but how else can you sexualize the women if you donât give them armored boob pods!!!!
Also, breastplates are shaped to redirect the tip of a sword or spear to the side. Boobplates would redirect the weapon right into the middle of the womanâs chest.
This topic pops up (or the subjects of the topic pop out) every now and again. Something to remember is that itâs easier for an illustrator on a deadline (check comics costumes) to start with a basic nude then add enough ânot-naked-honestlyâ colours and patterns to make it fit for print.
Thatâs (IMO) the technical reason for boob-plates, chainmail bikinis and all the rest, but then come the excuses and justifications about âlightnessâ, âmobilityâ and âdistractionâ. Iâve said before that Red Sonja could strip to the buff and any opponent who knew her reputation would still pay more attention to her sword that all the flesh on show. Naked T&A arenât as dangerous as naked steel.
And why is it always boob-plates? Why not bum-plates? Thereâs actual historical precedent for thoseâŠ
Hereâs another commentary on boob-plates; hereâs yet another; and hereâs a rebuttal to that one from someone who knows rather less than he thinks he does. Some of his original post made sense, but his reply to a comment destroyed his credibility in 17 words:
âAnd yes a mace, morning star or hammer would cause some damage but it wont kill youâ.
Facepalm. Headdesk. Of course they bloody well would! Why else were they carried in battle? As flyswatters or back-scratchers?
Theyâd do it without going through the armour, too. Theyâd crush and dent the plate, theyâd ruin the joint articulation and the wearerâs mobility, theyâd transmit impact shock into tissue and organs, bones and jointsâŠ
Look up âblunt force traumaâ, âconcussionâ, âcoup-contrecoup injuryâ, âinternal haemorrhageâ, âdepressed skull fractureâ and indeed any number of other fractures, and all the many other ways in which apparently-well-protected human beings can come to harm. If that can be the result of accident, think about deliberate assault with a weapon designed to negate the protection and wielded by someone trained to use it to best effect.
A man in full plate harness getting seriously done over by a percussion weapon, like the mace, morning-star or hammer dismissed so lightly, would suffer injuries similar to a car crash. But in this crash, the âother carâ would be taking deliberate aim at the places where impact would do most harm, and that full plate harness would be proper armour meant for battlefield use to avert injury if possible, not some Vegas showgirl âlook at the boobiesâ nonsense. It might help.
One well-placed blow of his mace, hammer, whatever, against the back of your gauntlet hasnât damaged the steel, but the impact shock though the metacarpal bones has made you drop your sword. It hurts like hell and distracts you enough that you donât avoid the next one, delivered low against your knee. Again the armour holds, but its joint and that of the leg within snap sideways in a direction it was never meant to go. Cartilage rips, your kneecap pops loose, ligaments tear free of bone, the leg buckles and you crash to the ground. You wrench up your visor to yell âQuarter!â, but his next blow is already on its way as you sprawl. It starts high above his head and ends against your helmet. The helmetâs as well made as everything else youâre wearing, it doesnât shatter or split, but its metal crushes so much that the dent caves in your skull. If youâre lucky, if youâre unaware of whatâs about to happen, the lights will just go out. Otherwise the last thing you ever see, coming down hard and fast, is one of theseâŠ
ââŠwont kill you.â Yeah, right.
Deeep breath. Okay. Better.
Hereâs real boob-plate armourâŠ
