there is something so fucking insulting about someone complimenting you over your weight loss when the weight loss was not intentional and was, in fact, frightening. like, thanks asshole. I wish having a BMI over 25 was the only thing I had to worry about. I’m glad you apparently believed my body was less than ideal and it is now more pleasing to you after I have been dealing with a flareup of a serious autoimmune disorder for months. I miss being able to enjoy food but I’m so glad you think I look better, apparently.
of course, you can’t say this because in the diet culture infested world that we live in, no one thinks twice about complimenting someone on their visible weight loss. it isn’t meant as a insult, it’s a thoughtless comment. it is unfathomable that someone may have been happier or healthier when they weighed more. and you don’t want to have to recount your personal medical history in graphic detail to explain why losing weight was not good.
‘you’ve lost weight since the last time I saw you’ is a completely neutral observation, it’s an acceptable comment to make in my opinion. automatically complimenting someone on it is so presumptuous and gross.
on the funnier end of this, i had a friend who was deep in a coke addiction for a while (she’s out now!! over a year sober!!!) and we were out and about when we bumped into someone we knew in high school. my friend was curvyand plump in hs but has since lost almost all of it (due to the coke).
the hs acquaintance is talking about whatever and then tells my friend, “by the way you’ve lost so much weight! you look so much healthier than high school! what have you been doing?”
HEALTHIER. SHE SAID SHE LOOKED. HEALTHIER.
friend glances at me and just rips off the bandaid, “actually i’m really addicted to coke right now. and i’m on like 80 mg of adderall rn. my metabolism is fucked so i lost a lot of weight.”
the acquaintance is speechless. she fumbles with her words for a second before mumbling some “oh im so sorry i gotta go it was good to see you” and fucking dipped.
tldr: don’t comment on people’s weight loss or gain because sometimes it’s an autoimmune disease and sometimes they’re addicted to drugs. also it’s just rude.
