i usally steer clear from making these posts, because i never want anyone to feel left out or upset that they are not tagged in these. because when i first joined tumblr I also felt this way, and like such a loner. anyways before I get to yapping, i am thankful for everyone on sturnblr, anyone who has ever sent me a message, liked my post, sent something in my inbox, or has ever interacted with me in general or even read my work. i love you, all, you all hold a place in my heart <3 and i am thankful you are all here, and we get to share this amazing community!
@applecidersturniolo - my precious baby shay, i love you more than words can express. i know you're not on tumblr much anymore, but i love talking to you every day. and trust, we will get that mansion girl!! i just sobs i love you so much, i love our friendship, i love sending you voice messages and sending you tiktoks of kevin gates (my idol) LMAOOO
@mi-co-uk - mii, i literally love you to pieces, you are SOO sweet and i love talking to you about your aus and ideas. and brainstorming and omg i just love talking to you, you make me giggle all the time. not ot mention your writing is amazing and so creative i love every single one of them. (and i will be gifting you my firstborn child) đŞą
@sofia-luvs-her-fandoms - i know i already sent you something, but i love you so much. you were one of my first friends on tumblr, and i am forever grateful for our friendship, you made me feel so welcomed when i first joined tumblr and the fandom as a whole, i loved all of our yap sessions so much.
@xmattschainx - BEE omg. i love yapping to you, and dming you on twitter and your posts make me GIGGLE SO BAD. i love you so much, and i am glad we are friends. i also love talking to you about matt, i love having a matt girl i can fangirl with.
@sturncoast - EVIE MY BELOVED <33 i love you dearly and your themes are always so cutie, and i love drawing things for you and you're so nice. sobs i hope we can interact more and become closer!
@oopsiedaisydeer - INEZ SOBS. i know we don't talk much, but i love you and your blog so much. i love all of your writing, all of your aus. they are all my babies, you have such a whimsical soul it brings me joy. your blog is so healing my inner child core i love you for that. (i am literally the president of the inez fan club)
@immaqulate - LEXII, i love you so much! you are the sweetest and my favorite chris girl ever, when i first joined you were so nice and welcoming. and i am glad you started writing, because your ideas are so so creative.
@devotedlyteenagemusic - i love you as much as you love armpits <3 (SORRY) but i literally love that we started talking, and you're so nice and pretty. and i hope we get to talk more and i get to send more silly reels <3
@darksturnz - SOL. I love you and your blog so much. I have your post notifications on. i literally DO NOT PLAY ABOUT YOU!! you are so silly and funny and drop-dead gorgeous, i almost faint whenever you post a picture.
@ariestrxsh - ARIES SOBS OMG. i want to give you the biggest hug in the world, you have been so sweet and caring to me. and i love going in your inbox and you and your blog is so comforting to me. you really helped me when i was going through a hard time, i am sending you all the hugs ever!!
@mattsstarlet - KITTY. I LOVE YOU SO BAD. your blog is amazing, and also idk why i picture you as ariana grande herself. but i love your writing and you're such a precious soul
@slncericidie - MAK... i wanna call you mak and cheese so bad </3 but anyways i know we aren't very close. but you're so nice and i love your blog, and theme BLOWS me away all the time. like you are the most talented ever!!
@tits4matt - SUNSHINE!! my bbq i love you to the moon and back, and i know we don't talk much anymore but i am always here for you and you are the nicest french person i know.
@vanteguccir - lele, my wife. i love you BADD. i love your blog and your writing even though you are mia, but i miss you and i love watching your insta stories. and i just sobs, you are so sweet and the most amazing person!
@courta13 - i love and appreciate you so much! you're so supportive and see all of your interactions, and you're like my biggest supporter ever. i hope we can become closer and talk more :)
@malsmind - i love talking to you, and i am always here for you. i also think we should make you the nations first root beer taste tester! i hope you are doing well queenđ
@shadowthesim237 - honey âšď¸ i miss you dearly. you were my biggest supporter and i love when we talked about everything and anything. i literally think about you everyday sobs
more people i love dearly! @conspiracy-ash @le4hsblog @heartsonlyforchris @phone4pills @pepsipoet @strnilolover @viviansturns @snoopysnote @chris-sturns-16 @chriskissed @chrisslittleangel @mattslilies @matts-lover-girl @vxnitra @hotelstares @notdanixx @echambieee @mattsmirrorpics @chrisssiren @eeyoresturnz @a103-chris-mm @backwardshatnick @whor3ing @eyesonmattyb @nickscoconutwater @delilahsturniolo @gisouwhat @luvs4matt @poloponies
After a few moments, you caught your breath, still feeling him twitch from inside you, your hands moving his hair from his sweaty forehead. âDid you almost call me mommy?â you tease, seeing his eyes snap open and the flustered look on his face. âN-No, why would I say that?â he stutters, nuzzling into your hands like some touched starved puppy. You giggle as his hesitation kisses his pouty lips once more. âYouâre laughinâ at me,â he mumbles into the kiss, feeling your tongue glide against his.
WARNINGS: sub matt x mean dom reader, shy matt, ceo/boss x employee, face sitting, use of good boy, slut, etc. degradation
You sit at the conference table waiting for Matt to arrive. He was late again. This was the third time this week. He was late for a very important meeting. Ever since you gave him employee of the month and the promotion, he had been slacking, and you were pretty sure he was seeing some other girl who worked in the office. Management had hired her, and she was always standing near Mattâs cubicle. It made you so angry, how dare she stand there? More so, you hated how she always pranced around the office in her short skirts, batting her eyelashes at everyone.
You wouldnât care if she was flirting with any other of your employees, but Matt, of all people. He was yours, and you wouldnât let some puppy dog-eyed bitch steal him from you. After a dreadful long moment of sitting with the other employees and the higher-ups. Matt stunts inside the meeting room, your eyes glued to him, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. And to your dismay, who is walking right in behind him, the only new hire? Are you fucking serious? You wanted to pounce on that bitch and bite her head off, but you let out a deep breath and stayed calm, pulling out your chair and nodding for Matt to come and sit by you.
Which he usually did, considering he would always get a hand job under the table when the meeting got too boring. Matt, however, had his eyes glued on her and followed her around like some lovesick puppy sitting next to her on the other side of the table. Your jaw clenched watching him and her whisper to each other and giggle. Having had enough, you abruptly stood from your chair to finally begin the meeting. âHello, everyone. Iâm glad youâre all here, even though some people do not know how to keep track of time,â you said, glaring at Matt and the girl who both paid no attention to you.
The meeting went on as you tried to keep your composure and pitch your idea for better management and whatever else you had in mind. Matt and the girl whose name you couldnât remember for the life of you continued whispering to each other. You could tell her hand was inching towards his thigh.
âMatthew!,â you shout, causing him to jolt from his chair, his face flushed as he met your stern gaze. âDo you have the notes I faxed over to you?â you questioned, watching as he fumbled through his clipboard. His eyes widened as he flipped through the pages, breath hitching. âWhatâs the matter?â you question, walking over and snatching the clipboard from him, flipping through the various pages of pictures he had secretly taken of you. You had no idea when he took these, maybe when he would sit under your desk? You hand him back the clipboard, chuckling as you watch the new hire scoff, cross her arms, and sulk in her chair.
âUm...It must be my personal clipboard insteadâŚâ he trialed off biting his lip nervously. You slammed the clipboard down on the table in anger causing him to gulp his hands squirming to take it before anyone else saw what was inside. âDo you think this is some kind of joke?â you leaned down whispering into his ear your hand coming up to tug on his earlobe. âN-No, I-â you yanked him again causing him to whine.Â
The meeting dragged on as you had to improvise. âMatt, will you meet me in the office?â you ask tugging his sleeve and stopping him from walking out. His face is still flushed, nodding feverishly at you as he makes his way out of the conference room. You pull him inside your office, pushing him against the door and grabbing a handful of his tie. âWhat was that?â your voice laced with dominance as you watched him squirm under your touch.
âI-I donât know what youâre talking about,â he replies stumbling over his words. You yank his tie, pulling his face closer to yours, eyes scanning his features. âDonât play dumb, why are you hanging out with some cheap slut?â his clammy hands raise in surrender his eyes panicking as they search your face. âYouâre so dumb baby, what did you want my attention?â you whisper into his ear, a shiver running down his spine.Â
Matt povÂ
Yes. She had been ignoring me all week, too busy with her important duties. I would stop by her office every morning after grabbing her coffee, making sure it had exactly three sugars and one pump of cream. She never even thanked me, or looked up from her computer, always typing away. I always knew how she liked her coffee, and how no one else in the whole office would ever get her order right. âYouâve been ignoring meâŚâ I admit my voice coming out softer than I intended.
She pulls back her features, softening for a split second before her gaze turns dark. âSo you think you can flirt with someone to get my attention?â she asks, tugging my tie once more, this time harder. Itâs not like I was interested in the new hire, I didnât even know her name, and she always smelled like cigarettes, I just wanted her to look at me.Â
Reader povÂ
âYou think acting like a slut will get you anywhere?â You ask, tugging Mattâs hair as you sit on his face. His body sprawled over your desk, things scattered on the floor as your hips glided along him.
âFuck, you couldâve just askedâŚâ You trail off, moving your hips faster. His tongue plunged in and out of you as you practically rode his face. âMm, such a pathetic boy.â you coo at him, your thighs clamping around his face. His hands roamed your body kneading your breasts as you continued trying to reach your release.â I said no touching!â you exclaim swatting his hands away.
 Loud moans and the sound of your desk scraping against the floor echoed through your office, along with Mattâs muffled whines. His lips closed over your clit as he sucked hard throwing you over the edge, feeling your release approach. âFuck, such a naughty boy. Making me comeâ you panted as your release filled his mouth, making him gag and causing his eyes to water.Â
âIâm sorry,â you whispered as he sat on your desk and you stood between his legs, your thumb stroking his cheek. âIâm sorry too,â he whispered, hands moving to your waist.
âYouâre such a good boy for me, Iâm just not used to affection, is allâ you whisper kissing his pouty lips. âCome here baby,â you coo pulling him into a hug. âDonât pull that shit again, got it?â you say pulling back and fixing his tie. He smiles at you his cheeks still red as he quickly presses a kiss to your lips, pulling away and meeting your gaze.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24
Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chrisâs clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?
Warnings: This is a long read of 10k words, and is also a flashback part. Angst, tension, feeling of betrayal, mentions of loss of appetite, arguments, mentions of being too drunk to function, mentions of vomitting
Matts POV:
Iâm so happy with life right now. Everything feels easy, like weâre in all this perfect bubble where nothing can go wrong. Weâre in Hawaii, in a club where the music is great, the drinks are flowing, and everyone around me seems to be having a good time.
Y/n is next to me, and it makes me smile to know we share the same feelings for each other. Itâs nice having her here. Nick is sat next to some guy heâs interested in, leaning in close as they talk. Across from me, are Chris and Nate, but Chris seems to be consumed by his phone.
Then, he gets up. I notice it immediately, so does Y/n. Her attention flicks to him as he slides out of the booth. "Where are you going?" she asks, tilting her head slightly.
Chris just smirks at her, and keeps walking. He doesnât answer, doesnât even look back. I try to brush it off, but something twists in my stomach.
I turn my focus elsewhere and see Nick and the guy heâs been crushing on disappear toward the bar, the energy between them obvious. Y/n turns to me with an amused smile, eyes glimmering clearly happy for him.
âHeâs so into Nickâ she says, shaking her head slightly.
I chuckle, already knowing Nick is the type to downplay his own feelings. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, I pull her in a little closer, not even thinking about it. It just feels natural. âYeah, but do you think Nickâs into him?â
She glances toward the bar where theyâre standing, already deep in conversation. Nick laughs at something the guy says, leaning in just a little more. Y/n smirks.
âOh, 100%.â
Nate, whoâs been quietly pouring drinks, chimes in, âI hope this goes well for him.â He hands us each a drink, his expression softer than usual.
âSo do Iâ Y/n murmurs, lifting her glass to her lips.
I donât know if itâs the alcohol or the moment itself, but everything suddenly feels easy. Like weâre right where weâre supposed to be. My arm is still draped along the back of the booth, fingers grazing the bare skin of Y/nâs shoulder. Her knee knocks lightly against mine under the table, neither of us making a move to pull away.
Itâs subtle, but itâs there, the way weâre naturally drawn to each other, like two magnets.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see Chris return.
But heâs not alone.Â
Two familiar figures trail behind him.
Rachel and Christina.
My stomach tightens, the shift in the air instant.
Is he seriously after bringing them out here?
I donât even realize my jaw has clenched until Y/n shifts beside me. Chris, oblivious or maybe just entertained by the sudden tension, smirks as he speaks.
âFigured Iâd fly them out. Thought youâd wanna catch up, Matt.â
I finally find speak up, keeping it light but firm. âDidnât think I had anything left to catch up on.â
Christinaâs lips twitch, like she was expecting that response. âNo? Couldâve fooled me.â
I donât know why heâs saying this. Especially in front of Y/n.
I glance at her, trying to gauge her reaction, but her expression is unreadable. Nate must sense the shift too, because he suddenly stands at the same time as her.
âIâm getting a drinkâ Y/n announces.
I donât want her to walk away like this, not when I know how this looks, and quite frankly I don't want to be left here with them either. âWant me to come with you?â I offer.
She shakes her head. âIâm good.â
I watch as she and Nate disappear toward the bar, my attention lingering for a second longer than I mean for it to. Then I turn back to Chris, exhaling sharply.
âCan I speak to you for a minute?â
We step away from the booth, moving toward the quieter corner of the club where the music isnât pounding as hard. I turn to Chris the second we stop, my voice firm.
âWhy did you bring them out here?â
Chris raises an eyebrow like he doesnât get why Iâm pissed. âI like Rachelâ he shrugs. âWanted her to be here.â
I exhale sharply, already annoyed at how casual heâs being about it. âAnd Christina?â
He tilts his head. âDidnât think itâd be a big deal. I know you have history, but-â
âYeah, history.â I cut him off. âI have something going on with Y/n.â
Chrisâs expression shifts, like itâs only clicking now. He lets out a short laugh, shaking his head. âOh I noticed you guys were being real nice to each other today, but I never put two and two together.â He gives me a look. âWhere the hell have I been to miss all this?â
I scoff. âEither gone to sleep early, left a night out too soon cause you got a FaceTime call, or too busy in your damn phone to even realize weâve been good this whole trip.â
Chris blinks, absorbing what Iâm saying. âShit..â he mutters, rubbing his jaw. âGuess I really have been out of it.â
âYeah, no shit.â I shake my head, still irritated. âBringing Christina here just stirred up unnecessary shit, man.â
Chris sighs, but he doesnât argue. Instead, he just glances back toward the booth, like heâs only now seeing the full impact of his decision.
I run a hand through my hair, letting out a big sigh. âYou know how full on Christina can beâ I say, shaking my head. âAnd yeah, Y/n knows there was stuff between us before, but I donât want it to be a thing where she feels awkward about it. I donât want her thinking she has to deal with that shit.â
Chris watches me for a second before nodding. âI get it..â he says, sounding genuine. âI didnât mean to throw a spanner in the works.. Sorry man.â
I nod, appreciating that heâs at least acknowledging it. But then he smirks, tilting his head at me. âDamn, though..â he says. âYou must really like her because Iâve never seen you act like this before.â
I pause for a second, glancing down before looking back at him. âYeah..â I admit.Â
âI think Iâm in love with her.â
Chris raises his brows, looking surprised for all of two seconds before his expression shifts into something smug. But before he can say anything, we both glance back toward the booth just in time to see Y/n and Nate slipping out of the club together.
Chris lets out a low whistle. âWell..â he chuckles. âMake sure you drop that L bomb before Nate tries to steal your girl.â
Heâs clearly joking, but something about it gets to me. My jaw tightens as I watch them leave, an uneasy feeling settling in my chest. It brought me back to that feeling when I thought they had a thing together. I know how Nate can be. But I trust him. More importantly, I trust her.
But still, I donât like it.
I donât even know if theyâre gone for the night or if they just stepped out for some air, but I canât shake the uneasy feeling settling in my chest. Chris claps me on the back, like he can sense Iâm overthinking, and nods toward the booth. âCâmon, manâ he says. âLetâs just try enjoy ourselves.â
I follow him, trying to not let this whole ordeal spoil the night. But as soon as we return, itâs clear things have escalated. Rachel and Christina have already taken down over half the bottle of vodka between them. Christina, in particular, looks completely wasted, her eyes glassy and unfocused, her laugh loud enough to cut through the music.
Chris raises a brow, eyeing the nearly empty bottle. âAre you guys seriously just taking straight shots of raw vodka?â
Rachel shrugs, laughing as she clinks her glass against Christinaâs. âOf course!â she says, like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. âWeâre celebrating.â
Chris laughs, shaking his head, while I slide back into my seat, trying not to let my irritation show.
Thatâs when Christina turns to me, scooting closer than she was before. Her hand finds my knee, her nails lightly dragging against the fabric of my jeans. âMattttttâ she purrs, tilting her head, lips curved into a smirk. âYouâve been so quiet tonight.â
I shift slightly, putting some space between us. âJust trying to enjoy the nightâ I say, keeping my voice even.
She doesnât take the hint. Instead, she leans in, close enough that I can smell the vodka on her breath. âYou remember the last time we partied together?â she slurs, her voice dropping. âWe had so much fun, didnât we?â
I clench my jaw, glancing at Chris, who looks like heâs biting back a laugh.
âChristinaâ I say, keeping my tone neutral but stern. âThat was a long time agoâ
She pouts, trailing her fingers up my arm. âSoooo?â she teases. âWe can still have fun.â
I exhale sharply, shaking my head. âNot interested.â
But Christina is relentless, pushing even further. And the longer this goes on, the more pissed off I get, not just at her, but at Chris for bringing them here, at myself for even being in this situation, and mostly at the fact that Y/n isnât here.
Christina pushes herself even closer, her thigh pressing against mine as she twirls a strand of her hair around her finger. Her eyes flick up to mine, dark with mischief, and she gives me a slow, flirty smile.
âNot interested?â she echoes, tilting her head. âThatâs funny, Matt. You used to be very interested.â
I exhale through my nose, forcing a smirk as I lean back slightly. âYeah key words are âused to beâ.â
She doesnât let up, laughing as she lightly drags a finger along my forearm. âCâmon, donât be like that!â she says playfully. âWe always had a good time together, didnât we?â
Sheâs laying it on thick now, and itâs starting to get under my skin, not because Iâm tempted, but because she doesnât know when to stop. Itâs like if she keeps going, she thinks Iâll fall for it.
I glance at Chris, whoâs watching with mild amusement, clearly entertained by how uncomfortable I am. I shoot him a look, but he just shrugs, leaving me to deal with it.
Christina leans in even closer, her lips near my ear now. âIt doesnât have to be seriousâ she murmurs. âJust like old times.â
I let out a short laugh, finally pulling back enough to put proper distance between us. âYeah, not happening.â
She pouts, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger. âWhatâs the matter? Afraid your little girlfriend wouldnât like it?â
That makes my jaw tighten. I donât say anything at first, because I know if I do, it wonât come out as smooth as I want it to.
Christina notices the shift, though. She smirks, swirling the vodka in her glass. âOhhhhhhâ she coos. âSo thatâs what this is. Youâve actually caught feelings?â
âYeah I donât play games anymoreâ I tell her simply. âEspecially not yours.â
Chris tries not to look awkward, before Rachel turns to him to say something.Â
Chris stands up, âWeâre going to head to the villaâ he says nodding to Rachel. âNick is still here somewhere though.âÂ
Is he serious?
What the fuck am I meant to do?Â
Christinaâs barely coherent at this point, her head lolling slightly as she stares at her half empty glass.Â
âAlright, broâ Chris taps me on the shoulder before turning to Christina. âLet me know when you find him.â
With that, he and Rachel disappear into the crowd, leaving me alone with Christina, whoâs barely able to sit upright.
I sigh. How the fuck am I meant to find Nick through the amount of people here. I donât even know for a fact that he is still here. Maybe I should just drop Christina back to wherever she's staying, and Iâll go back to the villa too.Â
I run a hand down my face before gently nudging her. âAlright, come on, Christina. Time to go.â
She groans in protest. âNooo, not yet!â
âYeah, definitely yet.â I stand up, but she doesnât move, just blinks up at me, unfocused.
I sigh again, offering her a hand. âLetâs go, Iâll get you home.â
Thatâs when the problem becomes clear. She looks at me, confused, brows furrowing.
âWhere.. where am I staying again?â she slurs.
I close my eyes briefly, exhaling through my nose. âYou donât know?â
She shakes her head, then wobbles as she tries to stand. I catch her before she faceplants.
âGreat.â I mutter. âJust great.â
I pull my phone out, scrolling through my contacts. Trying to call Chris. But he isnât answering.
I glance back down at Christina, whoâs resting her head against my chest now, fully out of it.Â
I have no choice. I need to figure out where the hell sheâs staying before she passes out completely.
I try my best to get her outside. Fresh air will do her the world of good.
When we step out, the air doesnât do what I hoped, it only makes things worse. Christina stumbles forward, swaying like sheâs about to fall, and before I can react, she bends over and throws up all over the pavement.
âShit.â I mutter, rubbing a hand down my face.
I kneel down beside her, keeping a firm hand on her back as she coughs and gags, her body trembling from how drunk she is. People pass by, glancing but not stopping, and I realize thereâs no way I can just leave her like this.
I pull my phone out again, trying Chris one more time. Still nothing.Â
âGreatâ I exhale, glancing down at Christina. Sheâs barely keeping herself upright now.
I have no other choice. She needs to get home, or somewhere safe, before she passes out completely.
âAlrightâ I say, steadying her as she sways. âLetâs get you out of here.â
She mutters something I canât even understand, too far gone to be aware of anything.
I wave down a taxi, carefully helping her inside, making sure she doesnât slump over completely. I give the driver the address to the villa, keeping a steadying hand on Christina the whole way as she leans against me, practically deadweight at this point.
When we pull up, I shift her slightly, trying to move her enough to get her up.
âCome on, Christina. Up.â
She groans, barely responsive, but I manage to get her out of the car, slinging one of her arms over my shoulder as I guide her toward the villa.
The real challenge comes when we hit the stairs. She stumbles, nearly taking us both down, but I tighten my grip, keeping her steady.
âJesus, Christinaâ I mutter, adjusting my hold. âYouâre a nightmare right now.â
She doesnât even respond, just lets me guide her up, one slow, painful step at a time.
I just need to get her inside, let her sleep it off, and then she can leave in the morning.Â
Simple.Â
I push open the door to my room, guiding Christina inside. Sheâs still wobbly, but the more time that passes, the more she seems to sober up, at least enough to move on her own.
âYou can stay in my bedâ I say, figuring she just needs to sleep this off. And the less people that know she's here, the better.
She doesnât argue, just makes her way over and flops down onto the mattress with a heavy sigh. I turn around, heading downstairs to grab her a bottle of water. I need a second to breathe, to process all of this. This is not how I expected my night to go.
When I come back, I set the bottle on the nightstand beside her. âDrink thatâ I say, but she barely moves.
Then, her voice comes, softer than before. âYou getting in?â
I freeze, turning to look at her. Sheâs watching me with this lazy, expectant gaze, like she fully expects me to slide in beside her.
I shake my head immediately. âAbsolutely not.â
She pouts slightly, but I donât care. âWhen Rachel or Chris finally tells you where youâre staying, you can leave. Until then, just sleep.â
There was absolutely no way I was sharing a bed with her. Y/n hasnât even stayed in this bed with me.
At that thought, something twists in my chest. Is she even here? I have no idea what time she got back, if she got back.
The idea of her still being out with Nate, of her spending the night somewhere else, makes my stomach knot.
I glance back at Christina, already half asleep on my bed, before quietly slipping out of the room.Â
I need to check.
I make my way down the hall to Y/nâs room, hesitating for a moment before quietly pushing the door open. The moonlight filters in through the window just enough for me to see her, curled up under the blankets, sound asleep.
Relief washes over me. Sheâs here. Sheâs safe.
I exhale, tension I didnât even realize I was holding slipping from my shoulders. But that relief is short lived because now I have another problem.Â
Where the fuck am I going to sleep?
Christinaâs passed out in my bed. Thereâs no way Iâm getting in beside her. Y/nâs room is obviously not an option, and Iâm sure as hell not waking anyone else up for a spare bed.
Which leaves me with one choice.
The couch.
With a sigh, I turn and make my way downstairs, grabbing a throw blanket on the way before collapsing onto the couch. The cushions are firm, and thereâs a weird draft from the AC, but I donât care. My mind is still spinning, replaying the nightâs events. Christina appearing, her being too drunk to even know where she was staying, Chris disappearing with Rachel, Y/n leaving with Nate.
This is definitely not how I thought tonight would go.
A few hours later, Iâm woken up by the sound of a car pulling up outside the villa, followed by the distant sound of doors opening and closing.
I rub the sleep from my eyes, my brain still catching up to reality.Â
Who the fuck is that?
I donât really care to find out, not when Iâm lying on the couch like some lost dog. The last thing I need is someone questioning me about why I didnât sleep in my own bed. Iâm not about to start explaining that Christina is in there. Thatâs a conversation Iâd rather avoid entirely.
As I sit up, the lingering stench of last night - vomit, alcohol and sweat hits me all at once, making my stomach turn. Yeah, I definitely need a shower.
I get up and head upstairs, quietly pushing open my bedroom door. Christina is still knocked out, completely dead to the world.
Good.
Without sparing her another glance, I grab some fresh clothes and step into the ensuite, turning on the shower.Â
Once I finish, I step out, running the towel through my hair roughly. I notice I never brought a t-shirt in with me so I put my sweat pants on and leave the bathroom to go get one.
As I walk into the bedroom, I feel a bigger presence around me. I stop in my tracks, practically freezing as I look up.
Thatâs when my eyes lock onto Y/nâs. Then Nickâs.
Theyâre both standing in my doorway, completely still, eyes glued on the bed, on Christina lying there, still passed out from last night.
The air shifts, thick with unspoken words. My stomach drops.
Y/nâs face is unreadable at first, like sheâs trying to process what sheâs looking at. But then, slowly, I see it, the disappointment, the hurt.
Nick speaks up first, he could never stay silent for that long.
âAre you fucking kidding me?!â
His voice cuts through the room, sharp and furious. My mouth parts slightly, ready to explain, but he doesnât give me the chance.
âSeriously?â he seethes, stepping forward, his whole body tense with betrayal. Anger. âYou fucking lied to me. To her.â He jerks his arm toward Y/n, but she doesnât move. Doesnât even look at me.
I try to speak, to get anything out.
But Nick doesnât let up.
âI donât wanna hear it!â His voice rises, filled with something deeper than just rage, more like disappointment. âI donât wanna hear a single fucking word come out of your mouth right now.â
My jaw tightens. I clench my fists at my sides, but I donât say a word. Not because I have nothing to say, because I know heâs not going to listen.
Nick scoffs, shaking his head like he doesnât even recognize me anymore. âYou had one thing to prove, Matt. One. That you meant it this time.â His eyes darken. âAnd you couldnât even do that.â
Y/n hasnât moved. Hasnât said anything.
Then, slowly, she turns. Walks out of the room.
I want to go after her, but Iâll have to get through Nick first.
And judging by the way heâs looking at me, heâs not gonna make that easy.
His eyes are burning, jaw clenched so hard I think it might snap. âYouâre a fucking joke, Matt.â
I barely get a breath in before he lays into me. Reads me for absolute filth.
Every word hits. Every single fucking one. Because I canât even argue with him.
The last thing I need right now is Christina waking up and chiming in, so I shove Nick backward, out of my room and into the hall.
âAre you serious?â He shoves me right back. âWhat, I might wake your precious Christina?â
Before I can answer, a door swings open. Chris steps out, rubbing his face like heâs just woken up.
âJesus Christâ he grumbles, then glances between me and Nick before dropping another bomb. âCan you two shut the fuck up? Rachelâs asleep in my room.â
Nick goes feral at him for also having a girl in his room.
âI want them out. Within the next two hours..â His voice is sharp, cutting through any argument I could have made. â I donât give a fuck what needs to be done. I want them goneâ
Chris' expression hardens. "That's unfair."
Nick scoffs beside me, not backing down. "Unfair?" He lets out a sharp laugh, shaking his head. "You wanna talk about unfair?"
I shift uncomfortably, knowing what's coming.
"Y/n spent this whole trip thinking her and Matt were finally on the same fucking page" Nick continues, voice cutting through the thick tension. "And now she walks in to find Christina, of all fucking people, in his bed? And you wanna stand there and act like Iâm being unfair?"
Chris' eyes flick to me, his brows pulling together. I can feel the heat of both of them staring at me.
Chrisâ confusion only grows when I donât answer. His expression shifts from frustration to disbelief.
"Wait, what?" His gaze locks onto mine. "She's in your bed?"
I still donât say a word.
Because no matter how I try to explain it, it looks bad.
Chris exhales sharply, shaking his head, like heâs trying to make sense of just how fucking stupid this situation is.
"Jesus Christ, man."
Nick shakes his head one last time before turning on his heel and walking toward Y/nâs room. Chris exhales through his nose, glancing at me once before disappearing into his own.
And I just stand there.
The hallway feels suffocatingly still, but my head is spinning with everything that just happened.
The way Nick looked at me, like I was a fucking disappointment. The way Chris shook his head, like even he couldnât defend me this time.
But most of all, I canât get Y/nâs face out of my head.
The way her eyes flickered between me and the bed. The way she barely reacted, like she was too stunned to even get angry. Like something in her just shut off.
Was I wrong for giving Christina my bed?
I know how this looks. And what Y/n is probably thinking. I could tell by how hurt she looked.
Maybe I should give her space. Maybe itâs too late to fix this right now.
But before anything else, Christina needs to get out of this house.
I push open my door, and Christina is awake now, looking like absolute shit. Smudged makeup, hair a mess, sheâs clearly feeling the aftermath of last night.
But I donât care about that.
I take one look at her, at the bed, and I get it now. I get exactly what this must have looked like when Y/n walked in.
Fuck.
I breathe out through my nose, trying to keep my voice even. âYou need to leave soonâ I tell her. âChris is telling Rachel too.â
Christina stretches, completely unbothered. Then she looks at me, eyes gleaming with something smug. âDid I stir up a problem?â she asks, almost like itâs an achievement, like that was exactly what she wanted.
My jaw tightens. âJust get your shit togetherâ I mutter, turning toward my closet. I canât look at her right now.
I need her out. Now.
Christina sits up, running a hand through her tangled hair. She tilts her head at me, a slow smirk playing on her lips. âYou know, Mattâ she drawls, âitâs not like we havenât shared a bed before.â
I donât even let her finish before I turn to her, voice flat. âNot happening.â
She pouts, clearly amused. âRelax, I was just messing with you.â
I level her with a look. âIâm not.â
The smirk slips from her face just slightly, but she still plays it off. âFine, fineâ she sighs, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. âNo need to be so serious.â
I donât answer. I just grab a fresh shirt and pull it over my head, already done with this conversation.
She stands, smoothing out her dress. âWell, thanks for the looking after me.â she teases, but I donât respond.
Because I know exactly what sheâs trying to do. And itâs not going to work.
I watch as Christina pulls herself together. I can still hear Nickâs voice echoing in my head, still see the way Y/n looked at me, like I completely shattered something between us.
A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts.
Rachel peeks in, her tone unreadable. âChris is outside if you wanna say bye.â
Christina nods, grabbing her bag. She glances at me one last time, her lips twitching like she has something to say. But for once, she keeps it to herself and walks out.
The second the door shuts behind her, I exhale, sinking onto the bed. Finally.
But now Iâm alone with nothing but my thoughts.
I run a hand over my face, my mind racing. I know how this looks. But thereâs nothing else I can do besides tell the truth and hope someone, hope Y/n, believes me.
Because if she doesnât.. I donât even know where to begin fixing this.
I stay in bed the entire day, staring at the ceiling, replaying everything over and over again. The shock of possibly losing Y/n keeps me glued here, makes it impossible to move, impossible to even try to fix this.
But as the hours pass, the weight in my chest grows heavier. I have to do something.
Dragging myself out of bed, I finally make my way downstairs. As I turn the corner, I collide into someone.
Y/n.
My breath catches, and I try to meet her eyes, try to say something, anything. But she moves past me without a word, disappearing into her room before I can even get a syllable out.
I barely take a step before I see Nick standing on the stairs, arms crossed, watching me like he already knows exactly what just happened.
âYou talk to her yet?â he asks.
I shake my head. âNo. She wonât even look at me.â
Nick exhales sharply, his expression unreadable. âThen give her space.â he says, voice firm. âJust.. leave her alone.â
I watch as he follows after her, disappearing into her room, leaving me standing alone in the hallway with nothing but regret and the impact of this all slowly starting to hit me harder.
I push down the frustration inside me and continue downstairs, making my way toward the kitchen. Nate and Chris walk in from the patio, their conversation cutting off the second they see me.
Chris raises an eyebrow. âYou good?â
Nate glances between us before adding, âYeah man, whatâs going on?â
I shake my head, exhaling. âI donât wanna talk about it right now.â The only one I want to talk to about this right now is Y/n.
Nate lets out a long yawn, stretching his arms over his head. âFair enough. Iâm heading to bed. Night guys.â he mutters before making his way upstairs, leaving just me and Chris.
Chris lingers for a moment before saying, âIâm gonna meet Rachel for dinner.â
I nod. âEnjoy yourself.â
He gives me a look like he wants to say something, maybe even ask again, but instead, he just nods back and heads out, leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts.
I make myself a cup of tea, because itâs the only thing that seems comforting right now and head back up to my room. Maybe everyone needs space right now. Sleep was few and far between last night. It felt like the early AM when I finally fell asleep, and Iâm woken up to the sound of a car pulling up outside the villa yet again.
I check my phone and see itâs past midday. Shit, I should get up.
I plan on making things right today.
I get up and walk downstairs, and as I do, Chris walks through the front door. I glance at him, taking in his wrinkled shirt and the fact that heâs only now coming home.
I raise an eyebrow. âYou only getting back now?â
He kicks off his shoes and nods. âYeah. Stayed with Rachel.â
I nod, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. âMustâve been a good night, then.â
Chris shrugs, stretching his arms. âYeah, man. Better than whatever the fuck you had going on yesterday.â
I donât respond. I know what heâs implying, and I donât blame him.
Instead, I walk past him toward the kitchen, hoping a coffee might clear my head. Chris follows, leaning against the counter.
"Where is everyone? I'm absolutely starving" Chris says, glancing around.
We both head toward the patio after spotting movement outside. As we step through the doors, I see Y/n stretched out on a lounger, Nick and Nate sitting beside her. She doesnât even look at me. Not once.
Chris, completely ignoring any tension, asks if anyone wants food. The only one to respond is Nate.
âAlright, man. Letâs go.â
I linger for a second, my eyes still on Y/n. She hasnât looked at me once.Â
Chris nudges me. âYou coming or what?â
I nod, tearing my gaze away and following him back inside.
In the kitchen, Chris pulls open the fridge. âWhat do you think? Burgers? Sandwiches?â
âWhateverâs easiest.â Nate replies.
Chris laughs. "Man, I was that hungry when I woke up this morning, I already booked us a restaurant for dinner.
I donât even react. I canât. My appetite is nonexistent, knowing Y/n wonât even acknowledge me. I retreat back to my room, sitting in silence, replaying everything over and over in my head.
I need to fix this.
I hope she comes to dinner, so maybe after, Iâll get the chance to sort this out.
I spent the rest of the day in a depression nap, waking up in the early evening. I get ready for the night quickly, not paying much attention to anything.Â
As I make my way down to the foyer, my stomach twists. Iâm nervous, on edge. Chris and Nate are already there, caught up in conversation, but I barely register their voices. My focus is elsewhere. A few minutes later, footsteps echo from the staircase.
Nick and Y/n.
I look up immediately, hoping, maybe even desperate, to catch her eye.
She looks incredible.
But glimpses at me before immediately looking away. It kills me that she thinks Iâd ever do something like that to hurt her. I just want this dinner over with so I can finally talk to her.
We leave the villa and start walking toward the restaurant. I fall in step with Nate, neither of us saying much. Chris lingers back a bit, while Y/n sticks close to Nick.
Eventually, Chris catches up to us, and we all walk inside together. âWhat the fuck?â I hear Nate say.
And thatâs when I see it.
Rachel and Christina, sitting at a table like theyâve been waiting for us. Five empty seats next to them, perfectly arranged.
What the fuck are they doing here?
Chris stops dead beside me. âI swear to god I didnât invite them.â
 Nate mutters quietly under his breath. âWell how are they here then..â
âI was with Christina this morning when I made the reservation.. And now theyâre just.. Here?â Chris says, nearly in shock.
I donât even need to look to know Nick has just seen them too. And Y/n..
Fuck.
This was supposed to be a chance to fix things. To get even a second alone with her. But now? Now, itâs about to get a whole lot worse.
We walk toward the table, and I feel my stomach tighten the closer we get. This was the last thing I expected tonight. The last thing I needed.
Y/n doesnât look at me. She moves straight past, taking a seat at the bottom of the table next to Nick and Nate, as if putting as much distance between us as possible. Chris sits beside Rachel without a second thought, leaving only two empty seats.
One of them is next to Christina.
I hesitate, my feet refusing to move. For a second, I think about pulling up a different chair, about doing anything but sitting there. But thereâs no other choice. Not unless I want to make a scene.
So I sit beside her.
She shifts slightly, angling herself toward me, like sheâs waiting for me to acknowledge her. Like sheâs enjoying this.
I donât look at her.
I keep my gaze locked on the table in front of me, my jaw tight. The tension is suffocating. I glance across, my eyes instinctively searching for Y/n. Sheâs staring at the menu, but I know sheâs not reading it. Her hands are too still, her posture too rigid.
I hate this. I hate all of this.
And the worst part?
I donât even know how to fix it.
Nobody speaks at first. The only sounds are the shuffle of menus being picked up, the quiet clinking of silverware as the waiters move around us, but no real conversation. Itâs awkward. Forced. I never thought at the start of this trip Iâd be sitting diagonally across from Y/n, with Christina beside me, acting like she belongs here.
I donât bother looking at the menu. My appetite, which was already hanging by a thread, is completely gone now. Iâm pretending I donât notice the way Christina keeps angling toward me, her body language screaming for my attention. The way she leans in, the way her fingers casually graze my forearm, like itâs natural for her.
âOh my god, Matt, you look so good tonight!â she purrs, tilting her head as she studies me. âDid you do something different? Your hair? A new cologne?â
I donât flinch. I barely react. My jaw clenches, and I offer her the quickest, most dismissive response possible. âUh, no. Same as always.â
I actually pick up the menu now, hoping it makes me look occupied, hoping thatâs the end of it.
Itâs not.
She sighs dramatically. âGod, I canât believe weâre all in Hawaii together. It feels like such a movie moment, donât you think?â She flicks her gaze up at me through her lashes. âLike, if this was a movie, weâd be the main characters.â
I huff a quiet laugh through my nose, shaking my head. âYeah, I donât know about that. Donât really take myself as the main character type of guy.â My tone is light, detached. Iâm keeping it neutral.
She leans in closer. âYou know, I had so much fun the other night.â Her voice drops, just loud enough for Y/n to hear.
Iâm not too sure how âfunâ getting violently sick in the street is.
And I feel it instantly. The shift at the table. Like everyone thinks they know what happened. Y/n doesnât react, doesnât even look up, but I know she heard it.
I grip the edge of the menu a little tighter, inhaling through my nose, trying to ignore the overwhelming urge to get up and walk out.
Chris, whoâs been quiet this whole time, suddenly clears his throat. âChristina, didnât you say this was your first time in Hawaii?â
Itâs a deliberate distraction, and I donât know if heâs doing it to get her off my back or because he knows exactly what Y/n is feeling right now, but Iâm thankful for it.
Christina finally turns to look at him. âOh, yeah, it isâ she says, waving a hand dismissively.
I donât say anything else until the waiter comes to take my order, just wanting this dinner to finish asap.
The food arrives shortly after, and I focus on my plate, keeping my eyes down, keeping my composure. If I just get through dinner, Iâll be fine.
But of course Christina doesnât make it easy.
She just doesnât stop. Her voice carries just loud enough to make sure everyone, especially Y/n, hears every forced laugh, every flirtatious remark. Itâs so obvious.
âOh my god, Matt, youâre so funny!â she laughs.
I havenât even said anything remotely funny.
âWe should totally do something after this!â Christina continues, tilting her head in that exaggerated way. âMaybe check out that tiki bar? It would be so fun.â
I donât commit. âMaybe.â
Itâs automatic, a way to keep things neutral, to avoid engaging too much.
But the second the word leaves my mouth, I can see it all over Y/nâs face. She doesnât look up, but I know her well enough to know that one word just made everything worse.
âMaybe.â
It wasnât a no. And I shouldâve said no.
As everyone starts throwing out ideas about where to go next, I keep my mouth shut, just wanting the ground to swallow me up. I donât care about tiki bars or whatever plans are being made, I just want this dinner to be over.
Y/n stays quiet too. But I see it, the slight change in her posture, the way sheâs disengaged from the conversation.
Then, she leans toward Nick, her voice low. âIâm heading back.â
Nick walks her out, and I know I need to go after her.
I donât think, I just act.
Pushing my chair back, I mumble a quick excuse, not even sure if anyone hears me. My focus is locked on the restaurant doors, on the way she just walked out.
I make it outside just in time to see her getting into a taxi.
Fuck.
My pulse starts to quicken as I pick up my pace, brushing past Nick without a word. He calls my name, but I donât stop.
Without hesitating, I flag down the next taxi, practically throwing myself into the backseat.
I lean back against the seat, exhaling sharply.
I donât know what Iâm going to say when I get there.
I just know I canât let her walk away.
I pull up to the villa and close the taxi door behind me. Y/n is making her way to the front door, her pace quick, heels clicking against the pavement. She doesnât even glance back.
I follow her, my steps slower, hesitant. I can hear the jingle of her keys as she pulls them from her bag, unlocking the front door
âWait.âMy voice cuts through the night, and she stops, her shoulders stiffening. When she turns to face me, thereâs something in her expression that makes me feel sick.
Her eyes search mine, like sheâs trying to figure out what the hell I could possibly have to say.
âCan we talk?â I ask, my voice lower now, almost careful.
She exhales sharply, shaking her head. âTalk about what, Matt?â
I donât have an answer for that right away. Not one that would magically make this any better, at least.
She lets out a humorless laugh. âIâve seen it all. I saw Christina in your bed. I saw how she was with you tonight.â
I open my mouth to respond, but she doesnât let me.
âAnd now, what?â she snaps, frustration creeping into her voice. âYou think you can stand here and make some sorry excuse for your actions? Do you even realize how disrespectful that is? You canât just act like nothing happened, Matt. You donât get to do that.â
God the last thing I want to do is disrespect her. I never wanted to hurt her.
Hearing that breaks my heart. âI never wanted to hurt you.â
She laughs again, but thereâs no humor in it. Just bitterness.
âWell, itâs a bit too late for that now, isnât it?â
âIâm sorryâ I mutter, knowing it isnât enough.
I am sorry. And I need her to know it.
Her eyes flicker with something, anger, disappointment, maybe both. âYeah. So am I.â
I stare at her, feeling like Iâm losing something I never even had a real hold on.
âIâm sorry I let you play with me for so long. Sorry I let you in, that I actually believed there was something real between us. But itâs clear now, isnât it? Whatever tension was there, it was only ever sexual for you.â
I take a step forward, the feelings I have for her are much deeper than that. I instinctively reach for her, but she doesnât back down. Sheâs fuming now, her voice sharp and unsteady.
âSo what now?â she demands. âWhatâs your next move? You feel bad for how youâve treated me, so youâll do what? Buy me flowers? But never actually give them to me? Did you ever track down Christinaâs ex to get her locket back too? Or was that just a special little stunt for me?â
Her words hit harder than I expect, but before I can respond, she keeps going.
âAnd donât you dare try to tell me you havenât been with anyone else since that night in the house.â She scoffs, shaking her head. âChristina basically spelled out what happened in Vegas to me at the club.â
My jaw clenches.
What has Christina said to her?
I could argue. I could defend myself. I could try to explain that Christina doesnât mean a damn thing, that you could never trust a word out of her mouth, that nothing about this situation feels right.
But I donât manage to get a word in.
âIt makes sense to me now, the real reason you customised your jacket that way. You didnât do it because you felt something for me. You did it so if the topic of her in Vegas came up, you had something to sway me from believing it, so you could keep stringing me along.â She spits.
No. no. no. Thatâs not true. I need her to know thatâs not true.
âCan you please listen to me? I didnât even know they were coming out here.â I say almost desperately, just wanting her to know the truth.
She scoffs, shaking my head. âThat doesnât change anything.â
It does. I need her to know Chris invited them out here because he likes Rachel.
âIt changes a lotâ I insist, stepping forward. âChris was the one that brought them out here, he has a thing with Rachel and probably just-â
"-wants to smash?" her voice cutting through me like a knife, that sentence sounding oh so familiar.
Thereâs no way she heard me say that. I never meant it like that.
Her eyes burn into me, sharp and unrelenting. "Yeah, Matt, I know. Just like you said before, that Chris only gave me a job because he wants to smash?" She tilts her head, watching me closely, and I can feel the weight of realization creeping in.
"Yeah. I heard you when you said that."
My stomach twists, shame creeping in. I shift uncomfortably, rubbing the back of my neck. "I never meant that" I mutter. "I swear, I didnât mean it like that."
"Oh really?" She folds her arms, her patience running dangerously thin. "How exactly did you mean it then, Matt?" Her voice is sharp, no bullshit. "Because it sounded a lot like you were trying to discredit any of the work I do."
God itâs only getting worse. How do I tell her now that the only reason I said that was because I was jealous since I secretly had feelings for her.
I let out a sharp breath, looking away. "It wasnât about that, okay?" My voice is tight, strained. "Maybe I was jealous, maybe I was pissed off at the whole situation, maybe I just-" I stop myself, my jaw locking.
"Maybe you just what?" she pushes, her voice rising slightly.
I donât answer. Because I donât know how to. It was an awful thing to say.
And then, she laughs. A hollow, humorless sound. "Oh my god. It was projection, wasnât it?" She takes a step closer, her words like a slap to the face. "You said Chris only gave me a job because he wanted to smash, but really, that was just you speaking for yourself. You only ever kept me around because thatâs what you wanted."
Sheâs wrong, I want her to know shes wrong. But how do I convince her when the odds are stacked against me? When Iâve fucked up so many times that she canât see the truth even when itâs standing right in front of her.
"And congratulations, Matt. You got it."
The words knock the air from my lungs. Completely breaking me.
"And then you got it from her too, only a matter of hours later." Her voice is laced with disgust, and I feel the burn of it deep in my chest. My vision blurs slightly, but I donât dare blink.
Thatâs not how it happened. It was never like that.Â
But how can I explain it to her when sheâs already made up her mind? When my actions and the course of tonight look exactly like what she thinks they are?
"Itâs obvious to me now. You never had feelings for me. You never cared."
I swallow hard, my throat tight, my mind scrambling for the right words. But thereâs nothing that will fix this.
I did care. I still do. More than I know how to say. More than she would ever believe. And now, sheâs looking at me like Iâm just another mistake she regrets making.
"I know you saw me leave the club that night. I know you saw me walk out. And not once did you check on me. Not once did you care enough to see if I was okay. It was like, out of sight, out of mind. I disappeared, and you moved on like I was nothing."
Thatâs not true. Please just hear me out.
She shakes her head, a bitter laugh escaping her. "And then you brought her back here, to the same villa Iâm staying in, to rub it in my fucking face? Like this is some sick joke to you?" Her voice breaks from sheer, unfiltered rage. "And then to keep doing it, over and over again, like it wasnât enough to break me once?"
Her chest rises and falls unevenly, her eyes shining under the bright villa lights. But she doesnât look away. She holds my gaze, forces me to sit in the mess Iâve made.
"You didnât just move on, Matt. You made sure I saw it. You made sure I felt it. Like twisting the knife wasnât enough, you had to keep pushing it in, again and again."
I want to tell her sheâs wrong. That it wasnât like that. That I wasnât trying to hurt her.
But the truth is, I donât even know what I was doing anymore. I just know I never meant for it to end like this.
"And for what?" she demands, her voice breaking slightly. "To prove a point? To get back at me for something you thought I did? Or was it just fun for you? To watch me fall apart while you played pretend with her?"
Iâm just going to go for it. Tell her everything, whether she wants to listen or not.
But before I can, she cuts me off again.
"No. Donât. Because thereâs nothing you can say that will make this okay. Nothing you can do that will undo the fact that you chose this. You chose to hurt me. And Iâm fucking done. Because all youâve ever done is choose to hurt me. Over and over again, like itâs second nature to you." I stop for a second to catch my breath, realising how pointless this all is. "I donât even understand why youâre standing in front of me right now, when what you want is down at the bar with everyone else. Stop bothering me, and go back down there and get it"
In all the time Iâve known Y/n, in all the times Iâve made her mad, Iâve never seen her like this. I may have done some things that hurt her in the past, but god if I had any choice in this situation, this is not how it would be.Â
What I want is right in front of me.
"In fact" she lets out a bitter laugh, shaking her head, "donât ever think of speaking to me again. Because itâs clear now, Matt, we were always better off when we didnât speak. When we just ignored each other. Maybe thatâs what we shouldâve stayed."
Those words were enough to break me. I try to tell myself she doesnât mean it. But I canât lie, Iâm in shock. Iâm absolutely heartbroken. And I can't seem to get my feet to move from beneath me.
I watch her storm into the villa, the door slamming behind her with a force that rattles through my chest. My hands are still clenched at my sides, nails digging into my palms trying to keep the tears from spilling out but not enough to dull the ache spreading through me like wildfire.
She didnât even give me a chance to speak. Not that I could blame her. Because sheâs right.
I did hurt her. Over and over again. And they werenât just some accident. It wasnât just some mistake. It was a choice. I let my own fucked up feelings dictate my actions, let my pride and my fear twist into something ugly, something cruel. I had told myself at the time It was justified, that I had a reason for it all. I shouldâve known this would come and bite me in the ass eventually. The way I acted with her before this trip, the way I would push her away and pull her back whenever I let my feelings consume me. I set this in motion. And now I have to live with it.
I could leave. I could turn around, head back to the bar, pretend like none of this ever happened.
But I donât move.
Because I know that no amount of drinking, no amount of pretending, will make this go away. Will make her anger disappear.
I swallow hard, my throat burning.
Maybe she was right about something else, too. Maybe we really were better off when we didnât speak. When we were just two people existing in the same space, not tangled in whatever this has become.
But I also know thatâs a lie.
Because even when we werenât speaking, even when we acted like we didnât exist to each other, I still felt her. I still wanted her. And that never went away.
She doesnât know how strongly I feel for her. And now sheâs done with me.
I donât follow her into the villa either. I just sink down onto the steps in front of the villa, elbows on my knees, hands threading through my hair as my head falls forward. My vision blurs, and when the first sob floods through me, I donât even try to stop it.
I donât know how long I sit there, silent except for the occasional trembling breath, my fingers gripping at my hair like I can somehow hold myself together if I just squeeze hard enough.
Then, headlights sweep across the driveway. A car pulls up, engine cutting out.
I wipe at my face quickly, like that will erase the evidence of everything thatâs breaking inside me.Â
Nick steps out, and the second his eyes land on me, I can tell heâs shocked by the look on his face. He doesnât say anything at first. He just stands there, taking me in, the mess Iâve become.
I swallow hard, forcing down the lump in my throat. âDonât.â I mutter before he even has the chance to open his mouth.
Nick exhales through his nose, shaking his head slightly as he walks toward me. âJesus, Mattâ he mutters, dragging a hand through his hair.
I let out a hollow laugh, my voice hoarse. âYeah. Jesus, Matt.â
Because what else is there to say?
Nick exhales, his hands on his hips as he looks at me. âAre you okay?â
I scoff, shaking my head. Itâs not even worth pretending. My voice is raw when I finally speak. âSheâs done with me.â The words fill me with grief, like saying them out loud makes them more real. Permanent.
Nick watches me for a moment, then lets out a sigh, rubbing his jaw. âIâm gonna go up and talk to herâ he says, nodding toward the villa. âYou should probably get some rest.â
I take his advice. Dragging myself up from the front steps, I head inside, my body heavy with exhaustion. My mind is spinning, replaying every word she threw at me, every accusation, every ounce of hurt in her voice. But Iâm trying to convince myself that she didnât mean it.
Sheâs angry. Upset. Overwhelmed. Maybe she needs to sleep the night off.Â
Iâll talk to her first thing in the morning.
With that thought, I shut my door behind me, lying back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Waiting for morning.
And finally when it rolls around, I wake up with only one thing on my mind.
Iâm fixing this.
I donât waste time. I donât second guess myself. I just get up, throw on a shirt, and head straight to Y/nâs room. I need to talk to her before she has time to build up any more walls between us. Before she convinces herself that everything she said last night is final.
I knock on her door, waiting only a second before pushing it open.
But the second I step inside, the only person in there is Nick, making the bed, his expression unreadable.
My eyes dart around frantically,Â
Itâs nearly empty.
Her suitcase is gone. Vanity is cleared. No sliders next to the bed.
I swallow hard, my chest tightening as I force my gaze back to Nick.
âSheâs gone, isnât she?â
a/n : YOU ALL BEST APOLOGISE TO MATT FOR THE MEAN THINGS YOUS SAID. but fr though if this was you would you let him off the hook if you knew the truth?
The rose garden festival was in full swing. The whole kingdom was preparing for the day ahead, gathering everything needed for the festivities. It was your favorite time of the year, the season where the flowers bloomed and everyone from surrounding kingdoms visited to celebrate the spring ahead. You have always loved this day. It was filled with colorful flowers and a sense of happiness that spread around the kingdom.
While your mother and father were at the castle directing the vendors and such for the food and venue setup, you were stuck in a horse-drawn carriage with one of your fatherâs guards. You insisted on riding along because you wanted some fresh air away from the crowded castle, and Chris had to retrieve and deliver the flowers for the event. You two wouldâve been home already if he didnât decide to take a last-minute shortcut after picking up the daffodils. âMy father is probably wondering why I am,â you mutter under your breath, crossing your arms over your chest.
Chris kept his eyes on the path ahead, the soft gallop of the horseâs hoofs being the only thing you could hear as the carriage dragged along the dirt road. âYou have no idea where we are, do you?â You roll your eyes, your voice laced with annoyance. Chris finally turns his head to look at you before averting his gaze back to the road. âCalm down, princess,â he said calmly, pulling the map from his small pouch attached to his armor. âRead this map. It should say where thereâs a main road,â he said, throwing the map into your lap. You look down, eyebrows furrowed as you scoff, directing the carriage was supposed to be his job. You were simply along for the ride.
âThis makes little sense!,â you exclaim, groaning as you hold the map, utter confusion plastered on your face. Letting out a soft chuckle, he grabs the map and turns it over, a smirk tugging on his lips. Being in the castle most of the time left you not knowing much about the outside grounds of the kingdom. Sure, you knew the surrounding area well, but you were now in uncharted territory. You spent most days in the castle reading your romance fairytale books, or trying on new dresses.
The whole kingdom cherished you as you were the only princess within your community, which also brought a lot of expectations. âDid you find a good path yet?â Chrisâs voice broke through your thoughts as you looked up, noticing he had stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the forest. âSo you admit weâre lost.â You glare at him, handing him the map as he lays it out on his lap, tracing his finger along the small drawn lines. âWhy are you scared?,â he teased, glancing up at you with the same smirk still on his face.
Shifting in your seat, you hear a rustling noise from deep in the forest. Chris was immediately alert, putting his hand on his dagger, he was always prepared for anything. His eyes peer, looking around, trying not to make a sound as he tries to find the source of the noise. âWhat was that?,â you whisper all of a sudden, feeling freighted as you knew these woods werenât the safe place to be.
âStay here,â he whispers back, getting off of the carriage and slowly making his way in the direction of the noise, his steps quiet and careful. You on the other hand were stepping on anything and everything that made noise, leaves crunching under your flats and twigs snapping with each step as you followed him. He turns around abruptly, his face turned in a scowl, brunette curls framing his features.
âDo you ever listen?,â he rolls his eyes, continuing to walk further into the woods. âI told you to stay in the carriage,â your footsteps were still loud, if there was any invader, he would know exactly where the two of you were by now. âSince when did I take orders from you,â you snap back, lifting your foot to step over another twig, the hem of your gown getting snagged.
A loud rip echoing through the forest, your jaw dropped as you stumbled forward, certain you would fall face first in the dark soil of the earth. Your limbs dangling from under you as you trip forward, eyes squeezing shut to prepare for the impact. Chrisâ hands wrap around your waist, catching you before you fall, your eyes slowly flutter open, seeing his flushed face, his gaze meeting yours. âTold you to stay in the carriage,â he remarks smirking, breaking the silence passing through you both.
Your heart started to flutter suddenly, feeling this pit in your chest youâve never felt before at his words, you quickly got back up on your feet, brushing off your dress. âWe wouldnât be in this mess, if you didnât insist on taking this dumb shortcut,â he was quick to let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head in dismay as he turned to make his way back to the carriage.
âI thought we were seeing what that noise was?â you question, holding the hem of your dress to prevent further damage. âYouâre so loud, if it was a creature of some sort itâs been scared off already. And if it was a person we wouldâve been captured by now,â he says, getting back into the carriage, leaving you standing there holding the fabric of your lace pink dress. âWhatever, letâs get back before you get us both killed,â you mutter stepping back onto the carriage.Â
â1000 tulips, 1400 sunflowers, 2000 roses,...â The man trails off, crossing each flower off of his paper as Chris stacks the wooden crates in the back of the horse carriage while you stand nearby picking at your nail beds.
âI canât believe you ripped my dressâŚâ You mutter glancing up at him as he continues his task. âYou ripped your dress by yourself,â he replied, dusting his hands off and closing the hatch at the back of the carriage. You groan, glaring at him, watching as he takes the paper from the man and looks over it once more before putting it into his pouch.
âThe short cut was your idea, and thatâs how my dress ripped. Therefore, it is your fault,â you say matter-of-factly sitting back down in the carriage, watching his jaw clench in annoyance. âI canât wait to get back and get away from you,â he mumbles under his breath, snapping the reins to get the horses to pull the heavy load back to the kingdom. âYouâre saying you didnât enjoy my company?â you tease a grin plastered on your face.
He stays quiet the rest of the ride back to the castle, you stare ahead, trying not to bore yourself. You and Chris always had a strange sort of relationship, you werenât friends in fact, you could hardly tolerate each other, always bickering. It all started when your father had hired him, he was a new knight in training, but your father swore he saw something in him. God knows what that was, maybe a headache? Thatâs all you could think of and thatâs all Chris gave you, was a headache.
Of course you two didnât talk much but when you did, it was always filled with his backhanded comments or teasing words. He had been your fatherâs guard for a while now, whenever your parents went to another kingdom or to visit some place, he always told Chris to keep an eye on you. As if you werenât old enough to not have a babysitter, your father had other guards, but he didnât like them as much as he liked and trusted Chris.
He was one of your fatherâs younger guards, but he was always on top of his duties, heâs the only one you ever talked to, not like you wanted to talk to him anyways.Â
âThank you, Chris, I knew I could count on you.â Your father chuckled as he looked over the flower order once more while Chris worked on taking the crates out of the carriage. You were standing nearby watching as Chris carried every crate to the entrance of the castle. âYou know, you could come to the festival, Chris. If youâd like, the king chuckled as he leaned over and ruffled your hair. âIâm sure Chris has other plans,â you mutter, crossing your arms over your chest, you couldnât fathom having him at the festival.
He would probably ruin your night by pestering you to no escape. You watched as he staked the last of the crates and dusted his hands before making his way to put away the carriage. âI think Iâll pass, youâll be needing security tonight, right?â he asks your father, petting the horseâs mane.
The king waved his hand dismissively, he had enough hands on deck, and truly he was sure there would be no need for extreme measures. You open your mouth to say something but your motherâs footsteps stop you, closing your mouth as you give her a small smile.
âItâll be a pleasure to have you, Chris,â she says, wrapping her arm around your shoulders and hugging you tightly. Holding back an eye roll, you gave him a tight-lipped smile, watching as his smirk crept back up on his face, he started getting back onto the carriage. But not before turning his head to face you and mouthing a quick âSee you later princess.â
note: finally i made an intro piece from now on it will be slow updates :)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22
Pairing: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo
Summary: Y/n has always clashed with Matt. Despite working for Chrisâs clothing brand and being close with Nick, her relationship with Matt has always been tense at best. While being forced to be around each other more, their animosity turns into something deeper. Can they overcome their differences, or will their fiery emotions tear them apart?
Warnings: Angst, tension, feeling of betrayal, mentions of loss of appetite, arguments, this ones a looooooong one
The sun is beginning its slow descent by the time I finally drag myself out of bed. My body feels heavy, like Iâve been carrying the weight of the world in my chest. I need something, anything, to ground me, and right now, a cup of tea sounds like the only thing that might help.
Thatâs the plan. Go to the kitchen, make it, and come straight back up to my room. Iâll sit on my balcony and watch the last bits of sunlight disappear while I think about what to do next.
 But my main goal: avoid Matt.
I slip out of my room, moving as quietly as possible. The last thing I want is to draw attention to myself. The house is silent apart from the distant murmur of voices outside on the patio. I catch a glimpse through the window, figures sitting around, but I canât make out exactly who. Not that it matters. Iâm not stopping to find out.
The only sound that gives away my presence is the low whirl of the kettle. I stand there, staring at it as it heats up, feeling every second drag out like an eternity. I grab a mug and put the tea bag in it so as soon as it clicks off, I can pour the water and milk, moving quickly but carefully. Just get in, get out.
Successfully, I make my tea.Â
Mission accomplished.Â
Now, I just need to make it back upstairs.
But just as I start up the steps, the sound of the patio door sliding open sends a jolt of panic through me.Â
Shit.
I donât even turn to see who it is, I just pick up my pace, practically going up the steps two at a time.
I reach the top of the stairs and turn the corner, then..
BAM.
I nearly spill my tea everywhere as I slam into someone, my breath catching in my throat. I look up, and my stomach drops.
Matt.
For a split second, time slows. His eyes lock onto mine, searching, but I donât give him the chance. Like Iâm on autopilot, my feet keep moving, my mouth stays shut, and I walk right past him without a single word.
I donât stop. I donât hesitate. I reach my room, step inside, and lock the door behind me.
I let out a shaky breath, gripping my mug a little tighter. I try my best to shake it off. It was just a few seconds. Just an unfortunate encounter in a house that now feels way too small.
I know Iâm going to have to face him sooner or later. Thereâs no avoiding it forever. But Iâm not ready right now, not for a one on one, not for the inevitable conversation.
So, instead of dwelling on it, I step onto the balcony. The sun is slowly dropping lower, so I sit here and try an appreciate the sky, and for the first time all day, I feel like I can breathe..
Until there's a knock at my door.
I freeze.
No. No, no, no. If this is Matt, I swear to god.
But then I hear a familiar voice from the other side of the door.
âY/n? Itâs me.â
Nick.
Relief washes over me so quickly it almost knocks me over. I exhale, setting my tea down on the small table before walking back inside. I hesitate for just a second before unlocking the door.
Nick steps into the room, his expression soft but searching mine. "How you doing?"
I shrug lightly, forcing a small smile. "I'm okay.. I just made a cup of tea. Was gonna sit out on the balcony while the sun sets."
Nick nods, his eyes flicking toward the open balcony doors. "Mind if I sit with you?"
"Of course not" I say, stepping aside so he can follow me out.
We settle into the chairs. The silence between us is comforting, a huge difference to the chaos of the past twenty four hours.
After a minute, Nick clears his throat. "I ran into Matt coming up the stairs."
My body stiffens, fingers tightening around my mug. "Oh."
âI just asked if he had spoken to you yet, and he said no."
I huff out a breath, looking back toward the view. I take a slow sip of my tea before turning back to Nick. "So, what's your plan for the night?"
He leans back in his chair, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I'm gonna go meet that guy."
I raise an eyebrow. "That guy? Youâve been talking about him for days, and I still donât even know his name."
Nick hesitates, his expression shifting slightly. He looks at me like he's bracing for something.
I narrow my eyes. "Nick.. what?"
He winces, rubbing the back of his neck. "His name is.. George."
For a second, we just stare at each other. Then, at the exact same moment, we both burst out laughing.
"George?!" I manage between laughs.
"I know! I know!" Nick groans, covering his face. "I was hoping you wouldnât ask."
"I'm sorry, but thatâs just- " I laugh harder, shaking my head.
Nick grins, finally giving in. "I know I never pictured myself with a George but I swear, the way he is makes up for it though!"
"I'm sure it does.." I say, still giggling. "It's just.. George."
We end our fit of laughter and I donât bother asking what everyone elseâs plans are, especially after overhearing Chris earlier. My guess is heâs going to meet Rachel. Whether Matt tags along to meet Christina too is a different story. I donât want to know. All I know is that Iâm not moving from this room.
Nick doesnât press the conversation any further, and I appreciate that. Instead, we sit there, laughter lingering in the air between us. I'm glad Nick came into me because suddenly I feel a little bit lighter.
Eventually, he checks his phone and sighs. "I should probably start getting ready."
I nod, still staring at the sunset. "Yeah. Have fun."
Nick hesitates for a second before standing. "You sure youâre good?"
I glance at him, offering a small smile. "Yeah, Iâm good." I mean it is a lie, but he doesnât call me out on it.
He squeezes my shoulder before heading out. I exhale, setting my empty mug down on the table beside me. I know I should eat something, try to distract myself, maybe even attempt to sleep, but I donât move. I stay curled up in my chair, staring at the fading sky, wondering how everything changed so fast.
When I finally move to my bed, I pull the covers up around me, but even laying here feels weird. The sheets feel awful against me now, tainted with memories that once brought comfort but now only make my stomach churn. My mind spirals, picturing how easily our history could be replicated in his bed, with someone else. The thought makes my chest tighten, and I squeeze my eyes shut, wanting it all to stop.
I take a deep breath, then another, but it doesnât help. My mind keeps circling back to the same place, the same questions, the same ache in my chest that refuses to go away. How could he do this? Did any of it mean anything? Was I just another passing moment for him?
I need to make it stop.
I turn onto my side, curling into myself, exhausted from it all. Being honest, my eyes hurt that much from crying, I donât find it hard to fall asleep.
I wake up the next morning determined to be a new woman. I have a shower to wash away all of yesterday's sorrow, before pulling out the smallest blue bikini I could find. I make my way downstairs and throw myself together a small breakfast, considering I haven't eaten in over 24 hours but not forcing myself too much as my appetite still isn't fully back yet.
I take my breakfast outside to the patio and I settle onto a lounger, my plate resting on my lap. The villa is silent. Everyone must still be asleep, sleeping off their drunken choices, their reckless mistakes.
Good. I need the peace.
I take a slow bite of my food, staring out at the water. The pool glistens under the morning light, the water undisturbed. Today is a new day. A fresh start.
I adjust my sunglasses and stretch out after putting my plate under my lounger, determined to soak in the sun and let it warm the parts of me that feel cold and bitter. If anyone sees me out here, I want them to see that Iâm unbothered. That Iâm fine.
A few minutes pass in silence before I hear the sliding door creak open behind me. I don't turn to look. I don't react.
I realise itâs Nate and Nick coming out, both looking more awake than I expected.
"Morning" they say in unison, and I greet them with a small smile âMorning early birds.â
I turn to Nick first. "Soooo? How was your night with George?"
Nick rubs the back of his neck, and I can tell heâs holding back his excitement for my sake. "It was good" he says simply.
I narrow my eyes at him. "Nick."
He sighs, then finally lets the grin slip through. "Okay, fine. It was great, actually. We got drinks, had a laugh. Heâs funny, really easy to talk to."
I smile at him, genuinely happy. "Thatâs what I like to hear. You deserve a good time."
Nick gives me a look, like heâs checking if I really mean it. I do. Just because my love life is a disaster doesnât mean I want everyone else to be miserable with me.
I turn to Nate next. "And what about you? What were you up to?"
Nate stretches his arms over his head, looking far too well rested. "Didnât move from my bed. Best sleep Iâve had in weeks."
I laugh. "Of course you did. You look like you just got back from a spa retreat while the rest of us look like we barely survived the night."
The three of us settle into conversation, and for a moment, I let myself enjoy the lightness of it. But in the back of my mind, I know this moment wonât last. The rest of the villa is still asleep, for now. And soon enough, Iâll have to face the reality Iâve been trying to avoid.
"Is Chris up?" I ask Nate, trying to sound casual.
Nate shakes his head. "Donât think he even came back here last night."
I swallow hard, nodding slowly. "Oh right"
There's been no sign of Matt either. That tells me everything I need to know.
Guess that means he went out with Chris and stayed with Christina last night again.
I shouldâve expected it, but expecting something doesnât make it hurt any less.
For the rest of the morning, it stays just me, Nick, and Nate chilling outside. The sun climbs higher, and the villa remains quiet, no sign of Chris or Matt. I sip on my water, listening to the distant waves crashing on the shore, slipping in and out of conversation with Nick and Nate as a distraction.
By midday, that peacefulness is interrupted. I hear the sliding door open, followed by the sound of footsteps approaching.
I lift my head slightly, peering through my sunglasses. Chris and Matt step outside together. Just seeing them like this, together, appearing at the same time, only further confirms what I already knew.Â
Matt was with Christina last night.
I can feel my heart break over again, but I refuse to let it show.
Without a word, I rest my head back down on the lounger, keeping my sunglasses on, blocking them out. Iâm not ready for any type of conversation. Not yet.
Nate and Nick casually greet them, like nothing is out of the ordinary. Chris stretches, rubbing the back of his neck, and asks if anyoneâs hungry.
My stomach twists at the thought of food. The second I saw Matt, my appetite vanished again. So I keep my mouth closed.
Nate says he is and disappears inside with them, leaving just me and Nick alone by the pool.
The quiet settles between us for a moment before Nick turns to me. âAre you coming to dinner tonight?â His tone sounds like he wants me to be there, even though he understands If I donât want to.
I hesitate. The idea of sitting at a table with Matt, pretending everything is fine, feels impossible. I open my mouth to say no, but Nick is already cutting me off.
âYou donât have to talk to him at allâ he reassures me. âIâll be there the whole time.â
I exhale, chewing on my bottom lip. I do feel bad if I donât go. Itâs just dinner, right? I mean, the tension between Matt and I is like old times, nothing I havenât had to deal with or experience before. The only thing is, the feeling in my chest is a hundred times worse than it ever was before.
âOkayâ I finally say. âIâll come.â
Nick grins, tapping my arm lightly. âWeâll have a good time, I promise.â
I nod, but the weight in my chest doesnât lift.
By now, itâs nearly 3pm, and the sun has drained me but nowhere near as much as the situation with Matt has. The exhaustion clings to me, both physical and emotional, and I know if I donât rest now, Iâll be useless later.
âI think Iâm gonna go for a napâ I mumble, pushing myself up from the lounger.
Nick gives me a small smile. âGood idea. Iâll wake you if youâre not up in time.â
I nod again, grateful, and make my way inside. The second I hit my bed, the world around me fades.
When I wake up, the air in my room feels heavier, the remnants of my dreams still in my brain. I shake them off and head straight for the shower.
By the time I step out, wrapped in a towel, I feel better. Maybe, tonight wonât be as bad as I think.
I walk out and go to sit at the vanity, but I feel like I need to lift the vibe even more.
A drink and music.
Thatâs what I need if I have any chance of enjoying myself tonight.
Still in my towel, I make my way downstairs, moving quickly so I donât run into anyone. I pour myself a vodka lemonade, throwing pieces of ice into the fancy glass.
Running back up to my room, I shut the door, take a sip, and set my speaker on full blast. I turn on Itâs ok, iâm ok by Tate McRae, the lyrics hitting a little too close to home. I let the music drown out my thoughts as I start getting ready, determined to feel like myself again, even if itâs just for tonight.
I move through my routine on autopilot, letting the music and the slight buzz from my drink carry me through. Iâm not overthinking my outfit, my makeup, or my hair, yet somehow, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I look effortlessly put together. Maybe itâs the lighting, maybe itâs the fact that Iâve just given up on caring, but either way, I feel like this is the best Iâve ever looked.
I pick up my phone and text Nick, asking him to come to my room to take pictures. It barely takes a minute before heâs knocking on my door, slipping inside with an approving grin.
âDamnnnn!â he says, dragging the word out. âYou look amazing.â
I roll my eyes, but I canât help the smile that creeps onto my lips. âYou have to say that.â
âI really donâtâ he laughs, already pulling his phone out. âWe need evidence of this moment.â
We take a few pictures together, Nick hyping me up between shots, making me laugh just enough to keep it natural.
When weâre satisfied with the pictures, I wonder where it is weâre actually going to eat. âSo, where are we even going for dinner?â
âSome Italian place Chris bookedâ Nick says, glancing at his phone. âHe said he made the reservation earlier.
I nod, I love italian food, so Iâm hoping this whole thing is just easy. I grab my purse, double checking that I have everything, phone, keys to the villa, money. I take a deep breath before heading downstairs with Nick.
The moment we step into the foyer, I see them. Chris, Nate, and Matt are all standing together, talking casually like nothing has changed, like the last few days havenât flipped my world upside down. Matt looks up first. For the briefest second, our eyes meet, and I swear I see something flash across his face, itâs something, but I canât make out what. But I donât let myself dwell on it.
I adjust the strap of my purse on my shoulder, forcing my expression to remain neutral. This is the closest Iâve been to Matt since the nightclub, since everything, but I refuse to let it get to me. Not tonight.
I tilt my chin up slightly, gripping onto my confidence like itâs my lifeline, and step forward like I donât have a care in the world.
I stay locked in conversation with Nick as we leave the villa to make our way to the restaurant, trying to distract myself from the tension in the air. Chris lingers back slightly, eventually matching my pace as we walk. His presence next to me is quiet at first, almost hesitant, before he finally speaks.
"You okay?" His voice is low, careful, like he already knows the answer but feels the need to ask anyway.
Itâs a weird one. I haven't heard from Chris since everything went down. Heâs been distant, not in a hostile way, but in a way that tells me he didnât know how to approach me. And now, here he is, finally asking.
I glance at him briefly, weighing my response before settling on, "I will be."
Chris nods slowly, seeming to accept that answer. âCan we talk later? About everything?â
I exhale softly, not quite ready to dive into whatever everything entails but knowing that itâs overdue. I donât think there was any malice from him in this situation. And Iâm not mad at him at all. I would like to know what his thought process was throughout all this. And maybe, he's actually done me a favour. âYeah,â I agree. âLater.â
That seems to be enough for now. The group keeps moving, making our way toward the restaurant. When we arrive, the guys step inside ahead of us, but I notice them mumbling amongst themselves, their voices low and almost hurried, like thereâs some sort of confusion.
Something about their body language makes me pause, and I follow their line of sight before realizing exactly what has caught their attention.
Rachel and Christina.
Theyâre seated at a table near the back. Five empty seats are pulled out beside them, waiting.
A sharp, sinking feeling settles in my stomach.
Of course.Â
Of course theyâre here. It was already bad enough having to see Matt, to sit across from him and pretend I wasnât still breaking, but now, this?
I donât even have to look at him to know. I can feel his presence, his hesitation. I wonder if he knew theyâd be here. If this was always the plan.
My fingers tighten slightly around the strap of my purse as I will myself to keep my composure.
This night just got a whole lot harder.
Nick squeezes my hand gently, a silent reassurance that heâs here, that Iâm not alone in this. âWhat do you wanna do?â he asks quietly, his voice just for me.
I take a breath, steadying myself. âSit at the other endâ I say, keeping my voice even, refusing to let this shake me any more than it already has.
Without hesitation, Nick follows my lead, guiding me toward the farthest end of the table, away from Rachel and Christina. I slide into my seat, positioning myself as far as I can from them, while Nick sits beside me, his presence like a barrier between me and whatever mess is sitting across the table.
Matt and Chris take their seats. Chris next to Rachel and Matt next to Christina. Whether it was planned or just happened naturally, I donât know, but it doesnât make a difference, the damage is done.Â
The tension is suffocating. You could cut it with a knife. I never thought at the start of this trip Iâd be sitting diagonally across from Matt and another girl.
Nobody speaks at first. Thereâs an awkward shuffle of menus being picked up, the quiet clinking of silverware as waiters move around us, but no real conversation.Â
I keep my gaze down, focused on the menu even though Iâm not really reading it. My appetite had started to come back earlier, but now? Completely gone again.
Nick, ever my lifeline in this nightmare, leans in slightly constantly making sure Iâm okay. âYou good?â he murmurs, his voice low enough that only I can hear.
I nod once, though Iâm not sure if I mean it. âYeahâ I lie. âIâm fine.â
But we both know Iâm not.
I try to keep my focus on the menu, pretending to be absorbed in the options, but itâs impossible to ignore Christina. She is relentless, shifting in her seat so sheâs angled toward Matt, her body language screaming interest. The way she leans forward, the way her fingers reach out casually to graze his forearm as she talks, itâs all so intentional.
âOh my God, Matt, you look so good tonightâ she purrs, tilting her head as she studies him. âDid you do something different? Your hair? A new cologne?â
Matt barely reacts, only offering a tight lipped smile as he glances at her briefly. âUh, no. Same as always.â he replies, going back to his menu.
But Christina isnât deterred. She lets out a soft, exaggerated sigh. âGod, I canât believe weâre all in Hawaii together. It feels like such a movie moment, donât you think?â She flicks her gaze up at him through her lashes. âLike, if this was a movie, weâd be the main characters.â
Matt huffs a small laugh through his nose, shaking his head. âYeah, I donât know about that, donât really take myself as the main character type of guy.â His tone is light, but thereâs no real engagement. Heâs keeping it neutral.
Sheâs not giving up, though. She leans in again, dropping her voice to something more sultry. âYou know, I had so much fun the other nightâ she murmurs, just loud enough for me to hear.Â
My stomach twists, but I donât react. I refuse to. Instead, I lift my glass of water to my lips, taking a slow sip as if Iâm completely unbothered.
Nick shifts beside me, subtly kicking my foot under the table as if to say donât react. I know heâs watching me closely, waiting for me to crack, but I wonât.
Chris, whoâs been silent this whole time, suddenly clears his throat. âChristina, didnât you say this was your first time in Hawaii?â
Itâs so obviously a distraction tactic, and I canât tell if heâs doing it to get her off Mattâs back or because he knows Iâm sitting here, silently absorbing every word.
Christina finally tears her gaze away from Matt and glances at Chris. âOh, yeah it is.â she says, waving a hand dismissively.Â
Matt doesnât say anything. He just flips a page of the menu, like none of this is even phasing him. Meanwhile, Rachel is watching me like a hawk, waiting for a reaction.
I meet her eyes for a split second and give her the most nonchalant look I can muster before turning to Nick. âWhat are you getting?â I ask, my voice steady.
Nick glances at me, eyes scanning my face for any sign of weakness before answering, âProbably the carbonara.â
I nod. âGood choice.â
Nate, ever the sweetheart, seems to pick up on everything, the way Iâm keeping my head down, the way Nick keeps a protective presence beside me, the way Matt and Christinaâs exchange is unfolding just within earshot. Without missing a beat, he slides into conversation with me and Nick as heâs seated opposite us, as if weâre in our own little bubble, separate from the tension on the other side of the table.
âSo, whatâs the plan for tomorrow?â Nate asks, leaning forward with a smile. âI was thinking of heading down to the beach early. Maybe rent a jet ski or something. You two in?â
Nick catches on immediately, grateful for the shift in attention. âAbsolutely. Iâd love to see you wipe out within the first five minutes.â
Nate pretends to be offended, placing a hand over his chest. âExcuse you, Iâm actually a professional. Very experienced!â
I canât help but smile at their antics, grateful for the distraction. âProfessional, huh? Iâll believe it when I see it.â
Nate smirks. âOh, you will. And when I leave you both in my wake, donât come crying to me.â
Nick scoffs. âYeah, okay, Nate. Keep dreaming.â
As we laugh, itâs almost easy to forget the rest of the table exists, almost. Because out of the corner of my eye, I see Chris sitting stiffly, glancing between me and the rest of the group, like he doesnât know what to do with himself. He hasnât even touched his menu. He just sits there, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, like heâs caught in the middle of something he never signed up for.
At one point, he opens his mouth like he wants to say something,to me, but then he hesitates, pressing his lips together instead. His fingers drum restlessly against the table. Itâs almost like he wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room, but he canât.
I keep my focus on Nate and Nick as everyone gives their orders, letting them carry me through the moment, keeping me occupied. And for now, thatâs all I need.
The food arrives shortly after, and I focus on my meal, keeping my eyes down, keeping my composure. If I just get through dinner, Iâll be fine.
But Christina doesnât make it easy.
She just doesnât stop, her voice carrying just loud enough to ensure I hear every flirtatious remark, every exaggerated giggle. Itâs all so obvious, the way she leans toward Matt, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger.Â
âOh my God, Matt, youâre so funnyâ she forces, brushing her fingers against his wrist like itâs the most natural thing in the world. He hasnât even said anything that funny.
âWe should totally do something after this!â Christina continues, tilting her head. âMaybe check out that tiki bar? It would be so fun.â
Matt doesnât commit. âMaybe.â
Maybe.
That single word twists something in my stomach, because it means he hasnât outright said no. And I know it shouldnât matter but that doesnât stop the sting.
As everyone starts discussing where to go next, I stay quiet, already knowing my answer. The only place I want to be right now is home. I only ever agreed to dinner, nothing more. The idea of trailing behind while Christina continues her performance, while Matt does whatever heâs doing, is unbearable.
I lean toward Nick and quietly tell him, âIâm heading back.â
He nods in understanding, not even questioning it. âThatâs fair. Iâll go for one drink, then Iâll be home after. We can debrief, Iâll try to get more info.â
I manage a small smile at that. If thereâs anyone I can count on to feed me the details later, itâs Nick.
We both stand, and I feel Chrisâs eyes on me, but I donât meet them. If he wants to talk, he can find me when Iâm not on the verge of either snapping or crying.
Nick walks me to the taxi rank just outside the restaurant, following behind me as we weave through the crowd. I should want to stay out, to drown out my thoughts with drinks and distractions, but all I want is to be alone.
âYou sure youâre okay going back on your own?â Nick asks as we wait for a taxi to pull up.
I let out a breath. âYeah. Just over it.â
Nick doesnât push. âIâll text you when Iâm on my way back.â
A taxi pulls up, and he opens the door for me. Before I get in, he squeezes my hand briefly, just a reminder that Iâm not alone in all of this.
I nod my thanks, slide into the backseat, and as the car pulls away, I finally let out a breath I didnât even realize I was holding.
I pull up to the villa and thank the taxi man, paying him for the fare. I step out of the car and as I do one pulls up directly behind me.
I freeze for a second, my stomach tightening as I watch Matt step out of the taxi behind me. Of all people, of all times, it has to be him.
I donât wait for him to say anything. I turn toward the villa, walking quickly up the steps, my heels clicking against the cobblestone pavement. I take my keys out of my bag, unlocking the front door.
I can hear him behind me, his footsteps unhurried, like heâs debating whether to call my name.
âWaitâ Mattâs voice finally breaks the silence, and I feel his presence closer than I expected. âCan we talk?â
I let out a slow breath before turning to face him, the front door slightly open behind me. His eyes search mine, like heâs trying to figure out where my head is at.
âTalk about what, Matt?â My voice is steady, but I can feel the exhaustion creeping in.
He rubs the back of his neck, looking almost.. nervous? âAbout this. About everything.â
âIâm not too sure what there is to talk aboutâ I say, my voice surprisingly steady. âIâve seen it all. I saw Christina in your bed. I saw how she was with you tonight.â
Mattâs face falls, and he opens his mouth like heâs about to say something, but I donât let him.
âAnd now, what? You think you can stand here and make some sorry excuse for your actions? Do you even realize how disrespectful that is?â My voice rises slightly, frustration taking over. âYou canât just act like nothing happened, Matt. You donât get to do that.â
He sighs, rubbing his hand over his jaw. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"Well, itâs a bit too late for that now.â I say, my voice sharp.Â
"Iâm sorry." he mutters.
I let out a short laugh. "Yeah. So am I.â
Matt stands there looking at me, almost confused.
âI'm sorry I let you play with me for so long. Sorry I let you in, that I actually believed there was something real between us. But itâs clear now, isnât it? Whatever tension was there, it was only ever sexual for you."
Matt steps forward, opening his mouth to protest, but I cut him off.
"So what now?" I snap, my voice shaking with anger. "Whatâs your next move? You feel bad for how youâve treated me, so youâll do what? Buy me flowers? But never actually give them to me? Did you ever track down Christinaâs ex to get her locket back too? Or was that just a special little stunt for me?"
I let out a short, humorless laugh, shaking my head. "And donât you dare try to tell me you havenât been with anyone else since that night in the house. Christina basically spelled out what happened in Vegas to me at the club.â
Then realisation hits me. âIt makes sense to me now, the real reason you customised your jacket that way. You didnât do it because you felt something for me. You did it so if the topic of her in Vegas came up, you had something to sway me from believing it, so you could keep stringing me along.â
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. âCan you please listen to me? I didnât even know they were coming out hereâ he says quickly, almost desperately, like that one fact will make any of this better.
I scoff, shaking my head. âThat doesnât change anything.â
âIt changes a lotâ he insists, stepping forward. âChris was the one that brought them out here, he has a thing with Rachel and probably just-â
"-wants to smash?" I finish for him, my voice sharp.Â
"Yeah, Matt, I know. Just like you said before, that Chris only gave me a job because he wants to smash?" I tilt my head, watching as realization dawns on his face. "Yeah. I heard you when you said that."
Matt shifts uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. "I never meant that" he mutters. "I swear, I didnât mean it like that."
"Oh really?" I fold my arms, my patience running dangerously thin. "How exactly did you mean it then, Matt?" My voice is sharp, no bullshit. "Because it sounded a lot like you were trying to discredit any of the work I do."
Matt exhales sharply, looking away. "It wasnât about that, okay?" His voice is tight, like heâs struggling to find the right words. "Maybe I was jealous, maybe I was pissed off at the whole situation, maybe I just-" He stops himself, his jaw locking.
"Maybe you just what?" I push, my voice rising slightly.
His silence is louder than anything he could say. And then, it hits me.
I let out a hollow laugh, shaking my head. "Oh my god. It was projection, wasnât it?" I take a step closer, my words like a slap to the face. "You said Chris only gave me a job because he wanted to smash, but really, that was just you speaking for yourself. You only ever kept me around because thatâs what you wanted."
I take a breath, my heart pounding. "And congratulations, Matt. You got it."
Mattâs face falls completely.
"And then you got it from her too, only a matter of hours later." My voice is laced with disgust, and I see the tears welling in Matt's eyes, but I donât stop. "Itâs obvious to me now, you never had feelings for me. You never cared."
I take another step closer, my chest rising and falling with the force of everything Iâve kept inside. "I know you saw me leave the club that night. I know you saw me walk out. And not once did you check on me. Not once did you care enough to see if I was okay. It was like, out of sight, out of mind. I disappeared, and you moved on like I was nothing."
I shake my head, a bitter laugh escaping me. "And then you brought her back here, to the same villa Iâm staying in, to rub it in my fucking face? Like this is some sick joke to you?" And then to keep doing it, over and over again, like it wasnât enough to break me once?" My voice shakes, but not from weakness, from the sheer weight of the betrayal burning inside me. "You didnât just move on, Matt. You made sure I saw it. You made sure I felt it. Like twisting the knife wasnât enough, you had to keep pushing it in, again and again."
I shake my head, my breathing uneven. "And for what? To prove a point? To get back at me for something you thought Iâve done? Or was it just fun for you? To watch me fall apart while you played pretend with her?"
Mattâs mouth opens like he wants to say something, to defend himself, but I cut him off before he can even try. "No. Donât. Because thereâs nothing you can say that will make this okay. Nothing you can do that will undo the fact that you chose this. You chose to hurt me. And Iâm fucking done." I spit, my chest rising and falling with the force of everything Iâve held back.Â
"Because all youâve ever done is choose to hurt me. Over and over again, like itâs second nature to you." I stop for a second to catch my breath, realising how pointless this all is. "I donât even understand why youâre standing in front of me right now, when what you want is down at the bar with everyone else. Stop bothering me, and go back down there and get it."
Matt looks at me, his jaw tight, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, like he wants to argue. Like he wants to fight his case. But he doesnât get to, not now. Not after everything.
"In fact" I breathe out a bitter laugh, shaking my head, "donât ever think of speaking to me again. Because itâs clear now, Matt, we were always better off when we didnât speak. When we just ignored each other. Maybe thatâs what we shouldâve stayed."
My heart is hammering in my chest, my entire body shaking from the adrenaline coursing through me.Â
I turn around and storm into the villa, slamming the door so hard behind me that the walls seem to shake with the force of it. But he doesnât follow. He doesnât even try. Probably heading straight back down to the bar to get exactly what he wants. What heâs always wanted.
My blood is boiling as I march into my room, every step fueled by the sheer rage burning inside me. I feel like a bull, seeing red, ready to destroy everything in my path. But I donât, because I donât have time to waste on any of this anymore.
I grab my phone with trembling fingers, my vision blurring from unshed tears as I unlock it.
 I canât stay here.
I refuse.
I pull up the American Airlines website, my breathing heavy, my chest rising and falling too fast. I donât even hesitate as I search for the first available flight back home.Â
The sooner, the better.
And when I find one, first thing tomorrow morning, I donât even think twice. I press confirm before I can second guess myself, before the pain can catch up with me.
WARNINGS: [ teasing (nothing too serious), cursing, touching,mentions of heaven and hell, suggestive?]
Two worlds, different from each other but somehow intertwined, angels and demons. It has always been this way ever since you could remember, the good and the evil. However, everyone seemed to get along mostly. You had been going to Cloud Academy since you were a little girl. You loved Cloud Academy; its angelic side radiated light and happiness. However, darkness and uneasiness filled the demon side, so everyone stayed on their respective side.
Your life was going well until you reached high school, every single day was torture because of one demon boy in particular, Matt, he had been bullying you for no reason, he would make you cry and run off hiding in the school's corner. Never knowing why he was so mean to you, always teasing you and making you cry all three years of high school. Not anymore, you told yourself as you got ready for your first day of senior year. You did your makeup and flew off to school.Â
Matt loved making you cry. He would trip you with his tail, or make fun of your glowing halo. He didnât understand his dislike for you, yet he found himself drawn to you each time he saw you. Of course, you both had to keep your distance, considering he was a demon, and you were an angel. If you guys were too close for too long, you would feel a slight sting from his darkness fading into you, and you both could only be at a distance.
Lucky for him, every morning when you walked into the doors of school, which were considered the middle of heaven and hell, he could pick on you all he wanted. It was almost like a safe zone where you both could stand in the middle without crossing the small line that separated your two worlds. You would love to fly right past his annoying presence.
It was almost like every morning on your way to your first class he would be waiting for you by the lockers, waiting to tease you, trip you or just glare at you. But today was different. You wouldnât let him get the best of you. It was your first day of senior year and you were determined to put him in his place.
Right as you walked through the front doors, your eyes scanned the hallway looking for Matt lurking somewhere waiting to pounce on you like you were his prey. When your eyes landed on him, he grinned and sauntered toward you. You felt your heartbeat pick up and your eyes widen. âWhy do you look so afraid, angel? You know I would never hurt you,â he taunted as he swung his tail around your waist. You hated when he wrapped his tail around you. It was like he was trying to pull you closer instead of pushing you away.
âL-let go of me,â you squirmed in his grip, watching him grin and lean closer. âWhy should I?,â he teased, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek almost tenderly. âBecause, if you donât Iâll-â he cuts you off, pressing a finger against your lips harshly. âYouâll do what?, sprinkle me with your magical dust.â he laughs, his eyes boring into yours before he unwraps his tail and walks away.Â
You scoffed, your wings fluttering behind you as you tried to gain back your composure. âI hate himâŚâ You trail off, wiping your white dress with your hands before spinning on your heels and walking to class. You knew you had to do something to stop all this teasing and control he had over you, walking down the hallway, you saw a poster for a show and tell. Every year at the start of school, they held some kind of event to prove to the school board that everyone was getting along and making the most of the situation.
This was the perfect opportunity to show everyone the new pet you had gotten for your birthday, your pet rabbit named Thumper. Grabbing the pen and scribbling your name down on the paper, you smiled thinking how everyone would love to see your cute rabbit.
âWhat are you doing?â, you heard a voice ask, your face dropping when you realized who it was. âIâm signing up for the talent show,â you said matter-of-factly, turning around to be faced with none other than Matt once again. âWhat are you going to show everyone how to make flower crowns?â he snickered back, his tail waving behind him.
âNo, Iâm showing them Thumper.â you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest. âWhat does it matter to you anyway?â He raised his eyebrow at you, his eyes lingering on your pouted lips before he quickly averted his gaze.
âThumper?â he questioned, cocking his head to the side. Your shoulders slumped as you sighed. âMy rabbit,â you muttered softly, rolling your eyes. âOh my little angel has a rabbit?â he laughed, his hands clutching his stomach as he laughed. âWhat are you, Bambi?â he teased some more, his horns glowing as he laughed.
âHey!, shut up..â you trailed off kicking his leg with your foot. âOuch!, you little bratâ he hissed his tail wrapping around your wrist, pulling you closer. His breath fanning against your lips, his eyes tracing over your face. Your breath hitched as he ran a finger down your soft skin, grazing your collarbone. âW-what are you doing?,â you mumble feeling a blush spread across your cheeks. He ignored your question, his eyes locked on your body, taking in every inch with overwhelming hunger.
His finger continues its journey down your arm tracing your skin slowly. âYour so fucking annoying,â he mutters under his breath leaning in against the crook of your neck and inhaling you sweet scent. âSo fucking annoying,â he repeated before meeting your gaze once more then he turned around and walked away.
âSee you later angel,â you watched as he walked away, his touch still lingering on your skin, you felt your heart flutter. âWhat was that?,â you whisper to yourself, looking down to hide the small smile creeping up on your lips.Â
WARNINGS: [sub matt, soft dom reader, p in v, unprotected (no no), use of, sweet boy, baby,]
not proofread - wc: 425
more here
You and Matt were lying in his bed, the soft duvet, covering you both in each other's embrace. Matt had been sleepy and sluggish lately, more than usual, which made you slightly worried that he wasn't getting enough sleep. Even though he slept more than the average person, you loved your sleepy boyfriend.
Always cuddling and taking naps together, watching him sleep and tracing soothing circles on his back. He always clung to you even in his sleep, soft whimpers falling from his pouty lips as his eyes fluttered open. "Baby..." he whines softly as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, this stubble on his face prickling your skin. âWhatâs wrong sweet boy?,â you questioned holding him closer as you pressed kisses on his temples.
He squirmed his obvious bulge, rubbing against your thigh as you let out a soft groan, he was only in his boxers and your warmth was making him extremely needy. âN-need youâŚâ He trails off his hands, resting lazily on your hips. You chuckle as you cover your hands over his, pressing further against him. âMy sleepy baby,â you coo, tilting his head and seeing his pouty lips and half-lidded eyes.
He presses his lips together searching for yours as he lets out a soft whine, giving you a soft peck. âOf course, you want me to do all the work,â you tease, slipping your tongue past his plump lips and kissing him slowly. He loved your touch, the way you made him feel so at peace and the way you took control.
Matt was right where you wanted him sitting down at the top of his bed, head leaned back against the headboard as soft moans left his pretty lips. âYou like this?,â you asked him, leaning down to kiss over his collar bone. You moved against him slowly, taking every inch of his length, his hands holding you in place. âF-Faster,â he sputters out his hands resting on your thighs to keep you in place.
Seeing him all worked up for you did wonders, you quickened your pace as your hands lay flat on his chest. âMatt⌠you're filling me so well,â you praise him leaning down to kiss his reddened cheeks. All you got from him was whines and gasps as you continued riding his cock, your lips leaving wet kisses across his skin. You giggle, your fingers tugging lightly on the silver chain around his neck. âWe're gonna be here for a while, huh?â you whisper in his ear, earning a moan in response.
You treasured Sunday mornings most, the sun painting golden shadows through your shared blinds as Matt softly snored, and you snuggled against his chest. These were mornings you grew to love, your eyes watching as the door would crack open, a small head peeking through the doorway; you would cover your mouth, hiding the giggles erupting from your lips.
The pitter-patter of Willaâs tiny feet tiptoed into the room, trying to be quiet and not wake up her father, but failing when he would grumble awake. âWhat did I say about sneaking into Daddyâs room in the morning?â his voice was laced with sleep as he leaned his head off the soft pillows, rubbing his eyes.
You would sit up watching the girl make her way onto the bed and squeeze between the both of you, her arms wrapping around Matt as she snuggled close to him. âMorning princess,â he would mumble, sitting up and wrapping his arms around her tiny frame, to which she would cling to him as if her life depended on it.
He would then lean over and press a soft kiss to your lips, smiling as you both saw Willa looking at you with wide eyes, hiding her face in Mattâs chest to hide her laughter.
The morning would unfold as you both lay in bed for at least another hour, Mattâs arms wrapped around you as he stroked your hair, and you would smile down at Willa as she let out soft snores. âWe should get up,â he would whisper, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as he broke the warm embrace first, as he always did. It wasnât like he wanted to, but he was always an early riser.
Willa would stretch, waking from her slumber once again, pouting and batting her eyes at him, pleading for more cuddle time. He would chuckle and dismiss her tactics, getting out of bed and ready for the day.
You would all three go through your morning routines brushing your hair in your shared bathroom, hearing Willaâs whine as Matt worked the brush through her tangled hair, putting it in a small braid just how she liked. âThanks, Daddy,â she would squeal, kissing him on the cheek as he picked her up from the counter, chuckling as she ran back towards the bedroom and jumped on the mattress.
His arms would wrap around you, hugging you from behind as he rested his chin on your shoulder, admiring as you applied your makeup in the mirror. âYouâre beautiful,â he would whisper, tilting his head to the side and placing kisses on the side of your neck. âThank you, baby,â youâd reply, moving your head to place a kiss on his forehead, your glossy lip gloss leaving a sticky mark.
Waking in a cold sweat, your hands would reach for their warmthâbut your bed would be empty. You had started having these dreams only recently. Between studying for your midterms for law school and eating Chinese takeout in your dorm room, you got little to no sleep. However, these vivid images always danced in your mind whenever they got the chance when you had found yourself plopping into bed after a long day or dozing off at your desk.
The thing was you didnât have a husband or a daughter, and you didnât know these people or anyone with those names, but something about them felt familiar, almost like you were meant to be there. It was strange, to say the least; in these dreams, you would either be waking up and starting your day with this man and his daughter, or you would be doing something such as coloring with the girl or cuddling with him.
You almost felt this longing, yearning feeling when you woke up, missing the husband and daughter you never had. It tugged at your heartstrings; you didnât know why you were having these dreams or what they meant. You would love to call your mother and talk about them with her and ask for any sort of advice only a mother could give, but you werenât on speaking terms with her as of recently.
It all started during the evening of a long-awaited and dreaded family dinner, your whole family: brothers, sisters, and mom and dad. Your mother had mentioned you quitting law school for some odd reason, and you lost it; she never supported your dreams or aspirations, always wanting more or bringing up the topic of grandchildren.
You were sick of it, wanting to have your life together before even thinking of bringing kids into the mess. Your mother, of course, was a persistent woman and would try and set you up with the various snobby sons of her friends, only for you to have to sit with a boring, self-centered nobody for half an hour. Listening to him go on and on about the various sports cars he owned or how he was inheriting his fatherâs company.
You didnât want your marriage to be a business transaction; you wanted something real, and maybe you were asking for too much, but so be it. The relationship with your father was the complete opposite; you felt as if he was the only one who truly listened to you and saw you. But you couldnât worry him with your weird dreams, not when he had so much going on in his own life, not when he was sick.
You couldnât be a burden during this time; all you told him was the good things going on in your life, which you sometimes would exaggerate. Figuring if it made him happy, so were you; your mother, however, could see right through your little fibs and would always try and poke around for more information to later hold against you. The visits were always cut short as she would start trying to control little aspects of your life; you were a grown adult, and thankfully you could finally walk away when she started scolding you.
The tension in the room would be unbearable, and you would have to say your goodbyes and leave, your mother always acting like the victim did nothing to de-escalate the situation.
Your mind was fuzzy as you drank your morning coffee walking to class. Every morning you made yourself a cheap cup of coffee; you were a college student, and nothing came cheap. The library wasnât a far walk from your dorm, and this is where you spent most of your time studying and catching up on homework.
Today you had to analyze three case studies and then write a piece on each one. Ever since you were a young girl, you always had a knack for arguing and defending people like your life depended on it. You found yourself on the debate team in high school before your mom forced you out of the class.
She didnât think it was very feminine to argue with people; it shattered your heart when she didnât support you or the fact that you wanted to be a lawyer. You never truly knew what she wanted you to do, maybe be more like her or your sisters. Walking into the library, you were met with the familiar sense of vanilla and apple wood; it was calming and quiet, just how you liked it.
This library was a lot better than the one on campus; it was a lot smaller and cozier. That when you saw them, the man and little girl from your dreams at the checkout desk, the little girl bouncing on her toes as she waited for the librarian to scan her book.
You looked them over, thinking maybe you were still dreaming, but no, it was them; their faces were the same, but it couldnât be that people from your dreams weren't real.
That was until you heard their names, as the librarian gave the little girl the book and smiled at her. âI think youâll like this book, Willa,â she says, smiling as she looks back at the man. âSee you next time, Matt,â she says, waving at them both as they turn to walk away.
this is part of my weeping willows series | intro | proofread by Sofia
GENERAL WARNINGS FOR THIS SERIES: [mentions of fire, death, past trauma, more might be added]
Outside, the wind softly stirred Chrisâs blonde hair. He observed the angry red-orange stripes swirling in the wind, their soft crackles and snaps echoing through the still night. His blue eyes mirrored the flames, as if an inner fire burned within him, tears welling and streaming down his face.
He could feel the heat of the fire prickling his skin, he was standing too close for comfort. The fire threatened to completely consume him. Chris sat a few feet from his front yard, further into the field; the next day, a putrid smell lingered around him as his stuffed bear perched in his lap.
The fire had calmed down; his house burned to ash, and the entire foundation fell like dominos. He hadnât realized the girl was sitting beside him, but she was there the whole time, lingering and watching the scene unfold. With a little wriggle, she relaxed against him, her white dress wet with dew, legs stretched out. Wet grass clung to her knees; barefoot, she wiggled her toes in front of her. âWhat are you doing?â she asked, looking over at him as she tilted her head in confusion.
Chris sniffled, looking up from his fingers that were fidgeting with his stuffed bear, his tear-stained cheeks and eyes red from crying. His blue eyes bore into her. It was almost like he was searching for something that wasnât there; when he looked at her, he saw nothing.
The mystery of the strange girl intrigued most, but Chris, being young and upset, didnât dwell on it. He squirmed closer, resting his head against her shoulder as it was something he did daily. She, of course, let him sit there like they were old friends as more tears fell down his face. âItâs okay, you have me now,â she whispered into his ear, her cold breath fanning over his skin.
He nestled closer, seeking warmth and comfort, but all he got in return was a strange feeling of coldness. He would soon have to learn to accept.
The next morning, he woke up in his warm bed, his stuffed bear securely tucked under his arm as his eyes fluttered open. He stirred out of bed; his feet landed on the cold wooden floor. He rubbed his tired eyes as he stood up, taking in his surroundings.
His bear held tightly in his small hand, the room seemed fairly normal except for the fact it wasnât familiar at all. The wallpaper on his walls had strips peeling, revealing the white paint underneath. His curtains had frayed at the ends, not like they were before. Matter of fact, nothing was how it was before; his room smelled of soot, not the vanilla scent it usually smelled like.
He closed his eyes for a moment, scared that this was his reality now until he heard the soft patter of footsteps down the hallway. He slowly opened his eyes and saw you standing in his bedroom doorway with your arms crossed. âHey sleepyhead, are you going to eat breakfast?â you chirped, watching as his eyes scanned over the room once again, taking in the surroundings.
His walls were back to normal; the wallpaper stuck to the walls was filled with images of deer. His curtains were normal as well, and the smell was back to the same. The vanilla scent, the smell that reminded him of his mother. He nods, standing up and taking his small hand in yours; you both walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, where his senses are filled with the smell of pancakes and bacon just like his mom would make him. âWhere are my parents?â he asks, sitting across from you as he watches you play with your food, the noise of your metal fork scraping against the glass plate. âDo you want more orange juice?â you ask, picking up the pitcher and jumping down from your chair, filling his glass before he can even answer.
His small hand wraps around the glass, ignoring the fact you didnât answer his question as he drinks the orange juice, the bitterness stings his tongue. The orange juice his mom would serve him every morning at breakfast time never tasted like this. He quickly set the drink down back on the table, watching as the glass shook; he looked down at the table leg, noticing it was slightly wobbly. âDonât worry about that,â your voice echoed through his ears, sending shivers down his spine, his eyes darting back towards you, noticing how you have yet to take a single bite of your food.
He looked down at his plate, seeing how bright and colorful his food looked compared to yours, the bacon perfectly crisped and the butter on the pancakes melting far too slowly. âGo ahead, take a bite,â you urged, smiling at him as you motioned him to eat his food. He looked up at you, making a weird face before his fork fell from his hand, making a âdingâ sound as it hit the edge of his plate; he didnât know why things felt so strange all of a sudden. âNot hungry,â he muttered, furrowing his eyebrows as he clutched his bear to his chest.
You nod your head, still holding your fork, as you continue playing with your food, the fork stabbing into the soft flesh of your dull-looking pancakes and soggy bacon. âMaybe we should play?â you suggest, setting your fork down and jumping out of your chair, darting out of the kitchen.
Your laughter echoed through the house, Chrisâs eyes widened as he slipped out of his chair and ran after you, his bear clutched in his tiny hand. âHey! Where are you going?â he shouts, hearing the patter of your feet run up the staircase towards his bedroom. He follows after you, but you seem to get further away the closer he gets as if some kind of magnetic force is pulling him away from you. âWait for me!â he shouts, trying to move his small legs faster to catch up with you.
All he hears is laughter, you round the corner of the hallway right where his bedroom is. He stops right outside his bedroom door; he feels the smallest heâs ever felt as if the closed door is looming over his small frame. He reaches his hand to knock on the door. âOpen up!â he shouts, getting scared while the hallway seems to be getting darker by the second and more menacing.
His small hands clenched into fists as he started pounding on the door feverishly, his bear falling from his grip he started crying surely his flesh would be filled with wood splitters. One last pound on the door and it slowly creaks open, a golden light seeping into the hallway, he moves his hands to his face, rubbing his reddened eyes; he grabs his bear and slowly steps into the room.
His feet suddenly feel wet; looking down, he sees wet footprints on the wooden floor. âHello?â He questions in a whisper before he steps further into his room, the light from the golden fairy lights shining against his pale skin, hanging from his walls he was sure werenât there before. Then in the corner of the room, he sees a small fort made of blankets, a faint sound of laughter coming from the fort while he crawls towards it.
Moving the blanket with his hand he sees you sitting cross-legged, snacks surrounding you and stuffed animals. âWhat took you so long?â he hears you ask as you to smile at him, watching him sit in front of you and grab a cookie from the plate, crumbs falling from his mouth. âYou were too fast,â he grumbles, squirming to get comfortable in the small space. âMaybe you were too slow,â you replied, sliding him over a tall glass of milk to go with his cookies.
âEat up, we have a big day tomorrow,â you say, ruffling his blonde hair with a giggle and sitting back down, reaching from behind you and grabbing a storybook. He squirms to sit beside you while you open the book and begin reading the story; your voice is soft, but there is a hint of something he canât quite describe. He rests his head in your lap seeking comfort, but all he feels is coldness. Instantly he feels a blanket wrapping around him, keeping him warm despite the frigid temperature radiating from your body.