active nov’25 @smol-fxiry - Tumblr Blog

𝘵𝘸 - 𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺, 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨.

𝘱𝘳𝘰-𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺. 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 - 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦.

𝘥𝘯𝘪 𝘪𝘧 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘤, “𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘱𝘰“, 𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪-𝘭𝘨𝘣𝘵𝘲+, “𝘔𝘈𝘗“(𝘗𝘌𝘋𝘖), 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘦𝘥’𝘴. 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬.

𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘶𝘱: @tiny-fxiry

𝘪’𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘻, 𝘪’𝘮 22 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘭𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪’𝘮 𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘶𝘴. 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘴4, 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘵, 𝘢𝘤𝘯𝘩, 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺, 𝘳𝘥𝘳2, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘵𝘢5. 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘺𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘣𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘮𝘤𝘳, 𝘱𝘵𝘷, 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘺𝘭𝘦𝘴.

𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸

#💀.ish0ngry #💀.speaks #💀.issad #💀’s asks #💀’sf00dl0g #💀’s w31ght trackers #💀’s music #💀.writes

WOOHOO HEY its time for my bi-yearly check in

i got a job working in fast food in april and it’s been okay for the most part - i have a specific safe order for my lunch. still have been maintaining despite trying to l0se since april

i am getting tired of my job as of recently, like its the same thing every single day. no new interactions, no unique interactions, every day is the same. same conversations and everything. its driving me nuts and i want to find a new job, something with a little variety or at least interesting people but getting a job elsewhere rn is so fucking hard in my area

my drinking has ramped up a little since january but is starting to calm down again. it still was nowhere near as bad as last year - yet. hopefully it stays on the downward trend through the holidays

my roommate stopped drinking completely so its been a lot easier to limit myself thank GOD.

my ed has been creeping up on me again as usual this time of year is the worst i stg so i might become active again lmaaaaooooo

i hope everyone is doing well ❤️

#💀.speaks

also ended up binge drinking a lot and decided to try and stay mostly sober. my hangovers have been full of anxiety recently and i feel like im gonna die when i get hungover. so i stopped drinking for the most part. i’ll only have like 1-2 drinks if i do drink and i try to limit that to once a week at MOST. im doing a lot better with it and im proud because it’s been bad since september.

#💀.issad

been r3l4psing w my 3d since the end of dec. hope you’re all well. it’s been a while since i’ve been active here

#💀.ish0ngry #💀.speaks #💀.issad

hello hello

i never took the meds they’re literally just sitting in my nightstand and i stopped seeing the psych nurse shortly after i posted my last post lmfao

#💀.speaks

i was prescribed three medications for anxiety and my health anxiety has made it to where im fucking terrified to take them. i googled them (mistake) and got scared that i would have an allergic reaction bc im allergic to sulfa drugs. emailed my psych nurse, she had me call my pharmacist. pharmacist says they’re fine to take and will NOT cause an allergic reaction. IM JUST SO FUCKING SCARED. jfc . doing some exposure therapy tonight by taking the night medication first without the other two that im supposed to take in the mornings. and then i’m gonna go to my moms to take the morning meds tomorrow. just so i have someone there if i freak out or if shit does go south .

i really hope these meds help. i hate living like this.

#💀.issad

i have developed alc0h0lic habits again. trying to break myself out of it, and im going friday to a psych to try and get medicated for anxiety. i got a job and ghosted them this week bc i was so anxious about going back after training. ☹️

#💀.issad

i want to reinvent myself and part of that is l0sing we1ght. i want to l0se more than her. i want to be prettier, better in all ways.

i hate this competitive feeling i get sometimes.

#💀.ish0ngry

i moved out of my parents house and can feel myself slowly healing as the days pass

its so weird not being in a household that has constant tension, its weird not constantly walking on eggshells. i’ve never known what peace would feel like, what getting away from my family would feel like. it was stressful and continues to be, getting here, but its worth it in order to sit in my living room and make dinners without feeling like im going to puke.

#💀.speaks

on another note i finally went from 3g to 2g after 5 years of being stuck. my ears are finally almost the size i want them.

i’ve been rewatching the vampire diaries and i didn’t realize i forgot most of what happened so it’s been really fun almost watching it again for the first time.

i dyed my hair back to bright colors instead of black. i feel like myself again.

i’ve been in a dark place for a little longer than i’d like to admit but it’s fine, im fine. just gotta keep pushing through ig. can’t help but feel like i am the forgettable friend, i am the person that is disposable no matter how hard i try. i only have one friend that i’ve kept for a long time and my bf. im trying to make new friends but it doesn’t feel as real as what i had.

i’ll get through this. i just have to keep pushing.

#💀.issad

smol-fxiry

dr0nk again. one last hoorah before i go back on meds because i’m still having teeth problems.

and then after that’s done, back to it

smol-fxiry

finished out the antibiotics and now here we are, dr0nk on a thursday night right before i move out lol. it’ll probably only get worse from here esp if i get a job