i really really REALLY severely need help with this and it Cannot wait please
im having very severe and very distressing issues as a result of my plurality and i very urgently need some kind of advice on how to deal with it. i am not contacting emergency mental health services bc im not interested in being incarcerated, therefore i am reaching out to anyone in the community who might be able to help me a bit
i am not conscious of switching
i have a high prevalence of amnesia between parts
not in treatment/therapy for dissociation specifically (scared to)
extremely traumagenic*
i would like to know if its possible to learn awareness, or learn to be more conscious of when a switch occurs. if not possible, i really need any kind of advice on how to manage it or how to help track it Without being conscious of it happening
i probably cant learn my way out of dissociative amnesia, but if anyone has any helpful tips on managing memories, that would also be very good. i already know journalling is often recommended, but unfortunately i am not good at keeping up with this kind of thing (system has ADHD)
*this is relevant bc my current issue pertains to trauma and how literally all my alters are trauma-holding in some way. my main problem is that all my alters are frequently switching in and out of front, and every time they do they are freaking out and breaking down over their individual extreme emotions/etc and its causing issues in my relationships, bc its distressing and confusing to other people whem "i'm" acting like this
disclaimer/clarification: im not an exclusionist about endo systems, do not discourse, i just need help
so first thing, it is extremely difficult if not dangerous to try to deal with traumatic memories on your own and even though i absolutely empathize with the fear of seeking professional treatment i really have to recommend starting the process of seeking out trauma therapy as soon as possible. these memories are distressing enough that they needed to be sectioned off and hidden so that you could continue to function, and trying to deal with them without guidance and professional support may well end up with things becoming much worse
that said, something that has worked for me is to have a roughly hourly log of activities, parts, and mood. you can do this with a watch that has an hourly beep and a notebook kept on your person, an app (such as daylio) or some other system. but included should be:
Time- rough estimate is fine if you have found that youre coming back to yourself after having lost time and note when that has happened
Activity- what youre currently doing, just did, or will be about to do. where and with whom are good to include if relevant
Mood- any emotional state or general feelings that youre experiencing, including any numbness or dissociation is important as well
Parts present- to the best of your knowledge
and then the important thing with this is to start making connections, are things coming up at a certain time of day? around certain people or places? what are you feeling before and after losing time or having a flashback? noticing patterns can help you start to predict things that bring on distress
i also recomend keeping a notebook next to your bed to allow a part to write down thoughts or dreams (or nightmares) as they come up, and just generally keeping one on your person or several around different rooms of the house or car if youre in a safe living situation and its possible. this especially helps mitigate the losing track of things with adhd
the other hard part of all of this is the problem of getting other parts on board with it and then dealing with learning whats going on and why and making sure that the intrusions dont get worse or accidentally causing further splitting and dissociation as distressing memories get closer to the surface. which is something that i again have to strongly recommend getting professional help and guidance with, to the best of your ability











