such is life.

Come take a look inside of what goes through the complex mind of an average 20-something going thru the pangs & woes, highs & lows of reality, daydreams and the.

[soliisoul]

Another day, a fresh start

Another chance to begin again

To cleanse the sorrows & burdens of yesterday

To rewrite your empty thoughts

And take the high road lined with

fragments of your peace of mind..

Time to pick up where you left off

[soliisoul]

I don’t think I have any fight in me left

the days keep repeating themselves

over and over and over again

I wonder what I’m doing

is make any kind of difference

is it all in my head?

am I actually worth what I believe I deserve?

am I just floating along amongst the living?

do I actually care enough about myself

if I constantly feel like the world in my eyes

always comes crashing down

on my hopes & beliefs..?

I try and I try and I try

To be resilient; to persevere when

all the odds are seemingly against me

to do what it takes to fulfill my needs

to feed into my cravings I have yet to satisfy

but yet I haven’t seen the benefits

of doing so ...of just simply “living”

is my heart in the wrong place?

where did I go wrong?

when did I lose sight of my

true sense of being..?

I pray and I pray and I pray

To the Universe, to the Creator

To my spirit guides, to my angels, whoever is

out there actually looking out for me..

for better days..for a shift in my mentality

for a sign that I’m protected, regardless

for a change that makes this state

I find myself in worth it all..

take this pain, this guilt of

feeling like I’m wasting this life away..

the symptoms of imposter syndrome away..

take away any type of negativity

that lingers in my mind, heart, spirit..

I want no parts of anything trying to

dim & blowout my light,

any devils advocates, internal & external

forces that are only trying to tear my down

from inside & out..

people, things that are only placed in my

path to distract me from ever reaching

any of my milestones..

I hope and I hope and I hope

that I make it out alive

to find my purpose & embrace euphoria

despite the challenges I face on a daily..

I don’t want to just live & let life happen..

I want to experience life & live in all of its glory

to walk along, make strides amongst the living.

[soliisoul]

I legit wish I could disappear for a while..come back when I feel like I’m ready to exist again. just me, living harmoniously with myself, because at least I can predict my own thoughts & actions..and have no expectations of others to reciprocate anything that I pour into them..just simply exist without the constant lingering of what hasn’t happened yet or what my purpose is in this physical lifetime..

[soliisoul]

I dreamt of him the other night

and although it’s been awhile

since I last saw him

He looked exactly how I imagined him to be..

The particular way he would look at me, smile at me

when I knew for certain something deep down inside of him was causing him despair

Oh how I could never forget those little things..

the touch of his hands,

on my face and my waist

the pureness of what once was

..now reduced to faint memories replaying every now & then in my sleep

like old reruns of a favorite throwback that only comes on overnight

slowly to be forgotten...but constantly lives on

only in my dreams...only in my memory..