i don't belong.

[solaxlamia]

#SOLAXLAMIA

independent & semi-selective supernatural's benny lafitte, fed by melli (she/her, 30) since idk when. crossovers with many fandoms can happen. IMs open to all. mature content tagged #nsfw at all times. a/b/o will be tagged #omegaverse. i am slow, but i love u all so come to me & let me love u.

VERY USEFUL LINKS:

rules. / bio. / headcanons. / wishlist. / memes. / starter call. / open starter.

NOTE: this is a sideblog off my rp hub @xjitenshax.

[solaxlamia]

willchosen​ // dean:

     He’s not sure he’d been expecting anything, truth be told. Unless you count the last remaining pieces of hope to somethin’ you should’ve given up on a long time ago. But now, Benny’s here, his presence anchoring Dean into a treacherous lull. His shoulders fall, tension easing.

   “Shit, man, I’m just…it’s good to see you,” Dean pulls back, taking Benny in, all muscle and weapon and lookin’ like hell. They all look like hell, anymore. He guesses it’s only to be expected at the end of the world.

    They’re wrapped in a dust storm from the effort to reach each other, and there are stubborn rainclouds behind his eyes threatening to spill open as he clings onto the memory of Benny’s touch. Of warmth. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like, even if that protection and…well, care, was all he’d had to cling onto from within the prison gates before. Real life and an apocalypse do wonders to erase warmth and anything that might’ve maybe resembled love before, undefined though it were.

    And then, just like that, he’s shown too much vulnerability in a world that punishes softness by pestilence and something worse than death. He straightens, pulling his shoulders back with a classic Dean Winchester smirk, “You been waitin’ around Corpseland for me?”

     There’s no other reason. He knows that logically. But he’s gotta take two steps back from this situation. Benny is alive and that is good. Benny was waiting for him, and that means…somethin’. Everything else, unknown. How long they will have, who will die first, whether Benny’s willin’ to take up arms on a suicide mission to California for his brother. Undetermined, improbable. Thinkin’ like a leader, like a soldier, he can’t afford to hope, but he lets himself have it for now regardless.

when he set out a few weeks ago, he knew his chances were abysmal, yet here he is - dean fuckin’ winchester alive & well, handsome as ever. the man of the hour. it’s like he’s set out to find the yeti & stumbled upon it at first try. his heart feels oh so much lighter in an instant - a weight he’s carried around with him for far too long finally lifted. all he’s ever wanted was for dean to know the truth, for him to know that benny wanted to be there & he would’ve been if he had been able to. “it’s a damn miracle, brother. didn’t think you’d show.” hoped, yes. he’s hoped & prayed, like the old man is still watching over them. pffht. 

“ain’t all that much different from jail if you ask me.” it’s live or die, survival of the fittest all over again & benny’s good in this world. it’s like he lived in a dream for the past year & now he’s awake & home once again, only the stakes have been upped & one mistake will end life - no second chances. “we had a date, maybe i’m chasing a memory here, but it’s one i ain’t gonna let go.” what he felt for dean, what they went through together - it’s not something he can just forget. nor does he want to. 

“how ‘bout you come inside - it’s cozy inside & there’s some food left.” he .. wants him to stay. surely dean has his brother & father hidden away somewhere, maybe he’s out here scouting the are, plundering, but .. now he’s here - they both are & he deserves to have that date, doesn’t he? “stay the night, catch up, y’know?”

@moonwoken​ <3

[solaxlamia]

[solaxlamia]

OOC

out of blood packs ( ooc ) sυre ιғ тнaт’ѕ wнaт yoυ’re ιnтo ( wιѕнlιѕт \ ooc )

ιт’ѕ вeen тoυgн walĸιng тнe lιne нere ( answered aѕĸ. \ replιeѕ ) don’т go тнroυgн all тнaт тroυвle on мy accoυnт ( тo ĸeep \ ooc ) sѕoмe reѕт. нalғ a cooler ғυll oғ aв negaтιve ( senтence ѕтarтerѕ & мeмeѕ \ ooc ) ĸιnd oғ wιѕнιng ι нad apprecιaтed ιт мore ( aeѕтнeтιc poѕтѕ \ ooc ) ι waѕ нopιng ι coυld aѕĸ yoυ ғor one мore ғavor ( selғ proмo \ ooc ) ι ѕтarтed ѕeeιng ѕoмeтнιng ιn нυмanιтy ( proмo \ ooc )

MUSE

ι нaven’т alwayѕ вeen тнιѕ cυтe and cυddly ( benny ) yoυr мaĸer нe мeanѕ everyтнιng тo yoυ ( all тнιngѕ вenny \ мυѕe ) ι’м вeттer вυт ι’м ѕтιll on тнe мend ( вodyclaιм \ мυѕe ) oвvιoυѕly ι’м leѕѕ тнan coмғorтaвle wιтн тнaт ( wardroвe \ мυѕe ) darlιn’ ιт’ѕ noт мy ғιrѕт rodeo, all rιgнт? ( deѕιreѕ \ мυѕe ) ι drιnĸ вlood ι don’т drιnĸ people ( нeadcanon \ мυѕe ) leт тнe ocean ѕwallow υp all oυr ѕιnѕ ( sнιp тнιngѕ \ мυѕe )

CHARACTERS

yoυ and тнaт wнole ғrιend тнιng ( ғaмιly тнιngѕ \ мυѕe ) yoυr lιттle вroтнer doeѕn’т eхacтly pυт cнιllѕ υp мy ѕpιne ( saм wιncнeѕтer )

yoυ need тo lay oғғ тнe jυnĸ ғood cнιeғ ( dean wιncнeѕтer )

нoly нell ιғ нe aιn’т a мagneт ( caѕтιel )

SHIPS

тнanĸѕ ғor noт gιvιng υp on мe вroтнer ( benny/dean )

SHIP VERSES

VERSES

tba

[givemeangstymemes]

Send  📝  and my muse will leave a sticky note for yours!

Sticky note generator here (X)

[solaxlamia]

waywardfreckled​ // dean:

     Time changed everything. Even a warped world kept spinnin’ on its axis, dragging the years with it. Indeed, it’d been a hell of a long time now, and time had changed them both. Experience had changed them both.

     His knees folded, the opposite way that they should because fuckin’ bow-legs. Slowly, he turned slowly, the gravel hardly shifting beneath his boots, hands in the air.

     He recognized Benny’s voice at the end of the world, and if he was wrong, he was just about to get another stray bullet. No big deal, right? Just another idiotic move by another careless human.

     The zombiepocalypse (he was still working on coining a term for it) was a little bit rougher than prison. Razors, soap…not so easy to come by. Everything was more often than not caked in layer after layer of dirt and grime, but he recognized his comrade instantly. Guard dropped. It shouldn’t have, goddamn it, because you never knew anymore when somethin’ was safe. But when had Benny been anything but?

     His body loosened, the hard features of a leader that remained etched into his face on most days softened into that of a long-lost friend, or a long-lost something, scattered on the wind, and returned safely home.

     “Benny?” the name drew out like a prayer on the wind, Dean’s resolve trembling, because there was no way to put into words how good it was to see Benny Lafitte, here, at the end of all things.

“y’been expectin’ another handsome devil to find you, chief?” that he had, apparently, which was something he’d thought nearly impossible not too long ago. had come to this diner on a limb, on the tiniest flicker of hope & his faith had been rewarded - he found what he was looking for. 

long, dark coat had surely seen better days, but it had been benny’s long before prison, so it held a certain amount of familiarity - a comfort he wasn’t willing to give up just yet. posture controlled as it always was, yet he appeared comfortable & calm as he stood. gun had never been raised above his hip, he’d not felt the need to - he knew dean’s frame anywhere. long stride across the distance that separated them, broad shoulders stretched & arms extended to wrap around the other male. warm, long hug that was long overdue, benny pulled away after with a clap on dean’s back.

“guess i’m late. sorry about that.” two years, or maybe three - but did time even matter anymore? who could say what happened tomorrow when every day in itself was a fight for survival? fine shoes had long since been replaced with thick leather boots to simplify traversing uneven territories. “had a little misunderstanding with the folks at the prison, ended up stayin’ longer.” he.. likely didn’t have to explain, but he wanted to. dean deserved an explanation, he deserved better than to be left standing & doubting what they’d had for years with no such thing as an attempt at retribution on benny’s side. 

[solaxlamia]

waywardfreckled​ // dean winchester:

     To be fair, Dean hadn’t asked to be the leader of anything or anyone. It was just a role he found himself in more often than not  — takin’ care of other people rather than takin’ care of himself  — usually when he didn’t want any part of it. 

     John had died barking orders, and Dean had inherited the role to a group of misfits that weren’t even his family until some sadistic dude named Gordon had come and ripped that away too, makin’ it clear there was no room for two leaders in his pack. That’s how Dean ended up across state lines lookin’ for something lost.

     His family was scattered in all directions. Sam at the heart of it in California. A good brother woulda gone after him a long time ago. Dad still bein’ pissed wasn’t a good enough excuse. But it was a hell of a long road to Stanford on a slim chance and what John had called ‘a fool’s mission’, but it was one he’d undertake, as soon as he had enough supplies and fuel for the car. If the dead didn’t kill him, desert days and their bitter equivalent of nights could kill him just as easy.

     Without Sam, there was no use trackin’ down Bobby and Ellen in Sioux Falls, holed up with the rest of the family, or so he’d heard before the phones went off grid completely. It would be playin’ it safe to go home. Dean didn’t want safe. He wanted to know why Benny hadn’t showed up at the meeting point a year ago. He wanted to know what was so much better than stickin’ together. Havin’ someone, when everyone else came with their judgement.

     The place smelled like rot. Rotting corpses, old food and grease. Was just the state of the whole goddamned world now. There were no answers here.

     His hand was on the back door now, and fear went through him like a dull blade, aching in all the wrong places. Rationally, he knew Benny wouldn’t be here. He hadn’t been a year ago, and he wouldn’t be now. Hopefully he’d had enough sense to get out of New Orleans entirely, and this little podunk town just outside the city of sin as well. 

     Still, Benny’s was one of the faces that haunted him when he sleeps, gaunt and dead, moving with no reason left to move. Other than to eat. Kill and eat, kill and eat. Funny thing was that the monsters and the humans weren’t so different now when it came to that cycle.

    He lingered too long before deciding not to go in. Whatever meager supplies hadn’t been raided by now wouldn’t be worth the amount of bullets, the noise.

     The chance that Benny was a corpse inside.

     He turned around, feet sliding on the loose gravel to walk away and be done with it. To be on his own ‘s long as it took to get to Sam. One of the dead shambled toward him, confused. Dean cleared it up for it by putting a silenced bullet in its head that isn’t silent enough.

living in this world was quite a lot like prison life had been, safety within bars during the night was a myth, sleeping with one eye open at all times had been normalcy for benny for a decade - living this life now was like coming home. only home was nowhere, run over by the dead & there was nothing - or nobody left to return home to. 

he’d been grasping at straws, honestly & dean was one of those last few remaining straws benny could think of. in fact, dean was one of the first people he thought about after the outbreak. but finding him in this mess was nearly impossible. at least that’s what he’d made himself believe. up until he decided fuck reality, hello hope. was he desperate? maybe. but if he didn’t try, then he would regret & wonder for the rest of his life. 

close to dozing off once again, the sound outside had him alert. backpack slung over his shoulder, bat in hand & a knife tucked in between belt & hip, he slid outside through the backdoor - the bell fastened to both doors had surprised him when he arrived, so he’d taken them down instantly. nobody needed noise dragging in more of the dead. 

outside though, he found the footsteps had clearly not been a walker, but a human instead - a living one anyway. first thing he saw was the dead collapsing, second was the gun at the ready while his own was tucked away against his thigh. “didn’t wanna come in? best burger in town.” he could have supplies, or ammo. or knowledge. “turn around slowly, i got no beef with you - just wanna know if you’ve seen a friend of mine around these parts.” 

[solaxlamia]

“i know it’s hard to believe, but i haven’t always been this cute & cuddly.”

                          indie benny lafitte, as fed lovingly by melli 

[solaxlamia]

//whoop whoop

theme to fit all my other active blogs: check high happiness level of the mun therefore: check tags: in progress links in verses and navs therefore: in progress replies: owe 1, in progress

[purpledragongifs]

Ty Olsson as Benny Lafitte in Supernatural - Season 10, Episode 19 - ‘The Werther Project’

Made by purpledragongifs. All gifs are 540px wide.  Please do not delete credits.

[solaxlamia]

@waywardfreckled​ || as plotted?!

weeks had passed since the world as they knew it ended, benny had just begun to find his footing again - had just found a proper home to call his own & a job that paid the rent. a good one this time. he had no desire to repeat his stint behind bars, even though it brought something ... someone into his life he likely never would’ve met otherwise. things hadn’t turned out like he’d hoped, but part of him had known he would find a way to mess it up. he’d had one job, be there at noon - wait in diana’s diner at the booth in the corner. but he didn’t make it. regret haunted his every day, but the life he’d built for himself was a welcome distraction. then everything changed & for the first time in months, benny thought about finding dean again. he did for a while before, but it wasn’t easy to find people in the united states. 

with the world drowning in chaos & the second year anniversary of that date approaching, benny found himself in that diner once again (he’d tried his luck a year after, but to no avail), now he was back again, it was quiet now - the few dead inside he’d taken out swiftly, though it always left a mess to kill. the place had supplies, which he’d happily taken for himself. but benny hadn’t come for those. it was early morning, he didn’t know why he thought he should be here, but it felt somewhat familiar & he had to camp out somewhere for the night anyway, right? until he found a permanent home anyway if those still existed. the night had been quiet, he’d barricaded the windows to avoid the dim light of his candle staying undetected. 

he was dozing off now & then, sleep these days was restless, but footsteps outside alarmed him enough to grab his bat. 

[acklesjensen]

Well, come on. You a wimp?

[deactivated-blog]

Dean and Benny in 15x04

[jarpadandjensens]

spn || 15.04      [see you on the other side]

[solaxlamia]

poisonwhiskey‌:

“Oh yeah, I have a few back in storage”, Dean teased right back and was almost shocked at how natural it felt. They continued right where they left off, as if no time had passed at all. “… I missed you, man. How… How are you even back?”

“Guess y’don’t need me anymore then.” Benny chuckled softly,  knowing full well that it had been sheer luck Dean worked with him, not against him - because Dean Winchester wasn’t known to work with monsters. “Remember the backdoor that brother o’yours came in through? King o’Hell let me pass, he’s sendin’ kisses.” He wondered what that was about, Dean and Hell’s King?

[solaxlamia]

poisonwhiskey:

Dean very almost didn’t pick up the phone, he didn’t recognise the number. But as soon as that deep voice his his ears, boy was he sure glad he did. “Son of a bitch… Benny? Is it really you?”

One of the numbers he remembered had to still be active, and it seemed he was in luck. Dean’s voice lit a fire in him he thought he’d lost - and he had while they were apart. He knew now why he didn’t succeed the first time around; he’d been lacking Dean motivation.  “Know any other handsome vampire with a southern drawl? Tryin’ t’make me jealous?”

[solaxlamia]

@poisonwhiskey gets random love

“What’s that you said, chief? Die ‘gain and I’ll kill you? Guess you’re gonna have t’come find me.” He was back from Purgatory, again, not sure which year it was - or what he’d missed. He just knew the first person to call was Dean.