Believing in yourself
Hey guys!! Its been a while since I last had a blog entry. I honestly am so disappointed in myself, because I know a lot of people are depending on me. The last 8 months has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, lessons, and simply growing pains.
When I set out on this journey, I honestly wasn’t prepared for what I have been through. I just made the assumption that I will follow God’s plan for my life and all will be good. I didn’t have the understanding that it will be a fight. I mean a serious fight!! You fight against yourself, you fight against the opposition, and you fight against friends and family that have NO damn idea, what the hell you are doing.
During this spiritual journey you learn so much about yourself and what you have tolerated in the past. This journey is only for the strong!! As most of you know that have been following me I took all of 2018 off to heal from a disturbing relationship. The situation was so hurtful that I had to run away. Literally moved away and started over. All the things I loved I left....Just to figure out why the hell while I’m on this journey to guide people to their versions of God, why would I have to go through this. 2018 was one of those years you look back at and be like damn, I worked my ass off and I did the work on myself. Healed and ready for the world!! I was living in my purpose....FINALLY!! Seeing clients, doing my podcast, and creating a true balance in my life. In the end of January 2019, I was approached by an employer to come on full time. You see I had this very part time job. The job was just to compensate for my business. In 2016, I took the job and honestly was very happy. I came in did what I had to do and left. So fast forward to 2019, he asked me to help him get his business together because it was hitting a rough patch. Instead of me thinking about my business, I was like sure I will help you! 8 months later...I literally was back to square one with my goals.
I was so busy doing for his business, I had stopped all of my hard work that I put into my business. My podcast abandoned...Blog...abandoned....Clients....abandoned. I was looking around at all that I have done to help his business grow, and I wasn’t doing anything for my own. By holding myself accountable for my decisions, I realized that I had did this to myself. One of my spiritual teachers taught me earlier on that your life is a movie. You play all the characters in this movie called life. When something is happening that doesn’t sit well in your soul look at it and figure out why you would you have this play out in your life. That is exactly what I did. Why was I working to help someone else grow their business? Did I not believe in myself? Why would I do this? When I answered these questions I came up with the one answer.....I truly did not believe in myself. Sad right? How can someone that has ran muti- million dollar companies not believe in herself? What in the hell was I telling myself?
This lesson that I learned was invaluable...... Now here I am a week out from no longer being there. Having accomplished so much in a week with my business, more than I have the entire 8 months that I was distracted. Off my path......My mindset is totally different now. It doesn’t matter how hard things get the time is NOW. The book I need to write, the lives I need to help, the mentoring that I need to do...is NOW. I will talk about this more on my podcast which will be out this week!! I know that this will help someone that is stagnant in their life. Believe in yourself, your abilities, and your gifts that God gave you!! Stay focused on your goals, and remember that you can do anything that you want to when you change your mindset to a winning attitude.