Beware Human Elders
Getting older doesnât necessarily slow a human down. It seems like every few weeks a news story pops up about a senior citizen beating up a mugger or home invader. Any human brave enough to travel the stars would be able to take care of themselves, no matter how old they are.
. . .
In the grand scheme of the universe humans had not been traveling the stars for a long time. Thus, humans were still a rare sight for most. Outside of their own colonies it was virtually unheard of to see a human young or a human elder. Humans in their prime were rare enough.
So when a group of borderline pirates saw two human elders, one male and one female, in a secluded area of a remote star base they decided to take advantage. It was seven against two, so the pirates felt confident with their odds. The female needed a device to assist her walking! This would be enjoyable.
âHumaaaaan,â the leader said in a taunting voice. Unexpectedly, he was ignored. âHuman!â the leader growled. Again, he was ignored. âOi!â He stepped up to them, slightly blocking their path.
âHello,â the female said, bearing her teeth. The male did not react.
âWe donât like humans here,â the leader said.
âOh, dear. Well, weâll just be on our way then,â the female replied. The two started to move around the pirates.
âWeâre not done with you yet.â The leader cut them off again.
âWe are done with you,â the male said. He took ahold of the femaleâs free hand to guide her away.
One of the pirates growled and hit the male in the face. The male staggered, found his footing, and lunged at the one who hit him, punching him several times. Two more pirates joined the fray.
âLeave my husband alone!â the female yelled. She swung her mobility aid at the leader, hitting him in his sensitive visual organs. He went down, clutched the impacted area. The female jabbed him twice more, with the second blow landed directed on his poison filtering organ. The excruciating pain ensured he stayed down.
The female went after another pirate who was going after her husband. She kicked out the limb of one of them, then used her mobility aid to whack him on the head, drawing blood. She pushed a button on her mobility aid, making a three-inch blade pop out from the bottom. She stabbed the third pirate, aiming for center body mass. The pirate reared back, not expected such an attack from a creature smaller than itself. One more jab and the pirate dropped. Instead of assisting the male the female watched the end of the fight. The fight was over soon, all seven pirates groaning on the floor.
The female smiled, and went over to the male. âStill so hansom and strong,â she said fondly. She took a wipe out of her purse and removed blood from the maleâs face. Then she kissed him.
The male grunted and looked her over for injures. âEfficient as always, darling.â
There was a commotion in the adjacent hallway. They looked over to see several aliens and one human run in.
. .
Human Steve ran into the bay area and stopped so suddenly he tripped over himself and almost face planted. He took in the fallen pirates with wide eyes. Then he saw the two human elders.
âGrandma! Grandpa! Are you okay?â
The male scowled. âNo. We had to travel far too long into this forsaken vector to come see our great grandbaby. Ridiculous.â
The female smiled placidly, patting the male on the arm. âWeâre fine, dear. Our accommodations traveling here were fairly comfortable.â
The guard wasnât sure how to respond. The male was bleeding from several cuts, and the female was leaning heavily on her mobility aid. âIâm fairly certain Human Steve meant your physical health⌠because of the fight.â
The male grunted.
The female smiled. âWeâre fine sir. A little excitement is good for the heart.â
The male huffed and crossed his arms.
Human Steve looked at the fallen aliens, all of the blood, and the blood spots left by his grandmaâs cane. âWell, Iâm glad you both are okay. Letâs go see Jane and Anna and get you patched up, okay?â He started to usher his grandparents to the ship.
âWait, they need to-â the security officer started to say.
âIâve got it, thank you so much for your help,â Human Steve said over his shoulder. âIâll make sure they get where they need to go!â
The security stared after them, stumped. He turned to the beaten pirates. At least dealing with this was familiar. Humans were crazy. Give him pirates any day.
. Â .
Steve waited until they were further down the hall with no chance of being overheard. âGrandma, did you really bring your stiletto cane with you?â
Grandma patted his arm. âOf course, dear. We heard all sorts of stories about space. Iâm not as spray as I used to be, and I didnât want to bring a gun. It wouldnât be very mannerly to put a hole in a shipâs haul, now would it?â
Steve abruptly remembered that neither of his grandparents had been to space. With how grumpy his grandpa could be he was surprised they hadnât run into trouble before now. Unless⌠âSo, um, were there any other problems getting here?â
Grandpa gave an annoyed grunt, which defiantly meant âyesâ.
âOh, it was nothing dear. Some creation tried to snatch my purse last change over. Your grandpa showed him the error of his ways.â
Steve laughed. He loved his grandparents.
. .
Later, the officer asked crew member Human Steve about his sires, and how they were able to take out seven pirates.
âOh, Grandma and Grandpa?â Human Steve laughed. âThey both fought in the Last Great War. I know they both have a few metals. Theyâre the reason I joined the Special Forces.â He grinned at the security officer, obviously proud of his lineage.
That certainly answered the officerâs question. Regular humans were scary enough. The warriors though⌠no wonder the human elders delt with the pirates on their own.
