Genre- Smut, Angst, Fluff (at end I swear) (WARNING! RAPE, CHEATING)
Member- Kim Inseong, Baek Juho/ Zuho
You know those couples people look at and wish they could be? Something everyone wanted to experience. That was what Zuho and I were. It was a love that most people never got to experience, but everyone had dreamed of. We had moved in with each other shortly after high school. He was everything I knew and everything I needed.
When I was sad Zuho was the only one who noticed, the only one who held me when I cried. He was the only person to see all sides of me, all emotions I could possibly go through. No matter what the emotion was, he could calm me down within minutes. He was the one solution that worked every time, my own personal healer, a guardian angel.
I walked into the house, smiling slightly. I had a hard day at work but Zuho was here and would hold me till I forgot it completely… But Zuho’s arms were too occupied to hold me, mouth was too busy to speak words of comfort, eyes-instead of reassuring me that all was okay, were locked on someone else.
I stayed silent, face going blank as my emotions shut down. I spun on my heel and entered the kitchen, hands reached for a glass before pouring the bourbon. My hands shook horribly, some of the hard liquor spilling over the sides of the glass. I kept the bottle in one hand and glass in the other as I walked to the living room and sat on the couch, waiting silently. The liquor was his and stung my throat, burning it like poison. I chuckled. It resembled Zuho pretty well, seemingly innocent but it burns you in the end. I drank the glass as if it was water, unaffected by the pain. I poured another glass.
A sudden realization struck me; I was alone now, no one cared. Who would comfort me now when I could only confide in myself? I poured another glass. Someone who looks me in the eyes everyday and swears to love me forever makes love to another in our bed. I wasn't the most beautiful but I was always convinced by him that I was. He told me he fell for my flaws, but if he loved my flaws why did he find someone else? I poured another glass.
They didn't bother to be quiet and I wondered how many times this would need to happen for both to be comfortable being so loud. It wasn't like I came home early, I came home at the same time everyday. Maybe that was part of the problem. I didn't spice it up, we were too perfect… But I wasn't perfect, far from it and that was why he loved me. If I was perfect what would there be to love? I poured another glass. My throat was numb by now, not the the convenience fazed me. A particularly loud scream caused me to gulp down more of the drink. I poured another glass.
There was silence before footsteps echoed closer.
Zuho looked at me with sheer shock and horror but I couldn't find any guilt in his eyes no matter how hard I looked. “Jaeri..” he whispered.
The girl behind him gave me a bright smile as she strutted over to me. She took the glass out of my hand and chugged the bourbon with ease. After she finished, her tongue danced around the entire rim, teasing me. I clenched my fists, holding in my rage. She handed it back, grabbed the bourbon bottle, and poured more liquor in the glass, “Thanks.” She grinned, moving to blow me a kiss. She pulled Zuho in a one sided lip lock before leaving, the door marking a long silence.
Zuho stood in front of me as I sat, taking a step back as I moved to stand. I dumped the contents of my drink out, the bourbon splashing violently against his face, yet his eyes were still locked on mine. I let out a loud cry, throwing the glass across the room until it hit a wall, shattering upon contact. I threw a pillow at the taller male and he let it hit him square in the chest.
I walked into the kitchen, picking up a dish towel and chucking it at him. As a final touch to my onslaught I threw the salt and pepper shakers, the salt grazing stands of his hair. I took another horrified look at him before walking into the bedroom.
The stench of sex was thick in the air, my nose wrinkling as nausea built in my stomach. My hands ripped at the dirtied sheets, tearing them off the bed. I glided back into the kitchen, shoving the sheets into the garbage can and tying the garbage bag. I slung it in the garage, reminding myself to take it out later.
When I walked back into the house Zuho was waiting for me, speaking for the first time, “She slipped me something, Jaeri, I swear.” He said weakly. If she slipped you something why would it suddenly wear off after he saw me? What position was he in to have someone slip him something in the first place?
“I know you wouldn't do it on purpose.” I lied, gritting my teeth together to keep from yelling. I had dated him for so long that I didn't know what it was like not to. As soon as we graduated we were living together, I had never lived alone. Who would protect me when guys on the street couldn't take no for an answer? Who could I confide in if I broke up with him? So i’ll turn the other cheek, after all- no one is perfect.
A relieved grin spread over his face and he slipped his arms around me to pull me in a hug. The giant bent down to kiss me and I cringed away slightly, but he kept moving in.
When his lips touched mine the only thing running through my head was that her lips were here only mere moments before me. That this may not be the first time i've kissed the same lips as her..
Zuho pushed me on the bed and began to spread my legs. I moved to close them but his legs held mine open as he told me not to be shy. He takes off his clothes and I'm hit with the strong smell of sweat, cheap perfume, and sex. Hickeys are dotted across his skin but I force my eyes to ignore them. I don't look at them but I still see them. He’s grinding against me and moaning but I can't return the feeling of pleasure. I reach to hug him- to desperately grasp some comfort- but I only feel the scratches on his back.
He strips off my clothes while I lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling. Zuho lifts my body and turns it around so he can't see my face. I hear a condom package opening and a sense of panic rushes through me but before I could speak he’s pressing into me and im crying out..
He pushed into me with much effort, “Holy shit, you're tighter than usual.” Zuho commented breathlessly. I let out a cry of pain but he didn't notice, or perhaps he just didn't care. I didn't want this. It didn't feel good in the slightest and I felt tears gather in my eyes from the intense pain. I was tighter because I wasn't wet. How could I be aroused knowing he had slept with someone else less than an hour ago?
He continued thrusting into me, claiming he could loosen me up. I let out a scream of pain, “It's that good Baby? You're not usually this vocal.” He smirked, thinking they were pleased cries. I was sure he tore something. I was sobbing at this point. I didn't want this!
“Stop Zuho!” I whimpered loudly, nails ripping into the mattress.
“Why should I stop if you enjoy it as much as me Baby?” He panted.
“Seriously, Zuho, stop it! Please!” I try to thrash around to throw him off- away- anything to make it stop. He just muttered that he wouldn't do it again and stop being pissy. A few more rough thrusts against the tear and he came.
Zuho pulled out immediately, pulled off the condom, and tossed it in the trash can. He didn't even think of making me cum, not that I wanted him to touch me. It was the realization that he didn't care what I thought. I was a doll, “That was great.” He smiled before cuddling up to my stiff and trembling body, unaware of the tear stains on my cheeks.
As soon as I was sure he fell asleep I pushed his body away and hobbled to the bathroom, wincing on the way. I turned the handle of the shower and carefully stepped in, not even caring about the fact that the water was still cold. I scrubbed roughly at my skin with soap, feeling dirty and used. My nails scraping my skin made some blood appeared but I felt nothing even as scalding water burned into the cuts. I didn't want to smell like her.
I washed between my legs and my thighs. I would have to see a doctor about the intense pain, even though I was sure he tore something. I avoided touching near it and ignored it. Ignored that he could do that to me.
I wasn't ever satisfied with how clean I was, only stopping when I ran out of soap and the cold water became unbearable. I roughly dried myself off, changed into new clothes, and went to sleep on the couch. I just didn't want to touch him or visa versa. I refuse to falsely believe he loved me- cared about me when he didn't. This was the first time in years I fell asleep crying alone, knowing there was no one to turn to.
That I was just another speck of dust in the busy city of Seoul.
I woke up at 5:47 am. I normally took multiple phone alarms to wake me up but now I couldn't sleep. The new- found nightmares haunting me had no one to chase them away, not even the person that caused them.
I sat on the couch for a while before deciding to make breakfast. It would take my mind off things and god did I need something to distract me. I cracked open the eggs with expertise, the sound of them cooking filling my ears. Once they were done I moved on to bacon. The grease bubbled a bit before popping, a drop hitting my hands and I hissed, recoiling. I continued to cook despite the burn, attempting to focus on the wondrous smell of the meat.
The stench hit me before I felt him touch me. Even though her perfume shouldn't have been still there after sleep and sex- if you could call what we did sex- it remained strong.
His arms snaked around my waist and even through my clothes I felt the strong urge to itch at my skin. He never showered. I was pressed against his bare chest, gritting my teeth not to shove him away. He betrayed me but he’s all I have, “I slept better last night then I have in years.” Zuho commented, head resting on my shoulder. I felt a pang in my chest. He slept better when I wasn't there.
“That's great!” I choked out, faking a smile. He didn't notice and I felt another pang. After all these years he couldn't tell when I faked a smile.
“You must have slept well too! You even woke up early to make me breakfast,” he kissed my cheek and I flinched slightly before faking a smile.
I thought time would ebb away the pain, or make the memories dissolve as if they were never there...but they didn't. In fact after two months it hurt just as much to pretend we were still a perfect couple without any issues.
Zuho’s arms were slung across my shoulders, the weight of his arm giving me a restless feeling in my gut. I pretended I didn't feel as antsy as I did, we were with a few friends after all. At least I didn't feel the itching sensation that made me want to claw at my skin anymore.
“So you're telling me that you tried to seduce the police officer?” Chani wheezed, face bright red from laughing so hard.
“What else was I supposed to do, i'm piss poor!” Dawon said, exasperated as he threw his hands in the air.
“It was a guy, you really thought it would work?” My boyfriend laughed, smiling brightly.
“I didn't have much of a choice,” He whined, “Besides I could've sworn he was checking me out!” Everyone was practically crying with laughter, well everyone except me, who was forcing a chuckle.
“He was making sure you didn't have any weapons, Dumbass.” Inseong chuckled. Zuho pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist, making me tense up more than possible at the skinship. Inseong’s laughter quieted down as he looked at me.
“I didn't know that! I'm an idiot!” Dawon cried defensively. I ignored the small change in mood Inseong had. If I acted normal there was nothing to be suspicious of.
“We know.” Youngbin commented. Zuho placed a kiss on my lips, causing me flinch instinctively. I let him kiss me back didn't kiss back, not that he minded. Inseong narrowed his eyes, noticing my reaction and noting it wearily.
“Chill out with the kissing you two,” Dawon scolded, “speaking of kissing, I didn't think he would panic over a small kiss, I didn't even use tongue.”
“Didn't think he would panic? He just wanted to give you ticket not get Herpes.”
“Hey!” Laughter erupted once again and I stood up. Everyone looked at me and I smiled weakly.
“Bathroom.” I said. In the bathroom I quickly splashed my face with cold water and began to wipe my lips. After I was satisfied with it I walked out of the bathroom to join the group again.
Before I had taken three steps, someone grabbed my wrist. I turned, fist raised to hit someone when I saw a familiar face. I let out a deep breath and chuckled slightly in relief, “Inseong, you scared the hell out of me.”
He just looked blankly at me, I held my breath nervously. “Are you okay, Jaeri?” he said simply. I looked at the protectiveness and concern in his eyes, melting a bit.
“I'm okay.” I replied, hands ruffling his hair gently. And through the lie I gave the most genuine smile I had given anyone in two months. Because I found someone who cared, even for a second.
The doorknob fell from my hand gently as I lost my grip. My feet moved slowly, my body weighing as much as an anchor. Tears built steadily in my eyes. He said he wouldn't do it again, he said he wouldn't do her again. I collapsed on the couch, crying loudly as every moan sent an arrow through me.
I heard the front door close and had the sudden realization that the door was still open. I bolted off the couch to look at who was in the house, surprised that it was Inseong. A grocery bag was in his hand, holding beer and chicken. He looked me in the eyes, shocked that I was crying. He dropped the bags and rushed over to me, embracing me in his arms, hands wiping at my tears as he looked at me. “Jaeri why are you crying?” He asked, “Where is-” a loud moan cut him off.
His face went blank as be looked at me, slowly changing to immeasurable fury, “Who the fuck is that.” He said lowly. My bottom lip quivered, a loud groan coming from the bedroom, “That sound like Zuho.” He growled, voice shaking with rage. He moved to storm into the bedroom but I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. He sharply looked back at me, eyes softening significantly when he looked at me, “You're letting him do this?” Inseong sounded broken-hearted.
“Just don't,” I whimpered, gazing at his torn face, “please.” His jaw clenched as he stepped closer to me, pulling me into his arms. That's when I lost it. I was still defending Zuho, even while he was fucking some other girl in our bed.
My hands clenched his shirt and his hands rubbed soothing circles on my back. My tears soaked through his shirt and I felt the most vulnerable i've ever felt in front of someone. I hated it but what was there to love about this situation?
We stood like that for a while, rocking from side to side, and attempting to ignore what was going on a few feet from us. We heard the shuffling sounds of feet, I dug my face further in Inseong’s chest so I didn't have to see their faces again. “-eally need to leave before Jaeri comes ho-” Zuho ushered in his deep voice before stopping abruptly.
I pulled away from my Inseongs chest only to see the same girl from two months ago. Be strong, be the bigger person. I looked up and at Zuho, who looked pale. His hair was a mess, lips red and puffy, with bites covering his bare chest. Fuck being strong- that's being weak. She looked at me and smiles in satisfaction, I smiled back at her, making her face sank into slight confusion, “Was it nice?” I asked sweetly and her smirk returned, still slightly weary.
“It was really good. He enjoyed it more than I did though.” She shrugged simply.
“So what's your name?” I asked, sitting on my couch, relaxed. I held a blank facial expression.
“Is that your real name or alias?” I asked nonchalantly and her face becoming pinched and perplexed.
“What?” She said, voice slightly higher.
“Don't hookers have fake names?” Her teeth clenched together and anger began to fill her eyes.
“I'm not a hooker.” Dasung hissed
“Ahh I see. So you're a call girl then.”
“I'm not.” She growled. I burst into full on knee slapping laughter, Zuho looked concerned, adding to my laughter. Be confused for all I care. We ignored both of the boys.
“So you're actually such a whore that you will sleep multiple times with a man who is dating someone? Woah, you're really pathetic. Do you sleep with the first person who shows interest because you can't get someone on your own? Men can smell your desperation even if you douse yourself in cheap perfume, sweetheart.”
“People hit on me all the time. I just thought that I would try out your boyfriend because an ugly bitch didn't seem to satisfy him.” And there it was, another attempt at a remark meant to make me crumple into a heap of tears but hell if I was going to give her what she wanted again.
“Sorry I don't give out enough to meet a your standards. Now that we got that out, please get out of my house.” I said this as politely as possible.
“I think he’s going to need me a few more times. Maybe I should stay here.” She said, voice strained. She kept pushing and pushing to hurt me, but the numbness had already set in. With every remark she made I felt the urge to hurt her threefold.
“If you want him, you can have him.” This made her proud facade crack further.
“I'm not into relationships.”
“Prostitute, I forgot. Now please get out.”
“I'm not a prostitute and I'm not leaving!” Her face was red with anger as she shrieked at me.
“I'm sorry, I forgot.” I pulled out my wallet, handing a few twenties to her, Is this enough?” She slapped the money out of my hands and I picked it up.
“Shut the fuck up!” She screamed. I held the money out for her again and she slapped it out of my hands for the second time. I picked it up and threw them at her.
“I said, please get out!” I yelled. She moved to slap me but I caught her hand and pinned it to her side. I slapped Dasung hard enough for her to stumble slightly. Tears ran down her cheeks as she walked out of the house, stilettos clacking loudly. I now turned to look at Zuho, “Why.”
“I was drunk.” He whispers.
Inseong clenched his jaw, stepping in, “And you suddenly aren't drunk?” He hissed.
“I sobered up and stopped once I realized. I can't control myself when i'm drunk, Jaeri you know this!” He plead, begging me to believe him.
“Then stop fucking drinking Zuho!” The other man roared, stepping closer to him. Zuho opened his mouth to say something but before he could Inseong threw a solid punch to his cheekbone. A startled gasp flew from my lips as a blood began to drip from my boyfriends face. The ring Inseong wore had cut his cheek.
The brown haired male moved to pull me out of the apartment but Zuho took a hold of his forearm. Tears fell down from his cheeks and he gazed deeply into my eyes “ Jaeri, please stay. Im sorry, im so sorry!” He gasped.
“If you were sorry then you wouldn't do it again!” I yelled.
“No you didn't!” I wanted to forget that it ever happened not relive the experience. Once was enough, I didn't need more!
“I JUST WANTED SOMEONE WHO COULD TOUCH ME WITHOUT DISGUST!” He cried.
“I WAS TRYING!” I screamed. I could have left but I tried to pretend it didn't happen, I just...couldn't.
“That doesn't explain why he did it the first time!” Inseong growled, glaring at him.
“You can't just not think about that after so many years with Jaeri!” They each took a step forward when they spoke.
“BECAUSE I WAS BORED OKAY!” Zuho bellowed.
“YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU CAN'T JUST DECIDE YOU’RE BORED ZUHO, WHAT THE FUCK!”
“WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER TO YOU, YOU’RE MY FRIEND!”
“BECAUSE I LOVED HER FIRST!” Inseong howled, “I loved her first...I watched her from afar when she was upset. When you were screwing girls I looked at her and tried to bring myself to talk to her! And the day I went to comfort her you got there first. You met her first and comforted her first but I was the one who loved her first! I didn't fight for her because I thought you would treat her like a princess! If I knew from the beginning you would do this I would never have let you come near her.” And with that I was dragged out of the apartment and into a car. The engine of the car roared as he sped down the road. His fingers were white from how hard he held the steering wheel and his jaw was clenched angrily as he stared at the road ahead.
Inseong didn't calm down till we were in his house and even then he attempted to pamper me as much as possible, all his anger turned into concern for me. He wrapped me in puffy blankets and set a hot chocolate in from of me, marshmallows and all, “How can I help you? How can I make you forget about that ass?” He asked, looking sincerely into my eyes.
“Revenge. I want you to make me forget that he ever touched me and made me happy.” He looked into my eyes, checking to see if I meant it. I did. His hands slowly moved to my face, cupping my cheeks. He slowly leaned in to press his lips against mine. I had never looked at Inseong closely and didn't expect his lips to be as soft as they were. I was embarrassed for a moment about how chapped and cracked my lips were but he didn't seem to notice and nor did he care. He was gentle; something Zuho hadn't been in a while- or now that I thought about it, he hadn't been gentle for years.
I shoved the blankets off the couch and walked over to the chair he sat in. I sat on his lap, my legs on both sides of him. I placed his hands on my hips, slowly dragging them up my sides. He got what I was hinting at, moving his hands freely. They moved over my hip bones, over my stomach, under the back of my shirt. His fingers slowly worked to unclip my bra, throwing it aside after he finished. He helped me pull my shirt over my head yet never glanced at my exposed skin.
His eyes were focused on my own, staring at me adoringly with a passionate undertone. He kept the eye contact as he pressed a chaste kiss on each of my boobs.
He pressed his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. His gentle hands began to roam, making sure to touch every centimeter of hot flesh. They traced around my breast, squeezing slightly. His palms were now over my nipples, kneading gently as I moaned. His hands moved to my back, sliding down on each side of my spine till they reached the dip of my back. He was almost hugging me, our bodies pressed together hotly. They moved back to the front, tracing over my hip bones. His hands moved down slightly, thumbs moving into the waistband of my skirt then into my panties. He slowly pulled both of the garments down. My legs stepped out of them, kicking them aside. His hands went back onto my flesh, moving from my calves up and sliding under my butt.
He reached over to the side table, pulling out a condom. The man opened it and tugged it down onto his dick, “Are you sure you want to do this?” Inseong’s pupils were blown as he asked.
“Yes, im sure.” I confirmed, eyes hooded slightly with lust.
I slowly sank down on Inseong’s cock, the slow stretch something I enjoyed for once. I didn't let Zuho touch me for so long, my frustration was turning into dripping lust. Inseong seemed like just the person to give me what I craved.
I didn't wait, starting to bounce on him despite the pain of the stretch and mental trauma from the tear Zuho gave me. It had healed but a mental scar remained. Sensing this, Inseong grabbed my hips and held then down. I looked at him, confused “What are you doing?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, peppering gentle kisses to the space between my breasts.
“You're in pain. Both people need to be happy to make love and if you're in pain you're not happy. Don't push yourself.” He murmured softly against my flesh. My heart warmed and I smiled.
He pressed his lips to mine, tongue pushing through my lips and electricity surged through me. His tongue stroked mine, exploring the inside of my mouth fully. He tilted his head to deepen it slightly.
Inseong only pulled away after our bodies were crying for air. He moved to my neck, nothing at the skin and littering my skin with hickeys. I felt him rock his hips slightly, suddenly remembering that I was sitting on his cock. That he had distracted me until he was sure the pain vanished and even then he was rocking into me gently.
Soft moans and pants left my lips as I felt a sensation I hadn't experienced before. It wasn't pleasure alone, it was love. For once I felt loved while having sex.
He began to rock harder, hips pushing up slightly to reach deeper. I began to move my hips at the rate of his thrusts, making the feelings rock though our bodies. Inseong and I moaned simultaneously.
His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling our bodies flush together as he speared into me. My heart fluttered slightly. He picked up his phone, opening up the camera. He clicked the record button.
His hips moved in a flash, bouncing me up and down. I moaned loudly as he roughly hit my G spot. He stopped thrusting and I whimpered in protest, “You're going to have to take control, Baby.” Inseong groaned.
I planted my feet on the floor and began to bounce on his cock, grinding on him every time I got to the base of it. I angled myself so that when I sunk down I hit my G spot. I cried out louder, back arching. “Inseong im so close!” I cried, nails pressing into his back. Inseong stopped recording.
He held one of my hips down and began to thrust very slowly, “You can't come quite yet, Baby. Now are you fine with me sending that video of me fucking you to Zuho?” He asked while I moaned. I nodded my head quickly. Inseong clicked his tongue, “That's not going to work baby girl, I need verbal consent.” He chided.
“Yes, yes you can send it to him! Hurry!” I cried, trying to bounce down on him and failing. He sent it and looked at me with satisfaction.
“You can't cum until he see’s it. He has to see how pretty you look riding me.” Inseong tutted, thrusting gently. I rocked against him, desperate for more. It seemed to go on for hours, working myself to get close before being denied the right. Inseong suddenly grinned before he thrusted up roughly. I cried out in joy as I was filled perfectly to the brim. A happy smile rested on my lips as I was bounced from the thrusts, my boobs jiggling slightly from the force.
I tried to hold in the orgasm that bubbled in me, pulling Inseong into a messy kiss. He pulled away, a trail of saliva connecting our lips, “Cum.” He groaned, thrusting into me at a fast rate. He pressed against my G spot, abusing it over and over again. His hands rubbed my back soothingly. My eyes closed in pleasure as I screamed out. Inseong silenced me with a kiss as we came together.
We panted for a moment before he lifted me up and placed me back on the couch, wrapping me in blankets once again. He kissed my hair, stroking it gently. He was quiet for a while before he spoke up, but even then he was quiet, “ Jaeri, do you-” he paused, “regret what we just did?” I thought about it for a moment.
There was finally another person who cared about me and wanted me to feel safe. Maybe he was the only one who cared all along. And now that I noticed him how could I forget him? “No, I don't think I do. If anything I think this is the first thing in a while I haven't regretted.”
