⤷ 𝓐𝗎𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗋’𝗌 𝓝𝗈𝗍𝖾 ﹕ YAYYY another fic for yeppi <3 dunno if i should set it as taesan x reader or sungho x reader.. lawls
⤷ 𝓢𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌 ﹕ sungho loves you to bits and pieces, if only you loved him the same way.
ranting to sungho, your best friend, for the nth time this week about your boyfriend being a complete bitch. he’s been ditching you so much lately for his so called “group mate” but they were literally never working on the project!
sungho carefully listened to you rant about your feelings. naturally, tears start to well up in your eyes simply because you hated feeling this way. you perceived your boyfriend as the love of your life, the apple of your eye.. or whatever cheesy stuff couples call each other.
though you don’t even know if your boyfriend reciprocated your feelings. sungho wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his warm embrace. you feel his warmth pressed up against your body as you melted in his arms. feeling his comforting presence, you can’t help but start breaking down. tears streaming down your face, soaking the fabric of his shirt.
he gently rubs circles on your back, in hopes to provide some sort of comfort. “sh.. it’s okay y/n.” he says in a reassuring tone. “no! it’s not okay! my own boyfriend doesn’t even love me back!” you cried out in between your uncontrollable sobs.
his heart sinks as he heard the words come out of your mouth, he can’t tell what hurt more. you being upset.. or you being in love with taesan.
sungho has always loved you, ever since the both of you were kids. but of course you were too oblivious to see this, instead you went ahead and dated taesan, his best friend. well, ex-best friend. he and taesan stopped being friends due to the fact that they were fighting over y/n too much.
sungho knew taesan well enough to know that he wouldn’t treat you right, which is why sungho is always there to catch you when you fall. to help provide comfort when you need it the most.
it hurt him to see you so blindly in love with taesan, when sungho is literally right in front of you. why can’t you see that he’s the one for you?!
he mentally beats himself up about this almost a million times a day. not a day goes by where he doesn’t regret not confessing to you sooner, maybe if we were quick enough. maybe.
“..maybe it’s time for you to end things with him, y/n.” he replies, your eyes practically shooting up to his. “break up?” you mutter as you wipe your tears away.
“yeah. he’s treating you so.. horribly. it’s hurting me too. seeing you like this.” he claims, oh gosh, he could only hope you wouldn’t be offended by his suggestion to break up.
“i’m sure this is just a phase, sungho..” you try reassuring yourself. sungho can only reply with a sigh, “.. if anything happens, know that i’m here for you no matter what.” he hesitantly murmured.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖
weeks passed by, sungho was walking down the hallway and into the direction of his home. only to stumble across you laughing and leaning into taesan’s embrace. sungho’s eyes almost instantly darted towards taesan, that stupid smirk painted across his face that he hated oh-so-much.
he clenches his jaw at the mere sight of you and taesan. looks like the both of you made up.. again. sungho can’t begin to remember how many times you’ve fought and made up. he feels like he's losing the same battle he has lost a million times already.
he doesn't know how much longer he can take this. but all he knows is that you only let him hold you when he can’t.
YOU’VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH ANTON LEE SINCE YOU CAN EVEN REMEMBER. You met each other as kids, forced to hang out with each other at a house party his parent’s had invited your family to. Given that you two were around the same age in comparison to the other kids who were still oblivious babies or whiny toddlers, it was only natural for you and Anton to gravitate towards each other: wherever he went you would follow, your fondest memories with him being when you both constantly abused your ‘big sister’ and ‘big brother’ privileges to boss the other kids around.
But in comparison to you who always got a little too mean towards the little kids, Anton was much more lenient; it was why they often favored him over you, which you didn’t really mind. That meant they’d bother you less during parties. But it was still you who hung out with Anton the most and it was you who stuck to his side even if the younger kids didn’t really want you around. Then middle school came, and you two gradually drifted apart until you had your own set of friend groups in high school—you were off with Minji and Sunoo and Taesan and Jaehyun and Danielle, and he was constantly surrounded by other guys you didn’t really care about (all except for a certain someone, of course, but that’s later on into the future). The house parties happened less and less, the little kids grew up and eventually left the two of you alone, and it was only until he found out about your little crush on Seunghan did you and Anton finally start bringing back the friendship that was slowly becoming forgotten.
Anton is… a good kid, which is why everyone is always drawn to him. He’s always had a heart as big as his head, so perhaps the reason why you’re this nervous about meeting with him after what seemed like days since your fight is because you don’t want to lose him again. Drifting apart is natural, friends fight—you know all that, but at the very least you did not want to end it on bad terms. You don’t want your last memories of your childhood best friend being bitter, which is why you must absolutely not mess this one chance up.
“…Did you ever, like, have a crush on him?” Seunghan inquires slowly, tapping his pen against his chin languidly as he sits on the floor beside your bed.
You give him a small, questioning glare. “Why do you ask?” you start, suspicious. “Because you think girls and boys simply can’t be friends?”
Seunghan shrugs. “Yeah?”
“Wait, really? You really think that?” your shoulders slumped.
“I mean,” Seunghan says, leaning back on your bed. “Anton’s pretty handsome, surely you’ve had a crush on him when you were younger, right?”
You consider it. “Hmm… well, I guess I did.”
“Really?” Seunghan seems more shocked rather than appalled. You hoped that was a good thing.
“In seventh grade, I think,” you clarify, “that was when he started getting…cute, I guess, and he was also getting more involved in swimming. Everyone started finding him attractive too, so it wasn’t just me. It was like being attracted to him was the new trend, or something.”
“What happened after that?”
“Well, he got a girlfriend around that time, so I quickly lost all the interest I had in him. I think I was super in-denial about it, too, so it’s not like anything would have happened between us because I didn’t want it happening at all,” you blandly respond. “Anyway, whenever I think about dating Anton, I just keep remembering about how he’d always cling and cry to his mom for hours when something didn't go his way back when we were little. So, major turn-off.”
Seunghan laughs loudly, and you watch him fondly as he tries to regain his senses. “Seriously?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.
“Seriously.”
Seunghan looks at you thoughtfully. “So you lost interest in him because he got a girlfriend, but why wasn’t it the same when it came to me?”
You pause, blinking slowly at him as shock invades your expression. Seunghan merely stares right back at you, an easygoing smile on his face while he waits for your response.
“I…” your words lose you, and you desperately try to grab at them. But Seunghan is patient, he waits for you to gather them, leaning his cheek against the cap of his knee while he sits beside you on the floor of your room. “I don’t… know?”
His smile widens. “You don’t know?”
You feel your face flush. “Well, I mean,” you start off bashfully, looking away from his prying gaze. “This and that are different… I knew Anton way before I started crushing on him, but I barely knew you. Plus, I realized I just saw him as a brother, but you… we weren’t even friends in the first place…”
Your face is probably as hot as a whistling kettle after you finished talking, and Seunghan’s amused smile isn’t helping your situation in the slightest.
“Don’t start teasing me,” you grumble, and Seunghan just laughs again, moving closer to pinch your cheek.
“But you’re so cute,” Seunghan coos, inching closer while you attempt to push his invasive hands away from your face. “You’re my cute girl, the cutest ever, I just wanna—”
A loud knock interrupts him, and you jump at the sound.
“Anton,” you gasp, staring back at Seunghan with wide eyes.
His silence enables you to aggressively push him away from you, and he gently stumbles back into the opposite way as you scramble to get onto your feet. He gives you an offended look, and you look back at him with an apologetic expression only to be met with a playful roll of his eyes. You hype yourself up as you make your way to the door, before opening it without further ado.
Anton blinks down at you. “Oh, hey,” he casually says.
“Hey!” you respond, suspiciously a little out of breath.
Anton glances at Seunghan who’s keeping himself busy with his laptop by the back, looks at your flushed face, before making a disgusted expression. “Ew, don’t tell me you two were making out just now…”
Seunghan freezes, the tips of his ears turning red while your jaw almost hits the floor.
You instinctively hit Anton’s arm. “No, we weren’t, idiot!”
He yelps, nursing his arm. “Ow! You didn’t have to hit me, jeez… I came here in peace, and this is how you treat me?”
You cringe. “Sorry…”
Anton quickly digresses. He meets your hesitant gaze, quietly asking, “Can we talk outside?”
“Oh, uh, sure,” you blinked. There it was—the Anton you knew when you were kids, always so shy despite being in the company of his friends. But the situation is a little more than just that, so you understand where he was coming from. “In the hallway?”
“Yeah, it won’t be quick,” Anton confirms as you step out of the room, taking one last longing look at Seunghan, who merely sends you back a reassuring smile as if he was saying ‘goodluck!’ to the both of you. (You refrained from eating your fist at how cute he looked.)
Out in the hall, the air turns into suffocating awkwardness you never thought you’d have with Anton Lee. You don’t remember being this… tense around his presence, as if you’re walking around eggshells around him no matter how nonchalant the two of you tried to act. You try to recall the last time you felt this awkward around him, but you can only come up with the brief moment in middle school when you harbored a crush on him that hadn’t even lasted a week. You had felt awkward around him because viewing Anton in a romantic light never really seemed that appealing, but that feeling had immediately washed away when you realized all you ever wanted out of him was his friendship and nothing else.
Of course, you can’t say the same about Anton. It’s not as if you can read his mind despite knowing him for so long now, but now you wonder if he’s experienced the same feelings you once did. And, in some part of you, you wonder if he harbors any romantic feelings for you right now—even if the rest of your friends tried to hide it, you weren’t oblivious to Jaehyun’s knowing glances whenever you and Anton were in the same room.
You just didn’t want to acknowledge such things ever again, not when your friendship with him has been sailing pretty well these past few years already.
Well, until now, that is.
“So…” you trail off, looking at his shoulder instead of his face.
“I’m sorry,” Anton immediately says, voice quieter than ever.
Oh.
“I shouldn’t have acted so weird after promising I’d set you up with Seunghan,” he continues, scratching his nape. “I never meant to insinuate that your feelings for him were shallow. I know how much you like him, but I ended up projecting my doubts into you and ruining our friendship in the process anyway. I honestly really, really wanted you guys to get together because I know that’s what makes you happy, and it’s also what makes Seunghan happy, so—”
“I forgive you, Anton,” you interrupt, before looking down at the floor. “And I’m also sorry; I shouldn’t have cornered you like that in the groupchat. I just… I just hated the thought of you disapproving of my relationship with him, even though you were only worried about us. And I don’t blame you for being suspicious of me, too, because I was honestly starting to falter during the first stages of becoming close with Seunghan, but I ended up really liking him anyway. And I’m glad you helped us get closer, really; I just wish we went about our concerns differently and honestly.”
“Yeah,” Anton agrees, smiling lightly, “but it’s okay now. You got your man, and I did my job. We’re all good. Right?”
“Yeah,” you repeat. “Life is good.”
“Eh, well, not… really? I have a composition assignment due in forty-eight hours and I haven’t gotten a single note in,” Anton says dryly. “I need to lock in right now.”
You push him, and he looks back at you in offense. You smiled, saying, “Lock in with us, then. We were just doing homework, for your information.”
Anton grumbles. “Yeah, right… I’d still third-wheel anyway.”
“Don’t be a big baby, ‘ton,” you roll your eyes. “We’re not gonna kiss in front of you.”
“Please don’t put that image in my mind. I’ll vomit right in this hall.”
“And I’ll make you clean it up, then I’m gonna tell your mommy how good of a job you did.”
“Kay why ess.”
You pause, looking at him thoughtfully. Anton slowly looks back at you, and you send him a small smile.
“...Thanks for looking out for us,” you say, quietly, “you’re a—...you’re a good best friend.”
“Naturally,” Anton snorts, and you give him a blank look. He quickly feigns a cough, saying, “You’re my best friend, too. Of course I’ll look out for you.”
It feels like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.
“...Can you believe that I had a crush on you during seventh grade?” you joke, intending to lighten the mood.
“Yeah?” Anton raises a brow at you, surprisingly unfazed.
You blink.
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah, I knew you liked me at that time,” Anton casually replies. “But then you started liking Intak from choir. By the way, he also knew you liked him—he told me at our last concert.”
“What?! How?!”
“...You’re not that slick, you do know that, right? The only reason Seunghan never knew was because you barely talked to him.” Anton explained dryly, sending you a disapproving look. “You were too—admirer-like. It gets sad to look at sometimes. Those four years could’ve been shortened to, like—I don’t know, three months? If you just freakin’ talked to him or something.”
Your eyes narrow. Anton raises his arms up in defense.
“But all’s well that ends well, right?” he quickly says, voice laced with a tinge of panic. “Let’s not drag this scene out now…”
You sigh in response, but oblige nonetheless. “You’re right. All’s well that ends well.”
You smile at Anton again, feeling content. You hope he shares the sentiment.
Just in time, Seunghan pops his head out from your door, looking both ways before finding the two of you crowding to the right. The creaking sound the door made as it opened forces yours and Anton’s attention towards the interruption, only to find a sheepish Seunghan stare right back at you.
“You guys have been out here for a while—just checking,” he says, ruffling his already messy black hair. “My bad.”
Although he tries to play it off with an air of nonchalance, you think you sense a hint of worry in his tone regardless. The thought makes you both uneasy and excited at the same time, which shouldn't even make sense but it just does.
Because Seunghan’s your boyfriend. And sometimes boyfriends get jealous when their girlfriend’s are alone with another guy. God, you shouldn’t be liking that sentence as much as you actually do.
“It’s all good, man,” Anton assures, waving a hand placatingly. Awkward again, but that’s none of your concern anymore—that’s just how Anton is anyway. He bites the inside of his cheek, flickering his gaze between the two of you. “Um, so… I think I’ll go now. See you guys later.”
“What?” Seunghan exclaims, a little too dejected. “So soon? You should stay and study with us. I know you still have that composition assignment to work on, and if you go back to your dorm now I know Sungchan’s just going to distract you.”
Anton winces. “Erm… I think I’d rather have that than third whe—”
You interrupt him. “He’s right! We’re better company than Sungchan anyway. Stay. Let’s get some food or something. And pull an all-nighter or whatever.”
Seunghan nods excitedly. Anton looks at the both of you incredulously.
“What the heck? You guys haven’t even been dating for a month, yet you’re already so in-sync of being annoying,” he says. “You’re quite literally making me pick between two evils right now.”
“So you’re staying?” Seunghan asks, grinning widely. You share the same, hopeful expression. “The lesser evil is definitely us, right?”
“...I’m not so sure about that.”
“Pleaaaaase, Anton, we promise we’ll be good, supportive study-buddies!” Seunghan needlessly insists. And you should be a little irked that your boyfriend’s begging another man to hang out with you two, but you surprisingly aren’t. One more company didn’t hurt, after all.
So Anton can’t even believe what he’s about to say next:
“Fine, but Y/N’s paying for food!”
You and Seunghan immediately cheer.
“Wait, what?” you ask dumbly.
But you eventually relent as the other two start making their way down the hall, an echo of a nonsensical conversation picking up. At least it didn’t take that much of a resistance from Anton to agree to yours and Seunghan’s invitation, and sure, it would’ve been nicer to just hang out with your boyfriend, but you also didn’t mind having your best friend tagging along as well. He was, after all, most of the reason why the two of you got together in the first place, so you more or less owed it to him. Plus, a hang out will slowly dissolve that suffocating awkwardness that has been circling between the two of you these past few weeks despite having already made up just minutes ago anyway, so really—all’s well that ends well.
When you finally catch up to them, Seunghan is the first one to speak up.
“So, Anton, was there ever a time you liked Y/N?”
The two of you practically choke on air.
“Excuse me,” you say.
Anton’s response is quieter. “You heard us…?”
Seunghan laughs. “Sorry, I got curious…” he says although he doesn’t sound all that remorseful. “Did you, though?”
“How can you just ask that?” Anton squeaks out.
“No, wait, I’m curious too!” you exclaim. “I can’t just be the one who had feelings for you at some point—you know how embarrassing that is?!”
Seunghan nods along. “Yeah! So embarrassing!”
“You guys are crazy, you’re literally her boyfriend!” Anton cries out, before slowly turning away. “...And yes, I did like her back at some point.”
You almost trip on nothing. “What?”
Anton awkwardly avoids your gaze.
Seunghan hollers, and you send him a pointed look. He quiets down.
You look concerningly horrified when you ask Anton. “Wait… you’re for real? When? Why? How?”
“In seventh grade,” he replies meekly. “It just happened, I guess.”
You and Seunghan almost go into shock.
“Holy shit,” he whispers, staring at Anton with wide eyes. “You guys could’ve been—oh, my God. Wow.”
“Wait, so if you knew I liked you, then why didn’t you…?” you trail off, confused.
Anton rolls his eyes indignantly. “By the time I did have feelings for you, you were already over it. What was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know—fight for her?” Seunghan suggests. “Such a wasted opportunity…”
“Dude,” Anton says dryly. “If I did that, you guys wouldn’t be dating right now!”
“Oh, right.”
You snort. “I guess it just means we aren’t meant for each other, huh?” you joke.
Seunghan almost looks sad. “Well, when you put it like that… I guess it really was a ‘right person, wrong time’ kind of situation, huh?”
“Yeah,” Anton says. “I like this outcome better, though. I like you guys together.”
You look at him pitifully. “Anton, you don’t have to be sad…”
“I’m not sad.”
“We’ll find you a partner soon… for all the help you’ve given us… I mean, they probably won’t be as cool and awesome as me, but at least you won’t be lonely anymore…”
“No thanks. Can we just go get food now?”
“No, really, Seunghan and I are always here for you. You helped us, so now it’s our turn to help you—what do you think of Wonyoung? She’s pre-med.”
“Oh! I know someone who’s friends with her, what do you think? I think you guys would be a good match.”
“Go to hell, the two of you.”
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SUMMARY. pining after hong seunghan has always felt like an unachievable reality; however, just a few months into your first year of college, it seems that the gods have finally listened to your prayers when news breaks out that your long-time crush is single once again.
AUTHOR'S NOTE. hi guys sorry for the longassshhh wait omg. i cant believe it took me this long to finish the reconciliation chapter but ykw... we're here now and that's all that matters. i will never leave u guys hanging ✊anyways this baby is ending in 1 chapter tehee see u next time.
info : 540 words, angst, mentions of blood + death
notes : i was jus thinking how yeonbingyu are such reckless romantics + how they'd act in dystopian, life-and-death kinds situations... and this devastating idea was born <3
☆ choi yeonjun
yeonjun would be the “i would kill for you” ultimatum. he's desperate and angry and so full of the desire for vengeance that he would murder anyone who's in the way, anyone who causes harm to the people he loves. he doesn't care about the blood that stains his hands, doesn't care if it scars his soul and destroys him in the afterlife, because all he cares about is this life, and about keeping the people he loves alive. his desperation for at least his loved ones to live and his fierce loyalty towards them manifests like this, in this grim determination that allows him to slaughter kingdoms, all for everyone else, all for the sake of others. yeonjun will fall into hell one day and even the devil will fear him there, but he'd do it all again if he had to.
“i'll kill them,” yeonjun declares, the words burning him from the inside out. “i'll kill them all. they're fools if they think they can hurt you and get away with it. i'm going to kill them all for you, just you wait.”
☆ choi soobin
soobin is the “i would live for you” ultimatum. he knows the intricacies of life, knows how hard it is to keep living and living and living and living, knows how painful it is to keep getting up every time you're beaten down, blood in your mouth and bruises in your side but still continuing to live. he knows how hard it is to live in spite of how everything inside him wants to die. but he can't die, not whilst he's the only one who loves you so strongly, the only one who remembers and truly cares. the world needs to know that someone lives, who loves the people that soobin loves. he lives, so the future can remember him, and thus remember you too. he lives so he can live enough life for the both of you.
“i love you,” soobin whispers, eyes shattering, “and i'm going to spend every day reminding the world just how much i do. i'm going to live for your memory, for your smiles, for everything you are. i'll live for you, and you alone.”
☆ choi beomgyu
and of course, beomgyu is“i would die for you”. how could he be anything else? he's a tragic lover, the classic lover, the kind of lover who places little value in his own life but places so much in yours. beomgyu would die for you, sacrifice himself a thousand times if he could, because he wants to help you, always. and if it's his death that does that, then. that's enough said. he places himself below others, in terms of importance: the people he loves always come first. he might cry about it—will definitely cry, in fact, heart-wrenching sobs where no one else can hear—but he'll do it. for the sake of other people's happiness, for yours, so he knows you'll smile again, even if he's not there to see it.
“listen,” beomgyu says quietly. even as tears shine in his eyes, his voice is strong, determined. “listen. let me die. i'll- i'll be the sacrifice. let me die for you, because at least then, i'll feel like i'm doing something worthwhile.”
in which you you’re always butting heads with kim leehan in your brother’s minecraft server, but everyone else thinks that you two just can’t keep your hand off of each other. which could be the case… though you highly doubt that when leehan enjoys blowing up your houses more than considering asking you out.
i hope the victim gets the justice they deserve and are surrounded by people who can support them. i’m genuinely horrified and i hope they’re resting okay. if anyone is at all concerned by the themes of the incident, my dms are always open! pls stand with the victim before you complain ab taeil leaving the group, yes ofc it’s upsetting, but this is something far serious and beyond just a “kpop scandal”. this is a crime and he’s being held under law.
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