When I fly solo,

☮✌SAM EVANS✌☮ a mckinley high student I'm from Lima, Ohio and I've lived here a decent amount of my life. I'm adopted but that totally means nothing to me. I love my parents and everything they continue to do for me. I'm a lucky dude. I like playing guitar and smokin da ganj. I'm just totally kidding though, for all those narcs spying on me. Weed? What's that..

[goodsanlopez]

Man.

[goodsanlopez]

It’s super illegal. Girls can’t even walk around with no shirts without getting in trouble.

[smokinsammy]

Even in New York? I thought that place would be totally cool with boobs.

[lilycovechloe-deactivated202206]

I wouldn’t want your ego to get too enormous.

Even when I accidentally shoot you in Call of Duty? Why not? It’ll be fun. Besides, we could practice on lamp posts outside and weird every passerby out.

[smokinsammy]

Fine. Keep me level headed, I guess.

Even then, but only 'cause you do that cute sorry face when I look at you afterwards. Alright, yeah! Why not! Lets do it. We can be like famous street pole dancers in New York! People will wanna take pictures with us.

[somewhereoverthebrittbow-blog]

It’s true. Brown haired people can’t just pass it back and forth telepathically like us. And don’t even get me started on people with red hair!

[smokinsammy]

We're really lucky we're blondes in that case. What happens if I, like, dyed my hair? Would I lose the power?

[lilycovechloe-deactivated202206]

You’re kind of adorable, you know that?

I was just messing with you.That’s good to know. Oh no - If I do it, you’ve got to do it, too. Deal?

[smokinsammy]

Just kind of?

Oh, good. 'Cause I always want you. Wait, I have to do it too? I mean, I think I would make a pretty awesome pole dancer

[somewhereoverthebrittbow-blog]

I must have been hogging all the blonde brainpower again. It sucks that we have to share it.

[smokinsammy]

It does but at least we can like transfer it back and forth and help each other out! Like you just gave me the great idea about Cheetos. 

[goodsanlopez]

Man.

[goodsanlopez]

I know, but as amazing as my body is, I can’t walk around naked at school. I need clothes to wear.

[smokinsammy]

Yeah, true. Isn't that illegal? Except for at certain beaches.

[somewhereoverthebrittbow-blog]

I bet if you bought them Cheetos they’d give you the other 16% too!

[smokinsammy]

You're probably right.. I don't know why I didn't think of that!

[lilycovechloe-deactivated202206]

You can still get points for that!

And you don’t want me all the time? #offended. But I get what you mean - I could always take pole dancing classes just for the shits and giggles but then again, I have no money and I doubt Mom would pay for me to do that.

[smokinsammy]

Awesome! I'll take them.

No! I totally do. I just meant in that moment, I wouldn't be able to restrain myself. We can just like get a pole dancing class on dvd or something for you! Then you can do it in your own house

[lilycovechloe-deactivated202206]

Umm… Who invented Pop Tarts?

I know, right? I told her we’d be there. I’d obviously drag you off the stage to get a little bow chicka wow wow into our schedule if you were dancing in your underwear on stage.

[smokinsammy]

Oh man. Okay you stumped me on that one. I do know that Toaster Strudels were invented by that chick's dad in Mean Girls. 

Awesome! Yeah, that totally makes sense. I know if you were wearing next to nothing dancing on a stage I'd want you. That'd be real sexy.

[lilycovechloe-deactivated202206]

Prove it.

I dunno. The worst case scenario is that they’re going to play a bunch of sex games. I’m glad - It’d be pretty hard to watch you perform.

[smokinsammy]

Uh, ask me a question! A tough one. One you would think long hair Sam wouldn't know and I bet I'll get it right.

That's worst case? Let's go! Why would it be hard to watch me? 

[somewhereoverthebrittbow-blog]

That’s super awesome, Sam! Did your parents agree to your plan?

[smokinsammy]

They're like 84% on board with it!

[lilycovechloe-deactivated202206]

Glad to hear it.

That’s an interesting theory. By the way, ‘Tana and Britt are having a game night soon - wanna go? Do you want to be a stripper?

[smokinsammy]

Theory? It's true, Quinn. A game night? I'm totally down for that. What kind of games? No, no. I've seen Magic Mike and that seemed a bit intense for me.

[smokinsammy]

CALL → FABREVANS

QUINN: Mmkay. See you, babe - I'll swing by tomorrow to help you with the whole studying thing.

SAM: Awesome! Love you, bye!

[lilycovechloe-deactivated202206]

I’m extremely proud of you. Is that better?

I don’t know; something about you just seems different now, but it isn’t bad at all. Though you could honestly be a model with your physique.

[smokinsammy]

Much better!

I think it's that I'm smarter. It's like when my hair fell off my brain could breath just a bit more. You think? I was thinking more of like a stripper.

[smokinsammy]

CALL → FABREVANS

QUINN: I love you too, buttface.

SAM: Good. I'm gonna go and get high now to celebrate my parents being totally cool with the whole GED thing! So, I'll talk to you later. Okay, babe?

[goodsanlopez]

Man.

I should be packing for college, but all I want to do is watch movies with my girlfriend and eat pizza. Why do I have to be a responsible adult?

[smokinsammy]

You should just eat pizza and hang out with Britt. Packing seems really lame.

[goodsanlopez]

That sounds like a good plan to me. I’m sure Quinn would love that.

[smokinsammy]

I have an even better plan now, Santana! I'm gonna try to move to New York.