"Just Keep Smiling Ü"

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I'm at the verge of my existence, I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like my life has become dull. Doing the same thing over and over again. No one noticing or appreciating my efforts. I feel like regret is always knocking on my doorstep. I hate doing something I know I’m good at but don’t love at all. But hate the feeling of doing what I love but feel like I would fail. I wouldn’t want to disappoint my parents for me not having a degree, but I feel like it would be worse to disappoint myself for doing something that I’m not really fond of. I always give way for others, but not for myself. I hate the feeling of not having anything left for me. I want to pursue something that I love, something that I have passion in doing. Knowing that it wouldn’t pay me that much. But, wouldn’t you rather do something you love rather than doing something you hate every single day. I don’t know if this is depression, but I can feel its bits and pieces attacking me. I may look jolly or happy-go-lucky. But deep inside, I feel empty. You may not notice it, but that’s actually how I feel right now. Remember, a sink hole doesn’t form from the top but from the bottom.

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Pre, ingatan mo siya ha? Alam ko matagal na kaming wala pero, sa mga nagdaang taon, hindi ko siya pinabayaan kahit na ilang beses niya pa akong i-pagtabuyan. Matuto ka sa mga pagkakamaling nagawa ko. Sa mga pagkukulang ko, sustentuhan mo. Bakit? Kasi, mahal ko pa’rin siya eh. ‘Wag na ‘wag mo siyang sasaktan, at iiwang manlamig. Kundi, ako’ng makakaharap mo.

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"Every time that he made you cry, I wanted to be with you because all I wanted was to see you smile."

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You say that you've been searching throughout your life the person who would value you for your true worth, who would kiss you, cuddle you, who would listen to all your crazy stories, who would spend most of their time making you happy... But in reality, he is one of the people you mostly ignore.

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Sa buhay mo, hindi imposibleng walang taong magbibigay ng oras niya para sa'yo...

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"I try to do my very best in everything I do. But now I am so tired. I feel like I give and give and get nothing, not even a thank you. It feels really empty and I am just sick and tired of everything. I am so sick of being the strong one. I am sick of being the person who can handle anything. I am sick of people taking advantage of me. I am sick of going out of my way to take care of others. I'm fed up of feeling like a thick s**t and feeling alone. I don’t feel like I can tell anyone that I know that I am feeling like this. I isolate myself from my family and the world. I think it's mostly because of people rejecting me all the time."

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I HATE STEREOTYPES.

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Ganian talaga. Kahit gano mo kamahal ang isang tao dadating at dadating ka sa puntong susuko ka na dahil pagod ka na, pagod ka na mag papansin sa kanya, pagod ka ng mag-effort para sa kanya na wala naman siyang ibang ginawa kundi balewalain lahat ng mga ginagawa mo. Ginawa mo lahat para iparamdam at ipakita sa kanya kung gano mo siya kamahal pero siya tong tanga na sinayang ka.

[idiotblogista-deactivated201407]

Bakit pakiramdam ko nakakarelate ako. Kingina.

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Ayoko na p*ta. Lagi nalang ako umaasa ansakit mag-expect lalo na kapag umibabaw ang realidad...

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"Hindi porket line of 7 or bagsak ka sa isang subject, tanga ka na or bobo. Karamihan naman sa atin, tinamad lang mag-aral kaya naging ganun. Kulang lang tayo sa motivation. Oo, kasalanan natin kung bakit tayo bumagsak dahil sa katamaran, pero 'wag na 'wag mong iisipin na tanga ka."

Nabasa ko lang, pero pasado ako ha. Haha. Totoo nga naman.

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I just moved to a new blog which is deviantArt. Di naman siya parang blog mismo pero parang ganun na din xD Anyways, kung interested kayo mag parequest ng photoshop artworks dun at gagawin ko :D Dun din ako nagpopost ng iba kong mga photoshop pieces. Sensya na kung konti palang. Nasa dating hard drive ko kasi yun ee pinareformat ko laptop ko, Ayun wala tuloy :3 

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"Dear Girls, every time you feel sad because of someone who turns their back on you. There's always a guy out the who would do anything to see you smile."

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Sometimes, I just wanna go out. Grab a coffee, sit on the porch, and watch the sun set...

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The different sensations we feel in our emotions... Gives you an idea of how your aura affects your actions...

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My Summer Vacation?

My Summer vacation? How is it? It's full of defeats and rank downs... League of Legends:

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Nakakamiss lang 'to :/