my own wahala

[smsomah]

Rajasthan, India, 1989. Jyoti Bhatt

[solouktas]

[solouktas]

love waking up to my cat curled into my stomach

[solouktas]

my nervous system is a wreck thanks to my neighbor and his excessive yelling at his children almost everyday. them kids can’t be more than 5 or 6. i definitely think that him being white and them being biracial is playing into it because he calls his son “boy” in a particular tone that sets off all kind of alarm bells in me. i already tried to get cps involved and they told me his intense yelling doesn’t warrant a visit and if i’m worried next time…call the cops….

when i tell you this man screams so loud your bones and everything inside of you rattles…it reminds me so much of how my ex used to yell. if I’m feeling this way with walls between us i can’t imagine what those babies are carrying

[solouktas]

[solouktas]

~staying afloat~

[solouktas]

[solouktas]

prayer warriors to the front———> i need a job oooo! the job market is toooo scary and honestly has been since 2021/2022. my anxieties about money kept me from truly celebrating my birthday like i would’ve liked to. i found my favorite incense scent after not seeing her for a year. made my heart sing! the nightmares about him have finally stopped & I’m back to my regular old mission impossible-esq dreams. my dark thoughts are losing more battles this time around. still unsure about so much but it isn’t eating me alive in the same way. cheers to that!

[solouktas]

room just like me

[solouktas]

there can be such an eerie quiet to your life after a break up. like being up at the wee hours of the night/morning where the silence is intriguing and a little intimidating but you eventually settle into it. being a bit more carefree in your movements. these are the thrilling moments. other times the quiet feels so loud. and lonely.

[woolysocks]

this weeks ¡hola papi! ... a real zinger

[solouktas]

So I am seeing a collective excitement about bad bunny performing at the Super Bowl…the same person who deliberately chose not to tour in the US because of the massive ice raids & wanting to protect fans….will those same fans not be at the Super Bowl Benito? Also I see people being like yt people are gonna be so mad…..they are going to be uncomfortable but they will leave the superbowl with their pockets still intact. what would really piss them off is if we plummeted their viewership by not watching the 15 min performance in of the NFL industrial complex. but celebrity worship is still too high on a lot of our priority lists. i know the excitement and joy that these artists bring to our lives but their allegiance is to capitalism first and foremost.

[solouktas]

realizing how much i endured under the guise of love…

[solouktas]

[solouktas]

dollar tree went from a $1 to $1.25 and now we going from metro cards to OMNY…just wickedness

[solouktas]

[solouktas]

what’s on the horizon? a warm and cozy luscious landing for my troubles to be grinded to dust. blown away! making space for so much sweetness. reflected back to me through the eyes of friends, literature, nature and so much more. I am ushering in the life that is meant for me to truly revel in. challenged and triumphant. sometimes there is no lesson just another story to tell. Laughing with my whole body and leaning towards the sun. Blooming upwards. I feel holy. I am sacred to me…finally.