boy & gold turned bronze ; oh, how it shines, this fake luster

he had the world, but it fell at his feet. / HWANG TAEYI, TWENTY-SIX, DARLING.

[sntaeyi]

oop i think i'm late to the party but hi everyone! im eun and this is HWANG TAEYI (26, ‘the yaup’), newly licensed pharmacist and professional faker! aka fallen prince of a short-lived empire that left him bitter and obsessive over what used to be. you can find his stats here and his bio here! i’ll also leave some headcanons under the cut. you can give this post a like to plot and/or slip into my ims! i also have discord so just lmk if you’d prefer that option :’) 

HWANG TAEYI, 26, ONLINE STAR, REAL-LIFE LOSER. 

the hwangs used to be conglomerate giants in contemporary pharmaceuticals and medical research — until they weren’t. they were quote-unquote “saved” by ryong holding’s, which bought out the quickly dying business and made it a subsidiary. his parents are pretty much satisfied with their quiet lives. taeyi, on the other hand, is not. 

because the company went under when he was in the army, taeyi never got the closure that he needed to recover. the move down from the top 1% to upper working class felt catastrophic (esp since his two best friends are still loaded and honestly, it’s embarrassing that he can’t keep up). 

as such, here we are now, with taeyi literally faking it till he makes it! rented designer clothing, fake accessories, old cars that take up too much gas to drive, and crushing bills to pay, all for a couple hundred thousand followers on the gram. 

okay, in all seriousness, it’s not just about the likes. he’s a complete and total con, posing as the guy from his past. who he used to be. he’s twenty-six, grown up, and still not over an old reflection. mostly because no one ever taught him how to be someone else or how to fill that sudden emptiness.  

so it’s no surprise that he’s always a little (a lot) bitter, uninhibited, and selfish. taeyi has ambition that’s too much for his money to follow. he’s a sweet and often charismatic kid who has a wickedly persuasive tongue and is perceptive to a t who feels as if he’s been robbed of all the right resources. no wonder he’s always in a knot. 

doesn’t help that choi yong banned him, either! taeyi is going to do everything possible in his power to haul his ass to that event (whatever it is, whatever it takes) bc that’s the closest he’s ever going to get at a chance for retaking his old life and getting himself out of debt hellhole. 

for a guy who exudes confidence online, he has pretty low self-esteem hidden under layers of pretend. also has the opposite of commitment issues: gets way too attached. often why he doesn’t try to let anyone in in the first place bc he’s afraid of it all going to shit and being left to pick up the pieces. also doesn’t help that his coping mechanism is just more shopping and ends up exacerbating the whole ‘i’m a con!’ cycle. 

+ recently acquired his pharmacist license, which is how he tries to pay for everything! it all seems golden, with his parents having enough savings to let him have his own little shop, except the income barely covers half of what he spends. the other half? if you say the right things, know him well enough, taeyi will supply you, no questions asked. he keeps one hand in the black market and one out of it and he likes to keep it that way. 

sometimes he’ll take part-time modeling jobs, but doesn’t try to get too deep into it bc 1) too easy to get caught with all his fake shit and 2) doesn’t want to make the impression that he needs that kind of money. also bc friends of his ten-years-younger sister fawn over him and that’s just weird. 

some quick plot ideas!  (+ i’m more of a brainstorming/headcanon-ing person but just to get us started!)

broadly speaking, def some people from his past that knew him before all of this shit went down! could be friends, could be ex-friends, could be rivals, enemies. maybe you’re one of those people who look at him with fake sympathy. maybe you don’t care. maybe you’re secretly glad about the hwang’s demise. anything! 

and some specifics! i’d love to have maybe someone in his life that tries to help him out aka get over what happened to his family but he keeps pushing away bc 1) again, scared that it’ll all go to shit, and 2) also scared of showing vulnerability. but god knows he needs the help and he needs you

exes, one-sided crushes, give me all the angst! a few ideas: an ex that left him after his social demotion, which left him super scarred (+ most likely why he can get so mopey and clingy now); someone who used to like him a lot in hs or college and he totally rejected but is now interested in you and now he’s just like, well, fuck my life; his first same-sex romantic experience that finally made him think and admit wait, am i bi????; that one ex that has become an old habit and even though you have little to no feelings for him, he keeps coming back to you and you let him bc idk maybe you’re bored or you just like having him in the palm of your hand; the list goes on and on! 

he’s not really the type to do fwbs bc again, will get attached, but maybe he tried it out once and it backfired and he learned that lesson from you 

maybe one or two people suspicious of his activity?? maybe they see him doing something, maybe they’re neighbors and they realize shit, he’s never really home, maybe they blackmail him, maybe they like to buy him things, et cetera 

maybe you’re a fan of him and follow him on social media and everything and you’re keen on helping him getting into yong’s favor and onto that party list 

clients for his side job as a supplier! you see him regularly and at a high price, taeyi keeps his mouth shut about your... unhealthy habits bc boy got bills to pay 

[sntaeyi]

nsayano​:

(...)

she sighed. “ well, i am fairly positive that you haven’t forgotten our last interaction yet. you know; the whole awkward fan-sign-event-thingy that you participated in. willingly, might i add. the one where you came to see me and not the other way around? yeah, that one. ” with her speaking way too fast for anyone to understand, ayano had to take a short break. “ anyway, you gave me your name and then of course i had to find you! after all, you disappeared just as quickly as you appeared! ” in contrast to everyone else she had met that day, he had been different; actually, he was the only person she could hold a normal conversation with. even though it was rather short.

“ it took so long to find your contact information, so when i did, i scheduled a meeting for us just to find someone who wasn’t even you! he just happened to have the same name as you! and then you show up after all to pick him up? god, this feels like a stupid joke. ”

if looks could kill... well, he'd still be alive. granted, the girl was seething, exasperation at its maximum, irritation fine-tuned to a perfected note; and yet, despite the avid portrayal of her annoyance, it’s hard for taeyi to take her seriously. “uh, sorry?”

and could you blame him? her wide, round eyes, her slightly high-tone voice, her notably short height (in comparison to him being an absolute tree), were all just too much. too much, in the sense that it was almost mesmerizing, the way she moved. as if acting in a performance. big gestures, amplified volume, changes in facial expressions that left as quickly as they came. a hot, flaring temper prettily packaged with an attractive smile and sweet perfume. 

most of what she was saying (groaning) at him was drowned out by a single thought: how is so much energy contained in such a small body?  

by the time taeyi had shaken himself out of his subconscious, she’d finished her exclamations and had reduced herself to sighs and complaints. “oh, the fan meeting, yeah,” he confirmed, rubbing the back of his neck in slight sheepishness as he remembered the encounter. it’d been nothing like he’d ever experienced before: a crowd of screaming fans, some on the brink of tears (out of happiness), some holding back nervous breakdowns, and giggling, fawning, googly-eyed others. there’d been exchanges of albums and photos and too many cameras to count. and while it didn’t mean much coming from him, the only person there who hadn’t been a proper fan, taeyi had considered himself to be the only sane one there. the only one who’d managed to keep his head screwed on straight. 

“isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” taeyi commented dryly. their situation seemed somewhat off-putting, unconventional. a triangle forced to stand on a point. though he’d heard of crazy fans hunting down the numbers and addresses of their favorite idols, he’d never heard of its opposite. should he be flattered?

upon seeing the look on her face, he regretted saying the words as soon as they’d left his mouth. “what i mean to say is,” he cleared his throat, “none of this was intentional.” hands gestured at the three of them standing in a circle, just as she had only seconds earlier. “and the signed poster, that was meant for him,” his chin jutted out in the direction of junhyuk, who appeared to be the most confused one out of them all, “so that’s where it all went wrong for you, i suppose.”

[sntaeyi]

snsoohyun​:

(...)

Soohyun placed a carton of chocolate milk and a plastic wrapped bun onto Taeyi’s desk before sitting down in his own seat. Stabbing his own banana milk open, he took a long sip before tapping Taeyi on the head to wake him up. “Hyung, you have five minutes before break ends and the teacher comes back. You should eat a snack.”​

taeyi was a good student. 

good, according to the silent approval of two snakehead parents, compliments left unsaid by two forked tongues, a pair of beady eyes. good, as in he brought home exceptional grades, never strayed too far from the top of class rankings, never stirred up more trouble than he could handle. the hwangs couldn’t bear knowing they’d raised a loser.

so they let him be, as long as they found their reputation untouched. 

direct translation? he could do whatever the hell he wanted—as long as news never traveled as far back into his parents’ ears and was kept well veiled by the disarming presence of prettily packaged statistics. nothing a little money and a charming smile couldn’t fix. this epiphany of the state of his own reality (which came early in his school years, good for him), the recognition of dos and don’ts, the realization of his own limitations and liberties, also meant that he spent most of his time either hanging out with doheum, or, well, napping. 

and sleeping at school was much easier than trying to at his war zone of a home.

besides, he could handle most of the material being taught with both of his eyes closed. not to be over-confident, but just stating a fact. taeyi wasn’t some genius (unlike the little guy sitting next to him), but clever enough to still score high on exams after dozing off (deep REM sleeping) in the majority of his classes. and say that even if he had ended up sleeping through anything important, no problem: he had soohyun to keep him updated. 

was he exploiting their friendship? oh, absolutely. but was the friendship genuine? again, absolutely. not one to be vocal about his feelings, but taeyi would confess that he’d throw a punch for the younger classmate. honestly, having been stuck with each other for over half a year now, it would’ve been more difficult to dislike him than to like soohyun for who he was. not just some newspaper front headline plastered wonder kid, but the entire totality of him. 

plus, bonus points for always bringing taeyi back snacks. 

a hand, blind in his head-in-his-arms, environment of lethargic darkness, moved around without direction, searching for the bagged snack. his fingers managed to snag the plastic and bring it closer to his face, which finally made an appearance after a well-deserved nap. and it looked like he’d enjoyed it too: droopy eyelids, hazy gaze, a lion yawn. 

seeing the chocolate milk, taeyi grinned. “you know too much,” he declared teasingly. soohyun had sat next to him long enough to know of his toddler palate, an intense sweet tooth that belied his more mature mannerisms. 

“five minutes,” taeyi mused. “if i finish all of this in three, i might be able to slip in another minute of sleep. what do you think, kkoma-yah?”

[sntaeyi]

snsena​:

🌹 w. @sntaeyi​

(...)

“hwang taeyi?” of course, it would be foolish to approach war without allies. but ada has never been any good at making friends, has she? her lips curl into something soft, too sweet for the sorts of brutality known to the girl, “i knew it was you. i could recognise you from anywhere.” the hand she hovers under his arm doesn’t quite meet skin. instead, she opts to place it along the edge of of his seatback.

“may i sit?”

present day, present moment, taeyi is acting. letting it be known that the luxurious velvet in deep cobalt is his, letting the common passerby be fooled by affected confidence, by the illusion of wealth. the fragrance of annick goutal completes him: wood, leather, musk. it wafts up the noses of curious customers and lures the occasional enchanted victim, right into the lap of a perfected fake. an imitation. bronze mistaken for gold, its sated luster for upscale sheen.

he looks expensive, sitting there at the bar, one leg crossed over the other, slender fingers cupped loosely around a quartz cup. a lazy wrist beckons the bartender over, who gladly fills his glass with another round of scotch. 

it’s more than he can afford. the alcohol, the setting, the physical appearance. the bmw parked outside by an eager valet. the pendant hanging around his neck, like a noose. but all of that gets lost behind the curtains of his play when taeyi is brought back to reality and to the face of someone of his past. 

“sena,” the name slips past lips that haven’t spoken it in ages. there is no surname to say, no pet name to repeat. just sena. she’s a curveball in the game that he’d drawn up in his head before coming here, an unknown variable, but then again, taeyi has always been good at improvisation. every skilled actor must.

“of course,” taeyi gestures to the seat next to him. she’s stunning, as always. like a wonderfully engraved knife, tinted with silver, bladed with diamond. sharp, beautiful. deadly. and truthfully? a bit scary to handle. their former friendship had ended with her leaving and ultimately, him cutting ties. no matter how much he hadn’t wanted to, no matter how much pressure his parents had put him under, it’s undeniable that he’d shut the door on her. there is no excuse. 

so it’s good to see her, but he’s cautious. she feels like a ticking time bomb, and he can only hope that he’s not at the center of the wreckage. 

concerns are veiled under a careless smile, an unnerving but not unfriendly glint in his eyes. “you changed your hair,” he comments, as if this isn’t the first time they’ve seen each other in years. “it looks nice.” a pause, a sip of liquor. “would you care for a drink?”

[sntaeyi]

. TAEYI , JAEIN .​

in his ribcage thumped not a heart, a corporeal amalgamation of blood vessels and human biology, but a string of moths, white and dusted. wings, too strong to be delicate but too thin to be trusted, thunder against his insides. moths, because butterflies are too pretty of a word to explain the coalescence that is both anticipation and anxiety. moths, because they are more accustomed to the unsettling nature of nights, to journeys of uncertainty in stretched darkness.

moths, because he is the duller counterpart to the girl that is a butterfly. 

he stands, back to an ivy-ridden brick wall, and waits. the remnants of november of his senior year are evident in the way the wind carries the scent of dying autumn, in the cease of a quickly darkening sky. the day feels like a memory, as if he’s been here before, in this same spot, with this same feeling, waiting. it’s chilly, and out of habit, taeyi sticks his hands into the pockets of his mustang jacket, wisps of air escaping through red lips, bangs falling into eyes that haven’t quite given up searching the populated street for the desired face. 

she’s a bit late, but that’s okay. it’s a near miracle that she agreed to meet him out here anyway, and is one that he won’t hastily let go to waste. so what if it takes another ten minutes? hell, taeyi can wait for thirty minutes, an hour, as long as they end up here, together. while this isn’t a grand gesture, (really, all he’s doing is taking her to his favorite local bakery where they make the best butter cookies and fruit tarts), it’s a grand moment for the both of them. departure from the confines of tight-lipped privacy. friendship exposed to the light of day. a breath taken outside, crisp. sweet. mine. 

she’s a bit late, but still he’ll wait. after all, he is but the duller counterpart to the girl that is a butterfly. gentle, fragile, sacred, lifted by paper-thin aileron and battered by headstrong turbulence. 

a few minutes later, and taeyi hears the familiar rumble of a smooth-riding car. in one swift move, he pushes off from the cold stone surface and makes his way towards the vehicle. the driver looks familiar, but more familiar is the person in the back, whom he helps get out of her seat and set foot onto solid ground.  

“jae,” he says like a statement. his gaze instantly falls down to the exposed skin of her bare neck, to pink ears, to a slightly red nose, and frowns. “are you cold?” we should hurry inside.

@snjaein 

[sntaeyi]

nsayano​:

my wide-eyed gaze. ft. @sntaeyi. seoul, 2014.

(...)

“ there are you are! oh my god, i can’t believe it! ” ayano flung her hands in the air as if the glasses she had been looking for weeks suddenly showed up on her doorstep. “ i was looking everywhere for you! literally everywhere! the whole time i wasn’t even using the right clues! jesus, hell– ” the girl closed her eyes, her hands covering her face even further. “ i was so glad to finally have found you and set up a meeting just to meet up with this … dimwit instead! why do you hate me so much, huh? ” 

he had laughed at junhyuk for being so ecstatic for something that seemed so unimportant. the guy had been tittering about meeting his favorite idol, the alleged love of his life, all god damn day. taeyi had had to sit through three to four hours of him blabbering on and on about her on the phone, questioning his own decisions as he handpicked an outfit, contemplated conversation topics, and spent an entire half hour just choosing which cologne to spray. seriously, if junhyuk hadn’t been such a good friend, and one that his parents adored (which was insanely rare), taeyi would’ve already dumped his romantic ass. kicked him to the curb like he did with most people that took it upon themselves to waste his precious time. 

he hoped this was a one time thing. because god, taeyi didn’t think he could go through all of this again. granted, he was, for a lack of better words, happy for junhyuk (the guy was living his dreams! turning fantasy into reality!), but a step further than this would truly drive him mad. he didn’t even want to imagine what it’d be like if the two of them ended up dating. 

what a nightmare. he’d never hear the end of it. the starstruck high schooler already used too many minutes in his life listening to her music and gushing over fancams on youtube. 

with a shake of his head, taeyi pulled his mind out of unfortunate thoughts. let’s not get ahead of himself, not start with the bad conclusions. who knows? all of this could’ve gone to shit. she might not have turned out to be as attractive as she is in her photos. he might’ve screwed up somehow (which definitely held a greater probability). they might just be sticking with each other, right in this very moment, simply to match the social expectation of being polite. 

but then, here came the big question: what was taking junhyuk so long? he was supposed to meet him out here nearly forty minutes ago. impatient digits tapped his knee as taeyi waited in the car with his driver; another five minutes came and went, and he found himself getting out of the vehicle with a loud sigh, frustrated fingers running through his hair.

“like some god damn babysitter,” taeyi muttered to himself as he strode into the cafe, hands stuck into the pockets of black jeans. “what the hell am i doing?” honestly, laughable. this entire situation was just laughable. they were graduating high school in a few weeks and here he was, picking his friend up from a date like some helicopter parent. 

junhyuk looked at him with wide eyes, as if caught in some act. the idiot knew he’s late. and taeyi was about to go on a fit of irritation, a please-get-up-and-let-me-go-home-already moment all in one breath, when the celebrity let out a scream. 

confused, taeyi just blinked at her. his head swiveled around to see who she was talking to, only to realize that hell, was this girl talking to him? 

“me?” he pointed a finger at himself. junhyuk and him shared a look. this girl seemed as if she was out of her mind, expressing herself so fiercely in public (and at someone that she hardly even knew), and yet, she spoke with such certainty, such deep-rooted frustration, that taeyi now felt no doubt that it was, in fact, him that she was referring to. 

“sorry, but i have no idea what you’re talking about.” which wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but was he lying? he’d literally only seen her once, and not even of his own volition. “do you know me?” hate her? he didn’t even know her.

[emptyxj-blog]

[lilllium]

—Lilllium, from In Place Of The Mirror is a Portait of You

[sonypraystation]

old photos are so bittersweet

[ohsharethekmusic]

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[sohnkissed]

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