When I was in college, I met a group of guys that I became friends with. Most of us came from good areas, decent homes, and we obviously had all been given the chance to further our education, which we all completed. Most of us were born into families that gave us more than enough means to succeed. As far as I could tell, we were all quite privileged.
As a side note, to give an idea of what these guys were like, I hung out with them enough that I learned what they thought of themselves, each other, and other people, especially girls. I would hear the way these guys talked about and judged the girls they knew or girls they’d just see in passing and sometimes the things they’d say were just outright disgusting. And to them, this was the norm, this is how guys talk about girls when they’re with their guy friends they would tell me. If they said something to me I didn’t appreciate and I expressed my disapproval, they’d tell me it’s just a joke or they didn’t mean it, that I needed to stop being so serious and lighten up. They weren’t exactly respectful to their male counterparts either and usually they didn’t talk highly about each other, but let me tell you, they sure had good things to say about themselves.
So to make a long story short, the other day when I was in the car with my brother, I saw a white Tesla in the lane next to us. Of course I was curious to see who was the proud owner of the car so I looked to see who was driving it. A white, middle-aged, and more likely than not, privileged male. I wasn’t surprised (note that we were driving in one of the richer areas of town where the median income is approximately $90,000, and some of the surrounding areas are even richer). So I made the jolly decision to post about it on Twitter, saying that I wasn’t surprised when I saw a Tesla being driven by a white, middle-aged, privileged male.
Now, I’ve posted plenty of other things on Twitter, some things a lot more meaningful than this, though these posts aren’t paid much heed. I believed posting my thought’s about the Tesla on Twitter might exhume some of the unrealized privilege, particularly in my area, that is taken for granted on a daily basis. However, to understand the point I was trying to make through the post, the concept of privilege must also be understood.
Well, low and behold, not even ten minutes later, on of the guys from school commented on the post asking how I know the driver was middle aged and privileged. I simply replied that I saw the driver. His retorted “because he has a nice car he’s assumed to be privileged?”
Before I go further, let me make it clear that I have nothing against having and working for nice things or being given nice things. We all have luxuries and necessities we’re willing to work for and want to have. I’m sure the gentleman with the Tesla works hard at his job, otherwise he wouldn’t necessarily be driving one. But as a white male living in the area he does, he has probably been given more opportunity to succeed throughout his life and career, which has helped him to get to the job he is currently working that allows him to afford his Tesla. Whew! That was my thought process at least. It is possible to be privileged and work hard. I had the privilege to go to college but that doesn’t mean I didn’t work hard from my degree.
My friend continued on and said “Like, do you know him personally?”
No, I do not. Yes, for all I know maybe that gentleman started out at the bottom rung and worked his way up all on his own, but around here that’s not likely. However, I accept that I could be wrong. I also understand that some people have to scrape money together and save up for years to afford something nice. It’s possible this was his case, but again, I think unlikely. Yes, my post was based off of assumptions, and yes, judgment. I do not know him personally, so I may be wrong. However, my friend does not know him personally either, so how can he say I am wrong?
What really gets me the most about the whole situation is this: to my guy friends, there’s just no way my reasoning could be correct. It had to be anything but that. Had I posted something about the way a lady was driving crazy for instance, they probably would have passed right over it. Had I said something about someone’s clothing, no comments would have been made. But calling a white man driving an expensive car privileged? Suddenly, I’ve just overstepped my boundaries. That’s the word that got my friend so upset. I, a female, called a white male privileged. How dare I assume such a thing. The last comment I left on the string was a video explaining privilege, which I doubt they watched since the comments continued. I messaged my friend explaining I don’t do the whole “back and forth” arguing on social media, and if he cares that much about this to discuss it with me in person. I haven’t received a reply yet.
So why post about the Tesla? What about all of these other ritzy or high-end sports cars I see being driven on the roads? For one, it was my first time seeing a Tesla. Also, it hasn’t been until recently (and I know social media plays a role in this) that I’ve been paying more attention to the concept of privilege. I suppose timing is the answer. And no, I will not be posting every time I see a new car I’ve never seen before.
I am NOT by ANY means saying it’s a terrible thing he was driving a Tesla or that he’s a middle-aged, white male. My goal was not to attack him. He’s probably been achieving his lifetime goals, which is great for him! I am also NOT saying all white males are automatically born with more privilege than anyone else. All things aside, I think we can agree things are achieved more easily when the cards are dealt in one’s favor, and that goes for anyone.
All of this got me thinking, and it’s a sad reality that we live in a society where all too often privilege takes precedent and it’s harder for those who have so much to realize there are those with significantly less. I understand people cannot help the families or circumstances they are born into but there is no reason to make it so hard for those more disadvantaged to succeed or live their lives.
Now, I’m curious to know your thoughts on privilege. Maybe you believe it doesn’t exist or maybe you are well aware of it’s existence. Maybe you have a story? I’m curious to know!
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