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TRANSCRIPT: Terzo talking about the Nameless Ghouls during "If You Have Ghosts" (acoustic version) interlude 🎸🎸🎸

this is a compilation of Papa III's speeches after the guitar solo in If You Have Ghosts. these speeches are notable for being the source of many popular clips where Terzo says a bunch of horny stuff about Omega, Alpha, and Water. he also introduces Earth and Air before the song starts, but i did not include those parts.

here are some highlights / notes:

All that horny stuff Terzo says about the Ghouls was him joking about things he allegedly heard the audience saying.

Omega was originally just called Aether / Quintessence, and Alpha was originally just called Fire. 'Omega' and 'Alpha' were nicknames given to them by fans, and Terzo was initially confused by those nicknames because he did not call them that.

Terzo describes Alpha receiving his nickname as him being christened at one concert and 'un-christened' at a different concert 😂

Terzo's nicknames for Omega include 'Mister Quintessence' and 'The Giant from Gistad', referencing Omega's (real-life) place of origin, Gistad, a locality outside Linköping.

Terzo called Water 'A Nameless Ghoul Called Water' as if it was Water's full name, which is very funny.

Terzo accidentally called Alpha 'Omega' in Indianapolis and then awkwardly pretended like he didn't just do that.

Terzo seemed to think that 'stage right' and 'stage left' was a difficult concept for the audience to understand.

Terzo repeatedly notes that Water was in fact the best six-string guitar player in the band, despite his role as the bassist.

TF would frequently get mixed up about the timeline / whichcharacter he was playing at what time

this transcript includes 21 concerts and ended up being over 7k words, so the full text of this post is under a cut:

PAPA EMERITUS III: Magnifique! Yes! Now what? These guys are Nameless, right? That's how it all started. 'A Nameless Ghoul.' Then people picked up on the fact that they had little things on them, on their clothes. Okay! So uh, then it ended up being that they picked up on the fact that they had been given the elements. You know, you remember Earth and air? But this wasn't enough. Apparently, two of the guys, they have other symbols, too. Especially the girls saw that, because after a while the girls had their favorite ghouls and they wanted to be Ghoulettes for their favorite Ghoul. So let me introduce to you the Nameless Ghoul who just did a solo for you. All of a sudden, we can hear the girls in the front over here saying "Alpha… Alpha!" Ladies and genitals, Alpha! 'A Nameless Ghoul', my ass! What we got here in the middle is a curiosity, I tell you that. He happens to play the guitar! Normally you see him fingering the bass. And I know you wish you was the one he was doing it to, right? Not tonight. Especially not now, because he's doing the axe right now. Because you see, every day we get it smeared in our face that out of all the guitar players in the band, he just happened to be the best fucking guitar player in the band. So please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Water! About here, geographically, there are usually girls standing, looking this way. You see stomps. So usually I hear from here, this part, "Omega... Omega…" Also quite a good guitar player. Please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Omega! So there you have it! Now you have Ghost. We are Ghost. How 'bout that? Eh? Rouen, France (February 5, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Right on! It is... Alright. The guy who just did a very good solo– technically, he's referred to as 'Fire'. [APPLAUSE] Don't clap too much yet. That was a big one. It just so happens that on his other guitar, there's a little symbol. And fans –especially female fans– paid attention. So we were out touring. All of a sudden, from this side there were voices: "Alpha… Alpha… Alpha!" the girls screamed out. So ladies and gentlemen, he became 'Alpha'! Not bad! Now this fellow. Usually, he plays –he fingers– the bass. [AUDIENCE: IT'S SEXY AS FUCK!] Yeah! And he does so very good. Now ladies, if you find yourself at the show feeling your bottom, like, moving like this, it's because of the bass and the drums. That's where it feels, y'know– here. He's also one hell of a guitar player, to the annoyance of all of us. Please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Water! Over the years, on my right, here, I started hearing another word that– I knew the word,but I didn't truly know the meaning of it until I heard it loud and clear from female voices: "Omega… Omega! I want you, Omega! I want to be your Ghoulette, Omega!" And for me, I was like, eh? Omega? I don't know you as 'Omega', but fine. On the axe here, please give it up for Omega! La Rochelle, France (February 6, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Right on! He's a pretty able guitar player, isn't he? Yes… Bon, bon! Let me tell you a little story. Obviously, the band is supposed to be nameless. For some fucking reason, I have a name– there was no way around that. But first off, it was 'a Nameless ghoul, a Nameless Ghoul, a Nameless Ghoul, a Nameless Ghoul', and so forth. You had to have something, so they all were wearing signs: Earth, Air, et cetera. So there was this guy who played guitar. His name was Fire. But he also had a little sign on his guitar. And once we had been on tour for a while and we were starting to get a little bit popular, so there were peoples on our shows and there was a lot of girls on the shows. You can hear from that corner there: "Alpha! Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha!" So apparently, here we have a Nameless Ghoul named Alpha! You see… usually this guy in the middle here fingers the bass, the four-stringed instrument. That is the thing that you feel in your crotch and in your ass when we play. You know the boogie-woogie? Bass. That's the trick. But see, this is not a fucking bass he's handling right now. It's a guitar. It just so turned out –he likes to point out every day– he sort of smears it in the faces of everyone, how fucking good of a guitar player he is, too. Not only does he make the asses move, he also plays the guitar like a devil! Please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Water! Around the same time when we heard "Alpha! Alpha!" sounds from over there, amongst the stomping, which I heard, obviously, I also noticed something else from that corner: "Omega… Omega! Omega…" Eh? Alright. It was the women calling out: Omega… Stomp me, Omega! Treat me like you treat your guitar." So he did. Please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Omega! So there you have it: Ghost. We are Ghost. Fantôme! Grenoble, France (February 8, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Word! What a good solo, right? Yeah. I'm uh... I'm gonna stop fiddling with my pants now. You know we started with the idea of being completely nameless. You know… it was such a good idea on paper. It didnt fucking work at all. It didn't go into people's psyche that you can have something that you cannot name. Okay. Let's have names. Okay so we had Earth and Air. That's a good start. So, y'know, we came up with, like, 'Fire'. Fire! That's good. So everybody got their little element, right. It makes things easier. You can sign something– if someone wants your autograph you can just like, [DRAWS A TRIANGLE IN THE AIR]. Good. Autograph. But then uh, this person on stage that I'm referring to also had a little symbol on his guitar. So he's standing here in the middle, most of the time, and I was standing there and I was thrusting and I was dancing and ehhh and I hear, over here: "Alpha…" Eh? It was the ladies in the front, around here, saying "Alpha.. I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha. Alpha…" So let me introduce to you… a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! Now… the tormentor of the bass… busy fingering, for one-and-a-half hour every night, the bass. The bass is the four-stringed instrument that makes your ass move, together with the drums. But it is a very, very important tool if you want people to dance– it's the bass. if you want to be a guitarist that's cool but the bass. and the drummer… That's it! This bass player happen to be also a very very good guitar player, to the annoyance of everyone else. That's why he's playing the guitar right now, but he's holding back because he's a tormentor of the six-string too. Ladies and gentlemen, a Nameless Ghoul named Water! Around the same time that I was standing there in the middle, I was doing my mating dance, singing all female-like, being a little bit too shorter than people thought as soon as I took my hat off– thank you very much, I also noticed another sound from that part of the audience: "Omega…" Eh? What? What, what, what, what? What was that? That was the ladies here in the front. They were saying what? [AUDIENCE: OMEGA!] Yes. And they were flashing and they were sweating profusely, in… in heat! and they were flashing it for… Omega! Bordeaux, France (February 9, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Good solo, eh? You might know… that we are –or let's say they are– supposed to be nameless. But uh, you know, why make things difficult? Maybe they can have signs so they have something to sign if someone wants an autograph. Okay. Alright, let's do that sounds like an interesting idea. So obviously, y'all already know Earth and Air. Simple triangles. So does the other guys have symbols too, so they can sign shit. But the guitar players here on the sides, they also had small sign– things on their guitars. And y'know, we have Fire… And that was good. But I was standing here in the middle doing my charade. I was dancing, I was singing, I thought I had it going. And I heard an occasional "Papa! Papa!" But I heard from over here, the girls whispering "Alpha… Alpha… I wanna be yours, Alpha. Make me your Ghoulette!" Okay! So uh… here he is– a Nameless Ghoul named Alpha! Are you familiar with the bass? It's four strings. the thing that you finger.. you can pick it too but if you finger it it feels even better. The bass is the thing that makes your ass move. That is the part you feel. No rock and roll without the bass. Here we got a bass player. He's doing a really good fingering on it. But it just so happens that he's even better at playing guitar, as you can see. Yes. Ladies and gentlemen give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Water! About the time when I was standing here doing my mating dance, I thought I had everything and I was expecting someone to yell "Papa!" I hear from over here… something different: "Omega… Omega… I want to be yours, Omega! Omega! Omega man!" Was surprised! Eh? Omega. So here you have it: a Nameless ghoul named Omega! There you have it. Now you have Ghost. We are Ghost. Thank you. Nimes, France (February 10, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: So we started out as a nameless band, except for myself, who was given a name. We thought that everything would be okay, but we came up with something that would not work very well, and that was, 'what if they ask for an autograph?' OK, well maybe every member of the band can be the elements, yeah that makes sense, that's smart! Uh-huh. OK, so you've met Earth and Air yeah? So the other ones gotta be similar, right? Fire, yes? Easy. But the little thing is that Mister Fire here had a little 'A' correlating with something else on the stage. One night, a little bit into our career, we were getting a little popular. Girls liked us. There were many girls over here. And I was doing my dance and I was flirting and I was thrusting and I [THRUSTING NOISES]. I was doing everything I could and then I heard over here: "Alpha… Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha!" Alpha? Alright. What happened to Mister Fire? So now, ladies and gentlemen, on the solo guitar, here… give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Alpha! Ladies, do you know what the bass is? That's the four-string instrument that makes your ass move sideways… frontways… feels good. Unfortunately, we have no bass on the stage right now because it just so happens that the guy who fingers the bass is also one motherfucker on guitar. So please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Water! Wasser! About the same time as I was standing here thrusting and doing everything I could in order to get somewhere, I heard another sound from over here. For me, I recognized the word but I didn't really fucking– What are they saying? Do you know what they said? Anybody had an idea? "Omega… Omega… Take me right here, right now, Omega…" Eh? Okay! Mister Quintessence here, the giant from Gistad, Ostrogothia, outside Lincopia. Give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Omega! There you have it. Now you have… Geist. Dresden, Germany (February 19 , 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Right on, man! Not a bad solo, no? It's a good one! Very good. You know, maybe you already know the story, you have figured it out, but y'know, we started out as a somewhat ehh– it was supposed to be nameless. Well, my brother who was in the band obviously, he got a name but uhh, oh wait a minute, it was the guy before that. Fuck it. Anyways– [SHUSHES THE AUDIENCE] I'm gonna tell you a story. Thank you for the enthusiasm, though. We figured that if we were nameless, all would be okay. Then rose a problem: what the fuck are we gonna do for autographs? Not sign it? Heh. It's a funny idea but it didn't really translate very well. So we figured that well all the members are like cornerstones, like elements. A-ha! Elements! We can use the elements and they can sign it with elements. Oh, what a fucking brilliant idea! That is perfect. Alright. Said and done. So you all met, obviously, Earth and Air. So on. So we did like, Fire. So there was this guy, Fire, but on his guitar there was another symbol, too, to correlate with another guy on the other side of the stage. So one night in our career, we had just gotten to be a little bit popular. There were girls coming to our shows. And they made sounds. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but one night I heard, over here, something along the lines of "Alpha… Alpha… Alpha! I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha!" Were they talking about fire? Ah-ha! OK then. Please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul named Alpha! Ladies, do you know– Yes, you. Ja. Say 'ja.' That is the four-string instrument that make your ass, like, move. Like a… Maybe you didn't know that before, but it is the bass. We happen to have one bass player who normally fingers the bass very well. but he just so happens to be a very, very good guitar player, too, to the annoyance of everyone else because he's so fucking good. Please, give it up for our eminent bass player, a Nameless Ghoul named Water! Wasser! Yeah man, you rock! About the same time when I heard that Alpha stuff over there, I also heard another noise coming from this side. And it was stomping like a [STOMPING NOISES] But also something from the crowd. Do you have any idea what they were saying over here? What do you think? Not a clue. Is it "Omega?" Yes, "Omega… Omega. I want to be yours, Omega. Look at my… Just look at me, Omega… Omega…" So apparently, the guy over here had changed names into something else. So I give to you here in Herford, the giant from the Ostrogothian fields, from Gistad outside Lincopia, Omega! There you have it: a nameless band. Now you have ghosts. Herford, Germany (February 20, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Right on! That was a good fucking solo. Very soulful. This band started out, once upon a time, with the idea of not having names. Um… But my predecessors had a name. My brother had a name, now I've got a name. But the other ones– Nameless Ghouls. One day rose a problem. What if people want an autograph? Ah! Now, there was this smartass who came up with "Maybe all the different members can be elements!" I said that seems reasonable and it's a simple sign and it will be quick. Great. OK, so you've already met Earth and Air. You know the other ones, yes? So we have Fire. But this Fire guy– on his guitar, there was a sign, obviously, that sort of correlated with the other guy on the other side. So people picked up on that. One night in our successful career, I was standing here in the middle. I was thrusting and I was dancing and I was doing everything I could do to get the– the meows, eh? Then I heard, from the– my left– I heard female voices that yelled… whimpered "Alpha… Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha!" Alright! Well, my buddy Fire here has a new name, apparently. So please, on the guitar, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! Ladies, do you know what a bass is? I know you do. Four strings. And that is usually the thing that makes your ass wobble like that when you hear music. That is the good part, actually, the bass. Normally fingering the bass, but currently playing guitar– very good, actually, just to insult us, the rest of us. Give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Water! About the same time I was standing there in the middle and I heard that Alpha crap, I also heard something else from this side of the stage. It was women– busty women, who said something I hadn't really heard before. Can you guess what they were saying? Yeah. "Omega… Omega… I want to take you home and rip you apart, Omega." That's what they said, actually. It's weird. But he has a way to not leave one seat in the house dry. Please, from the Ostrogothian fields, from Gistad outside Lincopia, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Alright, there you have it! Now you have Ghost. Thank you. Malmö, Sweden (February 25, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! What a good solo! I'm telling you a story. When we started out, the idea was for us –except for myself and my predecessors, obviously– to be nameless. We thought that would sort of work with the human psyche, but it did not. And there was a practical problem as well, because people wanted autographs. Oh! And there was this smartass in the band who came up with this idea: "Maybe we can– here, the band, we can represent the elements, right? And then we hav a little sign that we sign." Problem solved! Voila! So, you've already met, obviously, Earth and Air, and so we went on with Fire, and so forth. But there were other symbols, too– heathen, clandestine. One was on one guitar and one was on the other guitar. The thing was, we were getting bigger. We started to attract girls to our shows. There you are. One night, I was standing here in the middle –or maybe it was my brother, I dont know, fuck it– and there was this noise, this sound that I've ever really heard before, coming form this side. It was girls saying "Alpha… Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha." Fire? Alright! It was the sign they saw– the alpha sign. So please, give it up, christened by our female fans, a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! Do you know what the bass is? You do, OK, good. For the rest of you, that is the four-stringed instrument that makes your ass wobble when you hear good music. That is it. It is basically that simple– the bass… Normally tormenting the four-string axe, but currently insulting us all by being the best guitar player in this fucking band give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Water! About the same time I was standing here at the show, at that time long gone, there was also another sound that I heard from this side. Girls, do you know what I heard? Can you say it? "Omega… Omega…" Yes. It was the women, yelling out to be ravaged by… a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! And so the ravaging continues… So there you have it! Now you have ghosts. Uppsala, Sweden (February 26, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Right on! Good solo! We started out once with the idea of being nameless. It went so-and-so. One early problem that appeared is that, as we grew popular, people wanted their records signed. Well, I got to– Well, my predecessors got to sign shit. Fuck. You know how it is. Heh! But the other guys, they needed to sign something, too. So there was this smartass in the band who came up with the idea of "Maybe everyone in the band can be elements, right? That's a simple way to get out of that problem." OK, so as you already met Earth and Air, and so it went with Fire and such. Ehh. Problem solved. In addition to these symbols, there were other little details that was incorporated. As we grew a little bigger, people picked up on that, too, especially the signs that was on the two guitars. I was standing here in the middle, somewhere, someplace, in the middle of our successful career, and I was dancing and at this time, y'know, we were starting to attract not only dudes, it was a lot of girls at our shows, too. So it was beginning to be really funny, huh? And one night, I was dancing and thrusting and doing all the moves I could in order to get everybody in heat. And I heard something that I never really heard before, at least not at our concerts, and it came from this side. And it was –I guess mostly female– voices saying "Alpha, Alpha, Alpha, Alpha, Alpha, Alpha. Alpha, Alpha! I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha!" Fire? OK? So Fire got a new name. So please, give it up, on guitar, for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! I am sure you're familiar with the instrument called bass. If anybody saw us in Utrecht last time, you might remember that we actually have a bass player who is one motherfucker on guitar, too. Remember that? When poor Alpha had to stand out on a show or two –I don't remember how many– where this dude over here played the guitar. So please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Water! Looking sharp! Do you remember when I told you about when I noticed the whole alpha shit going on on the other side? Around the same time, I heard a new word coming from this part of the crowd. Yeah. All I could see, these big whoppers, women casting them forth, yelling something. Do you know what? [AUDIENCE: OMEGA!] Yeah… That was what they yelled. So please, peoples of the Netherlands and beyond, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! There you have it. Now you have Ghost. We are Ghost. Thank you very much. Tilburg, Netherlands (March 1, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! Right on! Good solo! Y'know, originally, the idea– I'm not grabbing my ass, I'm adjusting my pants! Originally, the idea was for us to have no names. 'A Nameless Ghoul.' Except for myself then and my predecessors. One day rose a problem. People want shit signed. Alright. We can have signs! Each and every member of the band can have signs. Problem solved. Great. So they were the signs of the elements. And you know, you've already met those– you've met Earth and you've met Air, and then you get so on, y'know. But there was also smaller symbols around, especially two that sort of correlated on the guitars. People seemed to have picked up on that, because one night, I was standing about here. I was dancing and I was singing and thrusting. I heard a noise– female voices over at that side, saying something. Do you know what they yelled? "Alpha… Alpha…" So our multi-talented guitar player here, whose name is Fire, had a new name. Give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! You do know what a bass is, right? That's the four-stringed instrument that makes your ass wobble. It's easy as that. You need a good drummer, too, but if you have a good bass and a good drums that has their shit together, it really feels good. Our bass player is very multi-talented, and as you can see, there are– there's a six-string axe in his hand right now. Please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Water! About that same time when all that Alpha shit was going on on that side, it turned into a murmur for me in the middle because there was– they were saying other things on this side. [STAMMERING] Do you know what they were saying here, neighbors of stage right, as they say? I saw whoppers all over the place, women screaming "Omega…" So please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! There you have it! Now you have Ghost. Thank you very much. Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, USA (April 14, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: What a good solo! Yeah! Good work, dude! Y'know, we started out with our thing– They started out– fuck. This band started out with the idea of everybody, except myself and my predecessors, to have no names. It seemed like the right thing to do. And so far it has worked okay. One day, quite early in our career, we had gotten a little bit of recognition. We had an album out, and there were a few fans that wanted signings on the record. We do not have names, so uh… What are we to do? I said, "I dont give a fuck! I can sign it!" Again, where's my head here– obviously the other guy… Fuck it. Alright, there was this smartass who came up with the idea that maybe we can have signs, kind of like the elements, maybe. That's brilliant. I mean it's easy, it's fast, we can do stamps. Fantastic! Great idea! OK, so what do we have here? Obviously, we started here with Earth, and then we have Air and Fire and so on. So everyone had this little names and their stamps. Very good business model. But see, on their spare time, they also decorated guitars with other signs, very similar to the ones that we already used for them. So one night, when my predecessor was standing around here in the middle, he was thrusting singing and dancing and throwing kisses all over the place, there was a sound over at stage left. Confusing, eh? Stage left? Do you know what that sound was, over here? It was ladies' voices –and I guess a few guys, too– that said "Alpha… I want you, Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha." Eh? You talking about Fire? So Mister Fire had a new name un-christened by the girls in our audience. So please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! We have a guy in our band who usually plays the bass on stage, but on his spare time he likes to insult us all by showing off how great of a fucking guitar player he actually is. Please, give it up for the multi-talented A Nameless Ghoul called Water! Around the same time I heard those noises from stage left, there was also a little murmur from stage right– that's your part of the audience. I saw voluptuous women… was heaving their breasts, and they were chanting the same word. Do you know what that word was? Yes… "Omega… Take me right here and right now, Omega!" So please, ladies and genitals of Long Island, give it up for the Nameless Ghoul called Omega! So there you have it: Ghost. Huntington, New York, USA (April 15, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Right on. Not so shabby eh? What a good solo. I'm gonna tell a little story. When this band started out, the idea was simply for the band to have no names. Well, one person needed a name, so myself and my predecessors could have a name. We never really thought we would be popular enough to write autographs, but when time came to write autographs we had a fucking problem. So someone came up with the idea that maybe we could have the signs of the elements to sort of symbolize the different elements in the band. [PAPA NOISES] Not so dumb, actually a little bit clever. So you've already met, obviously, Earth, the drums, and Air being like the ambience, huh? Right? See? Clever. And then we continue, like, with Fire and such. Everybody got their names, and in times of boredom they started doing shit. One thing led to decorating their guitars with, actually, the sign of Fire– triangle. And that was to correlate with the sign on the other side of the stage on the other guitar. But we will get to that. Bear with me. On one of our tours, sometime into our career –our successful career– we were attracting dudes, men, girls, and women. Everybody was having fun. I was having fun! I was dancing, I was singing –for the best of my ability– and I was thrusting, doing my best to scare you all. Then I heard this little noise. It was, I guess, mostly female voices here on this side of the stage. [AUDIENCE SCREAMS] It sounded kinda like that. But do you know what they said? [AUDIENCE: ALPHA!] Exactly. They said, "Alpha… Alpha… Alpha… Little triangle sign on the guitar, Alpha!" OK, so Fire had a new name, apparently. So, peoples of New Haven, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! Do you know what a bass is? That's the four-string guitar that makes your ass wobble. Good drums, good bass– that's usually the key to writing a good song. Our bass player likes to spend his time off stage by showing off how fucking great he is on guitar, to discontent of everyone. But please, give it up for the multi-talented a Nameless Ghoul called Water! Around about the same time we heard the Alpha nonsense over there, there was this murmur, lets just put it that way, over here. And then there was chests. Voluptuous women heave themselves against the railing. And they yelled what? [AUDIENCE: OMEGA!] Yes. "Omega… take me here, right now, Omega…" You're getting it. Right now! So please, Connecticut, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Are you not impressed? So-and-so. OK, we'll get to the good part now. New Haven, Connecticut, USA (April 16, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! Very, very good. I'm gonna tell you a story. This band started out with the intention of being, as far as the members went, nameless. Which didn't pose a big problem until the day came that we had a record out that people liked, so they wanted names to be written on the record. Well, maybe we can have like signs. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, we can even have signs that are representative of the elements. Ah! Great! Fucking brilliant! [PAPA NOISES] Simple, too. Maybe it can even have stamps and we can save a lot of time. Said and done. So I know we had Earth, air, and Fire, and so on. So it worked like a charm. On endless treks around the world, with nothing to do but work and roll, we did other things too. Well, they did other things. So they started decorating their guitars. One with the sign that also says fire. But it also correlated with a sign on the other side of the stage, so that makes it seem something different. Hold on there. One night in our ever-so-prosperous career, we had started to attract a lot of ladies. I was standing here in the middle doing my spiel and I heard this noise coming from stage left, as we say in the business. It was ladies who said– what do you think the ladies of stage left said? they said, "Alpha… Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha." So Mister Fire had a new name, because of the sign on his guitar. So, ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! We'll get to the other symbol on the other guitar very, very shortly. But speaking of another guitar… Holding in his guitar, right now, a six-string axe when he's actually supposed to play something that has four strings on it, but he likes to insult everyone with the idea and the fact that he's a better guitar player than all of us. So please, give it up for the multi-talented a Nameless Ghoul called Water! About the same time when we heard that Alpha nonsense over there, I was thrusting here. I heard something else from stage right. There was a murmur. It came from voluptuous women.. who'd put their whoppers on the rim, and they'd say something very very strange for my ears. "Omega… Omega… Take me right here, right now, Omega!" So please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Thank you. Niagara Falls, New York, USA (April 17, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: My god, what a shredder! Alright… You've already met Earth and Air, so you get it, right, yeah? Elements, and so on? Fire? But some of them goes by additional names. Do you know what they usually yell, mostly female voices around here? [AUDIENCE: ALPHA!] Yes… So please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! This tormentor of the axe usually torments the bass with his fingers of doom. Have you seen what his fingers can do? I'm sure you wish you were the one he was doing it to, huh? But now he's playing guitar, so please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Water! Ladies of stage right flank, what do you usually say over here? What I usually hear over here is "Omega.... Copulate me right here, right now, Omega." But unfortunately, ladies, he's occupied playing the guitar. So please, ladies and genitals, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Houston, Texas, USA (April 27, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! Look at Mister Guitar Guy, here. Alright… I guess you smatasses understand what it's all about, right? Earth on the drums, Air on the keyboards, and so on. Do you know what ladies over here usually yell during our shows? Do you have a clue? What is your guess, darling? [AUDIENCE: PAPA!] Some of them yell 'Papa' too, but they usually yell something else, too. Are you clueless, all of you? "Alpha…" [AUDIENCE: OMEGA!] No, say 'Alpha', you stupid! There you go… They say "Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha!" So please, people of Alabama, give it up for a Nameless ghoul called Alpha! You know what a bass is, right? However, that is no bass. I assume that you know. This guy perfectly knows that he's not playing the bass right now. Because you see, he is very multi-talented. His fingers can do magic to basses, guitars… you tell me. So please, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Water! Alright, let's see if, uh, peoples of stage right is smarter than people of stage left. What are you yelling? [AUDIENCE: OMEGA!] Yes! It's usually accompanied by "Take me right here, right now, Omega!" Is that what you're saying? I see. Ladies and genitals of Alabama, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Birmingham, Alabama (May 2, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! Alright, have you understood the drill now? On the drums, Earth. On the keyboard, we have Air. And so it goes on according to the elements… correct. However, usually around this time of night, we hear women in heat from this side of the stage, and they're yelling out a name that doesn't really fit into the chemistry lesson, but it belongs on a campus– usually between the sheets. Do you know what these girls are yelling? [AUDIENCE: ALPHA!] Yes… that's exactly what they were yelling. They say "I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha. Don't do the show, just come down here with me and make me happy." Please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! We do have a bass player in the band, but he's kind of an overachiever, so he likes to spend his days in front of us playing guitar because he's really good at it. Please, people of Tennessee, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Water! When I look to my right, because confusingly that is stage left and that is stage right – for us– so when I cast an eye on stage right, I usually see big, big, big, big boppers. And they're yelling something… You girls know what that is? [AUDIENCE: OMEGA!] Yes… Yes… "You can breastfeed on me, Omega!" That is what they say! All of them! For some reason. So please, Tennessee, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Knoxville, Tennessee, USA (May 4, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! Alright… I know you have your heads screwed on here in Maryland, so I take it that you figured it out by now, right? It's the elements. Earth, Wind– Air, yes, and so on! But somehow… I heard different things coming out of the crowd every night, usually about here, the so-called stage left, because we see it the other way around, so we say stage left. There is a sound coming from the female parts of the audience of stage left. What do you think they say? Eh, no, they actually say something else. Can you try it again? You say "Alpha… Alpha… I want to be your Ghoulette, Alpha." "On the floor, right now," they say. "Come down here. Fuck that guitar shit! Come down and make me happy woman." So what do they say? [AUDIENCE: ALPHA!] Ladies and genitals, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! Our four-string axe tormentor… is now tormenting a G string. He does it very well. Please give it up for the multi-talented Nameless Ghoul called Water! Usually there 's murmur over at this side, too. You know what they're saying over here? Busty women, you say– what do you think they say? They're saying "Take me right here, right now, Omega," they say. Can you say that? Once more, give me one more try! [AUDIENCE: TAKE ME RIGHT HERE AND NOW, OMEGA!] Yes! That's what they say. So Baltimore, please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Very good. Baltimore, Maryland (May 8, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! Eureka! What a fantastic solo! Alright… It is early in our relationship, but I think it's time that I test your mental powers. You're a smart bunch! By now, you figured it out, right? Earth, Air– elements, yes! Hon hon hon! Yes! Fantastic. However, to my confusion, one day I heard another name from this part of the stage. Do you know what they were calling out from here, stage left? Do you know what they say, what they yell, the females to our guitar player standing here? What? [AUDIENCE: ALPHA!] Yeah that's half of it. They say "I can take both shlong and balls at one time, Alpha! Just drop that guitar and give it all to me, instead." That's what they're saying, collectively, to my confusion. Richmond, Virginia, please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! You're such foul mouths! I'm trying to keep it decent here. And speaking of nasty things, just look at this fingerwork! Not your fingers, your fingerwork. Our bass player here, who usually plays with four strings, he can handle six, he can handle 12… as if it was a vagina. Give it up for the multi-talented a Nameless Ghoul called Water! Magical fingers… What makes things even more confusing for me is hearing different things in my ears. Do you know what they're saying at this side of the venue –stage right, for us– do you know? You know what the whole sentence is? "Impregnate me right here, right now on this floor, Omega!" And that combined with the other sentence at the same is just fucking grief to me. Sounds fucking weird. But ladies and genitals, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Richmond, Virginia, USA (May 9, 2016)

PAPA EMERITUS III: Yeah! Alright see how smart you are… Have you figured it out now, then? If we have Earth and Wind, how do we continue? Those are the elements, yes! And you've already met Earth and Wind –or Air, if you want– and Fire and so on, yeah. But do you know what –especially the ladies here of so-called stage left– what they are yelling most of the time? What's that, honey? [AUDIENCE: ALPHA!] That's half of the sentence. They usually yell: "Omega, why don't you drop this rock business and just come down here on the floor and impregnate me, right here, right now?" That is what they yell. So uh, can you all yell that? [AUDIENCE YELLING] Alright, that's close enough. But ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Alpha! Ladies, maybe you noticed that, uh, up until now, your ass has been shaking and wobbling like this. But now it's sort of stopped. It's because of those four strings that are not represented on stage right now, because the guy who usually makes your ass wobble is right now playing a guitar. So please give it up for the multi-talented A Nameless Ghoul called Water! So, ladies of stage right, what are you usually yelling? [AUDIENCE: OMEGA!] Again, that's just part of it. You have to learn the whole line: "Why don't you jizz all over my whoppers, Omega, right now?!" That is what they say. So say it! "Why. Don't. You. Jizz. All. Over. My. Whoppers. Right. Now. Omega?!" [EXACTLY ONE GUY IN THE AUDIENCE REPEATS IT] Right on, dude! Good work! Alright, Indianapolis, give it up for a Nameless Ghoul called Omega! Indianapolis, Indiana, USA (May 19, 2016)

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