Literature Is Dead, I Killed It @soffsh2 - Tumblr Blog

Office Hours

Warnings: Contains mature content (Minors DNI, 18+)

Plot Summary: One of the University’s library attendants catches your eye through a series of standoffish encounters with her.

God, you are so fucking late. How the hell did you manage to sleep through all your alarms? Your partners and you had agreed to meet up at 4 p.m. in the study room, and it was already 4:10 while you sprinted through campus in an attempt to make it there as soon as possible. As you run, you type out an apology message to them, telling them that you’ll get there as quickly as you can, but that didn’t help the fact that when you arrived, you had no idea where the study room was.

You transferred to Brown just this year, so you were still figuring out where buildings were and how they were laid out, much to your own embarrassment. Nothing has ever been more humiliating than asking a freshman for directions to the junior dorms. Nevertheless, the directions to your specific room would be a problem you’d deal with when you actually got there.

You ran for a few minutes before you finally made it to the library. In your haste, you almost slam into the sliding glass doors that are just slightly too slow to open. Walking into the university’s library, you look back at the text your group mates sent. ‘I booked room 125 for us.’ Okay, perfect. All you needed to do was figure out where that was, and you’d only be a few minutes late; they’d understand.

Admittedly, this was the first time you’d been in the university’s library since transferring, so you were a little awestruck. The inside was far more grandiose than you were expecting; the chandeliers and many rows of books made it look like something out of Hogwarts. Right in the middle of the library foyer, there was a large wooden desk where a brown-haired library attendant sat, reading a book. It seemed that she was your best bet to find where you were meant to go.

You walk up to the large desk adorned with a small metal bell and stand in front of her, waiting to be acknowledged, to no avail. She seems far too engrossed in her reading to see you were there, in need of directions. “Excuse me?” You try. The brunette ignores you and keeps her eyes trained on her book. "Um, excuse me?” You repeat, giving her the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t hear you. This time, instead of outright ignoring you, she gives you a pointed look over her book and then goes back to reading. Well, there was no way you could give her the benefit of the doubt now.

“I was wondering if you could help me find this study room—” Without even looking up from her book, she cuts you off by pointing to a sign on the desk that reads, ‘Please Keep Quiet in the Library.’ You can’t help the insulted expression that makes its way onto your face. You’re able to catch a smirk on her face before she returns to being stoic. To add insult to injury, she spins her chair to face her back towards you. Oh, she was not making this easy.

You stand there for a moment trying to figure out what to do from here, as the brown-haired girl made it obvious she was not in the mood to assist you. But you still needed help, and she was your best bet. So you were determined to get her to be the one to help you, if not to just be a bother. You have an idea. Reaching for a piece of paper from your bag and taking a pen off the desk, you scribbled something down.

You press down on the bell that you saw as soon as you approach the desk. You can see the girl cringe at the sound, but she didn’t move besides that, keeping her back facing you. You were hoping for that. You hit the bell again, then again, and suddenly barraged the bell. Pressing incessantly until the ringing was too much for her to bear.

The girl turns around angrily, snatching the bell from under your hand. She got as up into your face as she could with the desk separating you, both hands planted on the wood to stabilize herself. “What?!” She tries to keep her shout as hushed as possible, but it wasn’t a valiant effort, as evidenced by the several shushes heard from students in the vicinity of the shouting.

With her attention now on you, you point at the sign that she had used to dismiss you earlier, with an all too pleased look on your face. You can see her jaw locking in frustration and her eyes narrowing at you. Boy, she had a temper on her. If looks could kill, you would’ve been dead and buried several times over at this point. Deciding that you had angered her enough and because you were a little intimidated, you held up your paper that read, “Where is study room 125?”

She groans before pointing somewhere vaguely behind her and to the right. You mouthe a ‘thank you’ to her and were about to head towards where she pointed when she gathered a couple books into her arms and shoulder checked you as she passed, heading somewhere deeper into the library.

You hike your backpack strap up higher onto your shoulder before sparing one last glance at the girl's desk. Noticing something new that revealed itself once she was out of the chair: a blue and yellow varsity jacket with a name written out in cursive. ‘Shauna?’ you read. You hum at the newfound name of the brunette. She was kind of pretty when she was mad.

==================================

The next time you ended up in the library was to check out a couple books for a research assignment. After browsing around for a bit, you finally gathered the books you needed for your paper. Sauntering up to the check-out desk, you were about to mark this errand down as a success. That is, until you saw who the attendant was. It was the brunette from your previous encounter.

She hadn’t yet noticed you, or maybe she had forgotten the whole first encounter entirely. You were hoping it was the latter. She turns her back and is organizing some paperwork when you finally muster up the courage to approach. You place the books that you've gathered on the desk and speak up.

“Hello, checking out, please.” You say it in a much more confident tone than you’d had in your first meeting, hoping she can’t recognize your voice.

“Sure, one sec—” She turns around as she responds, and as soon as she makes eye contact with you, she scoffs. You guess she remembers you. It was a fair response; you didn’t exactly leave the best first impression. Then again, neither did she.

She looks like she wants to do anything in her power to avoid assisting you, but she knew how that ended the last time. So, she begrudgingly began the check-out process of scanning and recording all of the first book's information. She was silent in between the flapping open of the pages and covers, the beep of the scanner, and the glares she’d shoot your way. The intensity of her gaze made you want to speak, even though the better part of your mind knew you shouldn’t.

“I guess you didn’t forget the first time we met, huh?” She didn’t acknowledge you at all this time, continuing to scan and log the books. A slight tinge of guilt washes over you, making you want to apologize, more so to not have awkward encounters with her going forward. You knew your workload would make you spend a lot of time in the library, and you’d be avoiding her a lot if you didn’t make amends. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. I just needed help; I wasn’t looking to annoy you. My name is Y/n; I only transferred here this year.”

You assume your apology fell upon deaf ears because she is deathly silent for a few seconds, the only sounds being pages turning and a distant cough somewhere in the library. She doesn’t even look up from her little check-out process when she responds.

“You know, you interrupted a really good book.” The way she said it made it sound like more of a warning than a joke. You inhale slightly and mumble another apology. She hesitates for a moment, as if she were deciding what to say next, if anything. “It’s Shauna, by the way.” You’d gathered as much after the previous meeting, but you’d never tell her that. You were thankful for any interaction with the girl where she didn’t look like she wanted to kill you.

There’s a pause once again as she scans each book and stacks it onto the ones she's already done. She says nothing more to you, so you assume she’s finished with the conversation. You open up your bag to make room for the books and grab your library card as she places the final research book on the stack.

“Is that all? What about that one?” She gestures at your own book that you had just removed from your bag to fit the other books into.

“Oh no, this one’s mine.” You hold up the paperback copy to show which book you’re referring to. Upon this action, however, allows her a closer look at the state of your reading material. She looked absolutely mortified.

“Oh my god, it looks like a mess; it’s practically falling apart. And you dog-ear the pages? Are you a criminal?” To say her outburst surprised you was an understatement. You pull the book back to your body and recoil. She’s scolding you over your own book? You look at it again. It looked perfectly fine to you. Maybe a little worn out at the crease, and yeah, dog-eared pages, but it wasn’t hanging on by a thread like she made it out to be.

“What are you talking about? It looks fine. And of course I do; how am I meant to know where I left off without marking it?” You argue, getting defensive and slightly embarrassed as you try to shove the book back into your bag.

“Um, use a bookmark, like a civilized human? God, are you a toddler? That’s like basic book etiquette.” She says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

"Jesus, am I getting lectured right now? Just give me my books so I can leave.” You shove your library card into her hands and stand there impatiently. You should’ve guessed that she’d be pretentious about something even as stupid as this. And to think you apologized for being bitchy. Shauna scans your card and grabs something behind her computer before she goes on her librarian schpeel.

“Please return the books within the allotted time. If you need an extension on the return date, please come back so we can adjust and you don’t get fined. If the books are missing or returned damaged…” She puts emphasis on that word and looks you in the eye. “Then you will be fined the full amount for a new copy of the same book. Thank you.” She finishes it off by handing you back your card with a sickly sweet smile that was so fake you wanted to roll your eyes. You start wrapping your hands around your books before she speaks up one final time.

"Also, learn to use this so you don’t destroy any more books.” She tosses a bookmark at you before going back to organizing the paperwork she put on hold to help you. The bookmark itself is almost insulting. It looks like one you’d get at the scholastic book fair as a kid, showcasing a worm with glasses and the phrase ‘Reading is cool’ in big, bold letters.

You wanted to retaliate; in fact, it seemed like she was hoping you would, loving every second of locking horns with you. But to your absolute dismay, you could think of nothing. You gathered your books and walked away, catching the smug grin that graced her lips as she caught sight of the bookmark that you took with you.

==================================

You found yourself back at the library once again, working on an essay for class. You had gotten there in the late afternoon, and since your arrival, the sky has grown dark and the light drizzle has turned into an outright downpour. You were relieved you’d brought your umbrella earlier; otherwise, the walk back to your dorm would be miserable. You had to give it to your parents; you didn’t think an umbrella was a necessity when packing for college. Boy, did they prove you wrong. However, you still thought that them having your initials etched onto the handle was a bit much, ‘in case someone stole it’ they said.

Gathering up all your books and all the items you’d had strewn about on the library table, you pack everything to head home. While you walk towards the exit, you take notice that you’re one of the few people still remaining in the building; everyone else was probably smart enough to get back before the rain picked up.

At the entrance, you find Shauna standing at the doorway but making no effort to go outside. She looked mad; she always seemed to have an upset expression on her face. You pull off your headphones that you wore when you were studying to address her. The loud music no longer playing in your ears allowed you to hear the rolling thunder that sounded off every few seconds. You decided you had a minute to spare to let the thunder pass before you continued back to your apartment. So you stood next to her, waiting for a pause in the rain so you could leave, but nothing came.

After a few minutes of standing next to her without either of you saying a word, you finally break. “Hey, waiting on a ride?” You ask, your morbid curiosity about the angry girl getting the better of you. She turns at the sound of your voice but groans upon seeing who was talking to her and turns back to face outside.

“How am I always stuck with you?” It’s a barely audible mumble, but you can hear it. She finally turns and fully faces you, leaning her back against the wall. “But to answer your question, no. I walked today, and my roommate doesn't have her license, so she can’t pick me up.” She sighs.

You give her a sympathetic look. "Oh, that sucks. Do you have far to walk?” A crack of thunder sounds during the pause for Shauna’s response. She cringes and looks miserable at the idea of walking any distance in that storm.

“I live off campus.” She says finally, after the roaring sound stopped. Jeez, that would be a long walk, and she is definitely not layered properly to brave that weather.

“Yikes, that will definitely take a while.” She groans at your statement.

”God, I’m going to kill Jackie.” The roommate, you presume, “She told me to dress light today because it’d be hot. I’m gonna be drenched when I get home.” You give her a sympathetic look before reaching into your backpack and pulling out your umbrella.

“Here.” You stand up and hold it out to her. She looked confused at it for a second, her narrowing eyes shifting between you and the umbrella you held in your hand. She quickly gathers that you were being genuine and tries to deny it.

“No, I can't take your umbrella.” She says pushing your hand back to your body.

“Don’t worry about it; I’ll be fine. I live in one of the university apartments, so it won’t take too long for me to get back. Just take it.” You hold it out again and place the umbrella in her arms.

“Are you sure? How am I gonna get it back to you?”

“Positive. And don’t sweat it; I’ll be here almost every day to study, so you can give it back whenever you get a chance.” At that, you pull the hood of your jacket over your head, leaving no room for her to argue further. “Later.” You say to her as you head out the door, and you’re sure you saw a small smile on her face as you left.

==================================

You were hoping that the most recent interaction between you and Shauna was enough to spark some sort of friendly behavior between the two of you, and you were eager to get back to the library and have her return the umbrella with a gracious smile and a ‘thank you.’ Only that’s not what happened.

In reality, you would find it waiting at the entrance with a post-it note saying ‘Y/n’ placed right over the initials on the handle. No Shauna, smile, or anything. It wounded you a bit, but you guess Shauna wasn’t that type of girl. But certainly, it was enough of a kind gesture that you’d be able to go up and talk to her.

You’d caught her sorting out books in the rows of bookshelves by the private study room that had become your usual go-to place. Shauna had noticed you frequenting the room, catching her staring a few times while you worked on an assignment for class. Lucky for you, you needed to find a book to continue working, and she happened to be right there, so what was the harm of asking her?

Sauntering up to her side as she was replacing all the novels in their rightful spot, she took no notice of you until you were right next to her. You awkwardly drummed your hands against the hardwood shelf.

“Shauna, just the girl I wanted to see! Listen, can I get your help with—”

“I’m going to stop you right there, new kid.” The nickname made you feel juvenile; you couldn’t describe the immediate effect all her words had on you. It put you on edge in an instant. Making you stand stiffer and putting on a face of confusion as she continued.

“What you did the other day, that was really nice. But just because you’re nice to me one time doesn’t mean I’m gonna like you, or wanna be friends or anything. Don’t expect any niceties from me.”

Obviously, you didn’t assume that you and her would become best friends after, but you’d thought you’d get some cordial interactions with Shauna going forward. So hearing each word was like a blow to the stomach. You couldn’t pinpoint why you wanted some semblance of a friendship or even an acquaintanceship with her. Either way, the sentiment hurt a lot more than you were willing to show, so you put on a brave face.

“Oh… I didn’t assume.” Your smile only faltered for a moment before you managed to put on a neutral expression, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. A part of you was hoping it was a practical joke, but Shauna doesn’t seem the type.

“Perfect, glad you’re on the same page.” Shauna flashes you a tight-lipped smile with a pair of raised eyebrows as she pushes past you. If you were grasping at straws, you would say it was at least more gentle than the first time she shoulder bumped you, but that just made you seem pathetic.

Once Shauna was out of sight, going up the stairs to the next floor, you had to resist the urge to shout out ‘You’re welcome’ at her. You returned to your study room without the book you set out to get and with a small ache in your chest.

==================================

You began to make it a habit to run into Shauna if you saw that she was working. Attempting to give her a friendly smile or greeting here and there when you could, but her words stayed fresh in your mind. ‘Just because you’re nice to her once doesn't mean she liked you.’ You gave the sentence a lot more thought than you’d care to admit. If at all possible, you were somehow more determined to make her like you after she said that, which you’re sure wasn’t the goal.

It felt as if every time you caught sight of her, your leg was bouncing up and down like you were an addict experiencing withdrawals. You debated continuing the not-caring act, hoping that your indifference to her dislike towards you would give her pause about the whole thing. Then you thought about being super positive and affectionate, but you’re positive you’d get punched in the face with that approach.

In truth, you were just desperate for any excuse to talk to her. You’d plan all sorts of things to say or do that would require her to assist you, but you'd always find yourself too nervous to even bother. It became apparent that half of your time in the library was spent working while the other half was trying to find a way to change her mind.

Another rainy day where you found yourself going to the library had you hoping that maybe Shauna would need to borrow your umbrella again. It wasn’t necessarily a great plan; in truth, it was probably the worst plan you had conceived thus far, but it was the nicest interaction you’d had with her, and you wished to replicate it if you could.

After studying for hours, you decide to call it a night and start packing up. The sun was about to set from what you could see from the windows, and the rain had certainly lightened up, which put a wrench in your plan. After packing up your bag, you head towards the front desk, only pausing when you see Shauna at her desk talking to another student.

The girl had an inviting smile while she spoke animatedly to Shauna, and Shauna wore a warm expression with her as well. You couldn’t help the small pang of jealousy that surged through you. She’d never acted like that with you; why would she be like that with this girl that you’d never even seen in the library before? You hadn’t seen Shauna so at ease conversing with someone while she worked. Every other student that you had seen approach her got the same sour expression. Like she was annoyed that anyone would disturb her by asking her to do her job.

Shauna exits from behind the desk and heads off somewhere while the girl she was talking to turns and sits down on one of the benches. You walked up to the desk while Shauna was gone, waiting for her to come back so you could maybe offer up the umbrella, but all you could do was stare at the other girl, who was seemingly waiting for Shauna as well.

She sat, scrolling through her phone, in her rain-soaked ‘Brown University Soccer’ sweatshirt. Her hair was slightly dampened on her forehead as well, but she wore the look so well that you’d think it was intentional. She was a pretty girl, no doubt about that. You could understand why Shauna had a soft smile on her face when she spoke to her. Frankly, you’d think any attention from this girl would be flattering.

Almost as if she felt your eyes on her, the girl looks up from her phone and catches you staring at her. You quickly avert your eyes, but you can still feel hers boring into the side of your face, then quickly raking over you before landing on your hands. She hums slightly, as if she found what she was looking for, before she makes her way over. You can hear the sound of her footsteps approaching you and feel her presence beside you before she speaks up. “Hey, you.”

Her raspy voice and flirtatious tone made you understand Shauna’s warmth towards the girl. You wished you could just stay looking straight, but the girl's acknowledgment made you turn your head towards her. "Oh, you’re cute.” The compliment caught you off guard. The way she said it was slightly like an observation, like she was judging you, and then slightly like she was flirting with you on her own.

“Uh, thank you.” You say it a little hesitantly, hoping it doesn’t come off as ungrateful. She points to your hand.

“That umbrella, it's yours, right?” Shit, you forgot you even had the thing on you. You nod, a little confused at her question, before she throws her arms around you and wraps you in a tight hug.

“Oh my gosh, you’re the one that let Shauna borrow it! You’re literally a lifesaver. I thought she was gonna come home soaking wet and strangle me.” Though the tone of voice she used was chipper, what she was saying was mildly concerning. She pulls away with a smile, but you guess your hesitance showed on your face as she quickly follows her sentence up with “But she didn’t, obviously.” She reaches out her hand with a smile. “I’m Jackie, Shauna’s roommate.”

You inwardly smack yourself for being stupid before smiling, taking Jackie’s hand, and introducing yourself. Jackie starts yapping at you as if you were her best friend. You liked Jackie; she was super friendly and upbeat, which was a real switch-up from her roommate.

“I’m surprised I haven't seen you in here; I spend nearly every day in this place.”

"God, yeah, I don’t come here too much. I came from class and didn’t pack a hoodie or anything, so I dropped by to ask Shauna for a ride home after her shift was over.” In the nicest way, you couldn’t see her spending too much time in the library; you just wish she did. She seems like the kind of person you’d want to hang out with.

“I’m still a little confused; how’d you know it was me that lent it to her?” Jackie scoffs with a smile.

“That stupid little engraving, silly.” If anyone else had said that, you’d have been slightly offended on behalf of your parents, but Jackie had an inflection in her tone that made it sound obviously dumb. Not to mention, she was inherently right.

“Oh god, you two met.” Shauna’s voice breaks through both of you, making you and Jackie turn to her. She’s got that blue and yellow letterman jacket on now, looking like she was about to head out with Jackie. Shauna looks at you. “What did you need?”

“Shauna, be nice!” Jackie cuts in, scolding her friend, and then looking at you with a smile. You subtly try to hide the umbrella behind your form, suddenly embarrassed at the original plan.

“Oh, just stopping by to say ‘goodnight.’” You feel yourself get a little red with both Jackie and Shauna’s attention on you. They both seem to take the reason at face value, which you’re thankful for because if they questioned you, you’re sure you’d stumble through the excuse. You avert your eyes too quickly to notice Shauna with a small smile, but Jackie doesn’t. When you look back, there’s a neutral expression on Shauna's face, but Jackie has a look of utter elation.

“So Y/n,” Jackie starts. “We have to make plans outside of university; we have to go get drinks or something. All three of us.” She puts emphasis on ‘three’ while pulling Shauna closer to the two of you.

"Oh, Jackie, that’s sweet, but I wouldn’t wanna disturb Shauna outside of office hours.” You say it with a teasing tone, but it genuinely is a fear of yours. Shauna said as much. You weren’t friends. But it seemed that Shauna couldn’t ignore the influence Jackie had.

“No, maybe we should sometime. When the semester calms down, She says it as casually as she can, so you couldn’t dare read into it more than she allowed. She turns to Jackie before you can respond. “You ready to go?” Jackie nods her head like a toddler and starts walking out. It seemed like they were going to leave you behind when she stopped and turned back towards you. “Are you going to walk out with us?”

You’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so you happily trot next to them and walk out to the parking lot. You say your farewells to the two girls, Jackie being much more personable than Shauna when saying goodbye, and start heading towards the dorm while they walk to Shauna’s car. As you get further away from the pair, you can faintly hear Jackie squealing at Shauna. “Shauna, she's so cute!”

“Don’t even think about it, Jackie.”

“Not for me, for you!”

==================================

God, this new schedule was kicking your ass. You had to kick studying into high gear as exams approached. Going to class early and staying late, talking to professors, and spending almost twice the amount of time studying. You haven’t slept properly in days, needing to dedicate any extra time that you have to studying. All those instances in which you chose to study over sleep culminated in the situation you currently find yourself in.

A loud thud beside your ear jolts you from your slumber, and you hazily take in your surroundings. This wasn’t your bedroom; oh god, you fell asleep in the library? You look up at whoever woke you up and see Shauna with a disgruntled look on her face. She gathers up the books she dropped right by your head.

“It’s past close. Get out.”

“You know, you should really work on your customer service skills.” She gives you a shrug and waits for you to get moving, but otherwise she doesn't acknowledge your slight against her. You try to wipe the haziness from your eyes and adjust. It was a familiar type of feeling, like when you’d fall asleep in the car as a kid and wake up in your bedroom. You’re unfamiliar, a little uneased and so tired still. Looking at the time on your phone, you curse, suddenly feeling so bad about being the reason Shauna was still here so late. “Shit, I’m really sorry; I didn’t mean to keep you here.”

Your actions are slow as you gather up all your books that are scattered around the table in the private room. Shauna had as sympathetic a look as she was able to muster, which wasn’t much given who she was.

“Didn’t sleep last night?” She sounds like she was only half interested in your answer. You shake your head tiredly and sigh.

“Nah, since exams are around the corner, I’ve been taking extra time. And my studying runs too late, so the coffee shop closes before I get out. I can’t function without caffeine and on such little sleep.” She hums at your words and turns to walk away from you once she’s seen that you’ve almost gathered everything.

“You have drool on your cheek, by the way.” Shauna says, pointing to her own cheek to give you direction. Absolutely mortified, you quickly wipe at your face, trying to dry it. When you look at her again, Shauna smirks at you. You tried to say something in defense of yourself, but you truthfully had nothing. Even if you did, you’d think you were too tired to try.

You brush past Shauna and out the library doors and slowly wander back to your apartment and your bed.

The next day, you were back in the library at about the same time that you arrived yesterday. Only this time, when you went to the study room you always booked, there was a cup left behind with a small post-it note attached to it. ‘Just so you don’t fall asleep in here again, I wanna leave on time - Shauna.’

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Shauna and having a place to study weren’t the only reasons you came to the library, though. Sometimes you were simply looking for reading material. The latest trendy book was making its way through the recommendation lists, and you were finally convinced to get it. The only problem was that the local Barnes & Noble sold out of all their copies. Your friend told you there was a copy available in the library, so you went there to try and find it. You just so happened to be going during Shauna’s hours, which you were unaware of until too late.

Approaching the desk without sparing a glance at the attendant that was working while you pulled up the name and author of the book on your phone.

“Hi, I’ve been looking for this book, I—”

"Oh, hey, transfer kid.” The familiar voice startled you. Your voice catches in your throat, suddenly horrifyingly aware that you were about to get Shauna to help you find a cornier version of a Wuthering Heights-type tragic-romance story.

“You said you were looking for a book?” Your mind goes blank, trying to think of any book title that would make you seem cool and intelligent. You had nothing. You try to hide your phone screen so Shauna can’t see the cover or name, desperately trying to protect her image of you. It being one of those sad romance books, you were positive that Shauna would make fun of you for it.

After you don't respond, Shauna takes it upon herself to glance at the screen before you can properly hide it.

“Is that the one? Here, lemme see if I can find it.” Shauna gestures to your phone in hand, and you weigh the options. This did seem to be the only way you’d get your hands on a copy, so you hesitantly handed her your phone.

Upon seeing the specific book you were trying to check out, Shauna’s reaction was not immediately making fun of you, which was surprising. Rather, she wore an introspective face before giving you a sympathetic look.

"Oh, sorry, the library copy is out, and there’s a long waitlist.” God, of course you’d embarrass yourself for nothing. Now Shauna would think you were one of those romance novel girls; that’s humiliating. You can’t help but let your disappointment slip into your reaction.

“Dammit, I was actually really looking forward to reading it.” Shauna looks as if she was contemplating something before looking at you with an intent expression. “Wait here; I’ll be right back.”

She swiftly heads towards the back office of the library, leaving you alone standing at the front desk. You shift momentarily before Shauna returns, a book in hand. As soon as she’s in front of you, she gives the book to you; miraculously, it was a copy of the novel you were looking for.

“What? No way, you have a copy?” You excitedly grab the book and skim through it. It looked like it had already been read back and forth; the margins on every other page were littered with annotations. It takes only a moment for it to click, and your smile drops. “Shauna, I can't borrow this; it’s yours.”

You try to hand it back to her, and she steadfastly backs away from your outstretched hand, trying to return the novel to her.

“No, take it and read it. You wanted to.” It’s the most sincere Shauna has ever been with you. Her insistence made you blush. She looks like she knew she won the argument because she smirked at you. “Just promise me you’ll use that bookmark.” Shauna seemed to be more of a romantic than she’d led you to believe.

==================================

After studying for weeks on end, your friends finally convince you to head out to a party for one night. ‘It’s not going to kill you.’ They said. Well, they aren’t waist deep in final projects and essays in their new school. Whatever will shut them up for a few days, and maybe you missed going out a little.

Arriving at one of the already packed sorority houses, your friends disperse to collect alcohol from the kitchen area and leave you alone. If you were going to be away from your desk and unable to study, you were at least going to make the most of it, you supposed. Very quickly, you find yourself wandering around the party, pouring shots of vodka down your throat like water. You’d worry about the hangover when it came, for now you were focusing on the fun. An hour or so passes when you decide to try and find your friends.

Stumbling into a different room, you see a familiar figure off in the corner, nursing her drink and looking into the crowd of people dancing. Shauna was certainly a sight; even in your drunken stupor, you could see she looked stunning. Trading in her usual flannel for an eye-catching red dress, you’re sure due in no small part to Jackie’s insistence.

You approach her, the drink in your hand sloshing as you walk, as she’s still staring somewhere deep into the crowd. You startle her slightly when you speak.

“Hey, Shauna.” You slur out.

“Oh Jesus. Hey.” She clutches her chest slightly before offering you a small smile. She takes you in for a second and scoffs gently. She raises her eyebrow at you, questioningly. “How plastered are you? You smell like a distillery.”

You pout at her, "Oh, come on, Shauna, can’t a girl live?” Shauna rolls her eyes at you and focuses back on the crowd. “I wouldn’t have guessed this to be your scene.” You try. You’re not sure Shauna can hear you; she's staring so intensely in the same direction as before. Your curiosity gets the better of you.

“What’re we looking at?” You try to find out who she's staring at and find Jackie in Shauna’s sight line.

“Trying to make sure that girl doesn't make the mistake of getting back with her ex.” You look next to Jackie and see a blonde boy next to her, eyeing her up and down as she does her best to ignore him.

“Jesus,” You squint to get a good look at the guy. “He looks like he bathes in Axe.” Jackie dated him? She must’ve been doing charity work or something. You grimace at Shauna.

“You can smell him walk into a room before you see him.” She confirms with a smirk. You gag at the thought. You look back to Jackie, who was already excitedly making her way over, leaving her ex behind. As soon as she gets to you, she wraps you in a tight hug.

“Y/n!” She squeals at you as she pulls back from your embrace. “It’s so good to see you! Doesn’t Shauna look great in the dress I picked out for her?” You called it.

“Yeah, she looks great.” You smile at Shauna, who averts her eyes from you, and Jackie just beams.

“See, Shauna? Everyone loves the boob dress.”

“The what?” Shauna groans at your question. Jackie gestures to the low-cut baby doll dress Shauna was wearing.

“This lovely dress that I got Shauna last year, which she never wears,” Jackie pouts at her friend. The boob dress was certainly a fitting name for the piece of fabric. “Anywho, I have to run and find someone to kiss so Jeff will stop following me around tonight. Y/n?” Jackie smiles at you, flirtily and invitingly.

“Goodbye Jackie.” Shauna says it firmly, leaving no room for Jackie to debate.

“Aw, no fun, Shippy.” Jackie pouts as she begins backing up. "Okay, bye, Y/n, bye Shauna. Text me when we’re heading home!” And with that, Jackie quickly disappears into the crowd. You turn to Shauna.

“Well—” your sentence is quickly cut off by a large body colliding with yours, sending you flying into Shauna. The smell of Axe fills your nose as the boy follows after Jackie.

“Jackie, wait up!” Jeff shouts desperately at her, trying to catch up to her.

“I hate him already.” You say as you separate from being pressed up against Shauna. Once you look down, you find your cup empty; the contents spilled all over the front of Shauna’s dress.

“Oh my god, no! We gotta get that out; lemme help.”

You grab Shauna by the hand, leading her throughout the party and into the upstairs bathroom. You begin drunkenly fumbling with the faucet and hand towels, trying to wet them so you can try and dab out the stain the drink would surely leave. Shauna keeps trying to calm you down, but her words drown out as you lightly press the towel against her body repeatedly.

The room is silent as you get more and more desperate to get the stain out of her dress, if not for Shauna, for Jackie. She was tiny, but she still didn’t seem like the kind of girl you’d want to upset.

“Y/n, seriously, I think you’re taking this way more seriously than you should.” Shauna tries to assure you, but your drunken state can’t let it go.

“God, Jackie’s going to kill me for ruining the boob dress.” You say it only half jokingly, because Jackie may actually kill you for that. The far-off look you gave as you spoke made Shauna burst into laughter.

You’d never seen her laugh before. The sight was so intimate to you that you felt like you should avert your eyes for her privacy, but you simply couldn’t. You were entranced by her. The moment felt different to you. Driven by all the alcohol in your system, you surge forward and lock lips with Shauna.

Her lips tasted of the cherry-flavored jungle juice they were serving in the kitchen, and her lips were so soft. But Shauna wasn’t reciprocating. It’s only two seconds later that you realize what you've done. You pull away, and Shauna’s eyes are wide open in shock. You suddenly feel so very sober.

“Shit, Shauna I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that; well, I did, but I thought you felt the same but—” You take a breath from rambling and try to think for a moment. "Okay, wait, let me restart. I really like you. I’ve felt this way for a while. You’re so stunning, and you give me a hard time, but it's never annoying when it’s you. I wanna see if we could maybe go out because I think you’re incredible. Please?”

The words pour out of you like a fire hydrant. You couldn’t stop the flow if you tried, and the more you said, the more shocked Shauna looked. She doesn’t utter a word; she just stares at you. You’re not sure you’d like what she had to say if she spoke, but any reaction is better than no reaction.

“Shauna?” Shauna glances into your eyes, at your lips, and then runs out the door. It seemed that all at once Shauna regained movement in her body; she was here one second and gone the next, and suddenly you were alone in the bathroom.

“Fuck.”

==================================

The following Sunday, you make your way back to the library, mostly to try and smooth things over with Shauna. You really messed everything up. You got caught up in the moment, and she just looked so good. You hoped she’d be able to accept your apology; the guilt was eating you alive, and you really didn’t want to have to go downtown to the city’s library instead.

Walking up to the desk, you found an unfamiliar attendant. There's no sign of Shauna, but maybe she's still in the library somewhere.

“Hi, excuse me, is Shauna working?” You ask the girl.

“No, sorry.” She gives you a small sympathetic look.

“Oh, well, if she comes in, can you tell her Y/n is in study room 125, and I’d like to talk to her if I can?” You try, hoping that Shauna will come in for a later shift or something. She nods, and you thank her, making your way to the room slightly dejected. It would've been helpful to just talk to Shauna then and there and beg for her forgiveness, but you guess you’ll have to try the hard way if Shauna’s even willing to speak with you.

Every minute feels exponentially longer. You tried to focus on doing some work—any work, in fact—but you just kept glancing at the clock and seeing how much time had elapsed since you got here. The hours ticked by so slowly and so quickly at the same time, and before you knew it, the library was closing.

The final warning tone sounded to signify that the library was closed. You looked out the window of the private room and saw the remaining students filing out of the library until you were the last person. You guessed you’d have to talk to Shauna another night. You begin the process of saving all your work and packing up when your focus is broken by the sound of the study room’s door opening.

You turn and find Shauna; her eyes already raking over you with an intensity that makes you shiver. She closes the door, still facing you, and leans back against it. You get up from your chair and approach her.

“Shauna, I was looking for you. Listen, I am so sorry. I was so drunk and crossed a boundary.” You try to keep some distance between the two of you so you don’t make her uncomfortable. Her expression was unreadable, with her jaw clenched and her brown eyes holding a scrutinizing gaze on you. You can’t help but feel small in the awkwardness of the moment. You wished the world would swallow you whole with every second of silence that passed between the two of you.

“Did you mean it?” She says, finally breaking the silence. You give her a confused look, not entirely sure what she was referring to. Her gaze hardens on you as she repeats herself.

“All the stuff you said the other night, did you mean it?”

“Well, yeah, but we don’t have to talk about—” She crosses over to you before you can finish your sentence and silences you with her lips. She tugs possessively at your hair with one hand while the other finds solace grabbing at your shirt with a balled-up fist. The action catches you so off guard that you have to think for a moment about how you ended up kissing her again. It doesn't take more than a second to process and place your hands on her waist, pulling her body closer to you.

Shauna mumbles something against your lips that you couldn’t make out, so you continue kissing her. After a second, she pulls back and says it again. “Fuck me, now.” You barely have time to nod your head ‘yes’ before she's attacking your lips again and pulling you towards the study room table.

Once her legs are pressed against the edge of the table, you lift her by her thighs to sit on top of it, never once breaking the kiss as she starts undoing her jeans. Once she has them unzipped, you assist her in tugging them down her legs. You couldn’t help but let a hand wander from her waist down to grip at her newly exposed thighs. The tight muscles in her legs are tensing at the soft caress of your touch.

Her hand on your shoulder makes its way to grab your jaw, and she moves your mouth to her neck. Shauna moans the second you start sucking small hickies onto the skin right under her ear. Her hand slowly snakes over your shoulder, grabbing you by the back of the neck to keep you in place, while the other is managing to strip off her underwear.

Shauna is able to work the fabric down to her knees when she pulls you to her lips again. The kiss was brief, as she pulled away slightly. She grabs your hand and inserts your middle and ring fingers into her mouth, all while holding your gaze. She drags her tongue over each finger, and you could go weak at the sight alone. The feeling of her going over and around each index made you shiver at the sensation.

She pulls them out and moves them down her body towards the apex of her legs. You didn’t need the instruction; you’d have done it gladly, but something told you she liked the control. So you allowed her to puppeteer your hand any way she pleased.

The second your fingers touched her pussy, you were able to feel just how wet she was, and you resist the urge to tease her because of how badly you needed to fuck her. Shauna groans, her nails digging into the flesh of your neck, as soon as you slide your fingers up her lips, pausing at her entrance.

“Fingers, inside.” Shauna says to you, and you do as you’re told. Sliding into Shauna with no resistance, she sighs, finally satisfied, as you begin slowly pumping in and out of her. Every time you thrust your fingers deep into her, she’d pull your torso impossibly closer to her, leaving you barely any space to move your arms so you could continue fucking her.

The lewd, wet sounds she made as you pumped were only interrupted by her breathy moans. You want to draw this out as long as you can, beginning to slow down your pace, much to Shauna's anger.

“What are you doing? Why are you stopping?” Her eyes were wide and filled with frustration.

“Say ‘Please.’” You state simply, continuing your slow pace and placing your other hand on Shauna’s waist.

“What? No.” Shauna looks angry; you even asked that of her.

“I wanna hear you say it,” you say, getting close to her ear. “Or else I’ll stop.” You pull back from Shauna with a large grin.

“No way.” You simply shrug and start to remove your hand from between her legs. As soon as you try to move your hand, Shauna clamps your hand between her thighs. It’s only then that she realizes you were being serious. She tries mumbling it against your skin at first, but it doesn’t make you finger her any faster. She even tries grinding her hips against your hand, to no avail, as your hand is holding them steady.

“Beg Shipman.” You look at Shauna with a devilish smirk before sucking hickies onto Shauna’s neck while you wait for her to comply. She simply had no other way to avoid it.

“Please!” It’s a desperate cry. Louder than you expected she’d be, truthfully.

“Shhhh, you have to be quiet in the library. Remember?” Shauna can feel you smirk against her neck in between the open-mouthed kisses you left there. She tried to string together an insult or quip in response quickly, but your thumb doing slow, firm circles on her clit was making her draw a blank. Your hot breath on the side of her neck and shoulders was fogging up her mind even more than she thought possible, and she desperately tried to get out a single coherent thought.

“Fuck y—oh my fucking god.” Shauna’s sentence is cut off by you biting down on her shoulder and picking up the pace once again, faster this time. Her eyes shut in bliss as she held your hand in place between her legs.

After a few more pumps, Shauna’s cumming for you with a gasp and a call of your name. Her nails rake down your back, and you know they left marks even over the shirt you were wearing. Once Shauna opened her eyes again, the hazy look she previously had was replaced with blown pupils. You can’t help the smug grin that overtakes your features.

“Did I seriously hear you say ‘please’ at some point? Shauna, it's wonderful that you’re finally learning your manners.” You smiled at her, and she did not look thrilled at the comment.

Her hand that was gripping onto your shoulder slowly inched up to your face, cupping one of your cheeks. She stared at your lips possessively while she lightly rubbed her thumb across them.

“I can think of a better use for this mouth instead of you running it.” Shauna pulls you in for a kiss, smirking against your lips and quickly breaking the kiss to direct your head in between her legs.

==================================

The next day, when you came to the library and went into your study room, you found yet another coffee waiting for you with another note.

‘Date Friday at 7 p.m. Don’t be late. - Shauna.’

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