In Poor Taste

I want always to be a little boy and to have fun. (So perhaps he thinks, but it is only his greatest pretend.) -Peter Pan Been here since 2012 A-List Nobody, Queer As In None Of your Business

[diet-poison]

A real rags to riches story

[draconym]

I'm at a convention for the game of Go with a friend who is almost 84 years old, and he is constantly being accosted by elementary schoolers who want to play him because every year there is a prize for whoever plays a game with the biggest age difference between players.

So every time I go to look for him, I see this:

[draconym]

People in the tags pointing out that this is a great way to get communities to interact: you are extremely correct. There were a lot of kids at this year's go congress (many of them extremely strong players) and it's very funny to watch them roving in packs looking for old people to challenge. At one point when my friends and I were sitting in one of the side rooms, a trio of elementary schoolers marched in and shouted "IS ANYONE HERE OVER FIFTY?"

Presumably so that they could compete for the Elder Slayer award:

[enbyogre]

Ryland Grace is Sandy from Spongebob

[enbyogre]

[mawofthemagnetar]

No, Word, I do not “want to rewrite this paragraph with copilot”. Similarly, I do not “want to hire a drunk chimp as a chauffeur”, so perhaps you can fuck off?

[asteroidtroglodyte]

“We are descended from the Witches you couldn’t burn!”

It’s a nice sentiment, I like the energy, I do. That said, I am actually descended from a “Salem Witch,” and my Ancestor, Mary Isham Towne, was not burnt at the stake, she was hanged by the neck until dead. We’re not savages y’know.

Furthermore, Mary Isham Towne was a churchgoing, god-fearing woman, who just so happened to be a widow who owned a piece of land that the local judge wanted to purchase, but which she refused to sell, and which he set out to acquire pretty much immediately after he sentenced her execution.

So, y’know.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

☝️FUCKING FACTS

[auberginesdonthavelimbs]

[text transcript: #I have sooooo many thoughts about the stupid fucking phrase #and genuine disgust from any modern witch who would use it #because those people weren't witches #they didn't do witchcraft #they were Christians #devout Christians with strong Christian beliefs #they weren't secretly witches or doing anything that could count as witchcraft or folk magic or ANYTHING #they weren't underground countercultural people doing forbidden things in secret#they were murder victims #and it feels so fukcing disgusting #to hear people CONTINUE TO CALL THEM WITCHES #and continue to accuse them and justify their fucking murder by doing it #it's just fucked! #this isn't like historical gays or people with local religions fighting against the church #these are all murder victims who were accused for personal gain of something they had no way to protect themselves from #stop perpetuating the witch hunt #it's fucked man #and yeah it's also just extremely coincidental that anyone who got excecuted for witchcraft also lost the right of inheritance #it's almost like this specific type of accusation had a purpose... whereas normal murder meant the land would go to their inheritors #anyway this is my pure hatred for the fucking Salem contempory nonsense and capitalist highway trap #there were never any witches there. they just got killed.]

[ID. A t-shirt that says "They didn't burn witches they burned women"]

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[evilnicegirl]

recently my plug has offered free weed for:

bunch of ice

mw2 double xp tokens

[evilnicegirl]

new fetch quest dropped

[evilnicegirl]

[loth-caatgirl]

[ceruleanheaven]

very cruel to put this much love inside the body of such an unloveable creature

[memorycycle]

when you try to get into the png nightclub but you see the dotted rectangle surrounding the bouncer stretch him wider to block the entrance cus ur not on his clipboard

[memorycycle]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[100493503004422]

I hate the way some people read books. "I thought the narrator was boring" "I couldn't relate to it" "I wouldn't do that" ok how does it feel to not be able to engage with anything outside your worldview

[diet-poison]

Tincture Daughter or Elixir Son?

[kcggggg]

This little book o’ mine is out today; available to buy online or find in certain retail bookstores. Here’s a link to order online and find those retailers.

Thanks y’all!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

this is really resonating with the subjects

[qin-shi-huang-di]

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

I’m an emperor actually @chasingtheskyline

[qin-shi-huang-di]

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

[qin-shi-huang-di]

I AM NOT OWNED! I AM NOT OWNED!!!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN EARN THE LOVE OF MY CITIZENS!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ADEQUATELY PREPARE MY SUCCESSOR!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ESTABLISH A STABLE DYNASTY!

[diet-poison]

the Terracotta Army guy?

[qin-shi-huang-di]

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

[bovineblogger]

[geigercuntter]

Laying my head down on the guillotine but my titties spill out of my dress and the executioner accidentally cuts his own head off while trying to get a better look

[diet-poison]

This is Carrie's boyfriend I keep hearing about?