Smooth Jazz McDonald @smoothjazzmcdonald - Tumblr Blog

when She sends a heart

when She sends a smiley face

when the Other Girl sends a kissy emoji

when’s it my turn :(

when you thought it was just gonna be a silly short little crush but two months later she still shows up in your dreams & makes you smile every time you think about her

god, i wish i had one solid ally.

i’ve literally been sitting around for 6 hours just waiting for this lady to fucking pay me, like, at least communicate with me if there’s some kind of hold up cause, that’s my fucking money you’re fucking with

how many fucking hobbies can i have where upon completion, people either don’t pay in a timely manner, or don’t pay at all

looking completely calm yet suppressing the urge to tear everything in my room apart & throw myself at the wall

just saw somebody say that Hooray for Boobies by the Bloodhound Gang on vinyl was a holy grail find.

i’m leaving facebook

one day, an elevator door will open in front of me, & i’m just gonna forget who i was and step into a new life

trying to keep a calm straight face while everything is falling apart only for something to crush my toe.

some fucken bird sounds scared the shit outta me & it straight up triggered my fight or flight response & my body wanted to fight

i am a scientist but, you wouldn’t know it & i don’t have a degree, but i assure you, i am a scientist.

finally got out of bed but my head feels like i’m not real

i’m just saying if i walked outside, & the ground opened up and swallowed me, i’m not gonna fight it, that’s my time

“i posted this to get a rise out of people” well i fucking stabbed you to get a soul out of you, gtfoh you silly fuck

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