Downs of life
In life we often face many trials and tribulations, some are much harder than others. Letting go of someone you truly love because you see that your life causes them stress. Seeing that no matter how much you love them your drama, hardships, whatever causes them pain because they cannot do anything about it. Letting someone go so you no longer cause them pain can be one of the most selfless action you could possible do for them. But for some it might just be the most selfish.
I met this girl on a dating app. We hit it off and we were really into eachother. Weeks went by and everything was good. But the closer it got to my late brothers birthday the more I distanced myself. I spiraled deep into depression. Thought of self harm because my brother was my best friend. And i quit talking to her all together. I felt i wasnt healthy for her in this state and she deserved better. Weeks went by and soon months. I finally was able to climb from the hole i was buried in. But the damage was done. Because i cut her out with out saying a single word I betrayed her trust.
Eventually we started talking again and everything was looking up. We were talking and laughing. We were just like two peas in a pod. Finally the question popped up of what happen then. What caused me to go ghost and disappear. Finally someone wanted to hear what I had to say. I told her about my brother and how I blamed myself for his death. I cried. Something I handed truly done since I buried him all those years ago. I trusted her with my heart and soul. I was in love again.
Awhile goes by and I would tell her everything. What was going on with the ex and the kids. We weren't even dating but it sure felt like it. The stories where the bad out weighed the good. At this point both of us were at rock bottom. Both financially support our kids and exs because we didnt have the best of living conditions. Finally one day the negative weighed too much on both of us and we couldn't do it anymore. Pur lives were mixing too much too soon. And I could see that my life and its complexity was way too much on her plate. I withdrew once again.
A few weeks go by and she sends me a text. I look and I'm pissed. How can you ask such a question. "Are we good?"
I responded the only way I knew how... yeah
More time passes and all I can do is think about her. Yeah I still love her but I don't want to be that burden to her.
She seems happy now and that's all I can literally ask for!