Why I am writing.
I’m not sure what I want this to be or if I want to share it with anyone. As of now my intentions are to just put it on the internet and see what happens. I don't plan on telling my friends or family. I just need an outlet you know? So sorry if this is of no interest to you.
But here’s what you should know. I am fresh out of college, a devout follower of Christ, and frankly just confused about where He’s put me in life right now. So if you can relate, please keep reading we may be of help to each other.
I am trying to embrace 1 Timothy 2:1-4
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good and pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” ESV
I am living the quiet life. I am a school teacher and I do my job well even as a first year teacher. But I feel like I am meant for so much more. I know that God blessed me to be able to do the things that I am doing, but I want more. I know that is selfish of me, and honestly I know that the selfish ambition behind me writing this is to get famous and have people notice me. But God wants the quiet life, that is pleasing to him, that is what i am trying and struggling to be content with.
This world throws worldly things at me all day and tells me to “love myself” “put myself first” “follow my heart” and I mean really this whole website is stuff like that. But I should be following God, putting him first, obeying what HE calls me to do. I’m not sure if he called me to write this or not yet so I just am and we’ll see what happens.
You see, when I said I am confused with why God has put me where I am its because I am confused. I don't know anyone here where I live, I can't find friends that are even remotely my age, and I already have this built up anger against my job that I thought He wanted me to do.
But I do take heart in knowing that I am not alone. And although I may not know anyone else out there that has the same lonely situation I have, I know that Jesus went through similar trials. He was a god on earth for crying out loud! There was literally no one on earth that could relate to him, but he found happiness and friends and acceptance anyway.
I know that I am loved and accepted by Christ and I know that there are many others who are in a much more difficult situation than I am, but for those of you that have been the “goodie goodie” christian your whole life and are now trying to figure out what God has in store for you next, I am with you. And I’ll keep you posted...