[mourningmoth]

i really really REALLY severely need help with this and it Cannot wait please

im having very severe and very distressing issues as a result of my plurality and i very urgently need some kind of advice on how to deal with it. i am not contacting emergency mental health services bc im not interested in being incarcerated, therefore i am reaching out to anyone in the community who might be able to help me a bit

i am not conscious of switching

i have a high prevalence of amnesia between parts

not in treatment/therapy for dissociation specifically (scared to)

extremely traumagenic*

i would like to know if its possible to learn awareness, or learn to be more conscious of when a switch occurs. if not possible, i really need any kind of advice on how to manage it or how to help track it Without being conscious of it happening

i probably cant learn my way out of dissociative amnesia, but if anyone has any helpful tips on managing memories, that would also be very good. i already know journalling is often recommended, but unfortunately i am not good at keeping up with this kind of thing (system has ADHD)

*this is relevant bc my current issue pertains to trauma and how literally all my alters are trauma-holding in some way. my main problem is that all my alters are frequently switching in and out of front, and every time they do they are freaking out and breaking down over their individual extreme emotions/etc and its causing issues in my relationships, bc its distressing and confusing to other people whem "i'm" acting like this

disclaimer/clarification: im not an exclusionist about endo systems, do not discourse, i just need help

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

so first thing, it is extremely difficult if not dangerous to try to deal with traumatic memories on your own and even though i absolutely empathize with the fear of seeking professional treatment i really have to recommend starting the process of seeking out trauma therapy as soon as possible. these memories are distressing enough that they needed to be sectioned off and hidden so that you could continue to function, and trying to deal with them without guidance and professional support may well end up with things becoming much worse

that said, something that has worked for me is to have a roughly hourly log of activities, parts, and mood. you can do this with a watch that has an hourly beep and a notebook kept on your person, an app (such as daylio) or some other system. but included should be:

Time- rough estimate is fine if you have found that youre coming back to yourself after having lost time and note when that has happened

Activity- what youre currently doing, just did, or will be about to do. where and with whom are good to include if relevant

Mood- any emotional state or general feelings that youre experiencing, including any numbness or dissociation is important as well

Parts present- to the best of your knowledge

and then the important thing with this is to start making connections, are things coming up at a certain time of day? around certain people or places? what are you feeling before and after losing time or having a flashback? noticing patterns can help you start to predict things that bring on distress

i also recomend keeping a notebook next to your bed to allow a part to write down thoughts or dreams (or nightmares) as they come up, and just generally keeping one on your person or several around different rooms of the house or car if youre in a safe living situation and its possible. this especially helps mitigate the losing track of things with adhd

the other hard part of all of this is the problem of getting other parts on board with it and then dealing with learning whats going on and why and making sure that the intrusions dont get worse or accidentally causing further splitting and dissociation as distressing memories get closer to the surface. which is something that i again have to strongly recommend getting professional help and guidance with, to the best of your ability

[atelier-tamamoland]

sixpencee got less hate for straight-up admitting to owning a child slave than I do for saying children shouldn't be treated as property

[atelier-tamamoland]

like i'll say "parents should not be able to unilaterally override their child's consent" and some dipshit will see the word consent and the smoke from the hollowed-out crater that used to be their critical thinking skills will immediately coalesce into a message in my ask box calling me a pedo. no fucking hope for any of you

[atelier-tamamoland]

which I say, by the way, because one of my closest friends was able to be effectively disappeared off the face of the earth and sent into the woods to be sexually abused and tortured into being straight due to parents effectively owning their children as property. if you are a minor your consent simply does not actually matter - whether you get vaccinated, whether you get to go to school, whether people get to hug touch you, what you wear, how your hair is cut, what your hobbies are, whether you get to have friends, and yes, whether you want to be sent to a torture camp in the woods or not - your consent is entirely meaningless because your parents can simply override it, and there's fuckall you can do about it, because you aren't a person, you're just property. the family dog has more protections against being abused than children do

but! if you ever point this out you get called you a rapist

[dragonfiguresdaily]

Dragon figure of the day: ShaidySkyDesign Toothless With Red Sail Tail

[crimsonthehedgehog]

Are you twelve

No, I’m…Ahhh…AHHHH…!!!! *Clutches my throbbing head and topples to my knees, writhing in pain* Why can’t I remember……my past…..?!??!! AAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[anarqueeen]

yeah the doctor said they found the source of my guilt and quiet agony deep within my core. Yeah turns out there really is something physically and fundamentally wrong with me that I've been carrying my entire life. No they said they're not gonna remove it. Said its an "elective surgery" so insurance won't cover it. Anyway how are you

[h0ly-cr0w-deactivated20260520]

I call this one, Baby on Baby violence

[fairycosmos]

OHHHH i get it now i was supposed to die as a child

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

i can hear kids playing outside and im so jealous. i wanna do that

[shihkas]

30 Days of DID, non parts-focused

It's been eleven years (wow) since the original 30 Days of DID ask meme was created, and there Still isn't one that is not largely parts-focused. So I made my own.

Some questions still pertain to parts but they are much more few and far between than the original ask meme. Answer what you want to, skip over what you don't like. This is all in the name of getting to know yourself better and sharing only what you feel comfortable sharing.

To be clear because unfortunately I have to be, this ask meme is for those with a complex dissociative disorder (so not just DID!) whose experiences with parts are inherently disordered.

When and how did you find out you have DID?

How do you experience DID? Do you find your symptoms manifest more physically, emotionally, mentally, etc?

What does healing look like for you?

Do you have a specific type of therapy that is your favourite and that works best for you? What types of therapy haven't worked in the past?

Have you shared your diagnosis with anyone outside of your care team? If so, who and why?

Are you, as a whole, in a relationship? How does romantic partnership work for you?

How long have you been in treatment for DID?

When did you first learn/hear about DID, if it was prior to your diagnosis?

What misinformation about DID irks you the most?

What are some ways that depersonalization and derealization appear in your day to day life?

Do you have a favourite model of dissociation (eg. BASK, ToSD, 4D model)? Why?

How do you keep track of your symptoms and experiences?

What was your last therapy session like?

What is your favourite sense to ground yourself with? Olfactory, tactile, auditory, etc?

What are some ways that memory gaps appear in your day to day life?

Prior to your DID diagnosis, had you been misdiagnosed with other conditions?

Do you have a favourite movie, TV show, book, or video game that has a character with DID, or one that you believe has DID?

How do you experience emotions in relation to your DID? For you, how are emotions affected by dissociation?

How much internal communication do you have with parts? How do you, as a whole, prefer to communicate?

What are some ways that identity confusion appears in your day to day life?

What songs or specific lyrics do you relate to your experience with DID?

Are you diagnosed with other conditions? How do those conditions affect your DID, and vice versa?

Where is the safest place you can imagine for yourself as a whole?

How do you experience passive influence? How are you able to identify passive influence now, vs. when you first discovered your DID?

Have you read books on DID? If so, what are some of your favourites? What are some books you would like to read in the future?

How do you experience denial in relation to your DID? How do you deal with it?

Do you experience variation in skill correlating to levels of dissociation? If so, what skills stand out as most affected by dissociation?

In your experience, what are the hardest things about having DID in your day to day life?

Do you have a common trait amongst parts, such as a trauma response (or if you want to be less personal, hobbies or interests, etc)?

What is something you feel should be written about that was not asked here?

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

head hurts. neht wasnt feeling it so much but i sure am. i just wanna curl up forever cozy and warm in the dark and quiet :(

[fairycosmos]

big life tips dont be neurodivergent dont be poor dont get in any sort of situation and dont let yourself need or crave

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

sports dad is safe dad. my therapist said i can do some experiments to see how i (parts) respond to talking about sports with him in that limited context. and also she said it might be possible that he also has some dissociative symptoms because he does act so different in different contexts. and i think im right, sports dad is safe and not scary and not creepy. whether or not *i* can handle it is a different question, that i am allowed to gather data to help answer

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

positive so far but its really the time after (probably tomorrow) that im really going to get a lot of the important info

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

i do have to go to the gym though to make sure im not small though. i have to have an adult driving thats one of the ppe rules

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

sports dad is safe dad. my therapist said i can do some experiments to see how i (parts) respond to talking about sports with him in that limited context. and also she said it might be possible that he also has some dissociative symptoms because he does act so different in different contexts. and i think im right, sports dad is safe and not scary and not creepy. whether or not *i* can handle it is a different question, that i am allowed to gather data to help answer

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

it feels like i have a lot of different dads. some of them are really really awful, but one of them is fun and cares about me a lot and i miss him. but theres never any way to know which one youre gonna get. i want the one that took me out to get ice cream and go fly fishing and ice skating and that drove to tennessee after i got in a terrible car accident and that took me to the bills game. but hes not always that dad, and i dont want to be around the other ones. it sucks. it sucks really really bad

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

i think something that not many people Get is that as much as my dad hurt me and probably did also in other ways, its still complicated. so much so that it broke my brain apart because the feelings cant be reconciled. and that makes things, so hard. i miss my dad. i want to sneak back out of bed and go sit in the living room and watch hockey with him. i want to go to a bar and drink beers and eat wings and do dad stuff. i want that so so badly. and also i hate him or someone does but thats not me right now. right now i just want him to be my dad

[some-ghost-we-will-call-i]

i dont feel good today. bad dreams and i miss my family. i feel so conflicted. my siblings probably hate me and if i continue having to cancel things they will hate me more. i want to watch hockey with my dad but i also dont want to see him ever again. my mamas birthday is on mothers day and theyre all gonna hate me for missing that too. and then a childhood friends wedding that idk how im gonna go to because it involves driving like 8 hours probably with my family or a whole thing about why im not driving with them and a weekend in a rental and i dont know if i can. and all of this just feels so heavy and bad. and i havent been sleeping well :( i just wanna cry