hello!!!!! this is a sideblog for @shakingparadigm's ALNST OC/Sona, Solei! I'll be putting most of the OC/Sona interactions and junk over here instead just so things don't get drowned out on my other blog!!
Dunno if you still wanna be updated on flor (new account due to stuff, still kel) but .... I can share her updated design with you .I forgot to share before but .better someday than never .yk
I've seen! And she looks wonderful :) I love to watch her evolve and to see your creativity flourish...
love you Para. . . take care of yourself, okay? we all think of you frequently and you're dearly missed but your health and happiness matters so much more than any of that. I hope you're doing alright, and that even if you're not, that things get better <3
sincerely, rock :)
hello, thank you rock!! i really genuinely appreciate your care, im sorry i disappear so often for this to become a reoccuring thing but nonetheless im grateful everyone's so understanding. it means everything to me
love you Para. . . take care of yourself, okay? we all think of you frequently and you're dearly missed but your health and happiness matters so much more than any of that. I hope you're doing alright, and that even if you're not, that things get better <3
sincerely, rock :)
hello, thank you rock!! i really genuinely appreciate your care, im sorry i disappear so often for this to become a reoccuring thing but nonetheless im grateful everyone's so understanding. it means everything to me
Not from the phone, but from the communication device that Nyx had given Tov.
His voice was thin from exhaustion, and he spoke in a hushed tone.
“Solei is dying.”
Tov’s heart stopped.
What?
Why?
How—
“It’s too much to explain over the phone.” Nyx said.
“Then come get me.” She said. “Take me to them.”
He inhaled sharply, “I can’t, Tov. It’s too risky—”
“THEY’RE DYING, NYX!!”
Tov’s voice shook from the tears, from the anger, “Either you tell me where you are, or I’ll find out by myself.”
“Tov, don’t—”
She cut him off again.
“I would’ve given anything to be by Himei’s side when she died. Same with Moran.”
If she was being honest, she would’ve been there for Stas and Azure too.
Even though she wasn’t very close to the them, and even though he wouldn’t have given a shit if she was there or not.
“If you had that chance with Lang… wouldn’t you have taken it? Risks and all?” She asked.
It was low to pull on that particular heartstring, but Tov would be damned if she didn’t get to see Solei one last time.
Nyx would understand.
If not now, then later.
Hopefully.
Tov held her breath.
“Alright,” He said, resigned. “I’ll come get you. Be ready by midnight.”
A choked off sob clawed its way out of Tov’s throat.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
———
Nyx knocked on her window a few minutes after midnight.
Both of them were dressed in black from head to toe, like they were about to attend a funeral.
Neither of them spoke more than necessary.
Nyx led her to his motorbike and helped her put the extra helmet on before they set off.
He drove down back streets and narrow alleys to avoid being seen, taking them further and further away from the lights of the city.
When they finally stopped in front of an abandoned factory building, the street was dark and empty.
It was quiet, but an easy quiet.
The night could breathe freely here.
Tov followed Nyx around the side of the building and through a metal door; clicking three heavy locks into place behind them.
There was a long flight of stairs straight ahead with only one light hanging from the ceiling.
“Here it is, home sweet home.” Nyx said as he started climbing the stairs.
Tov trailed behind him.
“Ryu and Ji Woo are probably asleep by now.” He said. “Rose might still be up, if you want to see them. Not sure where Bunny is, though.”
“Bunny?” Tov repeated.
Nyx paused on the step above her to answer, “Rose’s brother.”
Ah.
She didn’t know Rose had a brother.
Tov wondered if any of her other classmates had siblings she didn’t know about too.
It was something else they could’ve had in common.
The stairs led up to a common area with four doors branching off from it.
Nyx strode over to the door on the far right and knocked in a distinct pattern.
No answer, but he seemed to have been expecting that.
“Now we wait.” He said, leaning up against the wall.
She leaned against the wall beside him.
Tov could hear movement nearby.
The creak of an old floorboard.
Heavy footsteps in a steady rhythm.
Running water from an open faucet.
Nyx awkwardly cleared his throat.
“Listen, there’s… something you should know before you see Solei,” He started. “They’ve changed since Anakt Garden.”
Tov furrowed her brows, concerned by his emphasis on the word, “Changed how?”
Nyx looked away for a moment, then back at her, then away again, “So…” He sighed, “Guardian Ouro did some, uh, experiments on them, and they’ve been turning into… a bird.”
Tov blinked.
“A bird?” She repeated.
Nyx nodded once, “Yeah, a bird.”
“Like, with wings and talons?” Her head was spinning.
“Both.” He said. “They’re not entirely a bird, though. The change has been gradual over the last few months, and right now Solei is caught somewhere in the middle. Like a chimera? I think?”
Nyx shook his head, “Actually don’t listen to me, you’ll just—”
He stopped short, closed his eyes, and sighed again.
His expression turned grim.
“You’ll see what I mean.”
———
Tov and Nyx waited outside the door in silence.
Five minutes passed.
Then ten.
Just shy of fifteen minutes, the door slowly opened and Aurien came out.
The sight of her was enough to choke Tov up.
She was much paler than the last time they’d seen each other.
Her cheeks were gaunt too.
Deep shadows had sunk into the curves of her face and her eyes were dull.
Lifeless.
It reminded Tov of how Aurien looked just before Round 6; before Solei had saved her.
But there was no one coming to save her now.
No one was coming to save any of them.
The Moon can’t shine without the light of the Sun.
Aurien didn’t say anything.
She didn’t even look at them.
She simply stepped aside to allow Tov to enter the room.
“I’ll wait out here.” Nyx said quietly.
Tov nodded and stepped over the threshold alone.
Aurien shut the door behind her.
She looked around the room, hesitant, until she saw them.
There, in a nest of mismatched blankets and pillows, tethered to an IV with a respirator mask, was Solei.
Feathers had sprouted through their skin, bloody at the root.
Their arms were covered in scales.
Thick, black talons grew from their nail beds, curled and sharp at the ends.
They really were turning into a bird.
Tov stumbled forward in disbelief, and fell to her knees before the nest like a disciple at the altar of their god.
Because Tov loved the stars, and the Sun was a star too.
Solei had been her Sun for as long as she could remember.
A blindingly brightness that brought light into her life for the first time.
Tov relied on them for stability more than she would like to admit, even after they escaped Anakt Garden.
Maybe even more so.
Solei escaping, surviving, made the impossible seem possible.
But if they couldn’t make it, what hope did any of them have?
Solei’s eyes fluttered open and they looked right at her.
Their once sunny irises were hollowed out, eclipsed by something darker than the moon.
But there was still a ring of light glowing faintly at the edges, and their gaze struck Tov the same way it always had.
For as much as they had changed — been forced to change — they were still the same at their core.
They were still her friend.
She laid her head down on the edge of the nest to be eye level with them.
Tov smiled, wobbly, but as best as she could manage. “Hi Solei.”
Solei opened their mouth to respond, but sputtered into a coughing fit.
Blood speckled the inside of their respirator mask.
Their whole body shook from the force.
Tov’s heart twisted.
“It’s okay,” She said quickly. “For once, I’ll do the talking and you can listen.”
Solei let out a noise that sounded like a throaty chuckle.
Thankfully, no more blood came out.
Tov waited for them to settle down again before she spoke again.
She told them as much as she could, from the day they escaped the Garden, to her being here now.
She found out Tallis was still alive.
She had a twin sister named Wren.
She was almost completely recovered from her heart attack.
Solei watched her intently, listening to everything.
Tov wasn’t sure how long she talked for, but eventually, Solei started taking long, slow blinks.
She could tell that they were fading.
Only to sleep, she hoped.
Even if it was just to see one more day.
To spend one more moment with the friends they’d saved.
To hold Aurien one more time.
This would likely be the last time she saw Solei alive.
The weight of what that meant rested heavy in the pit of her stomach.
Tov reached out to gently brush the hair and feathers out of their eyes, so they could see her clearly.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke in a soft voice.
“You know, when I died, I think… I think I saw what comes after.” Tov whispered. “It was warm and there was lots of sunlight; a good place to rest and take naps.”
Tears spilled over her lashes despite how hard she tried to hold them back.
“Enjoy it for me, okay? It’ll be just like when we were kids. You’ll lead and I’ll follow. I can be your shadow again.” She said. “I’ll try not to be too close behind you just this once.”
Solei shuddered suddenly, murmuring something she couldn’t make out.
“Tov...” They rasped.
Her heart jumped at the sound of her name, pressing against her ribcage.
“I’m here.” She said.
Slowly, they raised a hand toward her, shaking and weak.
She grabbed it right away and pulled it to her chest, over her heart.
Solei squeezed her hand, warm and steady even with their waning strength.
It reminded her of the surety in their grasp as they pulled her along through the Garden, determined to befriend a little girl who rarely said a word.
A silent declaration of truth:
“I love you.”
Tov smiled bright, despite the pain, despite the fear of what lie ahead where the their light would no longer reach.
“I love you too, Solei.”
————————————————————
OH SOLEI!!!! YOU WERE BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE SKY!!!! 😭😭
I put off writing this log like crazy because I loved Solei as a character and their death hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m still not over it, honestly 🥹
Solei was also someone Tov cared about very deeply. They were the first light in her life, and now that light is gone.
