Sometimes, late at night and agonizing over a spreadsheet that tried to cover and cook Pan’s wild expenditures and profits at Attaboy, Utu would wonder if Pan had found himself a fantastic pidgeon. Utu the patsy. Like finding that rich old grandma, so lonely and desperate for attention, that she’ll give all her money away to an internet scammer. A landline scammer, even.
But somehow, even in Utu’s moments when he decided to ‘confront’ Pan once and for all, put his foot down, make things clear about what Utu wanted (even though he was grateful, so, so, so very grateful to this vibrant strange satyr who did so much for Utu with a simple, beautiful hymn), he’d meet with Pan, and…Pan would simply charm him all over again. No, Pan couldn’t possibly have considered Utu nothing more than a sad lonely grandma. Pan had those eyes, that face. He looked at Utu with nothing but convivial love.
Tez, was not the same. Utu wasn’t beholden to Tez. Sure, she was somehow involved with keeping Attaboy’s profits up - not that Utu wanted to know the gory details - but there were other revenue streams. Honest revenue streams, that Utu could shine some light on, cultivate with honest businesses and vendors, grow like plants to make Attaboy something more than just a sleazy speakeasy den and a sunny coffeeshop above.
Utu gave Tez a sour look as she teased them. “Oh har har. I’m sure this kinda thing is just normal for you…” Did Pan and Tez ever…? Actually no; Utu didn’t want to think about that. He shut the dildo drawer.
“Baast huh…” Utu straightened up, tapping a long finger along their lip. “That’s not such a bad idea, but the backroom unfortunately doesn’t get a lot of light. Maybe I can get a bank loan and build in some sky lights, though…” Utu grinned at the thought. Brighten up the neon-dark corners of the speak-easy, strip it of it’s dark allure and sweet mystery?
But they could tell that Tez was displeased. And before Utu could say anything more, Tez piped up first - with her own proposal. Utu wasn’t expecting this and they stared at her in honest surprise. Did Tez think Utu was just vying for an offer?
“A Pan 2.0? No one could replace Pan when it comes to Attaboy, Tezcatlipoca. For all of his disorganization and lack of business management skills. And his late payments, and his lackadaisical schedule.” And and and. Utu made a disgruntled noise, and shut all the cabinets. “We shouldn’t even be talking like this. This is Pan’s memorial, he’s gone forever. Don’t you - I know you explained about your idea of death - but the death of a god isn’t the same as a mortal! He’s not on their Olympus! He’s wiped from existence!! He’s gone and he’s never coming back!! Someone obliterated him - and - and I have no freaking clue how his murder is going to affect humans, even. Something’s going to happen to their way of life - not just in this little city. Without Pan living in the mass-subconscious of humanity, that’s gonna have a ripple effect, Tez. A huge shift in culture, beliefs…mark my words. You can’t just kill a god and expect it to have no consequences.”
No one from any of their pantheons in New Orleans were technically worshipped, except adjacently. They existed in the subconsciouness of humans, or more directly in small sporadic cults and pagans. Pan more than most. Mortals still knew of Pan, utilized him in words and songs and terminologies and shorthand.
But Utu was ranting and Tez was staring at him, in a way that (to Utu) looked completely unimpressed by his grief, and his alarmism. Utu waved a hand. “Whatever. I won’t get through to you. And no - I don’t need your help with my business, Tez. I’m sorry, but…I don’t think we’d be compatible.”
He could say that now. Steeped in grief and moral self-righteousness, and maybe a petty satisfaction of shooting Tez down. But…but. There was always that air siren wail alarm in the back of Utu’s mind, growing louder with each day that passed, post-Pan. What to do with Attaboy. What to do with Attaboy.
Beware the quiet ones, that was a mantra Tezcatlipoca needed to pay more attention to. Huitzilopochtli was the loud brother, boisterous and noisy, gnashing at the bit for his fill of bloodlust and carnage. Yet it had always been Quetzalcoatl who had been Tezcatlipoca's downfall, literary and quiet. Utu was so much like him, it could have made Tez sick. As Utu spoke she knew this approach wouldn't work, that he was drawing out the art of spurning her. Tez kept her face as neutral as she could make it, about to make a point that if he so desired it, she would happily be disorganised, manage business badly and pay Utu late when the sun deity's emotional outburst stopped her in her tracks.
Tez listened, thoughtfully. Truly listened. She assessed Utu carefully, slipping her e-cig away into her pocket so no more smoke would obscure them. Pan was gone forever, and yes that would leave an ache in the world. Like a lost tooth, the bloodied gap in the gum that the tongue couldn't help but slip through, searching for its missing companion. But it was just that, a tooth, and after a while the gum would heal over, the gap would hardly bother the tongue.
"There will be consequences," Tez said, agreeing with Utu. "Change scares you," she stated, cutting to the core of their disagreement. It wasn't about the sanctity of Pan's life, or death, the unfairness of his demise, the ripples that would grow into waves from this moment. It was that Utu was afraid, and Tez was not. "It's alright," Tezcatlipoca said, smiling as she stepped back into the office, back over to Utu. "It will never be the same, but it never is the same. That's the great deception we play, isn't it? Every day is different to the last. Within ten years, every cell that makes up this mortal form would have replaced itself. Nothing, is ever the same, Pan is dead, and he is never coming back, gods can die, and the world will keep turning and the sun will burn," she said, and she was right in front of Utu. She poked a finger into the center of his chest.
"I have torn a world to pieces because it did not please me, and built it up anew. Yes, Pan's death is terrifying, it is horrible and sad and exciting. What will come next?" she hissed, dark eyes blazing with energy. This was her element, change through disorder, chaos and adaptation. It had been centuries since she had been on Earth and something so exciting had happened! Something which could shake not only a city or a country, but the entire world to its core!
Tez stepped back, aware that she was overzealous, giving Utu some space to breathe. Straightening her jacket, looking cool and unaffected once more. "Think on it," she said. "Not compatible, but complimentary." Night and the sun, working together.