Snake Swag Bracket

Finding the greatest, swaggiest snake on Earth

[snakeswagbracket]

Give it up for the winner of our competition, the snake that is absolutely dripped out with style, the absolutely positively MOST SWAG SNAKE:

WHITE LIPPED PYTHON!!

Dear white lipped python, is it any wonder that you have breezed through this competition? The fantastic iridescence across your black scales, the white markings on your mouth, and your impressive yet still manageable typical size of 7ft make you an amazing, stylish snake no matter what angle we are looking from. Congratulations on your well deserved win, you gorgeous, swagged out snake!!

[snakeswagbracket]

Snake Swag Bracket Award Masterlist

Bracket Winner: White Lipped Python

Superlatives:

Tessera Corn Snake

Smooth Snake

Mangrove Snake

Blue Racer

Dwarf Burmese Python

Blue Malayan Coral Snake

Solomon Island Ground Boa

San Francisco Garter Snake

False Water Cobra

Ball Python

Indonesian Pit Viper

Reticulated Python

Copperhead

Kenyan Sand Boa

Golden Tree Snake

African Egg Eating Snake

Black Mamba

Eastern Yellowbelly Racer

Hognose Snake

Sidewinder

Albino Corn Snake

Northern Water Snake

Timber Rattlesnake

Eastern Indigo Snake

Green Anaconda

Blue Lipped Sea Krait

Brazilian Rainbow Boa

Eastern Speckled Kingsnake

Gopher Snake

Keeled Slug Eating Snake

Bonus Poll Winner: Glass Lizard

[salamandershowdown]

Salamander Showdown!!

Hi, everyone! This is a poll bracket for salamanders, from real life! A couple of rules:

1. Must be a member of the order Caudata! (Salamanders.)

2. Must be real only, no fictional salamanders! Sorry. :(

3. Please do not submit your pets (but feel free to submit their species and send us pictures of them!)

4. Be nice to each other and to the salamanders! I am not afraid to block anyone being rude, we’re all here to have fun and celebrate our slippery friends.

Submission form is here!

Submissions will remain open until 11:59 PM EST, Friday, March 17th (or if we get a high number of responses before then; we are college students and don’t want to get too overwhelmed!).

tagging a few blogs who inspired this bracket!

@whaleswagbracket @sharkshowdown @wild-cat-showdown @cryptidshowdown @snakeswagbracket @may-the-best-penguin-win @amphibianaday

[cryptidshowdown]

ROUND ONE MATCHUP FOUR: CLASSICS

Here we've got two of the most popular cryptids pitted against one another! I know we'd all love to see everyone go home a winner, but alas, we have to release one champ back into the wild early. (I don't have a source for popularity, this is just My Personal Feeling(TM).)

We have the LOCH NESS MONSTER up in this round! Nessie, as she is affectionately known, is originally from Scotland. However, there are many very similar tales from other locations, so feel free to think of her as a species including such favorites as Champ and Bessie. Anywho, Nessie is thought to be a plesiosaur that somehow survived extinction in the loch. Or maybe she's an eel, or some other kind of big fish. Or a log. Either way, she's been a media darling for decades!

We've also got the JACKALOPE in this round! Jackalopes are native to the American west. They're synonymous with cowboys, deserts, and sunsets (no? fine, maybe just in my mind). You get what you pay for here: it's a wild bunny with antlers. Straightforward. Unfortunately, the origins of this cryptid might be from wild rabbits infected with a form of papilloma virus that causes antler-like growths on their heads. Google at your own risk. Regardless, they are quite popularly depicted in the media, so a worthy opponent to be sure!

Which classic takes home the win?

Loch Ness Monster

Jackalope

Voting ended onMar 13, 2023

Nessie photo source Jackalope photo source Jackalope virus source

(tbh I spend a lot of time thinking about cryptids and listening to cryptid podcasts and etc. and so forth... so there might not always be a lot of sources... because I can't cite my own brain. if I think I'm saying something that needs extra credibility I will go out of my way to find a source.)

[babcakes4n]

H is for Hodag! Known around it’s home state of Wisconsin as a fearsome critter with bull-like horns and thick spines down back. . . . . #drawlloween2020 #cryptid #hodag #artistontumblr #artistsoninstagram #babcakes https://www.instagram.com/p/CGJVKgtjnlR/?igshid=krwsj0aw21zd

[snakeswagbracket]

Everyone put your hands together for the tessera corn snake! We have celebrated the voracious appetite of the delightful corn snake already, but today we cheer on a very special boy indeed--my boy, Bolo! With beautiful orange, black, and yellow markings, forming checkers down your sides and a chainlink down your back, who could deny that you are a gorgeous creature?? And, as with almost every corn snake I have ever heard of or encountered myself, with a calm, friendly, and curious temperament that is every bit as wonderful as your looks! And so to the tessera corn snake, we very proudly give you the BEAUTIFUL BOLO award!

[snakeswagbracket]

Let us give a warm welcome to the smooth snake! Small, shy, and quick, you can be quite a difficult find out in your native range, but what a treat it always is to come upon you! Your beautiful dark and light browns give you wonderful camouflage down among the grass and leaf litter. And, of course, you always come equipped with your very own crown, that lovely dark marking on your head even inspiring the name of your genus Coronella--taken from coronet! Oh, wonderful smooth snake, for your regal appearance it is clear that you have earned the Snake Swag Bracket's ROYAL CROWN award!

[snakeswagbracket]

Everyone say hello to the mangrove snake! It is always a treat to see one of our wonderful rear-fanged venomous colubrids--although there is much debate over whether they should be referred to as venomous at all, as you and other rear-fanged venomous snakes don't have venom glands at all, but rather a Duvernoy's gland that is still being studied by biologists to see how to classify the toxins you secrete! Dear mangrove snake, you are an excellent example of the fascinating hunting tools and tactics found amongst different snakes, and you display it all while looking simply stunning! Your black and yellow bands are without question a gorgeous contrast, and as such we happily declare you Snake Swag Bracket's BANDED BEAUTY!

[snakeswagbracket]

Now let us turn our attention to the blue racer! With your beautiful blue scales and wonderful black mask, you are a very handsome snake indeed. And a sighting of you in the wild is always a treat, as you are shy, elusive, and--as your name implies--fast! We respect that you want very little to do with humans--we are very loud, after all, with a tendency to want to fawn over sweet animals such as yourself!--and we shall simply send a wave and a kiss out to the more remote prairies and fields that you prefer to make your home in. It is our honor, blue racer, to give to you the Snake Swag Bracket's MARVELOUS MISANTHROPE award!

[snakeswagbracket]

A great big hello to the dwarf Burmese python! You are another wonderful example of adapting to suit your environment, typically growing to about half of your mainland relatives' size to better account for the smaller prey--and smaller space--found in your native island homes. Although an average of 8ft still gives you an impressive size compared to many snakes, and coupled with your generally friendly, easygoing attitude it's no wonder there is growing demand amongst reptile keepers! Dwarf Burmese python, we could not be more thrilled to give to you the Snake Swag Bracket's PINT SIZED POWER award!

[snakeswagbracket]

I can't figure out how to send an ask from a side blog, but hello, it is I, Cryptidshowdown! Thank you so much for sharing my R1 matchups <3 I'm excited to see how your snake swag bracket ends up! These final two contestants are both so beautiful and great!

@cryptidshowdown I'm happy to help lol and thank YOU for putting this bracket together!! I love seeing some cryptid rep, and I am delighted to be introduced to the Tsuchinoko!! How I have gone this long without being aware of the fat, jumping snake who tells you lies in order to scam free booze is beyond me but now that I do know about him he is officially (one of) my top creechers of all time for sure!

[snakeswagbracket]

What a marvelous surprise, here we have a visit from the blue Malayan coral snake! With your stunning blue and red scales, it is immediately obvious why people love you so! And in addition to your spectacular looks, you are very well equipped to go out on the hunt, with venom glands that stretch 25% of your body length--the longest venom glands of any snake! And those venom glands aren't just for show, producing potent venom that paralyses its prey almost instantly after injection. Your venom even goes to work in the lab for us humans, and is currently being studied as potentially useful for chronic pain management! For your extra large, extra hard working venom system we proudly give you Snake Swag Bracket's SUPER CHARGED award!

[snakeswagbracket]

Hello to the Solomon Island ground boa! A delightful little animal, and such a wonderful example of evolution in action! Your big boa ancestors looked around and found themselves on a small island, with small prey, and small predators, and eventually they looked back at themselves and found a small boa! We love your keeled scales, your gorgeous diamond patterning, and of course you wonderfully narrow, triangular head to help you dig burrows in the forest floor! We declare you, with much love, as Snake Swag Bracket's LIL BITTY BOA!

(This particular lil' bitty boa pictured above also has the distinct honor of being my lil' bitty BORIS boa! Hello Boris! We love you!!)

[snakeswagbracket]

San Francisco garter snake, you fought an excellent fight in this tournament, making it all the way to swaggiest runner up! And no one can deny that you are positively dripping with style in your positively stunning blue and red coloring! But today we've come to honor you for your sweet social demeanor! Snakes that will tolerate being cohabed are rare to come by, so what a delight to find the garter snakes, that not only put up with each other but by many accounts do better when they are kept with other garters! And on top of that, to learn that studies suggest garter snakes will form friendships with a specific snake or two within the larger group?? San Francisco garter snake, it is with pleasure that we grant you the Snake Swag Bracket's BUDDY SYSTEM award!

[snakeswagbracket]

Hello to the beautiful false water cobra! We always love to see a great big colubrid, and with lengths up to 9-10 ft you definitely qualify! Not to mention your wonderful hood that you display when you need to look like you're extra big and tough, like the cobra of your namesake! Threat displays like this are fantastically clear ways to communicate when you are feeling stressed and upset and need the human cooing over you to take some big steps back! But today we're not here to talk about that fantastic hood, but rather what's underneath it! Reptile keepers around the world enthuse about just how incredibly smart and inquisitive you are, a delight to watch as you actively explore your environment, and a rewarding companion to bond with! For your admirable intellect, we gladly present to you Snake Swag Bracket's BRAINIAC award!

[cryptidshowdown]

ROUND ONE MATCHUP THREE: HUMANOIDS

We have two vaguely-human-ish-looking cryptids in this matchup! Let's meet our contenders.

First, we have the SKUNK APE. This is one of those Bigfoot relatives, looks like a human-shaped ape creature of sorts. This one is native to the swamps of the American southeast. As you'd expect with the name, they are known for their stench. The legends go back over 100 years, with local indigenous groups apparently having sighted it. The most famous photo is from a family who claimed a Skunk Ape invaded their backyard in 2000.

Next, the MELONHEADS, natives of the American midwest. They have a bit of a darker tale. The Melonheads are apparently children who were being treated for "hydrocephaly" (water head) before their hospital was closed and they were just... Released into the wild. Now they roam around with their oversize heads, occasionally attacking unsuspecting passersby for reasons unknown.

Which humanoid will take the cake?

Skunk Ape

Melonheads

Voting ended onMar 13, 2023

Skunk Ape info Skunk Ape photo source Melonheads info Melonheads photo source

[cryptidshowdown]

ROUND ONE MATCHUP FOUR: CLASSICS

Here we've got two of the most popular cryptids pitted against one another! I know we'd all love to see everyone go home a winner, but alas, we have to release one champ back into the wild early. (I don't have a source for popularity, this is just My Personal Feeling(TM).)

We have the LOCH NESS MONSTER up in this round! Nessie, as she is affectionately known, is originally from Scotland. However, there are many very similar tales from other locations, so feel free to think of her as a species including such favorites as Champ and Bessie. Anywho, Nessie is thought to be a plesiosaur that somehow survived extinction in the loch. Or maybe she's an eel, or some other kind of big fish. Or a log. Either way, she's been a media darling for decades!

We've also got the JACKALOPE in this round! Jackalopes are native to the American west. They're synonymous with cowboys, deserts, and sunsets (no? fine, maybe just in my mind). You get what you pay for here: it's a wild bunny with antlers. Straightforward. Unfortunately, the origins of this cryptid might be from wild rabbits infected with a form of papilloma virus that causes antler-like growths on their heads. Google at your own risk. Regardless, they are quite popularly depicted in the media, so a worthy opponent to be sure!

Which classic takes home the win?

Loch Ness Monster

Jackalope

Voting ended onMar 13, 2023

Nessie photo source Jackalope photo source Jackalope virus source

(tbh I spend a lot of time thinking about cryptids and listening to cryptid podcasts and etc. and so forth... so there might not always be a lot of sources... because I can't cite my own brain. if I think I'm saying something that needs extra credibility I will go out of my way to find a source.)

[snakeswagbracket]

Y'all I know Nessie has an excellent PR team but please consider this about the jackalope: I love him