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“I crack coconuts in my butt!”

*from my bedroom window*

#and other stuff overheard from my bedroom window

Got teeth pulled, homebound

Wisdom tooth extraction today 🦷

My Local Bakery doesn’t ricotta pies anymore

ever since they changed owners they stopped selling it and when they did, the pies cost 42$. how do you skim people like that? that’s a betrayal to the neighborhood. I guess they couldn’t skim people so they ditched it.

I’m probably going to be a priest…

because I don’t think marriage is going to happen.

I mean it’s not like job market has any entry level jobs, nevermind entry level jobs that pay a bare living.

I’m also open to living the life of a monk. I took a personality test on (idk i can’t remember the name of it) ChurchPOP and i match with dominicans.

#I think i’m having a midlife crisis #im 35 #my life is like the bejees hit single #“im going nowhere somebody help me”

“Christians shouldn’t be using foul language”

Average Bostonian Catholic: Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckedy Fuck Fuck Fuck. Go fuck yehself, kehd!”

To the Ubereats driver who was too “busy” to pick up his phone

Thanks for the wrong order, instead of peanut butter, I now have a Super Chicken Quesadilla. Oh, and thanks for blocking my number. I tried to call the ubereats number but was required to enter a bullshit code for an order from 7-11.

#too bad the guy who this was going to didn’t pick up

Leaving my bedroom window open at night was a bad idea 😩

#heard hanky panky #wish i didn’t hear that