CEO of 9/11

they/them, dungeon master, full of rage

[soaking-wet-cat-punk]

“haha 420 blaze it” i bring a comically large pretzel stick to my lips and begin crunching madly

[soaking-wet-cat-punk]

im sick and if i suffer so does he. go malachai 102 degree fever beam

[bintro]

[livelurk]

jerking off is lowkey boring like allat for not much yk what i mean like that bitch w his boulder

[kosmogrl]

[puppet-sloth]

i am. TJE sleepiest pwrson ever. Oh boy cant wait to sleeo!!! teeheheehhee giggling in anticipation of slwwp! the zonker! rhe snoozer! the sleepy eeper! god has died.

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

this is really resonating with the subjects

[qin-shi-huang-di]

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

I’m an emperor actually @chasingtheskyline

[qin-shi-huang-di]

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

[qin-shi-huang-di]

I AM NOT OWNED! I AM NOT OWNED!!!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN EARN THE LOVE OF MY CITIZENS!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ADEQUATELY PREPARE MY SUCCESSOR!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ESTABLISH A STABLE DYNASTY!

[diet-poison]

the Terracotta Army guy?

[qin-shi-huang-di]

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

[slimlimit]

Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

[ozais-lobotomist]

tagged by @linnorabeifong for a tag game of the following. new post so it’s not too long etc

🍳: maybe soft boiled for ramen purposes

🥩: gonna be real i was a vegetarian for 10+ years so i never got a taste for steak. i eat meat again but wont go out of my way for steak. sorry charlie

🥛: oat

🍺: been sober for two years this month! do enjoy a mocktail mule heheh

☕️: coffee <3

tagging @korrasamibottles @appalesbian @yellow-hues @soaking-wet-cat-punk and anybody else who’d like to!

[soaking-wet-cat-punk]

egg: none

steak: i might be lowkey allergic to steak but idc. medium

milk: whole!

alcohol: none 😋

warm drink: earl grey

tagging @joyouswhimsy-87 @ieatkitkatswrong @puppet-sloth @solsticeswackstuff @0luna123 @i-sure-tumbled and anyone else who wants to join!

[itsolie]

i can’t endlessly retweet the original since i uninstalled stupid bird app, so i’m posting it here to endlessly reblog instead

[thefloralmenace]

There's a lot of stuff that counts as dystopian about modern society, but one of the smaller yet insidious things I've noticed recently is the rise of companies whose entire marketing strategy is to convince you you're a burden to your friends and families.

I'm talking about that one dog watching/walking service that has a whole commercial implying that your family members secretly hate you for asking them to watch your dog to the point it counts as a modern social faux pas.

And there's this moving service commercial that I think someone else referenced in a big tweet that says something along the line of "Real adults don't ask their friends to help them move."

Like fuck that, man. You're supposed to want to watch your friends' pets, and you're supposed to want to help your friends move, and you're supposed to cook for people when they're sick, and you're supposed to show up to check on friends you haven't heard from in awhile, and you're supposed to remember your friend needs a large frying pan when you find one cheap at the thrift store and bring it to them.

One of the reasons the younger generations are so miserable and lonely is because the rise of technology and the concurrent pushing of this rhetoric that all effort is a major inconvenience, and asking someone to put in effort for you therefore makes you an inconvenience has conditioned them not to seek community.

And because they've never experienced it, they don't know that's what's missing. It's a vicious cycle because when you're depressed from lack of community, finding the energy to put in effort for other people is a lot harder than getting quick dopamine hits from scrolling on social media or watching Netflix. Then you encounter the further issue that our media glorifies romantic love to the exclusion of all else, so most of the young people I know who are lonely jump to "Well I just need a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner," and that sets up rough relationships because one person is expected to fill the void of a dozen or more friends and neighbors.

So please believe me: If you're lonely, try volunteering somewhere in the community. Try going to events around your interests. Try talking to local shop owners. Bake something and surprise a friend with it. Search for nearby clubs or intramural sports teams. There are companies literally capitalizing on subtlely encouraging you NOT to do these things. We've reached the point where helping your friend move is an anticapitalist act.

[minna-nakayoku]

My greatest desire has always been to hold a very big shield snd protect everything by blocking from attacks

[soaking-wet-cat-punk]

im so tired of the slopbait im so tired of the worldslop. can we get some friendbait in here. some joybait. can we get a little treatbait in my enclosure

[maxknightley]

(girl who's been thinking about The Character nonstop for two months voice) you'll never guess what this song reminds me of

[do-not-u-dare]

Im always scared to call someone my friend because what if they dont consider me a friend and hate me because of that

[soaking-wet-cat-punk]

on learned behavior.

[joyouswhimsy-87]

Has anyone missed him be honest (doodles under the cut)

[soaking-wet-cat-punk]

ME IVE MISSED HIM!!! I LOVE YOU LARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!m !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE LARK 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ LARK

[dirt-secret]

i do this cuz i like you