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#too much fucking things are hasppening and im very upset

an issue i have a lot isnt like. nobody likes me. its seemingly everyone likes me a little too much in gross ways. and im sick of it.

i feel like no matter how much i wash my hands theyre not gonna get clean

#i hate being traumatized lol.#the bus guy he kept like shaking my hand and then like holding it even after i kept pulling away and being like #'i dont like physical contact from strangers'#but he kept just being like. I love ppl :) i love hugs :) hugs are good :) some people dont like hugs.....#some people are mean....but youre so nice :)#it felt so creepy and bad and he was talking to other teen afab ppl on the bus #and he kept talking about sexual stuff #and i really. really didnt like it #he also kept asking if anyone slept in my room #i felt like i was gonna throw up #but every seat was full i couldnt move #hhhh #also please dont talk to me about this i just needed to make a quick post

im 100% sure everyone gets annoyed at my like 1349390584584968548 messages i send at once i cant shut up double texting who i surpassed that a long time ago!

i hate feeling like this

#i think im just scared but i have no idea how to process it without jealousy #and i hate it.

.

#ive been really scared lately #and i really dont like it #and i feel like #im being too clingy and that im not enjoyable to be around #im really sorry if im not #just. please tell me if im not #i just want to make you the happiest i can #and comfortable and stuff #i really #really love you #both of you

i hope that im good to you

#if im not. or if you dont like me or something or if im being too clingy #please just tell me #i want to make you happy and comfortable <3

sbahj is awful and the content is bad the jokes are bad and hussie is bad but at the same time it holds a special place in my heart and mmm kinda hate that! im having the urge to watch the fanmade movie

#hhhhhhhhhhhhh

im jst. gonna shut up forever

i really want attention from my peers but i really dont want them to think i want their attention i just want it to be given to me but im not cool enough

ive been feeling a lot like i dont belong anywhere again.

#im scared because im moving schools so soon and. itll just be worse then #i just want to feel like i fit in #but at the same time feeling like this makes me want to get farther away from everybody #i dont know.

i wish i could be happy for other people without being jealous

#i really. really want to just be happy fr other ppl #but theres the little part of me thats always like :( which processes into >:/ bc i cant deal #like i do get happy for other but i wish it could be that simple

maybe itll be good for me to get out of the house and see my friends but my stupid ass like wont let me enjoy myself unless things go exactly how i planned. one thing goes off and ill be mad as fuck wether i fucking leave the house (which would be good bc i dont remember friday-sunday at all) or if i stay home and continue fuckin rotting my whole brain

IM DONE WITH MY GRIP ON REALITY BAYBE!!!!!!!! ITS GONE AND I DONT UNDERSTAND MY OWN EMOTIONS ANYMORE!!! ! ! ! ! ! IM NOT DEPRESSED I JUST CANT FUCKIN DEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!

#I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PROCESSING WORKS!!!!!!!!!#I DONT UNDERSTAND AND IF I SAY ANYTHING ITS GONNA NOT ONLY GO AWAY BUT EVERYTHING WILL FALL APART!!!!!!!!#BUT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS REAL AND WHATS IRRATIONAL AND WHATS A PHASE BABYE #I HATE FEELINGS IM DONE WITH EM

I HATE FEELINGS!!!!!!!

no-eyed girl is just me lying awake at 3 am thinking about .... Y’know ;)

#the aliens #i didnt pay attention to the lyrics until just now

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