Archaeologist At Work

My name is Pharaoh Man. I was made by Doctor Cossack for archaeological work, formerly only pyramid exploration. Since I am often at work in far places, I feel this would be a good way to communicate with my siblings... (AMR rp account)

[solararchaeologist]

nyan

[solararchaeologist]

How important is honesty to you?

I will be honest. But I am not...what is it? Married to idea.

[solararchaeologist]

So which mummy do you belong to?

I feel you have large misconception on how Egyptian hierarchy works.

Also, I am Russian.

[ahandsomewatertank]

Have we met before cause you got that right, hey if you’re a Russian robot then ya related to the detective guy?

[solararchaeologist]

No. It is called deducting conclusion from what information I have. It is not necessary to have had prior contact to see that.

I am brother of Ring, yes. If that is what you mean by ‘detective guy’.

[solararchaeologist]

So which mummy do you belong to?

I feel you have large misconception on how Egyptian hierarchy works.

Also, I am Russian.

[solararchaeologist]

...What did I miss...?

[snakedwn022-blog]

(A Butt Whooping) From Russia With Love

[russkiy-dustbuster-blog]

Poor Dust was still valiantly prying snakes off to and fro when he suddenly realized that the one he was gripping tight was not trying to get away from him as he thought it was. No, that was Dive picking Toad right up off the ground, and Dust was left dangling for a moment. “Yeeeagh!” The weight did that search snake in at the middle, though, and Dust landed right on his rear with a loud clunk. He was still mindful enough to inhale the broken snake and compact it to tiny bits as he rubbed at his hip and got back up to his feet to (attempt to) posture threateningly beside his brothers. The all-too-ready mention of something as outright messy and violent as dismemberment was rather distressing, as was the persistent threat that he’d just come back latched onto it, and Dust made a face at the particularly persistent tone of the implication. He was honestly glad Pharaoh had such a calm command to his voice to counter the Wilybot, and he was eagerly ready to agree with the plan of giving the snake a brisk swimming lesson as far down as Dive could go. But then, Toad had a rather different idea. “Change his programming…?” He looked over, then thought it out, tapping his finger to his cheek then gesturing to Snake, “He is right, isn’t he? He will come back and try to hurt us again, he even says so. Maybe even before we change security!” His thoughts first and foremost were the safety of his brothers and home, and the mere fact that Snake had gotten in so easily this time was certainly alarming.

[divemissile]

“We shall see if he has been waterproofed since his little accident at the party.” Dive grinned nastily at Snake. It was mostly for intimidation purposes, but taking the Wily ‘bot for a little swim technically didn’t count as “thrashing him”… it wasn’t Dive’s fault the serpent couldn’t handle water, after all.

Didn’t matter anyway, because Toad’s suggestion was a lot better. It was like Snake said - they could destroy his body any way they wanted, but in the end he’d just be rebuilt and back to his usual tricks in no time. “What kind of re-purposing did you have in mind, brother?” he said, lifting Toad to let him sit on his shoulder now that the threat had been nullified. “A robot able to get into any nook and cranny… he would make a good cleaning robot, heh heh.”

[snakedwn022-blog]

Oh this was getting embarrassing, being held like a young pup and given a shake for being bad. “Please just end this already– OW!” Snake hisses in pain as Pharaoh feels the need to twist his already hurting arm. He gives him a nasty glare and tries struggling once more. Oh fun, a swim! And here he had gotten all sealed up thanks to Toad.

Wait, speaking of… “What?” His eyes now on the smallest bot. “You can’t be serious. No just, just off me like you’re good at. There’s no reason to bring Light in on this!” Dad number two, he hadn’t seen him in ages. And wanted to keep it that way.

[solararchaeologist]

Pharaoh is pretty sure that there’s something unethical involved in this discussion, but since they’re dealing with a Wilybot trespasser who tried to kidnap one of his precious brothers, he’s not sure he can bring himself to care.

“I am sure Light will not completely change you,” he says dryly, holding Snake up. At least he’s not wrenching the Wily bot’s arm again, which is a small mercy. “But he will probably want to at least talk to a robot he had a hand in building.”

[solararchaeologist]

Not sure why you two continue to speak with Wily-made robots, but if it amuses you sufficiently, who am I to argue.

[solararchaeologist]

Do you like your armor design? Would you change anything about it? How about your siblings' designs?

It fits my given designation and is specialised to help me perform my job with utmost efficiency. I cannot say I have any complaints or improvements. Though I would like it if people stopped telling me Halloween was not here yet, but that is not an armor problem, that is a person problem.

My siblings’ designs are fine as is. They fit their jobs and keep them safe. There is nothing more to be said there.

[snakedwn022-blog]

(A Butt Whooping) From Russia With Love

[russkiy-dustbuster-blog]

Another snake down and several battered, crumpled, pathetic remnants of its brethren that had met the slightly more destructively capable Cossack brother were already downed and dealt with, but if that snake of a Wilybot didn’t have a lot of them still! Where’d he keep all these nasty little things!? Dust was inhaling them with unbridled zeal, nonetheless, totally undaunted by his more domestic purpose in the effort to protect his brother.

Until, however, he heard his brother scream. With an almost dizzying and not-entirely-aimed whirl, Dust spun about on his heel to face Toad. “Отстань от него!” He ordered, although, the snakes probably weren’t of the mindset for verbal negotiations. One of them was easily smashed flat by a good and thorough stomping by his brother’s powerful legs and feet, but there was a nasty little squirmer on his hand still that needed dealing with, and Toad was in a bit of a panic. He left the greater pursuit of Snake to Pharaoh for now and reached right to grab the search snake by the middle. “I’ve got it, брат!! Do not worry, hold still!” He pulled and pried to work it off while reaching to try and hold Toad’s arm with the other hand. The sooner, the better, and it could join all its little friends in his compacting unit!

[divemissile]

Oh thank maker, they’d managed to separate Toad from Snake without causing their brother harm. But it looked like their troubles weren’t over yet - not if the multitudes of Search Snakes had anything to say about it. Confident that Pharaoh could deal with Snake, Dive turned his attention to his tiny brother.

Instead of attempting to pry the snakes off like Dust was doing, he opted to just pluck Toad right off the ground and hold him in his burly arms. 

“Ha! Victory is ours, DWN!” he gloated, apparently failing to realise Dust was still in the middle of attempted Search Snake removal. Instead his sights were set on Snake himself, grinning nastily from periscope handle to periscope handle as Pharaoh dealt with him. “There is no escape for you now. You should have stayed on your puny island.”

[snakedwn022-blog]

Bright lights throwing off his sensors, camera and data feeds suddenly blacking out as Search Snakes met their demise. Now he finds himself on the floor with back and buster arm in severe pain. He was losing bad. That’s okay, he planned or this! Still didn’t stop it all from hurting. He attempts a swiped at Pharaoh’s legs in return before making a scramble backwards.

Right against the wall.

‘Shit!’ He clawed at the wall against his back, never moving his eyes from the threat before him. That damned smug grin on Dive, ugh! “Laugh it up tubs! I still got in! I got past your defenses!” Snake sneers back, even with panic evident in his eyes. “And go ahead, thrash me. Tear me to bits- I bet the old programming lingers, bet it’d feel better than it should for you goody bots! I’ll just wake up in a new body, fresh and ready to try again!” 

[solararchaeologist]

Pharaoh, meanwhile, is paying no attention to Snake’s actual language in favour of the Wilybot’s body language as he collars him like he’s picking up a puppy. The swipe is something he can’t completely avoid, but it’s fine - the other bot is trapped anyway. He’s not going anywhere.

He gives him a few rough shakes.

“Stop talking,” he instructs, voice calm. “Your input is not needed here.” Tearing him to pieces would be annoying to deal with (he’s more than a little disturbed that his first thought in regards to dismemberment, even applied to an obnoxious Wily-built intruder who could come back, is ‘annoyance’ rather than any kind of actual moral thought) but, well....

He glances at Dive, being sure to keep a firm grip on his opponent. Almost as an afterthought, he twists Snake’s injured arm again, just a little.

“You could take him swimming, brother,” he suggests mildly. “See if he is a sea snake.” It’s half a joke, but only half.

[splishsplashtoad]

What's it like being the cutest Cossack?

Well I *AM* very cute but the cutest? No.

For that you should go see my younger brother Dive. Just look at him!

[divemissile]

Bah, I take offence to that! I am strong and courageous, brother, not cute.

[solararchaeologist]

Do not listen to him, he is adorable.

[snakedwn022-blog]

(A Butt Whooping) From Russia With Love

[russkiy-dustbuster-blog]

Block the door, now that was a task Dust could handle easily! He slapped his arms out to dissuade any escape, backing to the door. Besides, he couldn’t get a good shot at hitting Snake, nor one at sucking Toad maybe out of his hands and into more friendly territory when Snake had his buster pressed to his head— Говно! That would kill him! Well, that amped up the stakes a lot more! Action time, think straight, don’t look like just a vacuum! “I am Dust Man, and you are in very a lot of trouble for messing with our brother!” He huffed sternly as he could muster. “Let him go or I will suck up all your little dumb sna— waah!” Dust’s best route of intimidation got cut off as Pharaoh demonstrated his much higher aptitude for gymnastics, vaulting clear over his head with an added shot of solar power to boot. Well, in all honesty, that wasn’t a bad trade off at all, and Dust instead decided that he’d have to start dealing with the little snaking minions homing in on them all, which was the only thing keeping their actual advantage of numbers at bay. 

… Actually, the homing, slithering, sneaking part had given way to the actual assaulting part now that he felt it and noticed they had swarmed the room. “Ah, ow! Уходи!” He tried to shake a little snake-y robot off his leg, aiming downwards to suck it and possibly any others near it right up into his vacuum compartment before they started making more of a hazard than just Snake himself was.

[divemissile]

Perfect, Pharaoh had arrived! If Snake managed to slip past them, their much faster brother would catch up to him with ease.

"You are outnumbered, Wily robot." Dive grinned at Snake, no friendliness present in his expression. He was confident that the Cossacks had this in the bag… or at least, his brothers probably did. Between Pharaoh firing shots towards Snake and Toad starting his screaming up again and the tiny snakes gradually building in numbers and Dust trying to suck them up, the waterbot was starting to feel a little disorientated. 

"Маленькие ублюдки -" he cursed, deciding he and Dust should probably focus on the Search Snakes while Pharaoh dealt with their source. His own weapons being explosive meant using them in an enclosed space - Toad’s room, no less - was pretty much out of the question, so for now all he was really able to do was attempt to crush them and toss as many as he could to Dust’s vacuum. Ugh, why did this have to take place on land?? "Pharaoh, disable him, quickly!!"

[snakedwn022-blog]

Maker dammit this bot could shriek! It was throwing Snake off bad, along with the input of his Search Snakes and all his sensitive equipment meant for measuring sound and vibration. He yelps as Pharaoh shoots his buster, completely letting Toad go and stumbling back with his hands over his earcaps. “Make him stop! Shut UP!” Too much interference in too small of a room was starting to physically hurt. And while he mourned the loss of his prize, he hadn’t expected to make it this far.

The fact he got into Toad’s room was enough of a bragging right.

With his goal surpassed he aims and fires snakes at Toad and the others, a cackle rising while he backs up and searches for an escape route. The castle partially mapped out by now.

[solararchaeologist]

The shot does what it's intended to, and Pharaoh allows himself a fleeting moment of relief that things hadn't gone as badly as they could have.

Bright light flares; he can't risk a wave in such a confined space, but he releases enough stored energy in a burst that ensures at least a few of these snakes won't be biting anyone.

He'll be damned if he lets the Wilybot who threatened his brother escape, so he does the only thing he can at close range and closes the distance between them with another jump, going for Snake's injured buster arm first to twist it up behind him if possible - fingers digging into the wound he'd already made with his opening shot - and lashing out with a leg sweep simultaneously to try and knock the other bot off his feet.

[snakedwn022-blog]

From Russia With Love

[divemissile]

Oh maker did Dive bristle at that lick, but he didn’t want to further endanger Toad by lunging at them - he needed a way to separate Snake from his brother, then he could attempt to subdue the serpent. Except thinking up a plan was difficult in such a hectic situation, with Toad kicking at his captor and Dust arriving on the scene and the sudden appearance of the DWN’s weird little snake minions. 

"Dust! Block the door! Make sure he cannot escape!!" he barked, apparently unaware there… was no door to actually block. Eh, it was clear what he meant. Summoning his armour in an attempt to make dealing with the Search Snakes easier, he apparently decided to forego his previous plan and instead made a move to try to grab Toad out of Snake’s grasp.

[snakedwn022-blog]

"Oof!" Snake doubled over in pain as Toad started kicking. "You…" He wheezes, yanking him back up and digging his claws into his prize. He aims his buster back up in time for another Cossack to join the party. Some… vacuum? Was this guy even a Robot Master? "Who the fuck are you?" Snake snaps, before pulling Toad back more and hissing at Dive. His buster moves from aiming at Dive to Toad’s head. "Don’t move one mechanical muscle! Or I’ll take him out with me!" At best an empty threat, but maybe the Cossacks were as dense as the Lights. Maybe family was a bit stronger sense with them? "Andstopkickingmeyoulittleshit!"

[solararchaeologist]

Agility pays off; Pharaoh's ability to jump isn't as pronounced or specialised as Toad's, but when he comes running he calculates the chance he has and takes it.

"Прошу́ проще́ния," he mutters apologetically, and just...casually vaults over Dust, temporarily using one hand to brace his jump and the other one to charge. He's a lot faster than his bulkier brothers by necessity - no point being an archaeology robot if he can't outrun instabilities.

The result is Snake's buster getting a burst of solar energy directed at it while Pharaoh is in mid-leap; it's hard to miss from such close range. He'll do his best to catch the buster before it can fire, sending another pulse of solar energy upon contact and at the very least blocking any shots the Wilybot might make from hitting Toad.

[solararchaeologist]

An S.O.S. was broadcast over the Cossack frequency, originating from Toadman. >Wily bot in the castle! Help!

>Where?

He's already out of his room and pinging the other Cossack bots, because he can guess who Toad's unwelcome visitor is.

>There are smaller heat signatures in the castle. Foreign ones. I would guess that it is the snake bot that has come to pay us all a visit.

[solararchaeologist]

Good thing about human holiday dedicated to couples: chocolate is discounted the day after.

[solararchaeologist]

Do you have any fears?

Is this really a question you think I would answer honestly where everyone could see it?

[solararchaeologist]

How do you feel about DWNs and DLNs?

Hm? Odd question.

DLNs are...cordial with us, at least. [ not sure if he should say 'allied', i mean they're pretty okay but they're not buddy buddy ] My line of work has not much to do with them, but I see them sometimes. Always polite.

DWNs....

...vary. Sometimes in unexpected ways.

[ still has the worlds biggest grudge tho ]

[icantdrawairman]

What could be better than this? Guys being dudes!

For Ruka!

[solararchaeologist]

((this is so cute fuck

everything ive ever wanted))