Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! What is with all the pushing behind me? Here you go, girls. It's Miley Stewart. We've got to get in there. Our names are on the list. Well, why didn't you say so? In your dreams, sweet cheeks. Next! - No, no. They're on there. I promise. - We need two. You are the only pop star I know who can't get into her own concert. She was just here. I don't know where she went. - Stop! - Go! Somebody, stop those girls! - Go faster! - I can't! This is a golf cart! Stop! Those girls shouldn't be here! They don't have a backstage pass! - What are you doing? - Stop in the name of Security! - Watch out! - I need backup! Call for backup! Whoa! - Yes! - Yes! Oh! Stop! - Please stop! - It's OK. It's OK. They're with me. Come on. Go, go, go. Hey. Dad. What? Showtime, baby doll. - She's on the move. - All right, let's go. Good luck! Don't mess up! This way. Follow me. - Come on. - She's coming right now. All right, talent's on its way. - Oh! - You do that every night. - Love you, Daddy. - I'm loving you right back, darling. Don't forget it's your turn to do the dishes tonight. I did them last night. Don't give me no lip. You're the one that wanted the best of both worlds. - Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! - Watch your head. Here we go, everybody! Whoo! Oh, yeah. Come on. Cut! We'll fix that last bit in post. That's a wrap, people. - Hannah, as always, fabulous. - Thank you. No. It's OK. I'm sorry. I just had to meet you. I promised my girls I'd say hi to you for them. - Hi. - Hi. They even wrote out some questions, if you have a second. Oh, my gosh, this is such a thrill. Do you mind? - Not at all. - Don't even think about it. - No, Vita. It's OK. - Nothing about this man is OK. Hello, Oswald. Hello, Vita. Looking lovely as ever. Icky teeth, really? Isn't that beneath even you? Oswald Granger, chief sleaze of Bon Chic magazine, Britain's most notorious tabloid. And we would love, with a capital "ove," to do a cover feature on the global phenomenon that is Hannah Montana. And by "feature" he means "career-ending exposé. " "Country girl living her dreams beloved by millions," that's all we got. That's all you're gonna get. Now get out. Can't blame a bloke for trying. How could you even think we have something to hide? - He didn't see anything, did he? - I don't think so. Good. Hannah, honey, you can't talk to anyone unless I'm at your side. I'm your publicist. You need to concentrate on what you do best which is singing your scrappy little heart out. Let me worry about everything else, like making sure your little secret stays a secret. Sometimes I wish I could be Hannah all the time. You and me both, kid. Out of the way, you jackals. Step aside. Coming through. That's right, don't touch the pop star. Move aside. ...like making sure your little secret stays a secret. Secret? What secret? Move your bum, you old cow. Talk to me, Ozzie, and don't disappoint. - Apparently there's a secret. - Good. Because the cover's ready. I just need the story to go with it. Find out that secret. She's the most popular teenager in the world. So I suggest you go out and find me every juicy, sordid detail of Hannah Montana's outrageous, glamorous life. All right. Line it up, people. We're going to choose new teams. Dead girl in the middle of the floor. Anybody? Fabulous news: Beyoncé has double pneumonia. Has to drop out of the New York Music Awards. You're in! That is great. Not for Beyoncé. I really should call. But, yes! I'm so excited! What am I gonna sing? What am I gonna wear? Great minds. The car and the box are already outside, so Hannah has to do a major shop now. Last chance. Come on. Miley? Hello? What about my birthday party? Minor Hannah emergency. I'll be there, I promise. Wasn't that fun? Yeah, but it feels weird having them give me stuff for free. Please. Do you know what a well-placed photo of you shopping is worth? You're a star, an icon. You look at it, touch it, wear it, and the whole world has to have it. They owe it to you, Hannah. Name it and it's yours. - Really? - I have so much to teach you. If she doesn't hurry, you're going to miss your plane. Yeah, that's right, losers! I'm going to college! Tennessee Universi... - University. - Where is that girl? - I can't decide. - Decide? No deciding. Too stressful. Take them all. We'll just add them to the pile. Girls. Ooh. Watches. I totally need a new watch. Is that the time? I can't believe it. We got to go. Eleven messages. Jackson. Lilly's present. Lilly... would totally love those shoes. - She will so love these. - I'm sorry. I saw these first. Can you wrap these for me? They're for my best friend. She's 16 today. Funny, they're for my best friend, too. My best friend is a six and a half. Funny, my best friend's a six and a half, too. Tyra Banks, that's our only pair. - Not funny. Do you know who I am? - I know you know who I am. - So? - So? - Give me that shoe. - Get away from me! You know what? If you want it, jump for it. Jump for the shoe, Hannah. Fine. Gimme! Got it! Yes! Yes! Give me my shoe, lady! She is so in trouble. No, you didn't! Hannah Montana! - Yes! - I appreciate you helping me up, but I don't appreciate you not helping me with this. Relax? Are you kidding me? Have you met my dad? He is not gonna shake off me missing saying goodbye to Jackson. Give us a smile. You look amazing. Thank you. We got to go. Hey! And I didn't even get the shoes. I am the worst friend in the world. It's him. Oswald. Step on it! I cannot get out of the car looking like Miley, and I cannot show up at Lilly's party looking like Hannah. Where are you headed? Hi! Thank you. Thank you. Hey, Lilly. What's up? We've talked about this party since we were, like, 12. Where... - Hi! How are you? Where are you? - I'm almost there. She hung up on... Where are you? Everybody's waiting... - Sorry, wrong number! - Miley! Two smoothies, please. Where's Miley? We haven't seen her. Just spoke with her. She'll be here any second. Rico, what's this hole at the top of the cake? It's a high-pressure electro-pneumatic solenoid on it. It's 150 pounds per square inch with a brass safety-check valve. Then I just hit this button and bam! Sparklers go off, and a "happy birthday, Lilly" banner shoots out the top of the cake. Once again... Rico is a genius. Hold it! This is a private event. Guests only! What did I tell you? Stop! - Smile. - No pictures. That's what I call a Lilly... Wow. It's Hannah Montana! Is that Hannah Montana? Guys, I'm only here... Wait! Happy birthday to... I want to say happy birthday to my number one fan, Lilly. She's over that way. She's over that way. Happy birthday, Lilly. Happy birthday. I'm sorry. I had no choice. I'll make it up to you, I promise. You will never, ever, ever make it up to me. I'm sorry. Sing, sing, sing, sing, sing. Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy, Crazy. Uh, you guys know the words to Let's Get Crazy? All right, then, here we go! You ready? Here we go. # Life is just a party so come as you are # Dress it up or dress it down Don't forget your guitar, yeah # Just be courageous 'Cause style's contagious # Everyone can rock out like a superstar # Let's get crazy Get up and dance # Take a swing, do your thing It's worth taking a chance # Let's get crazy # Yeah, just kick up your heels # Don't miss out Time to shout # Always keeping it real Let's get crazy # Crazy Lilly! Lilly, we got cake! Hold up. Wait. Birthday Girl, I have some questions. Is it true Hannah's really 43 years old? She lip syncs? Grew up in Nashville? More like a cornfield in some place called Crowley Corners. Really? How do you spell "Crowley"? It's Lilly Truscott, everybody! Happy birthday. We got cake over there. Just like it sounds. - Lilly! - Oliver? Quick! Light the cake. We're gonna stop Lilly from leaving. Cake? No, I'm not ready yet! Come on! We have cake! Eww! Sorry. Lilly, please pick up. - Did you see this? - Yeah, I know. It's everywhere. Isn't it... horrible. Bad Hannah. She and I need to have a little conversation. Now? But she's getting ready to go to New York. Didn't she tell you? There's an amazing opportunity. Yeah, I know about New York. I got CCed in an e-mail. Not happening. She and I are flying to Tennessee for her Grandma Ruby's birthday. Didn't she tell you? A shoe fight! You got into a stinking shoe fight? In my defense, I totally saw those shoes first. This is absolutely, T-totally, without a doubt unacceptable. Which pretty much describes all of your behavior lately. Standing up your brother? Humiliating Lilly at her own party? I know. I screwed up. I'm sorry, but I can't talk about this now. I got to go to New York. It's the music awards. Your grandmother's birthday doesn't matter? This is totally different and you know it. Now, Robby. Mr. Ray. Father Montana, Hannah not going to New York is really not an option. - Her name is Miley. - Miley'll be back before she leaves. She's a superstar. I can get her a private jet if she wants. Yes! I've always wanted one of those. For gosh sakes. Fine. You win. But you heard our superstar. She needs a jet. - Really? - I like your thinking. It will take some time to arrange, but I'll go ahead to New York and set up the meet and greet. Ooh. Next time, you might want to demand a jet with a bigger bathroom. Why in the heck you getting all Hannahed up? The Hannah steps off the plane photo op. The balloons, the limos, the screaming fans. Like Vita says, "It's all about the publicity. " Yeah. That Vita's just full of good advice. Absolutely full of it. Hello, New York! Looks like your limo's here. Ain't she a beaut? Yee doggies. Tennessee. Dad, come on. Yeah, maybe I should've remembered Grandma's birthday. - I did. - Jackson, not now. Dad! Please, Hannah Montana needs to be walking down the red carpet in New York in less than three hours. Miley, all you ever wanted to do was sing. Hannah let you do that and still have a normal life. That was the dream, remember? That's why we created her in the first place. I don't know what she's about anymore. - What are you saying? - I think we might be done. - You can't take Hannah away from me. - Really? Because that's what I'm doing. No! Stop the truck. I'm not doing this. I want to go home. Stop the truck! You are home. Look around you. Hannah means everything to me. That right there might be the problem. You're saying I can never be Hannah again? Ask me again in two weeks. Right now let's see if a country girl still exists. - Two weeks? - Think of it as a Hannah detox. Take that wig off and get back in the truck. No. I'm not getting back in the truck. No way. I'm not getting back in the truck, Dad. I'm going to New York whether you like it or not, and I'm not... Whoa! Give that back, you mangy little... Look at that. Girl don't even recognize her own horse. Now that truly is sad. Blue Jeans? Meet us at the house. Just about a mile up the road. Don't forget your suitcase. In my defense, you do look different. Did you do something to your tail? Good boy. All right, now. Help me out. Hold still. Blue Jeans! Blue Jeans! Ya! Hi. You all right? Blue Jeans doesn't really take well to strangers. Especially not dirty, sparkly ones. I know. He's my horse. Miley? It's me. Travis? Travis Brody? We were in the first grade together. Me and you went to your Uncle Earl's farm and swam - and got poison oak all over our... - I remember you, OK? I also remember you hanging me headfirst down a well. Yeah. I guess I had a pretty big crush on you back then. But don't worry about it. I'm over it. Good to know. Don't come around too often anymore, do you? Often enough. Only a couple times since your ma died that I've heard about. So how long are you staying? - Two weeks. - Ha! - Good luck with that. - What's that supposed to mean? Considering what you're wearing and the fact that you couldn't get back on your horse, I'm guessing you went California on us. I have not. You don't know anything about me or California. Let me guess, celebrities are just regular folk like you and me. - Some are. - Oh. Uh-huh. You, uh... you actually know any? I know Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana? Really? Yeah. I... I practically saved her life surfing the other day. She owes me big time. We're like... We're like best friends. Huh. Best friends. They're all waiting for you inside. I'll take Blue Jeans, put him away. - You don't have to do that. - It's kind of my job. I've been working for your grandma for the summer. Ooh. This is usually about the time someone would say "thank you. " - I was getting there. - No need. See you round, Smiley Miley. Remember? That's what he used to call you. Smiley Miley. I remember. I got my Miley back! Come on, Miley, take the next verse. Come on. Get your dog back and your house back... I want my life back, Dad. Sorry. Sorry, everybody. Hey. Happy birthday, Grandma. Well, I just blew out my candles, and I already got my birthday wish. Come here, sweet thing. Ohhh. I have missed you more than you can imagine. And thank you. Thank you so much for this. I just love it. There's only one King, and I have been saving him a place of honor. How long have you been planning this? Must have taken you forever to find it. Apparently, I've thought of nothing else for weeks. Hurt your grandma's feelings and a chewed-up wig'll be the least of your worries. Hey, Uncle Chuck. Listen, it's time for cake. I'll collect the supper plates, you pass out the forks. Give you a chance to say hi to a few folks. - You remember Cousin Derrick. - What's with the rat? Ferret. Harlow. - Good to be home. - Yeah. Got any plates for me? Do me a favor. Introduce yourself to Lorelai over there. She's new and a little shy. You ain't up to your matchmaking again, are you? - Me? Never. - That's right. Then I reckon it would be a shame for anybody to feel left out. - Uh-huh. - Excuse me. Got anything for me? I don't know. Are you sure you can handle it? You'd be amazed at what I can handle. I don't believe we've met. I'm Robby Ray. - Oh! - Ha! Told you you'd be amazed. Yahh! I got it. It's not that bad, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, Lord! - Howdy! - Oh, no. Oh! Whee doggies! Great news, everybody. Elvis is alive and well. I keep thinking I should change the wallpaper, but your mom picked this out when she was about your age. I like it. You used to like a lot of things about coming to see me. - Grandma... - It's OK. I know it's not personal. - I just miss my Miley. - Why does everyone keep saying that? Maybe you should be asking yourself that question. Caterpillar in a tree How you wonder who you'll be Can't go far But you can always dream Your daddy used to say that to you every night. Not so much anymore. Miley! Rise and shine! Commence Operation Save Hannah Montana. Morning! Sleep well? I've been up for hours. How about I go feed the chickens and grab some eggs? Like I always say, ain't nothin' better than farm-fresh eggs for breakfast! Who in the Sam Heck was that? Here, chick-chick-chick-chick. Get away from... Ahh! How long you think before she figures out to put down the bucket? Oh, I'm gonna... All right. Here we go, one farm-fresh egg. - Y'all couldn't wait? - Darling, we waited, but eventually we had to get on with the rest of our lives. Get yourself cleaned up, honeybee. I'm taking you to the farmers' market. Yay. Oh, Robby Ray, my gutters need fixing. And my truck is making a noise you just don't want to hear. I'm on it. If you need any help, talk to the foreman. Might be down by the vegetable patch. Gotcha. But don't go squashing my squashes. They're prizewinners. Looks like you beat me to it. Lorelai? Uh, Ruby didn't... You're the foreman? - That would be me. - So that means you're living here, too? You're good at this. That's me, right over there. I was looking for a fresh start, and I guess Ruby thought that both me and the farm could use some looking after, so... She does like putting things together, that's for sure. Lorelai. The foreman. I'll be dang. All right, you guys. I'd like to introduce you all to Tammy Wynette. She is the fastest two-legged animal in the world. She can't fly, she can't swim, but she sure can... ...bite. Be careful. We talked about this. Unless you want to see ostrich burgers on the menu at the snack bar... I'll take it from here. Go feed Miss Pearl. No, I hate Miss Pearl. All right, kids. Who wants to see a real live... ...alligator? Let go! Help! Ah! What's with the giant udder? That is something you don't see in Beverly Hills. Old Man Crowley died and left the town the meadows, pretty much everything you can see. But we don't exactly have enough for the taxes, so I've been helping organize a fundraiser or two. It's just awful. Developers circling like vultures. Talking about putting up apartment buildings. Shopping malls. A mall? Really? If they have their way, there won't be any open land left. Hey, Ruby. How'd you like one of those, young lady? - Thank you. - Come on, Miley. - Would there be a Bloomie's? - We've got work to do. Sorry. - You're looking at the future. - Thank you. Uh-huh. Oh. I swear, everything about that man irks me. - Morning, Miss Ruby. - Morning. See you got your granddaughter with you. - Yeah, sure do. - Ain't she grown some. Amazing what a little food and water will do. Nice chatting. When we finish, maybe you and I can do a little shopping. In there? No, thanks. I'm good. Look, missy. You may be Hannah Montana back home, but here we're britches and boots. And... ...if that ain't good enough for you, maybe you should just pack up and git. You might be fooling your daddy, but you sure as heck ain't fooling me. Now, I'm sorry for fussing at you, but... I just think you should consider yourself lucky that, for the time being, you have a place like this to call home. I do. And I'm sorry. I know you are. Come on! - Right here? - Yeah. Now... slice up this watermelon for samples. You're looking at the future of Crowley Meadows. I'm going to take this mood of mine and put it to good use. Free samples! Here you go, girls. Ruby, you can have as many fundraisers as you want, but you are not going to stop progress. Turning Mills Pond into a landfill is not what I call progress. Well, obviously... I'll be right back. - Morning. - Morning. Um, do you know this girl? Sure, Hannah Montana. I don't live under a rock. No, obviously not. No, no. - You wanna try something? - A bit of that. OK. That's very nice. That's delicious. - Uh, I'll be right back. - Maybe she used a different name. - I don't think so. - Somebody must know where she lives. - No. I got to go. - OK. Thank you! - Miley, help me get this... - Get up. Help him up now. Let's get him out of here. Help me with this poor man. Are you OK? - I'm terribly, terribly sorry. - Honey, you are so forgiven. You're too kind. No, really. You're about the same age. You know this Hannah Montana? Hannah Montana! Who don't know Hannah Montana? She's famous. She's telling everyone she's from this little patch of nowhere, but no one's ever seen her. I seen her, saw her, know her, knew her. - You're the first one. - I know all the Montanas-es. Do you know where I could find them? Sure. You go about five miles south of town, turn right at the first crick. - Left at the second crook. - There you are. - There you are. - Oh. - So thank you. Thank you. - Yeah. Sure. - Take care. - Yeah. Thank you. Hello? Hello, anybody home? - What? - A better question would be "where?" As in "where's my story?" Sorry, love. Two seconds. - Hello? - Daddy, where are you? You didn't call. Sorry, darlings. Daddy's working. I'll call you back in two seconds. Hurry. It's nearly lights out. Sorry, Lucinda. Don't worry. I guarantee this Hannah Montana story is... Hannah Montana! I can't believe it! Dad! I'm glad we called you. I don't believe this! Have you met her yet? Not now, girls! - Please get us her autograph! - I'm going to faint! Who's that? What's all that screaming? - Darlings, I'll call you back. - Daddy, Daddy, make sure you do! - Sorry. You were saying? - Ozzie, I want the dirt! Trust me, I'm all over it. Oh. Oh, I messed up. Um... Oh... Um, I'm sorry. Don't stop. I'm going. Don't worry about it. I was goofing off. I think it's great you're still doing that singing thing. Singing thing? What singing thing? Come on. Everyone knows that's all you ever wanted to do. And... you actually got a nice voice. Thanks. I've heard that. What did you think of the song? I wrote it. - Song? - Yeah, that thing I was just singing? Did I mention I wrote it? And it seems like you got most of the notes right. So way to go, Miley. "Most"? - So why didn't you like it? - Jeez, I didn't say I didn't like it. You sure didn't say you did. - It's not bad. It just wasn't... - Good. About anything. Doesn't tell me anything about who you are or what you feel. - You know what I'm feeling now? - I've got an idea. And sorry, but you asked. Why are you bothering with this anyway? Starting up an egg business. Me and Ruby struck a deal. I rebuild the coop, I get to sell the eggs. It's a lot of rebuilding. Hey, you got to start somewhere, right? Life's a climb, but the view is great. That's all you want to do, is sell eggs in Crowley Corners? - Where else am I going to? - That's not what I meant. I know what you meant. You don't get this place, do you? Ow. Ow. - Come on. Saddle up. - Where are we going? To show you... what you're missing. Ow. - You're next! - No way! No! Whoa, whoa! Whoo! Whoo! Yes! We got it! Ha! It's cold! We should get going. We don't want to be late for the fundraiser. Whoo-hoo! Good job, Daddy! Robby Ray Stewart, everybody. Good to have you back, sir. - You were so great up there. - Thank you, honey. What is the matter with him? He's dated before. Maybe it's starting to mean something again. We're going to slow it down for this next song, if that's all right. - What? - She likes you. You like her. Why do you have to make everything so complicated? Miley, you just wouldn't unders... - How do you know she likes me? - Because she'd be crazy if she didn't. You got a good point there. I saw Lorelai go out back. Maybe you can go help her with the empties. I could try. Miley? Would you like to dance? Sorry about that back there. This trip was always supposed to be about Miley. Not really about me. Ever think the two might be related? You're right. Our family's closer than most, more... Secretive? I've noticed. So how's she doing? I have a feeling she... We are gonna be just fine. Ah! Thank you. Miley, it's open mike night. You should give it a try. No. Wait. It's good. I mean, my dad... - Come on. It's all about having fun. - No. No. - Travis! - Looks like we got ourselves a taker. All right, um... If you guys don't mind, I'm gonna add a little hip-hop to this hoedown. Yeah! All right, banjo, I'm gonna need you to come on up here. And where are my girls at? Come on up. All right. Here we go. Boom boom clap boom de clap de clap. Boom boom clap. # Whoa, oh, oh Here we go! Boom boom clap boom de clap de clap. # Whoa, oh, oh # Whoa, oh, oh # One, two, three # Everybody, come on off your seats # I'm gonna tell you about a beat that's gonna make you move your feet # I'll give the barbecue show and tell you how to move # If you're five or this is something you can do # Pop it, lock it, polka-dot it countrify then hip-hop it # Put your hawk in the sky and move side to side # Jump to the left, stick it, glide You got it. Come on. OK, one more time. # Pop it, lock it, polka-dot it countrify then hip-hop it # Put your hawk in the sky and move side to side # Jump to the left, stick it, glide # Zigzag across the floor shuffle in diagonal # When the drum hits, hands on your hips # One-footed 180 twist and then a zigzag, step, slide # Lean it left, clap three times # Shake it out head to toe, throw it all together, that's how we roll - # Do the hoedown - # Hoedown - # Do the hoedown - # Throwdown - # Do the hoedown - # Hoedown # Throw it all together That's how we roll Come on. Here we go. # Zigzag across the floor shuffle in diagonal # When the drum hits, hands on your hips # One-footed 180 twist and then a zigzag, step, slide # Lean it left, clap three times # Shake it out head to toe, throw it all together, that's how we roll - # Do the hoedown - # Throwdown # Throw it all together That's how we roll # A-boom de clap de clap Boom boom clap Come on. Here we go. # Pop it, lock it, polka-dot it countrify then hip-hop it # Put your hawk in the sky and move side to side # Jump to the left, stick it, glide # Zigzag across the floor shuffle in diagonal # When the drum hits, hands on your hips # One-footed 180 twist # And then a zigzag step, slide lean it left, clap three times # Shake it out head to toe # Throw it all together That's how we roll - # Do the hoedown - # Throwdown # Throw it all together That's how we roll # Our very own Miley Stewart, people. You got a lot of nerve coming in here. I'm sorry. I thought this was a community event. Community. You wouldn't even know what that word means. Well, I know that your idea of it is a thing of the past. How much y'all raise tonight? A thousand dollars? Two thousand dollars? Whatever it is, I'll double it. We don't want your money. At the end of the day it ain't gonna matter. You can have a hundred of these, you ain't gonna raise the money it's gonna take to save the Meadows, not unless The Beatles show up for a benefit concert. Oh, wait. Small problem. The sooner y'all accept the inevitable, the sooner we... Miley knows Hannah Montana. - Who's that? - She saved her life surfing. They're best friends. She could help us out, right? Throw a concert. That would raise a ton of money. Yeah! Yeah! Do it. Yeah. Call her. - Yeah. - Uh... I guess I could give her a call. Hannah Montana knows Miley? Oh, my gosh! It's Hannah Montana! I love you, Hannah! Oh, my gosh. She's here. I didn't think she'd actually come. Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Give me a hug. Thank you. So rustic. - I love it, Miley. - Thanks. This whole "pop star saves hometown" angle is genius. Not so genius that I forgive you for ditching me in New York and almost costing me my job, but genius nevertheless. So you must be Granny. Adorable. Oh, look at this place. It's just so, um... And, uh... - It always smell like this? - Pretty much. Excuse me. I am so sorry. You are the best friend I have ever had. When I thought you weren't gonna talk to me, - that I might lose you forever... - Couldn't lose me if you wanted to. Good, because I don't want to. And... sorry about talking to that reporter guy. What? Lilly, you're the one that talked to the reporter? How could you? I thought this was one of those "you're sorry, I'm sorry" moments. It is, and I am. And I swear Hannah'll never come between us again. OK. - Miley? - Yeah? Could I come in and talk to you and Hannah? - You be Hannah. - No, you're Hannah. - I can't. No, you be Hannah. Stop it. - Miley? It's kind of important. - No. - Back. Stop doing this. Stop! Come in. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize... No worries. This is just a little de-stressing. It helps with Hannah's jet lag. Jet lag? But California's only two hours... Yes. But Hannah only flies west to east, so... she gains time. She sometimes has to go the long way around. She's actually getting younger. - Did you want something? - Uh, yeah. Hi, Hannah. I'm Lorelai. And we are just all so grateful that you're here. Oh, well... Foot massage. Very L.A. - Miley, you up there? - He doesn't know. That Hannah's here. He is going to be so excited. - Let me tell him. - I'll take over. No. Hannah considers me her personal, you know... There's these things that... Fine. Hey, but no talking. Mmm-hmmm. So the mayor wants to throw this big bash in your honor this evening. And I've had lobsters flown in and everything just for you. I hope they don't get too jet-lagged. Anyway... Dad! - Dad, what are you doing? - Fixing your grandma's gutter. Hold the ladder for me. And don't squish the squashes. Please come down. It's an emergency. I need you now. - Is that a yes? - Mm-hm. Oh! Oh, that's fantastic. Wow. What is Lorelai doing rubbing Hannah's feet? - Technically, they're Lilly's. - Stay. Dad. Dad, we're all set. I talked to Derrick, and... - What's with him? - Shh. Come here. Hey. Lorelai. - Why don't you let Hannah rest... - Shh, I think she's asleep. Poor thing. Jet lag. She only flies west to east. What? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. Some kind of celebrity thing. But she said yes. She's coming to the mayor's dinner. It was my job to get her there, and she is coming. - Great. - You're going, right? I don't know. Is this you asking? Yeah. I think it might be. Then this is me accepting. - I think they're gonna kiss. - Yes! Go, Daddy! Go, Daddy! Whoo! Certainly is getting hot in here. I think I'll open up the window. I don't want her to sleep in a stuffy room. Daddy, Daddy. Oh, Jackson! Are you OK? Watch it. Ladder. Are you all right? Let me help you. I'm OK. I'm OK. Mmm. These taste... healthy. What's in them? Squash. Ooh. I want a cowboy. Sorry. That one's taken. - Really? - Yeah. No. Maybe. I don't know. It looks like we're going to be just friends. But he hasn't met Hannah yet. Come on. So, Ha... Ha... Hey, look! It's Hannah Montana! Oh, hi. Sorry, I... I didn't see you. I'm Travis. Thanks for coming. Yeah, happy to help. This is Lilly. She's my assistant. Executive assistant. Welcome to Crowley Corners. It sure would be nice to have someone to... show us around. - Real smooth. - What? Look, I really don't think I'm your guy. But nice to meet you. No, go. Go! So... putting up a satellite dish. It's a birdbath. I knew that. Lilly, could you go find the owner of this fine house and run them through my dietary needs? Go. Assist. OK. So, you and Miley are pretty close, huh? You have no idea. You don't have to answer if you think this is too personal, but you think she'd go out with me if I asked? You want to go out with Miley? No, you'd be a real prize. Don't get me wrong, but... But Miley... I can't help but smile when I'm around her. I think about her all the time. And I... You should go ask her out. - Really? - Mm-hm. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to do that right now. No, no. No. Excuse me. You can't go in there. She's not home. Miley! She's not home. She said something about going to the barn and brushing Blue Jeans. You should go ask her there. Go, go, go! Go. Goodbye. Go! - Slow down, hot stuff. - Got to go. Got to go. Got to go. Miley? Miley! Miley, are you...? Hey, slacker. Uh, hey. I was just talking to your friend, Hannah. Actually, we were talking about you. Oh, really. Was there something you wanted to say or ask me or talk to me about? Well, I know you're going home soon. Yeah, I am. That's right, Travis, keep going. Um, well... I was wondering if maybe you would like to go to dinner with me this evening. OK. Sure. I don't think I have any other plans, so sounds good. - Cool. - Cool. Cool. Now you're talking. Oh, that is the one. Yeah, it would be, but she's not going. What do you mean I can't go? You're the one that promised Lorelai that Hannah would be the guest of honor at the mayor's lobster hoo-hah tonight. - Actually, Lilly did. - Actually, Hannah did. But I promised Travis. You know what? Then I'll just leave it up to you. You do whatever you think is right. But... It's Hannah Montana! Can I have your autograph, Hannah Montana? Smile. - Yeah! - Perfect. Where's Miley? She should be here by now. Hon, she's got East Coast-West Nile disease. - That sucker's traveling. - Yeah. If everybody could please take their seats. - Yes, be seated, everybody. - Find their place card there. And let me just say that, honestly, to have someone of your talents, well, Miss Montana, Hannah, if you will, your offer of a concert tomorrow to save Crowley Meadows from such a sad fate, well, our humble little corner of the world can't thank you enough. And if there's ever anything that myself or the good people of Crowley Corners can do for you, anything you need, all you have to do is... Where did she go? Need. I just need to check on my fans. Hannah, Hannah... See? But what I really need is I need to go to the bathroom. I need to go. Lilly, come with me. Right now! Makeup, clothes, it's all in there. Go. - I'll be right back. Cover for me. - OK. Hey. - Sorry I'm late. - You're not late. I was early. - I got you these. - Thank you. You do know you only have one earring? Trendy L.A. Thing. - I guess you're going back there soon? - Mm-hm. Yeah. Uh... - I'm going to go ahead and jump. - Please jump. - Well, Miley... - Uh-huh. Before you leave... ...I just... I really want you to know how I feel about you. Mm-hm. Um... Is everything all right? I really should take this. I'm sorry, it will just be a second. I swear. I'll probably get better reception in the back. I got two bars. Three bars. Four bars! Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Huh! Now that our guest of honor has returned, dig in! That's a heck of a crawdaddy, isn't it? Oh! So, Hannah, you must have a lot of wonderful stories to tell. Not really. I mean there are just so many. But I don't want this evening to be all about me. I mean, everybody's stories are important, right, Jackson? - Huh? - You just started college. - Tell us about your classes. - Yeah, my classes. Uh... I really like... I think my favorite part is... Dad, that your little boy is growing up into a man. Oh! Oops, dropped my napkin. Harlow! - Harlow! - Ow! - What are you doing? - Looking for a ferret. - What are you doing? - Trying to have my first mature relationship. Now get back up there. Found it. Um... - I'm having the lobster. - It's not on the menu. Right. Sorry. It's been a weird couple of days, but... Yeah. And I think I know some of the things you want to tell me. Yeah? There are so many things I want to tell you, too, and... That's just going to have to wait. I need to go double-check on my lobsters. - Club soda will take that out. - Sit! That's enough. No one is getting up from this table. No one. Dessert, anyone? I'm sure you've all heard of baked Alaska. We give you Tennessee flambé. Mr. Mayor, I assume that you'd like to say a few final words? Oh, yes, yes. Not many people know that the Tennessee flambé was actually invented by... Come here. - Mr. Mayor! - I got you now. Harlow! We got a fire! Dang flam it! This has all gone very well. Don't you think? Sorry, excuse me. Excuse me. Travis, please let me explain. Explain what? That you've been making fun of me? Laughing at me? Lying to me this whole time? I was honest with you. I told you how I felt. - And I feel the same way. - No, you don't. Because I would have never treated you like that. You know what, Miley... Hannah, whoever you are? We're done. Travis! Travis, please. - Did you see? - Yeah, I saw. Robby Ray, is that you down there? Uh... Not now, Lorelai. I've got some family stuff going on. I'm sorry. It's just this whole evening was a disaster. I just organized the whole thing, and then that girl comes in and ruins it. I don't care if she is here for a big concert. She's got a complicated life. I know it's hard to understand, but... What's going on, Robby Ray? I really don't have any time for secrets and lies. I don't know if I could be happy with somebody comfortable living in them. I know. You shouldn't have to be. I should have told you the truth. The truth is that... ...I just don't have any place in my life for a relationship right now. There's no room. Miley and me, we've got to sort through some things. And she needs me. And I kind of need to be there for her. I'm sorry. Well, me too then. Me too. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hannah. Hey, caterpillar. Thanks. No problem. - Are you mad? - No, I'm not mad. You? No. - How's the song coming? - I don't know. I'm not sure yet. What's it about? You. Me. Us. Can I hear it? # You tucked me in, turned out the light # Kept me safe and sound at night # Little girls depend on things like that # Brushed my teeth and combed my hair # Had to drive me everywhere # You were always there when I looked back # You had to do it all alone # Make a living, make a home # It must have been as hard as it could be # And when I couldn't sleep at night # Scared things wouldn't turn out right # You would hold my hand and sing to me Sing with me on this part, Daddy. # Caterpillar in the tree # How you wonder who you'll be # Can't go far, but you can always dream # Wish you may and wish you might # Don't you worry, hold on tight # I promise you there will come a day # Butterfly, fly away # Butterfly, fly away # You got your wings, now you can't stay # Take those dreams and make them all come true # Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly # Butterfly, fly away # - Miley! - Yes! What? Miley! - Are you OK? - Don't you know better than to yell at someone asleep on top of a chicken coop? I do now. Did you do this? Were you out here all night? Just a little hard work. That's all. Life's a climb. Is it time? Yeah, it's time. Let's go. Hey! We received a one-thousand-dollar contribution - from an anonymous benefactor! - We're getting there. Oh, hey. Isn't it awesome? This is terrific! See you at the concert. - Coming through. Coming through. - Stay back! I'm not the agent, I'm not the manager, I'm the grandma. - I'm the real deal. - She's OK. Have a good day, ma'am. Whew, honey. I had no idea. No wonder they hide you away in this camper thingie. Whoo! Oh! Is it always this crazy? Always. Well, I know the getting here was hard, but what you're doing is a good thing. You should be proud of that. I know I am. This was my mom's? Yeah. She'd be proud of you too. Yeah. Thanks. Um, I'm just gonna put it in here so I can... So I can have it in my pocket with my show and everything. That's good, close to you. Thank you. I love you. I love you, darling. Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! Ya! Ya! Yeah! Whoo! I can't do this. Sorry. I've loved being Hannah, but I just don't think I can do it anymore. At least not here, not with you guys. See, this is... this is home. This is where I'm from. This is family. And there's only so many sacrifices you can ask a family to make. The last time I stood on this stage I was six. I was... I was just Miley. And I still am. Hi. It's... It's me. I've hurt a lot of people, but... I didn't mean to. And... if it's not too late... ...I sure would like a second chance. I know you all came to hear Hannah, but... ...if you don't mind, I've written y'all a song. It's kind of personal. It's about what I've learned over the last couple weeks. Life's a climb. But the view is great. - Whoo! - Yeah. Whoo! Thanks for letting me live my Hannah. Bye. Please. Please be Hannah. We'll keep your secret. I'm sorry, I can't. It's too late. Sure, you can! Put the wig back on. You'll never have a normal life if you don't! Hannah's a part of you! Don't let her go! Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! No, please. - Somebody, stop him! - Call security! Watch it! One more step and I hit "send. " - Don't do it. - Sorry, nothing on Earth'll - stop me from... - Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Phoebe, Clarissa, what are you doing? This nice lady sorted it all out. Two free tickets. Upper class. It was brilliant! I thought the girls'd appreciate a couple of free tickets. We too late? She going to sing again? I can't believe that I'm only one degree away... Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! - My gosh! It's Hannah Montana! - It's really her! - You're right there! I'm here! - I can't believe it! I really love you. We're your biggest fans ever, really. You're not going to destroy their dreams, are you? That's what Hannah's all about. - Is that your story? - I must be dreaming! Pinch me! No, that's not my story. - Oh, my gosh! - Girls! - Get this down, Lucinda. - Fire away, Ozzie. Bon Chic magazine is run by a wretched, soulless succubus who preys on the misfortune of others, and I'm not going to put up with it any longer! Ozzie! Ozzie! Come... Think I just quit. Come on. Let's go out front. I think Hannah's got more songs in her. Thanks, partner. - Everybody, stay where you are. - Miley! We got lots more music for you. Remember that crush I had on you, and I said I was over it? Yeah. Uh... Please jump. So not over it. Right on! Hey. And cut it!
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