communicate. 

But for that moment, as she looked over at Buck sat there in her passenger seat, she couldn’t help but want to skip the rest of the communication for now and just… exist with him for a while. This was the first time, really, that they’d had a moment to really talk since the coffee shop and even then, it had been tense… far too tense. But his apology, his words…. it had her exhaling a soft, relieved and almost giddy breath, a small, slightly sad smile tugging at her lips. 

“I know. It’s- It’s okay. Or, I mean it’s not… It wasn’t okay. But it can be. We’ll work it out, we’ll… find a way to do this, right?” Her eyes searched for his lighter ones, looking for that reassurance. Because apologies were one thing, but actually making it work… things had changed so much, “I… I do think we should ease into it, though. Not take it slow exactly but just… we need to work out how all of this is going to work, right? Who we are with… with everything else now in place. And… and where you want me to stand. Whether you want me to, y’know, not be around when Emilia is, things like that…”

Buck felt a sudden urge to reach over to her and hold her hand. To just... feel her. Touch was definitely one of his strongest forms of communication, if he ever could recall getting it right. When words failed him, a kiss to the forehead, a stroke of hair, holding hands - it did what he and words couldn’t for him. And so he extended his arm out, effortlessly, getting ahold of one of her hands. 

“We’ll figure this out. We always do.” His gaze connected with hers, eyes locked on her deep brown, hopeful, hues. “One step at a time, one day at a time,” he assured her, squeezing her hand gently. “I guess we should figure out where we are, get to where we want to be and work out the details when Emilia is around. Taylor obviously knows that we have reconnected. She has no problem with you, not-not that she should. She’s just as new to this as you are, as I am. Keeping Emilia safe is our main priority. Everything else can be ironed out.” 

Buck knew that eventually, if all went well with him and Joey, she would meet Emilia and maybe one day, some day, Taylor and Joey could even be in the same room without awkward tension. But it would take one moment at a time. And right now, he was sure that neither one of them was ready. Himself included. But that had to be normal, right? 

“I would like it if some day soon, you were able to meet her. She’s a great kid, a sweetheart. And... I don’t know, it would just mean a lot to me.” He found himself rubbing his thumb over her skin, his gaze falling to their hands.

[smalltownbeans]

evan-buckley118​:

cont. from here. | Yoga? 

Buck was coming home from a much needed run, airpods in his ears and phone tucked into his running sleeve. He had one thing on his mind: a shower. He was hot and sticky from his run and just wanted to refresh himself before watching a movie with Joey. 

When he stepped into the loft, he didn’t expect to see that. He pulled his airpods out and put them on the counter as he chuckled, tilting his head to have a better look at the position. “Uh, yeah. I see that.” He commented with a breathy chuckle, still pretty run-down from the cardio workout. 

That didn’t stop him from making his way over to Joey and standing behind her, hands falling into the pockets of his basket-ball shorts. “How’s doggie treating you?” He tilted his head the other way, as if that would give him a different angle from the previous tilt. “I think you need a little help,” he smirked and removed his hands from his pockets to place them on her hips. 

“If you continue how you are, you’re going to pull a back muscle and find yourself painfully stuck.” He knew a thing or two about this position and yoga from past experiences. 

Joey was only human, a human who just so happened to be highly attracted to the man looking at her from behind, so could anyone really blame her for the level of pink her cheeks were flushing when his hands found her hips? Or the fact that maybe she’d arched her back just a little more when she’d realised he was looking? Whether they would or not, it had happened and Joey was going to deny it to the grave. 

For now, she was tilting her head to look back at him, a quirked brow and a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. She could brush the blush off as being because of her position later, or if Buck even asked but for now, she was snorting, “Oh please, all-knowing and all-powerful Yoga god, do tell me how on earth this position can be so damn complicated and how I’m doing it wrong?” 

Of course, Joey knew perfectly well that she was 99% likely to get these poses wrong in some way. She was going off of images, YouTube videos at best, and… well. If Buck knew more then maybe she could take full advantage of that fact… just that fact! Totally just that fact.

[evan-buckley118]

Buck’s thumb applied a light amount of pressure to the points he knew would effect her most. He knew precisely where to touch, how to touch. Of course, he would have some fun with Joey in this position. After-all, it wasn’t every day that he found her in such positions outside of the bedroom.

She reacted almost immediately, arching her back, causing her rear to leaning against his groin. “Choose your words wisely,” he grinned, taking a step closer so that he was practically holding her up against his front. “If you arch your back the wrong way, you’ll pull a muscle. If you don’t arch enough, this pose will be ineffective and you’ll just be breaking a sweat with no results.”

His fingers spread and he moved one hand down the center of her back, following the direction of her spine until it reached her neck. “Your spine should align with your shoulders,” his voice was calm, yet husk. “You should feel.. pressure.” His fingers had admittedly gone too far, reaching her hair with a smirk before he brought his hand halfway down her spine again. His other hand had made its way over to her abdomen, holding her steady.

“That’s the right way to do the doggie pose. How are you feeling?” He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t affected by this position and how Joey’s rear rubbed against him as he held her. The way that her breathing pattern and that hitch made his heart race, lips parting so that his tongue could dart out in concentration as he raised his tainted eyebrow.

[evan-buckley118]

smalltownbeans​:

Joey hadn’t been sure what to expect when it came to the talk, but she knew it needed to happen. Things were complicated now, there was far more to all of this than just… what either of them wanted. Because as much as she hated it, Taylor was a part of her life now if she wanted her life to also involve Buck, for however long he’d stick around for. Taking a deep breath, she rested her hands on the wheel for a moment, her mind ticking over everything he said, trying to work out her own thoughts in the process. 

“I-I love you, and you know that,” She started, releasing her grip on the wheel to run her fingers back through her hair instead, “I always have and probably always will and so… I’m probably going to keep coming back. What that means is… what I need from you is to… to not rely on that. I understand she’s here now, there’s nothing I can do about it… but I just.” Joey took a breath, shifting in her seat to turn towards him slightly, “For me, it seemed like things went from us against the world to… to… the world circling around you, Taylor and Emilia and I… I was just an inconvenience on the side. Even now I’m scared I’ll just be the nice thing to have on the side so I-I need that to not be the case. Or if it is, if that’s all we’ll ever be now, I need you to be honest with me,”

Joey took another deep breath, biting down on her lips for a moment to try and stop herself from saying anything worse. But… she couldn’t play pretend this time. She couldn’t act like she was completely okay with how things had been before, until Buck had ultimately ended things. This time, she had to be honest, she had to protect herself as well as them… “As for the pushing me away, I… I understood. I still sort of do but I… Will you promise me that if you start to think that maybe there isn’t a place for us again, you’ll tell me as soon as you think it? Whatever the reason, whether it’s a fleeting thought o-or… or you and Taylor try to give the family thing a-a go…” as much as it pained her to say “I need you to tell me, to talk to me…”

Buck had no more fight, no more excuse. He... ran. And she was right. And he came to regret the way that he handled things almost immediately after. It took some time to see that in shutting down the way that he did, he had shut out one of the most important people in his life - his biggest supporter even. He was consumed in his fears and worries and he had gotten too ahead of himself. 

Nevertheless, in their time apart despite where they would be tomorrow, he knew that he didn’t need to run. He had all the support that he needed if he stayed put. 

That and... he realized just how betrayed Joey felt. Of course she had felt left out and forgotten. That thought alone felt like a tight fist around his heart and his neck, knowing that she felt so alone and so confused. He knew the feeling all too well. From his parents, firsthand, to passing friends and people around him he felt he couldn’t keep around. The thoughts and unanswered questions about whether it was him who did something to push them away, to make them love him less. He knew that feeling and it sucked knowing that he made Joey, of all people, feel this too. 

The moment that Joey turned to him, he lifted one hand to the bar above his head, his head tilting somberly in her direction as he watched her change of position and took in her body language. “I never meant to make you feel like a replaceable prop and I am so sorry for causing that. You are so much more than just the girl that I fell in love with. You are my first love and the one that i’ll love for the rest of my life. You changed my life since that first day that we met. I was just too caught up in my trauma. And i’m truly sorry, Joey. I promise that no matter what happens between us, I will communicate how I feel. Regardless of how hard the conversations may be.”

He meant every word. He needed to work on his communication, he knew that now. And more so, she confirmed it for him. 

[evan-buckley118]

// replies coming later today! stepping out for a couple of hours. 

[evan-buckley118]

Disregard. I will be staying home.