i spent years with a guy who didnt love me properly. i loved him so much, and yet? there are so many things i missed out on
i never knew the feeling of being someones everything, alternatively ive never felt this drawn to someone before. it’s a feeling that takes over everything, and nothing else matters except... her... it’s like my whole life has led to her, not only that, but being with her feels like destiny. it feels like ive known her my whole life, and yet am just getting to know new things about her every single day. i could spend hours talking to her, and she could spend hours going on about any one topic, like a little chatterbox.
it’s so strange, ive never felt so complete. ive felt empty, but... im no longer empty like i used to be. i feel so appreciated, loved, heard, seen, cared for, supported, everything. so many new feelings ive never felt before. after 6 months with him, i was already having thoughts about others, wondering what i was missing out on. so far, not even 8 months with her and i couldnt fathom being with anyone else. the craziest thing is all this is occurring while she lives across the ocean. love knows no distance, no boundary, no gender, nothing. love just is. it’s hit me like a bus with this one
if youve made it this far, im surprised, it’s still just going to be rambling about her. i honestly dont have a direction for this post.
i had a dream about cheating on her, and i realized it was a nightmare, i felt so guilty even though it had just been a dream. how could i have done that to the girl of my dreams? to my everything? it’s crazy how bad i felt over something i never did, vs how little i feel over things i actually did do in past relationships. not sure how that works, but alright.
it’s weird how amount of time together is no measurement for love or happiness. she travelled across the damn ocean for me for gods sake, he could hardly travel across the city to spend time with me on his day off. she gets giddy and excited when we discuss the possibility of a future together. he showed no interest in moving in together. it goes on and on really, but i dont particularly like sitting around talking about my ex, i just like to vent. i still think about it sometimes, realizing small things that i didnt notice before. i spent a lot of time thinking that i was doomed to only be loved partially, not meant to be someones priority, not being worth all of that love. i was very wrong about that... not only do i get to receive it every day but im showered in it. honest and truly, i wake up to kind words from her every day, she endlessly compliments me and refuses to let me say anything otherwise. she validates me constantly, and makes me feel like the world. im so thankful for her existence, and it hurts me to know that anyone has ever been unkind to her.
i dont have a lot of point to this, i just love her so much. the kind of love that washes over you, makes you want to be around them forever, feels like a sunrise in your chest. it’s refreshing, and i could go on and on for years about everything. from the start, things i realize, things from before, things i look forward to, things i endlessly love. i should probably just get a journal lol
anyway... tldr i love maya
romaincrisis
origamiaround
kaledo-art
tangentwithtanner
vaporwave
pixelskylines
discoholicmusic
snowghoul
