[princesconsuela]

[angelaeleni]

“Start caring for yourself the way you’ve been caring for others.”

— Growth Getters

[marvel-is-ruining-my-life]

[marvel-is-ruining-my-life]

Ryan Reynolds is officially my favorite person

[cashewcream-deactivated20170602]

me about me: is she okay

[fruithalo]

i think youtube might know me TOO well now

[ruinedchildhood]

[blondehiggs]

[snorlaxatives]

happy annoy squidward day

[nerdyteaparty]

[chchchcheckitouttt]

Actually, Annoy Squidward Day is January 15th. Although the calendar doesn’t have the month written on it, if you continue to watch the episode, they’re competing for January’s Employee of the Month.

[oddmoderator]

I’ve been waiting all year to reblog this

[juuliaroberts]

At Subway...

Me: And can I have extra mustard please

Worker: Sure just tell me when…..

Me: 

Worker:

Me: Okay that’s good, thanks…. 

Worker: *not stopping* *orgasming* 

Me: STOP THAT’S TOO MUCH

Worker: *Still adding mustard*

Me:

Worker: Great! Thanks! The magic word! 

Worker: Would you like anything else?

Me: 

Worker: Okay that’ll be $7.50

Me: *pays* 

Mom: Where is my fucking change?

[thethingsifindfunny]

This is so dumb i should not be laughing this hard

[yamcha]

I wanna travel 🗣

[creamycumshot-deactivated201606]

Then travel 📢

[yamcha]

[uwiguwi]

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

[uwiguwi]

it happened today, damn that was like 3 days maybe?

It Works the money is on its way!

[goodluckrob-deactivated20221110]

Need this.

[mindyourbusinessitsfree]

Of course

[sauvamente]

It worked tho

[ourblackisgold-deactivated20191]

I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.

[sauvamente]

ENERGY

[alexander]

[emjineer]

So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. 

[emjineer]

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

[marry-and-mirthful]

Storu

[emjineer]

Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars… The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass. 

My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn’t taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands. 

She bought a ticket and  pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While  wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit.  Literally no one even questioned her.

 She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss’s office.  She dropped the folder on his desk and said “I just stole these in 15 minutes“

Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security. 

[humorhour]

[poshwife]

[ruinedchildhood]

[orriculum]

can i get uh……..McDeath™

[fayzaundevon]

is that that one play by Shakespeare

[orriculum]

yeah

[melissa-benoists]

The Princess Diaries (2001) dir. Garry Marshall