Thaatonegirl @softballbratt1 - Tumblr Blog

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Today, I fucked up... by laughing at my son's penis

Let me first start off by saying that my son’s penis is perfectly normal. There is nothing wrong with it, and it is a normal size…or at least I think so for a toddler.

Anyways, this FU began as I was getting my son ready for nap time. He’s just starting to get into potty training and we encourage him to try before he takes his nap.

Well some kids get a little silly when they’re tired, and my son is one of them. So he sits on his porcelain throne and is just generally wiggling around as toddlers do. I remind him to “tuck in your penis” so it’s pointing down into the bowl. Just as he starts poking it down he starts getting a baby boner.

Now if you’re not a parent you might not realize, but toddlers get boners just like guys do every once and awhile, and if you ignore them they usually go away in a few minutes. Well this time he wasn’t ignoring it. He sat hunched over and realized for the first time that he could move his penis without touching it.

He started jerking it up and down with his muscles and giggling with delight. As a parent you have to keep a straight face in these situations, because if you crack a smile and start laughing…he’ll think it’s hilarious and you’ll have a repeat performance every chance he gets.

I couldn’t do it though, it was just too funny. I started laughing, and my laughing made him laugh even more. And then it happened. He started peeing. But he had never poked it down, his penis was in the wind. And with his baby boner still intact it was like a water pistol just spraying. He soaked me and half the bathroom, and when I tried to push it down it just popped back up again.

He’s sleeping now, the bathroom is cleaned, I’ve taken a shower…and I really hope he doesn’t remember this next time he goes to the bathroom. Because he thought it was hilarious.

TL;DR Laughed at baby boner…it turned into a super soaker.

zackisontumblr

… probably not. [X]

flickerlester-deactivated201702

10/10 would recommend

shouldnt

Holy lord this is the best one I have seen yet

shimmerangels-deactivated201804

i can’t stop watching this like they could play this at a club and i’d get so hyped up i’d lose my shit

donidarkowitz

PSA for Skinny Girls.

mattjosephdiaz-blog

Quick reminder that you’re totally allowed to like things without diving completely into knowing everything about them

you like 2 or 3 songs by a band and never listened to more? that’s perfectly okay

you like the Marvel movies but have no interest in reading 50 years of comic books? totally fine

you only play one or two videos games, mostly on your cell phone? they’re fun!

you read and enjoyed the Harry Potter books but don’t care about looking into crazy theories and clues planted in the stories? It’s not for everyone!

You don’t need to meet a requirement to enjoy something and anyone who claims you do is an elitist and an asshole

yuricema-deactivated20230814

solangeinaroomfullofbeyonces

Oh my god they are so cute and his suit is just 👌🏾

wild-eyedsoutherngirl

minacoladas

I love this post so much

shrmptst

my hand slipped

elasmata

with their new hit song, “Randomly Searching 4 U”

sodomquake-deactivated20140715

I am re-reblogging just because that was so good

wolvensnothere

I think this one’s an Always Reblog, because the picture, the illustration, and the song title are just too damn perfect together.

cursewordsandcaffeine-deactivat

***DO NOT BUY BODY JEWELRY AT HOT TOPIC***

Their body jewelry is poorly cut and is known to have jagged edges that will hurt you. They are known for using poor quality metal, and often their metal alloys contain lead. Worst of all, their jewelry is not properly sanitized and is known to cause infections.

A lot of professional piercers warn their clients against buying body jewelry from Hot Topic. This is a warning for everyone who was not told that. Please spread this.

amoisthobo

White people 😒

sewerratmac-blog

lmaaaaaooooooo

trevaa-deactivated20181214

Hahaha

followthelostislander-deactivat

😭😂😭😂 I lost it at the failed shove

rob-walks-deactivated20210614

LMFAO

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”