Welcome, Listeners

My name is Cecil Gershwin Palmer- you may know me as the voice of the ever-popular radio show, Welcome to Night Vale. Carlos assisted me in making this blog for the show- isn't he sweet? Ugh, just the sweetest. ((Indie Cecil Baldwin RP blog- I track 'smoothvoice'. Mun is underage, but nsfw is welcome)).

[gaypriori]

give em the ol razzle dazzle

[notlindsay]

fuck this ill date myself damn 

[smoothvoice]

Ella Enchanted Sentence Meme

"Our hero had no choice."

"I gotta work on that."

"She gives the worst gifts!"

"Now, where's the baby?"

"I give you the gift of obedience!"

"Take it back!"

"And if you're going to be ungrateful, I can always turn her into a squirrel."

"I always knew something was wrong with me."

"It's not fair."

"You must never tell anyone else."

"I don't want anyone using it against you."

"What's inside you is stronger than any spell."

"No, I said a man's home is his castle."

"So? He's dreamy!"

"My tongue itches."

"What's not to trust?"

"Are you a fast runner?"

"I don't need your chivalry, thanks."

"Why don't you do what your people usually do? Take my land and destroy my livelihood."

"I'll try to be more considerate next time I'm saving you!"

"What makes you think we'll see each other again?"

"You've been acting a bit odd, even for you."

"Maybe they were put up to it."

"I've done terrible things before, but this is the worst thing the curse has ever made me do."

"This book is my boyfriend."

"Who's this who thinks she's so tough?"

"I'm practiced in the ancient art of...origami."

"I would love to have dinner with you."

"I wanna be a lawyer."

"Because for a minute, I thought I was going crazy."

"They think we're a joke."

"Why? Cause he's a hunk?"

"Keep your mouth shut and don't move."

"Let him/her go!"

"Do you get a kick out of near-death experiences?"

"I'm kidding."

"Nobody should be forced to do things they don't want to do."

"I'm thinking I should come back when there's a little less drinking."

"I guess one more night couldn't hurt."

"I can't tell you what that would mean to me!"

"They say I got a lot of water in my brain."

"You're much prettier than I expected."

"Now I know what name to put on the restraining order."

"I wish I had brothers and sisters."

"Is that almost a compliment?"

"Kiss me."

"I'm not that short!"

"You could have been killed!"

"I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"Get off me!"

"Evil plans, remember?"

"You will take this dagger, plunge it through their heart, and kill them."

"I want to be king."

"We can't be together."

"You are one freaky chick."

"Would you care to dance."

"I'm about to do something horrible to someone I really like and might even love."

"Did I chain your butt to this tree, huh?"

"I just want to talk about us."

"Please tell me you never want to see me again!"

"Then why did you write me that letter?"

"And then you came along."

"I wish I could tell you everything."

"You wrote me a letter that ripped my heart out."

"Will you marry me?"

"What's important is what's in our hearts."

"They'll have to put to death immediately."

"They were just toying with your emotions."

"We have to find a way to get past those guards."

"I could kiss you!"

"Open this door before a sue you for everything you own!"

"Put the nice man down."

"I can't believe I'm saving you after you tried to kill me!"

"I should have disposed of you when I had the chance."

"Marry me?"

"Don't go breaking my heart."

"I gave you my heart."

[smoothvoice]

                    ''Excuse me, ma'am and/or sir! I am looking for my scientist! He is about yay high -- with perfect hair, and flawless teeth, and a voice that is quite like the second to lowest string of a cello. His name is Carlos, have you seen him?''

[862495]

This is real shit right here Dove has always been good at promoting body-image positivity, but they’ve got a new ad. Every time I go to the cinema I get to watch this magnificence in the pre-movie trailers and every time the entire audience gasps. Just watch it ok?

[httpsno]

I HAVE THREE WORDS THAT WILL BRING JOY TO YOUR HEART:

little league quidditch

[smoothvoice]

               ''Oh, Mysterious Lights over Arby's ---- I am unsure of whether or not you are listening, or if you have never listened, or if you have constantly been listening, but please - please - for the sake of all that's good - bring my Carlos back to me.''

[smoothvoice]

      '' -- And it's like, can you not?

                                  Y'know?''

[aprithot-deactivated20150216]

im never telling a white boy i’m egyptian ever again

[nabees2]

[smoothvoice]

person: we're so cute we finish each other's s-

me: -olar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. and wait till you're sitting pretty with a case of andorian shingles. see if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding! space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.

[rneerkat-deactivated20220104]

“you think youre pretty hot stuff dont you?” i sneer at the forest fire. it gets self conscious and starts crying and its own tears put it out. one more forest saved

[thickmints]

OH MY GOD

[itdoesabitthough]

[thefrogman]

[video]

[smoothvoice]

*has emotional breakdown choosing what to eat at a restaurant*

[fuglyselfie]

"We Could Have Named The Song After A Part Of The Chorus But Fuck That" by Panic! at the Disco

[carlos-of-the-perfect-hair-deac]

''CARLOS, THE BABY IS CRYING, MY TEA IS WHISTLING, I'M TRYING TO COOK DINNER, THE HOUSE IS A COMPLETE MESS AND- while I understand that science is a complicated and immensely delicate subject which requires concentration and effort - I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD /HELP/. (Please).''

"I’m coming I’m coming! Just let me put this petri dish away it might be toxic."

[carlos-of-the-perfect-hair-deac]

"You handle dinner, I’ll take his temperature," Carlos assured Cecil soothingly, holding Henry close. "If he’s sick I’ll… I have a sister I can call. She’ll know what to do,"

[smoothvoice]

Raising children in Night Vale was difficult.

Cecil assumed it was this way in most every town, regardless of where you are or who you are -- because kids were kids, right? Yeah. Kids were kids. And sometimes, those kids kept you up at night screaming and crying for something they couldn't request, because they were unable to speak. And sometimes, those kids kept you from getting to work on time. And sometimes -- well, the examples were endless, and that wasn't the point anyway. The point was, kids were kids and taking care of them were hard.

But in Night Vale, there were far more dangers -- your children could be stolen, could be eaten, could be sacrificed, but no-one really did much about that. Cecil, and he assumed the same for Carlos, cared dearly for their child, and so he found it hard to understand the people's lack of worry...

When a few minutes passed, Cecil tipped his head back and shouted to Carlos, who hadn't returned, ''Is he alright? You don't think it could be throat spiders do you? Can babies get throat spiders?''