[solar-chiton-public-relations]

God I can't believe I'm asking the XENOS of all things for help... So, I am currently stuck midway through the warp, and things are- ___________w-___ ++HEAVY TRANSMISSION INTERFERENCE DETECTED++ ++RE-ATTEMPTING CONTACT++ ++CONTACT ACHIEVED++ ++<RELAYING MESSAGE>++ -eird here... everything looks like an ancient terran construct, and it just goes on and on an- ____on and o-___!!! I am currently in isle 877720, floor -92. Send a LOT of help, there's daemons here.

-+TRANSMISSION START+-

Oh dear, I come back from vacation and I come back to this.

Yes, I believe that it could be possible to spare a team of…. Pardon me, checking lists of Warp-Sensitives… Two renegade Astartes and a half dozen guardsmen?

Ur… Help may be on the way, assuming that the higher ups sign off on this.

—TRANSMISSION_END—-

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Oi! Yew lot wif da big stomaz! Oyz got one question for yewz. Me ladz an I know yew lot got a lot of dat der flashy plazma dakka, but yew got anyfing wiff a bit more kik tew it?

From @da-meks-workshop

++Transmission Start++

KZZZZCCCHTT

Right, so this would be more of a question for a quartermaster, but if you know who to talk to or where to salvage, it is definitely worth it. I’ve seen people strapping Astartes Assault Cannons onto Devilfish or attaching anti-grav repulsors onto them so they can wield the guns in standard combat.

The T’au don’t have a lot of weapons that can cause mortal wounds, but we have access to resources that allow us to get our hands on them. If you are looking for Big, Flashy, and Loud, we’ve got microbombs. They are typically dropped from bombers, but I am 60-87% sure that I saw some humans firing them out of a cannon like grapeshot.

Anyway, I hope that answered your questions! (I’m pretty sure it did. Not totally sure. My Orkish isn’t great.)

Anyway, see you later, space cowboy.

++Transmission End++

[da-meks-workshop]

There is a muttering on the dead line as the Big Mek adds the Tau to “Maybe Raid Later”

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Oi! Yew lot wif da big stomaz! Oyz got one question for yewz. Me ladz an I know yew lot got a lot of dat der flashy plazma dakka, but yew got anyfing wiff a bit more kik tew it?

From @da-meks-workshop

++Transmission Start++

KZZZZCCCHTT

Right, so this would be more of a question for a quartermaster, but if you know who to talk to or where to salvage, it is definitely worth it. I’ve seen people strapping Astartes Assault Cannons onto Devilfish or attaching anti-grav repulsors onto them so they can wield the guns in standard combat.

The T’au don’t have a lot of weapons that can cause mortal wounds, but we have access to resources that allow us to get our hands on them. If you are looking for Big, Flashy, and Loud, we’ve got microbombs. They are typically dropped from bombers, but I am 60-87% sure that I saw some humans firing them out of a cannon like grapeshot.

Anyway, I hope that answered your questions! (I’m pretty sure it did. Not totally sure. My Orkish isn’t great.)

Anyway, see you later, space cowboy.

++Transmission End++

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Right, I’m saying this out of character again (should probably get back in character soon) but I noticed some neat junk on Steam.

Warhammer Gladius is 100% off for the next few days, and Boltgun is $7.25 for the next few days as well.

Let’s go, gamers.

[adkaidd]

Tau Empire Shitposts: Pathfinders

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Sketch of the Belt Fed Gauss Reaper Unit along with Model it is based on.

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

*Heavy Weapons Noises Intensify*

[moociao-after-dark]

I bet r/Tau40k are sick of me by this point (T'AUGENDA!!!)

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Sketch of the Belt Fed Gauss Reaper Unit along with Model it is based on.

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Out Of Character thing.

I sent some ideas and designs for characters to a friend, and they said that what they were pretty sure I was envisioning were the Stabbington brothers if they were children of Heavy TF2.

It somehow summarised perfectly what I was thinking of while also sucker punching me through text.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to get you guys some art of the Chain Fed Gauss Reapers.

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

My Shas'o is too FAT to fit in his XV8-Coldstar Battlesuit what do we DO!!? He ATE the Ethereal! WE ARE GUIDLESS! WE HAVE NO LEADER!! WE CAN STILL HEAR THE AUN'VRE!!! HE IS STILL ALIVE IN THERE! HE HAS NOT DIED! WHAT DO WE DO!?!??!

KZZZCHCCHCHT

How, BY THE LIGHT OF THE ETHEREAL GLORIFYING TAUVA, did he do that?

I think that as of right now, you have only one option. Cut open the Shas’O and take the ethereal to the medbay.

I am sorry for the barbaric solution, but the Shas’O must die to free the Aun’vre.

Also, that commander doesn’t sound entirely…T’au, as no T’au (to my knowledge) can do that. So you’d probably get some thanks from the 4th Expansion folks.

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Hello, it is I, Not an inquisition agent. What is your location for... not inquisitive... reasons...

*KZZZZZSHHHHHZZZTCH*

Current coordinates are…unknown. Wait, seriously? Hold for a mo.

What do you mean? I can see a planet out there. Which planet is that?

Them out there are Tau ships, so we’re in Tau space.

Yes, no duh, but where the kark are we?

Beat me with a hammer if I know.

Rus damn it. I’ll ask one of the crews coming aboard. Oh, fraggin hell, I didn’t mute the comms.

Yes, we…are….Somewhere in the galaxy! On this side of the Rift! In all honesty, I probably shouldn’t tell you, given that T’auXHuman negotiations aren’t going all that well. Don’t want to be responsible for the whole space station getting bombed and all that.

Engie out!

*KZZZZZZCHCHCHCHCHTTTT*

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

*KZZZZCCCHTTTZZ*

Salutations, space peoples! I am somewhat frazzled by the move, but I shall attempt to resume regular transmissions and random updates!

For example, due to hybridization of Necron and outdated Tau technology, we have outfitted a number of Necrons with heavier armour and a few with belt-fed gauss cannons.

On an unrelated note, three corridors and five rooms on the eastern side of the Man’o’war are undergoing maintenance for large perforations and tears in the walls. My apologies to Magos Gamma-Three-Dash-Ten for the unscheduled Star gazing session and space walk. To those concerned, the magos will likely be out of the medical facilities within the month.

I missed doing fun updates. I’ll try to do them more regularly. So for now, see you later, space cowboys.

[galactic-core-trade-guild]

This is to give the reader an insight into the characters that make up the guild. There is also a list of those that have made it into the book of grudges that will be updated as new grudges come to light.

CURRENT CHARACTERS:

Bane- The esteemed guildmaster of the GCTG.

Oleg- The guild Brümaster. Known for using unorthodox methods for new flavors ("improvements") for brü

Book of grudges:

1. The Bane (Tyranids): for the mad core

2. Trazyn: HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID

3. Ork klan Blood Axes: Do NOT trust their promises

4. Alexander @depressedperpetual: Forgiven due to continuous generous donations

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

They bombed you?? For what crime?!

Needless, I believe. Have you need of shelter, of weaponry, of anything, Tenebrarum always has space for those I call close.

Wishing you lot a quick recovery in your newfound disturbance.

-@odakhar-the-shrouded

You know the Imperium. Mere existence is enough to warrant total planetary destruction.

Thank you for your kind offer and words, but I do believe we shall be fine.

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Oh, a t'au outpost. Adorable. How does it go down there, dear mortals? Have you raised new statues, found new things in your mines? Had any notable visitors? It's a safe space, do feel free to boast to your hearts content.

- @thaszar-the-invincible

Welp, we had to very quickly relocate because apparently we were corrupting the good Imperial citizens, which was a crime apparently.

Thankfully we were able to evacuate almost everything before the exterminator bomb thingy was dropped, but the Imperial loyalists chose not to go with the “Filthy Xenos” and were liquidated.

Anyway, now we’re on a space station with a good bit of Necrons that we smuggled out, and a few dozen humans. So…yay.

[thaszar-the-invincible]

Oh.

Oh, that's damned unfortunate.

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

*ssschttzztTTThat’s for sure. On the bright side, during our evacuation, we were able to haul out some Necron tech with us. From what I heard, the boys at the labs are trying to figure out how gauss weapons work. I know I overheard something about “chain fed gauss cannons”.

*SCHZZZZZTTTZZT*

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Oh, a t'au outpost. Adorable. How does it go down there, dear mortals? Have you raised new statues, found new things in your mines? Had any notable visitors? It's a safe space, do feel free to boast to your hearts content.

- @thaszar-the-invincible

Welp, we had to very quickly relocate because apparently we were corrupting the good Imperial citizens, which was a crime apparently.

Thankfully we were able to evacuate almost everything before the exterminator bomb thingy was dropped, but the Imperial loyalists chose not to go with the “Filthy Xenos” and were liquidated.

Anyway, now we’re on a space station with a good bit of Necrons that we smuggled out, and a few dozen humans. So…yay.

[solar-chiton-public-relations]

Proved YOU wrong. I shit myself in active combat and I'm still here 😌 My shas'o even wiped my ass

*SHKZKTKTCHCHTZZ*

Sorry for the poor reception. On a space station now.

Anyway…

I’m really gonna hope that the transmission was messed with and I didn’t read what I think I read.

*KSZHZHZCCHCZZZT*