Story idea: (sanemi x spouse reader) hashira’s training arc! In which tanjiro and zenitsu are doing reader’s hashira training and zenitsu is fawning over her like praising and getting in too close like he’s about to give a hug then tanjiro quickly pulls him back because little did zenitsu know sanemi saw zenitsu getting close to her and now he’s going 10x harder on zenitsu making him go through the hardest training of his life😭😭
— hashira training trouble.
pairing: fem!readerxsanemi
a/n: omg i LOVE writing with tanjiro and zenitsu included
The training yard buzzed with noise as the next round of Hashira training began. You stood at the center, arms folded loosely, your haori swaying in the breeze. Despite the seriousness of training, your calm smile made you look more like a gentle instructor than one of the Corps’ strongest.
Across from you, Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, and a few Corps members stood at attention, sweat already dripping down their faces from the morning drills.
“Alright,” you said warmly, your voice carrying that gentle authority you always had. “This session will be about coordination and stamina. Remember—don’t force your breathing. Let it flow. We’ll start light.”
“Yes, _______-sama!” Tanjiro answered immediately, eyes burning with determination.
Zenitsu, however, was already spiraling. His face turned beet red as he threw his hands up dramatically. “L-Light?! Are you kidding me?! You’re too kind and beautiful to even say the word light training!”
You blinked in surprise at his words.
“_______-sama!” he cried, throwing his arms wide, tears already sparkling in his eyes. “I swear I have never seen someone as radiant as you! You’re like the goddess of the Corps! You’re more beautiful than all the festival lanterns combined!”
You were caught off guard. “Zenitsu—”
“I’ll do any training you want! Ten laps? A HUNDRED!? I’ll even fight demons barehanded if it means earning your praise!” He clutched his chest like he’d been struck by lightning, staggering closer on shaky legs. “Every breath I take is only for you, ________-sama!”
“Zenitsu!” Tanjiro hissed, grabbing him by the collar and attempting to yank him back before his life expectancy could plummet. “Stop it! You can’t just—!”
“And if I die training under you, then let my tombstone say: Here lies Zenitsu Agatsuma, struck down by love for the most beautiful Hashira!”
Zenitsu practically dropped to his knees, reaching out to take your hand in both of his like if you were a goddess descended from the heavens.
And that was when the temperature of the yard dropped about twenty degrees.
From the far side of the grounds, Sanemi Shinazugawa was glowering. His arms were crossed, his shoulders tense, and the veins at his temple looked like they were about to burst. His pale eyes locked on Zenitsu’s hands inching toward yours, and the air practically vibrated with the rage radiating off of him.
Tanjiro, who’d noticed just in time, started to freak out as he continued to yank Zenitsu by the collar before he could make contact. “Zenitsu! Don’t—!”
“YOU!!” Sanemi’s roar rattled the training yard like a thunderclap.
Zenitsu yelped, his soul leaving his body at the sheer volume. “WAHH!! ”
Sanemi was already stomping across the yard, his aura so murderous even the other Corps members cowered in fear. He pointed a trembling, scarred finger at Zenitsu, his voice raw with fury. “You got a death wish, brat?! Throwin’ yourself at my wife in front of me?!”
“W-WIFE?!” Zenitsu shrieked, his eyes bulging out of his head.
“Damn right!” Sanemi snarled, closing the distance so fast Zenitsu tripped backwards. “And you—pathetic little worm—thought you could touch her?!”
“I DIDN’T KNOW!” Zenitsu wailed, scrambling across the dirt on his hands and knees. “PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! I WOULD NEVER! I SWEAR ON MY LIFE!”
Sanemi’s feet slammed into the ground an inch from Zenitsu’s leg, making him scream. He grabbed him by his hair, forcing the poor blond to look up at him. “You’ve got the balls to shout her name like a prayer and reach for her hand?! I’LL PUT YOU THROUGH TRAINING SO HARD YOU’LL BEG ME TO KILL YOU INSTEAD!”
Zenitsu sobbed, tears and snot pouring down his face as he practically flew behind Tanjiro. “TANJIRO, HELP ME!”
Tanjiro winced. “EH? I—I don’t—”
“WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?!” Zenitsu howled as he began to shake him violently. “I’M ABOUT TO GET MURDERED AND YOU CAN’T HELP ME?!”
Sanemi grabbed him by the collar, hauling him into the air like a ragdoll. “From now on, you’re doin’ double the drills. Triple. You so much as look at her, and I’ll quadruple it. You got that?!”
Zenitsu’s limbs flailed like a dying insect. “YES, YES, I UNDERSTAND, PLEASE PUT ME DOWN!”
Sanemi’s pale eyes narrowed, his voice thunderous. “You try grovelin’ louder than you were flirtin’, huh?! PATHETIC!”
Zenitsu’s face went slack mid-wail, his eyes rolling back dramatically as his entire body went limp. A loud, drawn-out WAAAAAHHHH left his mouth before he fainted completely, arms dangling like wet noodles.
Sanemi blinked once, glaring at the unconscious blond. “…Damn brat.”
You stepped forward quickly, your hand touching Sanemi’s arm. “Sanemi. That’s enough.”
Sanemi clicked his tongue in frustration. With a grunt, he yanked Zenitsu back and flung him down without ceremony.
Unfortunately, Tanjiro had been hovering nearby, trying to figure out how to intervene.
“Wait—!” he yelped as Zenitsu’s limp body was dropped directly on top of him.
The two boys crashed to the dirt in a tangle of limbs, Zenitsu sprawled across Tanjiro like a sack of rice.
“OOMPH!” Tanjiro gasped, face full of dust.
Zenitsu, still unconscious, let out a pathetic whimper and drooled all over Tanjiro’s uniform.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, fighting not to laugh at the ridiculous sight: Zenitsu was out cold, twitching occasionally as he mumbled nonsense about angels and love. Tanjiro was crouched beside him, trying to keep him from inhaling dirt while also catching his own breath. A handful of junior Corps members who’d been training under you stood frozen nearby, eyes wide, too terrified to even breathe loudly after witnessing Sanemi go nuclear.
Sanemi stood front and center, chest puffed out like he’d just declared war and won it. His scars caught the afternoon light, his pale eyes still blazing with fury even though his victim was already unconscious.
You walked up beside him calmly, the picture of grace against his barely-contained chaos. You looked at him, then at Zenitsu sprawled on the ground, then back at him. Your lips curved.
“You do realize you just revealed to everyone here that I’m your wife, right?”
The words hit harder than any demon could.
Sanemi froze. Completely. His arms dropped stiffly, his face snapped toward you, and in the exaggerated silence that followed, you could practically hear the gears grinding in his head. His face turned bright red, his jaw slack.
“W-WHAT?!” His voice cracked like a teenager’s, making a couple of the junior slayers flinch. “I DIDN’T—! YOU—DAMMIT, ________!”
You tilted your head, smile widening. “You said it several times. Loudly.”
Tanjiro, still kneeling with Zenitsu’s limp body draped over his lap, nodded sheepishly. “You did, Mr. Shinazugawa. We all… definitely heard it.”
A collective murmur rippled through the Corps members — wide-eyed whispers of “Wife? He has a wife?!” “She’s married to him?!” “That explains so much—!”
Sanemi whipped toward them, veins bulging at his temple. “SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!”
The slayers stiffened like they’d been struck by lightning, snapping to rigid attention, sweat dripping down their temples.
You covered your mouth with your sleeve, your shoulders shaking with laughter you tried — and failed — to stifle.
Sanemi rounded back on you, still scarlet, sputtering like a kettle about to blow. “And you—! You think this is funny, huh?! Just lettin’ everyone know—!”
“Yes,” you cut in smoothly, your eyes twinkling. “I think it’s very funny.”
Sanemi groaned, dragging both scarred hands down his face in exasperation. “Kill me now.”
Right on cue, Zenitsu stirred, his head lolling toward you as he let out a dreamy sigh. “…_______-sama… my angel…”
Sanemi twitched. His head snapped toward the blond’s unconscious form, murder radiating off of him like a storm.
“YOU LITTLE—!” He stomped forward like he was about to punt Zenitsu into the stratosphere.
“Sanemi!” You grabbed his arm just in time, your laughter bubbling over now. “Leave him be, he’s passed out.”
Tanjiro held up his hands quickly, Zenitsu still drooling on his lap. “Please, Mr. Shinazugawa! He’s learned his lesson! More than learned it!”
Sanemi huffed like a furious bull, storming away a few paces before turning back, pointing dramatically at Zenitsu’s limp body. “Next time he so much as looks at you, I’ll put him through drills ‘til he pukes blood!”
The Corps members collectively sweatdropped, Tanjiro gave a long suffering sigh, and you just laughed harder, your smile softening as you glanced at you husband — red-faced, furious, and absolutely yours.
Before your husband could bark another threat, you rose on your toes and pressed a soft kiss to his scarred cheek.
Every single person in the training yard froze solid. Tanjiro’s jaw literally dropped, his eyes sparkling in shock. The junior Corps members collectively gasped, some dropping their bokken as though they’d just witnessed divine intervention.
Zenitsu, who had been unconscious and drooling a heartbeat ago, sprang to life like a resurrected corpse. His eyes bulged, his mouth fell open, and he let out a shriek so loud a crow outside cawed in alarm.
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Sanemi stood perfectly still, his face frozen in shock, ears burning crimson, every scarred inch of him screaming short-circuit. His lips parted, but no words came out, only a strangled noise somewhere between a growl and a squeak.
You, entirely unfazed, stepped back with a serene smile. “Sanemi, I need to resume training.” Your voice was sweet, melodic — but your eyes narrowed playfully as you added, “So unless you plan to run drills for everyone yourself, I suggest you leave.”
He blinked, still dazed. “Tch—I ain’t—”
“And if you don’t,” you continued smoothly, tilting your head, “I won’t be spending the night with you. Or making your favorite food tomorrow. Or giving you your massage after patrol.”
Every Corps member present nearly fell over.
The junior slayers whispered furiously among themselves. “Massage?!” “Favorite food?!” “Spending the night?!”
Zenitsu keeled over dramatically, clutching his chest. “________-SAMA, HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE US!”
Sanemi’s face went from scarlet to near purple, his voice breaking as he barked at Zenitsu, “SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH BEFORE I—”
You simply raised an eyebrow, your smile never faltering. “Well?”
He froze, his pale eyes darting between your threateningly sweet smile and the audience of wide-eyed slayers waiting to see if he’d explode again. With a hissed curse, he spun on his heel and stomped off toward the gates, muttering every profanity in existence under his breath.
Behind him, the yard erupted — Tanjiro laughing nervously, the junior slayers gossiping in disbelief, and Zenitsu sobbing dramatically into the dirt.
You clapped your hands once, your voice gentle but commanding. “Alright. Back to training.”
As if nothing had happened at all.
Zenitsu dragged his feet down the path to the next Hashira training assignment, muttering to himself with dead eyes. His hair was still a mess, dirt smudged across his cheeks, and his uniform looked like it had survived three natural disasters.
“I almost died…” he whimpered, clutching the folded paper in his hand. “_______-sama was an angel, but… but Mr. Shinazugawa… he’s a DEMON. He’s a monster in human skin! I can’t do this again! I won’t survive another day!”
He unfolded the paper with trembling hands, reading aloud to himself. “Next… training… Wind Hashira.”
His pupils shrank to pinpricks. His knees buckled. A single high-pitched squeak left his throat as his hands shook so hard the paper nearly slipped from his fingers.
Zenitsu shrieked so loud birds exploded from the trees overhead, his whole body going rigid as he turned in slow horror.
Sanemi was right behind him, scarred face twisted into a wicked grin, pale eyes gleaming with murderous glee. His cracked knuckles flexed, his voice low and gravelly.
“Don’t worry, brat. I saved my special drills just for you.”
Zenitsu let out a scream that echoed across the mountain. “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—!!!”
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